The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

Where Should You Spring Break?

Banner - Break QuizHave you ever wondered what exotic location is your spirit location. Well, look no further. In honor of Spring Break (and procrastinating midterms), 4E is asking you to ponder: Where should you ~actually~ go for your break?

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/where-should-you-actually-go-on-spring-break”]

Photos: letsgovr.com

 

An Open Letter to Mother Nature

To: Mother Nature
Cc: Mr. Sun, Jack Frost, President Obama
Bcc: Mom
Subject: WWTWD? (What will the weather do? Duh.)

Dear Mother Nature,

As a D.C. citizen and a lover of weather-appropriate fashion, I want to (read: must) express to you my ultimate confusion. I simply do not know what shenanigans you are trying to bring upon the District of Columbia.

Exhibit A
We went from this…

tumblr_mzkpcjh8HV1sj5h4oo1_1280

… to this …

hot … in a matter of four days.

Hello? Is this a joke? Am I getting punk’d?

I mean really, come on. It is February. No one loves spring as much as I do, but all of these weather changes are totally messing with my head — and don’t get me started on what this is doing to my closet.

Example: Yesterday I wanted to take a nice walk down to Chipotle because it was beautiful and warm out. What happens? Ice, and then snow and then all of a sudden I was on the floor.

I slipped and fell.

Please, explain this to me. It was 60 degrees out. There should not be snow on the ground. I should be basking in the sunlight, not laying in a pile of dirty winter precipitation.

What do you think this is, Canada? We ALL know the real reason we came to D.C. was because it has warmer weather than our northern neighbors. It is the thing that I brag about every time I see my family — and I am from Long Island, not Antarctica.

The worst part about these crazy weather patterns is how it is messing up Georgetown’s style. I have seen everything from woolen sweaters to shorts to heavy down coats in the span of a day. That is not normal and, honestly, it just makes me want to cry.

So please, Mother Nature, next time you feel like going on a weather bender, keep in mind that I, Courtney Klein, will not be happy.

Also, I blame you for my cold. You should honestly be trying to get on my good side. Please step up your game before I apply to a school in a normal city.

Sincerely,
Courtney Klein

Photo: Huffington Post; Gifs: tumblr

The 5 People You’ll Meet Before Spring Break

the five people youll meet before spring break

Let’s face it, the semester is flying by and most of you probably cannot even believe spring break is right around the corner. While walking around campus or discussing plans with friends, you may have noticed that there are certain stigmas attached to soon-to-be spring breakers. Whether you are planning on traveling to exotic destinations with the fam, drinking mojitos in Cabo with your best friends or just laying low at home, there is no denying that there are certain characters for each Hoya. Without further ado, here are five people that you will most likely encounter this week at the Hilltop, whether you like it or not.

1. The Sulker This Joe or Jane Hoya is pretty upset that they are not going to Florida or Mexico this year. They complain that life in New Jersey/Pennsylvania/New York is so boring and are really not looking forward to the fact that they have to get their tonsils/wisdom teeth out. They also freely share their sadness with anyone who will listen, especially because some of their friends were lucky enough to snag a great deal in the Bahamas but, sadly, they are unable to attend. Better luck next year!

2. The Partier This oh-so-fun Hoya just cannot wait for the big SB. They have had a countdown set on their iPhone since December and consistently post on their BFF’s walls about how crazy/weird/fun things are going to get in Cancun!! They really hope to make friends with kids from other colleges and recently ordered brand new bathing suits and SPF 75 sunscreen and are leaving their fake IDs behind (thanks to that 18 year-old drinking age). Get ready for some craziness, Mexico!

3. The Family Guy/Gal Who needs crazy parties or loads of alcohol to have a fun spring break? This family orientated Gtowner is going to spend some time back home lounging on the couch with their mom’s home cooked food, snuggling with their dog. This Hoya will be sleeping in until noon every day and catching up with their high school friends while trying to finish the three papers their demon-professors assigned.

4. The “Dedicated” (2 week) Yates Member Now, you probably have met this special Hoya many time, perhaps after Thanksgiving Break (working off the turkey weight) or New Years (trying to keep their resolutions)…but ya gotta give them some credit for trying! Whether they go to Yates on the daily or if it’s their first time stepping inside the gym, this soon to be spring breaker is desperately trying to get into tip-top shape … fast. They constantly complain on the weekends about how much they want (but can’t have) Tuscany and stay on the treadmills and ellipticals past 30 minutes, even when there is a line to use the machine. They are most likely going to a beach destination and want to make sure they sheds off any leftover hibernation pounds. Don’t sweat it, dedicated (2 week) Yates member, I have faith in you.

5. You You’re excited for your spring break plans, whatever they may be, and can’t wait to get some sleep after the crazy midterm week you’ve had. You’re ready to get out of the 202 and take a break from Hilltop life! You’ve re-worked your travel plans to get back to campus early to go see the Syracuse game and are just ready to have some time off! You deserve it, too!

Photo: www.nakid-in-dc.blogspot.com, media.tumblr.com, stuffpoint.com, www.q98.com