Breaking News: You Can Now Have an Invisible Boyfriend!

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As the semester starts to wind down, your chance of finding love on the Hilltop is beginning to diminish. Long gone are the days of locking eyes with your future Hoya hubby from across the bar at Rhino. Furthermore, with the impending doom of finals you only have a few weeks to make a move on your econ crush before your days are confined to a lonely Lau cubicle. Realistically speaking, your chances of finding that special someone are pretty slim.

While this all may sound pretty depressing, 4E is here to lessen your despair with a pretty huge announcement. As we’ve seen with the creation of various groundbreaking dating apps, like Tinder and Cuddlr, conventional relationships really don’t exist anymore. It’s 2015, so who says you even need a real significant other to be in a relationship…right? Invisible Boyfriend, a new app still in its beta stages, is attempting to break down even more dating barriers by offering you a relationship with “a boyfriend your friends can believe in!”

Don’t have time for a real relationship? No problem, because your invisible boyfriend always works to accommodate your busy schedule! Invisible Boyfriend makes the relationship all about you as it aims to give you “real-world and social proof that you’re in a relationship – even if you’re not!” Forget the days of incessant relationship questions from friends and family members, because you’ll now have texts to prove that you won’t end up as a future cat lady! Disclaimer: 4E can’t actually guarantee that you won’t be a cat lady.  

Signing up for your own invisible boyfriend is easy. Just head over to www.invisibleboyfriend.com and begin filling out your dream guy’s profile. You’ll have the ability to pick out everything from his name to his personality type. With Invisible Boyfriend, you have the control to make a guy that even Taylor Swift couldn’t write a song about!

The app also lets you create a background story for how you two met, which eliminates awkward story gaps that you may otherwise experience with a Tinder match. Make sure to include your real address as well, so that you’ll receive your handwritten postcard from your new significant other. Your relationship will soon seem so real, you won’t even remember it’s fake!

Photos/Gifs: imgur.com’ bopandtigerbeat.com; nymag.com

4E’s Guide to Dating Apps: The Good, the Bad, and the Cuddly…

online-dating

College: Where students fresh out of high school are dropped in the middle of a random city in order to fend for themselves for the next four years. While you’re here you’re expected to study (and party) hard, grow as a person, make friends for a lifetime and, if your family is traditional enough, find a soulmate!

Thanks to the age of technology, there’s a whole world of apps that are designed to bring people together for all kinds of purposes. Not to worry, 4E has delved (maybe a little too deep) into the world of dating apps and has resurfaced with our top 5, in hopes that boys and girls alike can find love in a hopeless place (like a Lau cubicle). Here we go!

  1. Tinder. The holy grail/mother of all dating apps that is Tinder claims the number 1 spot because it was designed specifically with the college student in mind. In August 2012, Tinder was first piloted at the University of Southern California, and has since blown up around the country. Don’t feel like being a contributing member of society but want to boost your self esteem? Tinder allows you to search from men and women in your area and between your choice of age range, and if you like their profile, you can swipe right. A couple of hours on this bad boy and you’ll be raking enough matches to make you feel like you actually did something productive with your day.o-MINDY-PROJECT-TINDER-570
  2. Grindr. Despite the suggestive name, the idea behind Grindr is actually  pretty genius. Grindr, like Tinder, is location based, but is catered to males specifically. So if you’re a guy looking for someone to hang out, or go on a date with, then this is definitely your app! What we like about it is that guys can only see the information you want them to see, so you don’t have to worry about the creepy stalker types that want to find out where you live (Degrassi flashbacks, anyone?). The makers of Grindr also make it clear that this app isn’t just for dating, so if you just want a friend, you’re welcome too! If you are looking for a date however, there are more than 5 million guys on this app, so you’ll be sure to have your hands full searching! grindr
  3. Cuddlr. In a previous 4E post, we described who we would want to match with on Cuddlr just because the idea seemed so perfect, and we still stand by it. Just in case you’ve been living under a rock and missed that post, Cuddlr is a (surprise!) location based app designed not for dating, but for cuddling (which could eventually turn into dating if you cuddle enough). You read correctly, based on who is near you, Cuddlr allows you to meet up with someone and share a cuddle- no strings attached. With this app you don’t have to worry about anyone having intentions other than sharing a cuddle, so just in case Bradley Cooper or your boyfriend pillow are unavailable, this app is perfect for you! Cuddlr
  4. Coffee Meets Bagel. This app right here is for all you ladies who are tired of wondering where the good guys are, or so the website says. We must confess, the name was what brought us to this app. Coffee? Bagels? Sign us up! With this app, ladies are given one “Bagel” at noon and can decide on whether to “Like” or “Pass” someone else’s bagel. Just to clarify, no your picture is not a bagel. This app is designed for busy young professionals who want to spice up their coffee breaks, hence the name coffee meets bagel. It’s perfect for the busy Georgetown woman who doesn’t have hours to spend swiping or would rather watch Netflix. cmb
  5. DateMySchool. We must admit,  we were kind of skeptical about this one when we first heard about it. We asked ourselves, “would we want to date specifically someone from Georgetown? What if it doesn’t work out and we have Econ together???” But then we looked closer and saw that anyone with an “.edu” address could sign up, and that you could filter your searches by school, departments, etc. If you’re big on privacy, a plus is that DateMySchool makes you invisible to people who are in the same school or department as you by default – that way you don’t have to worry about Eric from OPIM knowing that you’re stalking him online. If you want to make yourself visible you can change this in your privacy settings anytime. With this app, the college world is your oyster! 5303f7d984111.image

There you have it readers, the wonderful world of dating apps! The world is yours folks and now you have no excuse to not have a significant other to bring home for your next family reunion!

Photos: eduinreview.com, huffingtonpost.com, wikipedia.org, digitaltrends.com, coffeemeetsbagel.com, thebray.com 

A Crash Course in Cuddlr-ing

cuddlrguideIn 2012 the world witnessed the launch of Tinder, a groundbreaking new “dating app” that allowed users to connect with each other with a single swipe.  Coeds across college campuses found themselves captivated as they wasted hours upon hours of their lives scrolling through photos and making the quick decision between left and right swiping.  However, fingers soon began to tire and cramp from tedious Tinder-ing, emotions ran high from the rejection of not matching with a solid right-swipe and confusion arose as awkward messages were exchanged.  Such sentiments made it clear that a new innovation in dating apps was necessary.

The breakthrough presented itself in September of this year with the emergence of Cuddlr, an app which allows users to connect with one another in the hopes of finding a platonic cuddle buddy.  The app functions similarly to Tinder as it accesses your Facebook and allows you to scroll through potential matches while providing you with the option of sending other users “cuddle requests”.  If your potential match accepts your request, you are given the option to exchange messages and also view a map with the GPS location of one another.  We here at 4E took it upon ourselves to compile a list of the top 5 cuddle requests you should actually accept (because let’s face it, you won’t want to give your exact location to just anyone):

5. Bradley Cooper: This one made the list for pretty obvious reasons.  Bradley is a former Hoya, big time celeb and all in all pretty easy on the eyes.  He may live outside of the Cuddlr app vicinity for Georgetown, but hey a girl can always dream.

4. Jack the Bulldog: He’s cute, furry and pretty easy going.  Give this potential match a treat and he’ll cuddle right up to you…just make sure you watch out for his drool!

3. Your Roommate:  If you and your roommate are pretty inseparable then matching on Cuddlr is really just the next step in your relationship.  It’s convenient because you’re likely already in the same room, so travel arrangements won’t really be an issue as it could be with other potential matches.  Pull up your favorite show on Netflix and let the binge watching ensue (bonus points if it’s a shared account)!

2. Pumpkin Spice Latte:  It’s finally fall on the Hilltop, and what’s more in season than a steaming PSL to go along with your pumpkin scone and pumpkin scented candle collection?  Answer: Nothing.  Be honest, does anything really sound better than cuddling up with your favorite seasonal drink after a long day of classes?  That’s what I thought… #Basic

1. The Boyfriend Pillow:  This one speaks for itself.  It’s easily portable, incredibly comfortable, and it won’t complain when you insist on watching Rom-Com marathons…I mean could things get any better than this?!

Cuddle on, 4E readers!

Images and Gifs From: blog.travelbox.com, tumblr.com, and svetlanasevich.com

Confessions of a Confession Page Celeb

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If you follow Georgetown Confessions on Facebook, you may have noticed a trend in recent posts.  Over the past few weeks, there have been several confessions posted about a certain Georgetown cutie who seems to have caught the attention of students across campus.  While he may not be the biggest man on campus, he’s definitely the big man on campus at the moment.  For those of you still in the dark, I’m referring to 4E’s very own D.J. Angelini.

Now of course, you may find yourself asking, “Who is this D.J. Angelini and why is everyone posting about him?”  If such questions have been keeping you up late at night, you’ll be pleased to know that 4E has got you covered. I recently sat down with the man who inspires the confessions to get the exclusive scoop on what life is like as a self-proclaimed “big deal”.  So without further ado, D.J. Angelini …

 How are you handling your newfound fame?  

My newfound fame has definitely been exciting to say the least. My favorite moment was when I was walking in Lau and I overheard this freshman girl say, ‘Really? THAT’S the kid all of these confessions are about? SERIOUSLY!? HIM? I don’t agree…’ I would say that was a defining moment of my sophomore year so far.

 

 

Would you say these confessions are an accurate representation of yourself?

I think we can acknowledge all of these confessions are grossly overblown. I mean, one person wrote that my roommate was better looking than me! Obviously, I don’t agree with that one.

Any idea about who’s writing these confessions? Anything you’d like to say to them?

I have my suspicions about who’s writing these confessions. If I had to guess, it’s probably either the cleaning lady in Regents who roughly (but flirtatiously?) stabs me in the head with the back of her mop to wake me up when I’m taking naps in the wee hours of the morn. Or it’s the lady at Salad Creations who doesn’t charge me when I ask for extra croutons. Either way, I’d be happy. I guess I’d say to them that Georgetown Confessions is not a great way to compliment me. I mean, they only post every two weeks. I can’t wait that long. Just text me or something jeez!

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Do you consider yourself a big deal?

I’ve had five or six people anonymously mention my name in a rarely viewed Georgetown-specific Facebook page frequented by incoming freshmen and five kids studying in Lau on a Friday night. Wouldn’t you say that makes me a big deal?

So there you have it, straight from the Georgetown celeb himself. And for all you Tinder-ers out there, make sure to keep your eye out for D.J.!  He’s been crushing it lately with his right-swipe-to-match ratio (likely due to his new fame and awesome 4E articles).

Photos: Georgetown Confessions and Facebook courtesy of D.J. AngeliniGifs: blogspot.com, tumblr.com, wifflegif.com, likegif.com

Make Tinder Fun

twinder graphicHas Tinder become boring for you? It certainly has for us at the Fourth Edition. In our fast-paced blogging world we get tired of apps really quickly. Luckily, one brave soul named Samer Kalaf from theconcourse.deadspin.com recently pioneered a new approach to the dating app. In a risky and possibly reputation-demolishing move, the groundbreaking journalist decided to communicate with his dating prospects solely through Jaden Smith’s tweets (@officialjaden). Kalaf was looking for the perfect woman, a woman who would appreciate the complexity and intellectual depth of Jaden Smith’s sage tweets.

Tweets like this:

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The results are glorious. 

The Fourth Edition, as usual, would like to suggest that you try this at home. Here are some of the characters, celebrities and movies you should attempt to impersonate via Tinder and some quotes that are particularly apropos:

Spongebob

  • “I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready ready ready.”
  • “I wumbo, she wumbo, he-she-me wumbo. Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo!”
  • “I’m ugly and I’m proud!”
  • “I don’t need it, I don’t need it!”
  • “I’m no weenie!”
  • “Be true to yourself, don’t miss your chance and you won’t end up like a fool who ripped his pants!”

Frank Underwood

  • “Finish your thought.”
  • “I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.”
  • “As we used to say in Gaffney, never slap a man while he’s chewing tobacco.”
  • “I’ve always loathed the necessity of sleep. Like death, it puts even the most powerful men on their backs.”
  • “Proximity to power deludes some into thinking they wield it.”

Amanda Bynes

  • “My lawyer is getting my case dropped! There was no proof of sexual harassment or drugs. Instead of me asking for the cop to be arrested for sexual harassment, I want my case dropped as well.”
  • “I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life!”
  • “I need Nicki Minaj’s wig person stat!”

Bridesmaids

  • “Carroll! Get your s— together, Carroll!”
  • “Oh you live in Milwaukee? I’m sorry.”
  • “It’s called civil rights. This is the ’90s.”
  • “You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!”

Any quality quotes we’ve missed? Share your most inspired ideas with us in the comments section below!

This Day in Hoya History: 1985

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna – way before Nirvana. There was U2 and Blondie – and music still on MTV! Her two kids in high school – they tell her that she’s uncool – cause she’s still preoccupied…

Well, aren’t we all a little pre-occupied with 1985?

I know I am, and for good reason, too. 1985 was a big year for Georgetown, and on today’s installment of This Day in Hoya History: February 22, 1985, there was a myriad of monumental events happening on the Hilltop. There were some things that were the same as today: GUSA campaigns were in full swing and everybody seemed to be talking about the economy (only this time, it was under the Reagan administration). But other things were quite novel: Village C was under construction, students were fighting against raising the drinking age and *gasp!* a certain student group was beginning to use … dare I say it … computers.

In addition, the February 22, 1985 edition of The Hoya included quite a few quirky advertisements.

Take a look at some 1985 highlights in the photo gallery below. And in the meantime, listen to this song; we all know it’s a classic.

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