Forever 21 Has Opened

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Calling all shopaholics, if you didn’t think M street could get any better well think again because Forever 21 opened their doors this Saturday.

The stages of going to a Forever 21…

Stage 1: The thank god it’s the weekend, but I have nothing to wear tonight stage.

The struggle

Stage 2: The walk to the nearest Forever 21 in order to find a party outfit in t-minus 1 hour stage.

Stage 3: The incredibly overwhelming, yet excited “I just walked into a Forever 21 and will find the perfect outfit for tonight” stage.

yes, yes it is happening

Stage 4: The f*** yes, I just found what I needed for only $25 and that means I could technically throw up on it tonight and be okay with it stage.

 

Gifs: giphy.com

Wednesday Fixat10ns: Our Blunger Games Party Edition

Wednesday FixationsHi, y’all. Happy Wednesday. I hope your Hump Day is passing along smoothly, and I hope your first full week of classes is going splendidly. I’d also like to strongly urge you to apply to The Hoya and, more specifically, to 4E. When you do, you’ll get to write fun posts like this one and go to parties with us. *shameless self-promotion*

Speaking of, 4E is actually having a little party this weekend. It’s going to be Hunger Games-themed and we’re calling it the Blunger Games (Get it? Blog + Hunger Games?). It’s probably going to look like this:

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P.S. You aren’t invited.

But even though you can’t join us for the endless amounts of fun and shenanigans that we will engage in this fin de semana, we didn’t want you to leave here empty-handed. That’s why we made this playlist for you. Usually we do this on Fridays, but that’s when we’re having our party. Sorry, not sorry.

We’re going to use this at our Blunger Games rager. You can use it whenever you’d like:

1. The Hanging Tree (DIA Plattenpussys Edit) — Jennifer Lawrence We’re going to start the night with this one because it’s from the Mockingjay soundtrack and the remix will get us hyped for battle. Also, who knew Jennifer Lawrence was such a phenomenal singer?

2. Hungry Like The Wolf — Duran Duran Obviously at the Hunger Games, people are hungry. At the Blunger Games, we are Hungry Like The Wolf.

3. Tainted Love — Soft Cell This song really seems to hit at the heart of the whole Peeta-Katniss relationship drama. So I added it.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble — Taylor Swift Yup. President Snow, this one’s for you.

5. Boss A** B**** — Nicki Minaj featuring PTAF This is how Katniss must feel every time she hits somebody with a flaming arrow.

6. Here In Your Arms — Hellogoodbye Here’s another one for Katniss and Peeta. Or do I mean Katniss and Gale? (The world will never know.) Also, I never got over my angsty phase in middle school.

7. I Will Survive — Gloria Gaynor Number one objective at the Blunger Games: Survival.

8. ***Flawless (featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche) — Beyoncé Remember that part where Katniss is on the TV show and she spins around and her dress lights on fire like she’s some volcano? Good, because I’m sure she had this song in her head while it was happening.

9. Coco — Gnash (O.T. Genasis Cover) This one goes out to our Deputy Editor, Courtney “Coco” Klein. It will also provide us with a nice respite from all the violence of the Games.

10. All I Do Is Win — DJ Khaled featuring Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain and Snoop Dogg In the Blunger Games, as in life, there are losers. But not my Blunger Games team. We are going to win.

Yep, that’s about it. Happy Wednesday.

Just to reiterate: You’re not invited to our party this weekend, but maybe you will be next time if you join us! So do it. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos: car-memes.com; bodysmartinc.com; hottopic.com

Party Themes 2.0

Party Themes 2.0

Whiteout. Anything But Clothes. Toga. Flannels and handles. In a report released this afternoon by the Frat Boy Association of America (FBAA), these time-honored, critically acclaimed college party themes have all earned the widely sought-after “ratchet” status.

These findings reveal a lack of innovation across the board. Although these classics never fail to deliver their fair share of jungle juice, Natty, crop tops and shame, we at 4E believe it’s time to make some cutting-edge contributions to today’s antiquated party theme options.

Your Favorite Handle

A good party theme is all about the double entendre/puns. Sport @yourfavoritetwitteraccount on your T-shirt or dress up like your favorite flavor of Burnett’s. Recommendations include @LILBTHEBASEDGOD and @amandabynes. If you go the vodka route, get creative with your flavor choice. Tropical punch, perhaps. Just not maple syrup because we told you that’s disgusting.

I Woke Up Like This

Channel your inner Sasha Fierce or wear slippers and a nightgown. This theme presents a juxtaposition between divas and bedheads that will keep the party interesting. There is also the opportunity to put the absolute maximum or the bare minimum effort into the costume depending on whether you choose to be Bey or a lazy pajama-clad college student for the night. Earn extra points by merging the two and somehow finding a way to pull off being Beyoncé in a onesie.

Basic and Basic

Although the term “basic” has started to grind my gears, it has party theme potential. Either incorporate some chemistry knowledge into your outfit via a cute and flirty pH scale drawing on your tank top or opt for yoga pants and Uggs (with the fur rolled down) while toting around a Starbucks holiday cup.

Middle School Dance and Cargo Pants

This theme aims to take you back to your school gym in the seventh grade. Party attire can include a combination of any of the following elements: Apple Bottom jeans, denim mini skirt, pink Converse, a choker and/or a Juicy Couture track jacket. For the boys, cargo pants with so many pockets that you could simultaneously store all of your Yu-Gi-Oh cards within them. (Also acceptable: those sweatpants with fifteen zippers that allowed one to change from pants to capris to shorts to boxer-length shorts in a few easy unzips). If you’re not chasing your drinks with Sunny D and following those body shots with a sip of Capri Sun, you’re doing it wrong.

And that’s all for now. Use these last days before Thanksgiving to give these themes a try or hold out until your last free weekend before finals. Because you can only dress in ABC so many times before you start to realize it’s cold out.

Photo: noisey.com

How to Prep Properly for Spring Break

Spring BreakWhy does it seem like we just came back from winter break and we are already taking midterms? For everyone who feels like they can’t study for one more second or wake up early anymore: There’s still hope.

SPRING BREAK is only 12 days from today, and preparation time is officially upon us! If you still haven’t made plans, stop everything you’re doing, forget about your midterms (there are more important things in life) and start planning.

1. Find some friends Sorry, not sorry, family, but this week is for getting away from the Hilltop while taking some of the Hilltop with you. Plan a trip with a group of your closest friends, with your favorite club or sports team or even with those friends you haven’t seen for the past few months and need to see again.

2. Look for the best destination Consider nightlife, money, fun activities and weather. Here are some recommendations…

  • California If you want to feel young, wild and free, consider flying out to the West Coast. It is definitely not that mainstream of a plan, and possibilities range from camping in the wild to roadtripping around Cali to visiting San Francisco or just hanging out on one of the many beaches. And consider that California boys and girls are undeniable! You might want to have a share…
  • Miami, South Beach: Good food (well, everything not related to Leo’s is good food), a nice beach and the best nightlife possible sounds like a full package to me. Plus, traveling inside the country might be easier and cheaper.
  • Islands around Latin America or the Caribbean I recommend Punta Cana, Cancun, Puerto Vallarta or the Bahamas. These are my favorite of all the options, but I’m obviously biased because I just bought my ticket to Punta Cana. Say ciao to this cold winter and welcome the sun from these tropical islands. Palms, white sand, crystalline water, all-inclusive hotels, exotic cocktail drinks, concerts in the sand, PARTY, PARTY, PARTY. You will have the opportunity to get that piercing you always wanted (but your parents did not let you have), go parasailing, get a henna (or real) tattoo or just do nothing in a hammock.

3. Talk to your parents Now that you’ve decided where to go, show them how much you’ve worked during midterms and how much you love them. It’s all a matter of being convenient and praying for mercy.

4. Prepare Create multiple music playlists, go shopping for sexy bikinis, go to Yates as much as you can (in two weeks, miracles might happen) and, whatever you do, ignore the calorie count picture in the bathroom stalls around campus; we don’t want you to get depressed.

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5. Study now Work, work, work. When spring break comes, you should not have pending work to distract you from relaxing! Remember: In 12 days, you’ll just be disconnecting from everything.

Buena suerte con todo, Hoyas! And start booking if you haven’t already!

Photos: Lupita Humbert for The Hoya, mi9.com

Flawless? Your Saturday Morning Story

beyoncc3a9-flawless-2We’ve all been there. After an aggressively long week of midterms, papers and presentations we were just a little too jazzed about the weekend. In truth, we were very jazzed. So we indulged a little (a lot!) in whatever it is that we do to bring in the weekend. It’s not our fault. We’re only human.

Since Beyoncé’s new song “***Flawless” has brought the phrase “I woke up like this” into recent prominence, 4E decided to juxtapose our various Friday aftermath narratives and Saturday morning predicaments to the tune of “***Flawless.” Watch the video below so you’ll be able to put a beat to your Saturday morning Leo’s brunch shame. How did you wake up this Saturday?

Where am I?

I woke up like this.

Uh… Pants, where you at?

I woke up like this.

Attack of the Bedhead: The Sequel

I woke up like this.

When did I fall asleep? Oh, wait. I didn’t.

I woke up like this.

Yep, still drunk.

I woke up like this.

Netflixed so hard that you forgot how to blink.

I woke up like this.

After a full eight hours of sleep.

I woke up like this.

The never fun: I just got GERMSed.

I woke up like this.

***Flawless? I think not, Hoyas.

Gifs: Tumblr; Photo: afrogeekmom.blogspot.com

Front Page Fakeout: The Rowdy Life of a Retired Mascot

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Notice: Front Page Fakeout is back, ladies and gentlemen! FPF is a parody post in which a 4E writer takes a story from The Hoya and puts an exaggerated and entirely false spin on it. Genius, we know. Front Page Fakeout uses invented names in its stories, except in cases where public figures are being blatantly satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. 

Jack the Bulldog may not frequent Verizon Center anymore due to his retirement, but that doesn’t mean he needs to stop being an all-star. Contrary to popular belief, Jack has found new stomping grounds, new ways to have fun and new crazy friends. In other words, he’s having a rollicking good time. But is it too good?

With Jack’s career coming to an end, the Hilltop needed a puppy replacement, pronto. Along came John B. Carroll, our new baby mascot. Jack’s first thought when he was notified of his long-awaited replacement was indubitably, TURN DOWN FOR WHAT? It was time for him to let loose.

Many university officials and Jack-insiders have said that since retirement, Jack still loves playing with other students. This is the understatement of the century. Jack has been “hanging out with the students” more than ever. He’s been spotted at Rhino, Malmaison, Brown House and even Rí Rá, despite only owning a vertical ID. Apparently, he’s quite the dancer. And allegedly, the Jumbo Slice workers in Adams Morgan have already made him his own tab.

What's in the water bottle, bro?
What’s in the water bottle, bro?

That’s not to say Jack is wasting away his retired weekends boozing. Jack always drinks responsibly, like all Hoyas over 21 and also like the Dos Equis Man suggests. (He and Jack are friends, obviously.)

Jack also has fun staring at fountains, reflecting in the Jesuit fashion and contemplating whether to jump in said fountains. Sometimes — to Fr. Steck’s dismay — he even goes skinny dipping, only to streak around campus minutes later.

"Wanna bet that I won't?"
“Wanna bet that I won’t?”

And you should see the way he’s been hitting the club scene throughout the District. He has his own personal table at Opera, and one worker there even commented that Jack “is constantly seen with models and other celebrities.” Basically, Jack lives life to the fullest. Rumor has it he’s even DJ-ing this week at the 9:30 Club.

"Okay, now pay up."
“Okay, now pay up.”

Jack is getting older, but he just doesn’t seem to want to slow down. He has been described as having a diva personality and, as we all know, there is no stopping a diva.

According to one Hoya, “Jack really seems to be going crazy in retirement. Apparently he blew off a press event with the Butler bulldogs so he could go party with Drake.”

Some students question what wild situation Jack will get himself into next. Here at 4E, we can only guess. But one thing is for sure: Though his mascot career may have ended, there seems to be no end in sight for Jack’s rowdy retirement.

Photo: http://www.totalprosports.com, http://traditions.georgetown.edu/jack/

Michelle Obama Birthday Preview

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Tonight there will be a not-so-secret birthday dance party just a few miles from our very own Hilltop. Who exactly is the birthday girl, you might ask? None other than the first lady herself, Michelle Obama.

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Nifty, nifty, look who’s fifty!

For her 50th birthday, which was actually on Friday, Michelle has invited her guests to enjoy “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert” tonight and has asked them to wear comfy shoes and eat before they arrive.

While those of us at 4E would suggest adding some more food to this soiree – a Wisey’s sandwich, perhaps – we certainly love to bust a move, and we feel this party is certain to be a hit. Over the past year, rumors have circulated that singers like Adele and Beyonce have agreed to perform at the bash.

Beyonce side note: Queen Bey especially has a great relationship with the Obamas. She was with them at almost every momentous occasion during President Obama’s two terms, including President Obama’s swearing-in at the Inauguration.

Beyonce. White House. The Obamas breaking it down on the dance floor. Need I say more?

For a little preview of what this night has in store, take a look at the birthday girl here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq-URl9F17Y

Photo: @WhiteHouse Twitter Account, www.theblaze.com/blog

Things You Can Only Get Away With During Summer

summer

Happy (almost technically) summer, Hoyas!

Bring on the warm weather, sandy beaches, service trips across the globe and internships, internships, internships! As you know, each season brings a special etiquette – i.e., “Don’t wear white after Labor Day” and “You can only start listening to Christmas music after Thanksgiving” – and summer is no different. The sunny skies and lazy days of the season bring about a special rule book that is all their own. So let’s take a gander at it, shall we? Here are “The Things You Can Only Get Away With During Summer”:

Summer is the only time when you can sleep in all day.

So in the morning, you can be like this:

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And then in the afternoon, you’re a little like this:

tumblr_lpa74o7nOO1qmmrh6o1_250 And then in the evening you look like this:

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But then at night, you look like this…

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…because you’re going out! Duh.

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Maybe you’re even going to a bonfire!

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Okay, maybe more like this:

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Only during the summer can you chill by the pool…

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… and do really cool tricks off the diving board.

ANCHORMAN

And afterwards, you can eat ridiculous amounts of these Freeze Pops:

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And then eat obscene amounts of ice cream:

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Followed by daiquiris.

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And then you’ll go to a music festival.

music-festivalAnd then watch a bajillion episodes of Arrested Development.

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Cause it’s summer. And you can do/watch/eat whatever you want.tumblr_mlzgscIULn1qhmnito1_500

For example, you can wear a whole bunch of pastels. BECAUSE IT’S SUMMER.

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Or you can wear this bathing suit. BECAUSE IT’S SUMMER.article-1031081-058986F00000044D-341_468x395

Just kidding. You should NEVER wear that bathing suit because it is morally and visually WRONG.

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But you can go to the beach! (Because it’s summer.)

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And you’ll look like the cast of Baywatch!

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Only because it’s summer. And you’re awesome.

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Happy summer, Hoyas!

Images/Gifs: tumblr.com

The 5 People You’ll Meet Before Spring Break

the five people youll meet before spring break

Let’s face it, the semester is flying by and most of you probably cannot even believe spring break is right around the corner. While walking around campus or discussing plans with friends, you may have noticed that there are certain stigmas attached to soon-to-be spring breakers. Whether you are planning on traveling to exotic destinations with the fam, drinking mojitos in Cabo with your best friends or just laying low at home, there is no denying that there are certain characters for each Hoya. Without further ado, here are five people that you will most likely encounter this week at the Hilltop, whether you like it or not.

1. The Sulker This Joe or Jane Hoya is pretty upset that they are not going to Florida or Mexico this year. They complain that life in New Jersey/Pennsylvania/New York is so boring and are really not looking forward to the fact that they have to get their tonsils/wisdom teeth out. They also freely share their sadness with anyone who will listen, especially because some of their friends were lucky enough to snag a great deal in the Bahamas but, sadly, they are unable to attend. Better luck next year!

2. The Partier This oh-so-fun Hoya just cannot wait for the big SB. They have had a countdown set on their iPhone since December and consistently post on their BFF’s walls about how crazy/weird/fun things are going to get in Cancun!! They really hope to make friends with kids from other colleges and recently ordered brand new bathing suits and SPF 75 sunscreen and are leaving their fake IDs behind (thanks to that 18 year-old drinking age). Get ready for some craziness, Mexico!

3. The Family Guy/Gal Who needs crazy parties or loads of alcohol to have a fun spring break? This family orientated Gtowner is going to spend some time back home lounging on the couch with their mom’s home cooked food, snuggling with their dog. This Hoya will be sleeping in until noon every day and catching up with their high school friends while trying to finish the three papers their demon-professors assigned.

4. The “Dedicated” (2 week) Yates Member Now, you probably have met this special Hoya many time, perhaps after Thanksgiving Break (working off the turkey weight) or New Years (trying to keep their resolutions)…but ya gotta give them some credit for trying! Whether they go to Yates on the daily or if it’s their first time stepping inside the gym, this soon to be spring breaker is desperately trying to get into tip-top shape … fast. They constantly complain on the weekends about how much they want (but can’t have) Tuscany and stay on the treadmills and ellipticals past 30 minutes, even when there is a line to use the machine. They are most likely going to a beach destination and want to make sure they sheds off any leftover hibernation pounds. Don’t sweat it, dedicated (2 week) Yates member, I have faith in you.

5. You You’re excited for your spring break plans, whatever they may be, and can’t wait to get some sleep after the crazy midterm week you’ve had. You’re ready to get out of the 202 and take a break from Hilltop life! You’ve re-worked your travel plans to get back to campus early to go see the Syracuse game and are just ready to have some time off! You deserve it, too!

Photo: www.nakid-in-dc.blogspot.com, media.tumblr.com, stuffpoint.com, www.q98.com