The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

How to Prep Properly for Spring Break

Spring BreakWhy does it seem like we just came back from winter break and we are already taking midterms? For everyone who feels like they can’t study for one more second or wake up early anymore: There’s still hope.

SPRING BREAK is only 12 days from today, and preparation time is officially upon us! If you still haven’t made plans, stop everything you’re doing, forget about your midterms (there are more important things in life) and start planning.

1. Find some friends Sorry, not sorry, family, but this week is for getting away from the Hilltop while taking some of the Hilltop with you. Plan a trip with a group of your closest friends, with your favorite club or sports team or even with those friends you haven’t seen for the past few months and need to see again.

2. Look for the best destination Consider nightlife, money, fun activities and weather. Here are some recommendations…

  • California If you want to feel young, wild and free, consider flying out to the West Coast. It is definitely not that mainstream of a plan, and possibilities range from camping in the wild to roadtripping around Cali to visiting San Francisco or just hanging out on one of the many beaches. And consider that California boys and girls are undeniable! You might want to have a share…
  • Miami, South Beach: Good food (well, everything not related to Leo’s is good food), a nice beach and the best nightlife possible sounds like a full package to me. Plus, traveling inside the country might be easier and cheaper.
  • Islands around Latin America or the Caribbean I recommend Punta Cana, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta or the Bahamas. These are my favorite of all the options, but I’m obviously biased because I just bought my ticket to Punta Cana. Say ciao to this cold winter and welcome the sun from these tropical islands. Palms, white sand, crystalline water, all-inclusive hotels, exotic cocktail drinks, concerts in the sand, PARTY, PARTY, PARTY. You will have the opportunity to get that piercing you always wanted (but your parents did not let you have), go parasailing, get a henna (or real) tattoo or just do nothing in a hammock.

3. Talk to your parents Now that you’ve decided where to go, show them how much you’ve worked during midterms and how much you love them. It’s all a matter of being convenient and praying for mercy.

4. Prepare Create multiple music playlists, go shopping for sexy bikinis, go to Yates as much as you can (in two weeks, miracles might happen) and, whatever you do, ignore the calorie count picture in the bathroom stalls around campus; we don’t want you to get depressed.

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5. Study now Work, work, work. When spring break comes, you should not have pending work to distract you from relaxing! Remember: In 12 days, you’ll just be disconnecting from everything.

Buena suerte con todo, Hoyas! And start booking if you haven’t already!

Photos: Lupita Humbert for The Hoya, mi9.com