Co-authored by Max Wheeler and Lindsay Lee
The term “First World Problems” has become well-ingrained into the language and culture of college students and social media users everywhere, referring to complaints about good/great things in someone’s life that just aren’t quite good enough. I’ll be honest that I’m guilty of these “First World Problem” rants at times.
Georgetown students struggle with some of these problems every day– and that’s not supposed to be insulting, simply an admission of what is to come. Here are some unique Georgetown Problems that only Hoyas can truly understand.
Everyone has inevitably embarrassed themselves attempting to enter or exit Leo’s with a crowd of people behind them. I don’t care how much you work out at Yates, those doors are unnaturally heavy. Maybe it’s a way to burn some calories before and after meals.
Sticking with the Leo’s theme, anyone who has made the mistake of going to dinner during rush hour has also run into a surprising shortage of silverware. Forks are typically the first thing to go, followed quickly by spoons, which is unfortunate because typically it’s hard to eat things with knives (without hurting yourself). Hopefully you can find some finger food.
Going along with the door complaint above, the doors to the Lau staircases are also unnaturally heavy. I know I can’t be the only one who has left Lau 2 with a bagel in one hand and a coffee in the other and can’t make it back to the fourth floor without some assistance from a kind stranger. They’re also too heavy for you to do the push-a-little-harder-to-swing-the-door-open-as-you-leave-so-that-the-person-a-little-ways-behind-you-can-catch-it-so-you-don’t-have-to-stand-there-and-hold-it-but-wont-be-rude maneuver we all know so well.
The Leavey Elevators
Only a select number of Hoyas have experienced the Leavey elevators: those who frequent the esplanade, anyone who’s had an interview in the upstairs club room, and, of course, the staff of The Hoya on their way to Leavey 421. These elevators are absolutely terrifying and every time I get in, I wonder if I’ll ever come out alive.
The Walsh Elevators
Okay…maybe I should just start taking the stairs since I have so many qualms about the elevators. But the Walsh elevators seem to have reverse sensors, so that the doors close when they sense something between them and remain open for far too long, even when you’re pressing the “close door” button. They also move at a glacial pace so that you enter as a freshman, and emerge on the fourth floor as a senior…citizen.
We live on a hill and it makes life hard sometimes. It is so tempting to leave Lau and to go downhill to eat at Leo’s, but after you’ve filled yourself with chili or chicken finger wok, you do NOT want to make the trip back uphill to study.
“What does Hoya Saxa mean?”, “So…being the ‘Hoyas’ means you’re the ‘Whats’?”, “Does Hoya mean bulldog?”.
Very few things confused me more when I first got to school than the fact that you don’t enter many buildings on the first floor. Walk into Lau, and you are on the third floor already. Walk into Regents or the MSB, and you could be on the first, second, or third floor. Same story for the ICC. I’m not an architect, but why does that make sense? WHY?!
I’m going to start this last one with a disclaimer: I loved living in Darnall this year with about 95% of my heart. For any incoming freshmen, there is no reason to panic if you check your Housing at a Glance in August and see that you were placed in Darnall. Lady Darnall will always have a special place in my heart. But nothing epitomizes Georgetown Problems more than this residence hall. The elevators only “work” sometimes, I’m terrified to stay in the laundry room for more time than necessary, and the walk back from Leo’s with a full stomach is miserable so I spend a lot of money at Epicurean. It’s not really close to anything, for that matter. I have a hard time believing much has changed in that building since the 70’s or 80’s. So while I couldn’t have asked for a better freshman dorm experience, you can’t fully appreciate Georgetown struggles until you’ve lived in that lovely building.
The struggles are real, Hoyas. Good luck.
Photo: Lindsay Lee/The Hoya