Winter break may be the closest the college body comes to hibernation. We build caves out of our comforters to watch Netflix, forbidding all other humans to enter this sanctuary except for parents returning freshly folded laundry. For three consecutive weeks, we leave the home only to go see Star Wars VII yet again, and live like Wookies with our unshaven legs.
And yet, break is also a time full of awkwardness, where you are debating whether to drink in front of grandparents on Christmas, and those uncomfortable moments when your parents walk in on a naked scene when you’re watching a rerun of Game of Thrones (even though you explain that the brothel scenes usually contain important political plot points).
And then the family and adults in our lives begin to ~grill~ us on the questions that we would rather avoid, making the itch to go back to campus burn even more. We’re all familiar with some version of the annual Winter Break Grill Session, as our relatives compare us to our peers, remind us of the real world outside of college and finally bring up some of the more questionable transactions on our debit cards. Thank goodness we’re finally back at school so we don’t have to answer these awkward questions anymore.
Parents: How were your grades this semester?
Well, they developed from B’s to C’s.
Parents: Do you have a secret boyfriend/girlfriend you’re not telling us about?
Yesterday I found a chocolate chip in my pocket and ate it. Does that answer your question.
Parents: [girl you hate from high school] got into law/med school!
Good for her, and thoughts and prayers to all who have to work with her.
Parents: Did you hook up the Saxby’s app to Dad’s credit card?
… But you get $2 off for every $20 you spend.
Parents: Have you figured out a plan for after graduation?
No, but I know what I’m wearing to Senior Ball.
Parents: I saw that photo of you at [formal name] on Facebook. How did you wear a bra with that dress?
Parents: Do you honestly think we’ll let you go on spring break [insert place name]?
There are far more dangerous places in the world with less all-inclusive packages than this.
Parents: Have you finally gotten lunch with [awkward family friend you don’t want to hang out with]?
Yah … I’ll take a rain check on that one.
Parents: Have you ever been GERMsed?
Not that I remember.
Parents: What is this “DFMO” I hear you and your friends referencing?
It’s just an MSB major… Da Finance Management Operations.
Parents: Wait, you’re still single?
Gee, Gerald and Karen, where do you think I inherited my inability to love?
Parent: Do you honestly think we’ll pay for your phone bill after you graduate?
Don’t worry, Hoyas. The doldrums of spring semester will soon hit us, and we shall overcome our latest grill session.
Image Sources: giphy.com, grovesacademy.org