4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: How To Not Seem Like A Freshman

So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.

A visual representation of you as a freshman

Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.

Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:

    1. Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
    2. Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
    3. Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
    4. Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
    5. Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
    6. Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
      Your entire floor does NOT need to eat together
    7. Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
    8. Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.

Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.

Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, facebook.com, nick.com

High School vs. Georgetown

69906260

Everyone knows that high school and college are pretty different. From academics to the social scene, they are essentially worlds apart. 4E brings you a few situations that demonstrate this difference perfectly.

Situation 1: Getting an A

High School: *Shoves test in binder*

Georgetown:

anigif_enhanced-9837-1398147911-2

Situation 2: The “humble brag”

High School: “You’re on chapter 7?! I haven’t even opened the book.”

1429650043044

Georgetown: “You’re on chapter 7?! You better hurry up.  I memorized all the charts and statistics.”

Situation 3: Being Healthy

High School: “I try to eat a balance of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and carbs.”

Georgetown: “I try to eat healthy. Also, I went to Yates last week.”

Cant-Stop-Wont-Stop-Eating

Situation 4: Needing to do laundry

High School: “Maahhhm!”

200_s

Georgetown: “Maybe if I spray it with perfume no one will know…”

Situation 5: Relationships

High School: “After our date he asked if we should make it Facebook official.”

Georgetown: *Swipes you in at Leo’s* “It was essentially a date.”

510fba28f9cc9bb3428425b7a6262d5d

Situation 6: Trying really hard to cook

High School: *Prepares five course meal.*

td4c2qnn0flvxqzf4z5i

Georgetown: *Fails at preparing five course meal.*

tumblr_inline_mq50nuXdSq1qz4rgp

*And then resorts to EasyMac*

giphy

Situation 7: Being a nerd

High School: “You did the reading? Classic. Such a nerd.”

Georgetown: “That kid always ruins the curve. I heard he co-authored the textbook. What a nerd.”

giphy-facebook_s.jpg

Situation 8: Netflix and chilling

High School: *text at 6:30 p.m.* “Hey. I have to watch my sister tonight while my parents are gone but want to come over to watch some Netflix and chill?”

Georgetown: *text at 3:30 a.m.* “Netflix and chill;)?”

d4e

Situation 9: Waking up early

High School: “I got up at 5 a.m. for swim practice. I’m literally going to die.”

Georgetown: “I have an 8 a.m. class this semester. I’m literally going to die.”

waking-up-early-gif

Situation 10: Realistic career expectations

High School: “I’m incredibly passionate about biology, space, and astrophysics. I’m either going to be a physicist or an astronaut. I got a 5 in AP Physics so I’m probably smart enough.”

astronaut-2

Georgetown: “I mean, tax law could be interesting.”

Situation 11: Personal Space

High School:

Nsfw+time+home+alone_aa3fcf_3981083

Georgetown: “This should do for now.”

images-2

Situation 12: Approaching a crush

High school:

635536073271587860286188117_tumblr_lspvvtwvSE1qaqu1ro1_400

Georgetown: “My crush has got to be on tinder somewhere. It’s only a matter of time.”

giphy

Situation 13: Dance parties

High school: “There’s always that one couple…”

giphy-facebook_s-1.jpg

Georgetown: “There’s always that one kid..” *Brings entire freshman floor*

dance-funny-gif

College is hard. But, you’ve got to admit, most times it’s better than high school.

Photos/Gifs: trb.com; tumblr.com; giphy.com

Mastering the Freshman Year Humblebrag

n-LEGALLY-BLONDE-LAWM-large570Congratulations to all first years on getting this far in your journey to the Hilltop! Trust me, I know it hasn’t been an easy road. Tackling the various questions of your incoming summer is always painful. These questions tend to take a toll on you as summer progresses.

Questions like: “If I do poorly on the summer reading assignment, can I still graduate Magna Cum Laude?” “Georgetown has given me no guidance, but I have to submit my preregistration in three hours; what do I do?” “Where is the Qatar building? Is it by Leo’s?” “Was what Becky S. said in the Facebook group mildly racist?”

We’ve dealt with them all, and I can assure you, you’ll get through it. However, this isn’t even remotely the most difficult part of making the transition to Georgetown’s campus. The most difficult task you have in your first two months on campus is to master your Freshman Year Humblebrag. It’s something you won’t hear on your campus tour and there won’t be an infographic about it in your Welcome Packet, but The Fourth Edition is here to teach you how to perfectly craft your unwarrantedly braggadocios sound bites that will propel you from “irrelevant first semester freshman” to “somewhat-irrelevant first semester freshman!”

On a campus where 33% of students are fluent in more than one language, acceptance rates average out to about 16% and some clubs receive hundreds of applications only to admit a class of 3 or 4 lucky allstars, it’s not always easy to stand out among the excellence that is around you. I will always remember hobbling into class my first day with an overfilled backpack, an inappropriately-large bag of half-eaten Baked Lays and a misguided idea that I was going to take over campus in a matter of weeks with the most inflated and undeserved confidence there ever was. Fifteen minutes into my first class, after I had taken 3 pages of notes on my professor’s introduction, I thought I had this in the bag… that was until we went through a circle of introductions and I realized how deep at the bottom of the heap I was.

The girl sitting next to me wasn’t halfway into her story of starting her own environmentally-conscious company before I quickly had to hold down the Baked Lay regurgitation, as I became sickened by my overall inadequacy. Everyone has one of these moments and I’m here now to help you so that you respond promptly with an effective humblebrag to deflect as much as possible.

Here are four prime opportunities to develop your inflated backstory through a series of humblebrags:

1. The Facebook Group Humblebrag: Now, I’m not one to encourage participation in the Facebook group due to the fact that everything you post is read by all members of your incoming class and they will use it as kindling to ignite awkward conversations during New Student Orientation, but if done correctly, the Facebook Group Humblebrag could be extremely effective. With such a captive audience, there’s no better way to get the word out about your accomplishments than a quick brag hidden in language that looks to be sincere.

Examples:

  • “My graduation video came in today and my valedictorian speech was so unfunny! Maybe I should join improv to work on my jokes haha!”
  • I just got back from my extensive volunteer trip in Africa and all of the people I met asked me what a ‘Hoya’ was? LOL I didn’t know how to explain it!”
  • “Did anyone else get an invitation to this exclusive program during NSO that clearly states on the front for ‘exceptionally engaged students’? Or was that just me XD?”
  • “Does anyone know how they evaluated admissions for pre-orientation programs? Seems so hard because we’re all so accomplished! WELL ANYWAY I GOT INTO FOCI!!!
  • “Here is a picture of my schedule. So hard to pick classes when I was still waiting on all of my AP credits to be confirmed. Is 400 level hard?

2. The Admissions Story Humblebrag: This is one of the most effective humblebrag tactics in the game, especially during your first week on campus. Irresponsibly rewriting your admissions story can gain you instant credibility among your peers. There’s nothing more impactful than making someone feel unreasonably inferior to you for getting into the same elite institution that you did.

Examples:

  • “Honestly, my college counselor told me I could really pick from any school I wanted based on my grades and scores. I was like so upset he couldn’t narrow it down!”
  • “I decided to pick a school based on fit. Screw rankings am I right!?”
  • “Telling my parents that I was going to choose Georgetown over a top 10 school was like really hard.” 

3. The College Class Humblebrag: College is hard. You will do well in some classes, but you will also hopelessly struggle in others, especially if you are heavily involved. That’s why people here take academics pretty seriously. There’s no better way to hit someone at their core than by throwing in some creative tales of classroom interactions that are so over-exaggerated that they might just be believable.

Examples:

  • “Could you believe that the class average on our Macro midterm was a 64!? So glad I scraped by with that 85. Do you think that’s curved to an A? A-?
  • “OMG in my Intro to Ethics class, my professor singled my work in front of all 200 kids in the class!? I was so embarrassed.” (Still effective even if he woke you up from your deep slumber in the front row and commented about how detailed your doodles of Aristotle were.)
  • *After you find a stray syllabus of Madeleine Albright’s class on the ground* “Weirdest thing, Madeleine Albright practically BEGGED ME to take her class today.”
  • “He got a 1.4 on RateMyProfessor, but he grades me like so easily. I didn’t even study for the final and got an A!”

4. The Social Humblebrag: There’s more to college than grades and an effective social humblebrag can be quite the boost to your standing in the absolutely meaningless freshman pecking order. This is where you can get really creative. You can literally say the most ridiculously irrelevant statements to add to your credibility.

Examples:

  • “Dude, I don’t even mind the taste of Burnett’s. Like what’s all the hang up about?”
  • *Throws up after 1 Natty Light* Boot and Rally is my life motto. Seriously, it is. Check my Twitter bio.”
  • “It’s so weird. I got into this party of all seniors last night and I didn’t even have a sick ratio! It was just me and the boys.”
  • I made it into (insert prominent Georgetown student’s name here) Insta last night. It was no big deal, but you can see the side of my head right there back on the Vil A rooftop.

5. The Hoya Relative Humblebrag: Please don’t ask me why, but mentioning that you had an older relative that went to Georgetown immediately catapults you to celebrity status amongst your first-year peers. It’s as if that relationship means you are the social sage of your class. Try to leverage that as much as possible. And if you don’t have any family members that went to Georgetown, just say your distant cousin went to school with Bill Clinton like I did!

Example:

  • “When I visited my older sister, we went out to the Rhino, the Cuates and also the Tombs. I’ve been over the bar scene ever since.”
  • “My cousin basically ran this school, but like I want to forge my own path you know? Hypothetically, do you think our relationship will help me get into the Credit Union though?!”
  • “When my dad went here, there was a pub under Healy. I bet he definitely DFMOed with Maria Shriver.”
  • “My brother said that dorm parties are a thing of the past. I hear Brown House is the new spot. Maybe I can get some of you in?

I hope you take this advice to heart and good luck on weaving that one obscure Leadership Conference you attended during your sophomore year of high school into your NSO introduction!

Gifs: tumblr.com; huffingtonpost.com; mtv.com

The Return of drunkengeorgetownstudents.com

There’s evidence of the longstanding battle between Georgetown students and our disgruntled neighbors all over the place – lawn signs and pins reading “Our Homes Not GU’s Dorms”, angry listserv posts about sunbathing students, you name it. Now one of our more outspoken Burleith neighbors has resurrected his blog, “Drunken” Georgetown Students (quotation marks are his, not ours).

Featuring shaky videos of student parties with commentary like “No Snap… no Rocky? What gives?” and “Pigs in a Poke”, drunkengeorgetownstudents.com is run by Stephen R. Brown, a Burleith resident and former American University professor.

Seniors may remember the site from our freshman year, when Brown started taking pictures of parties on his block, and encouraging his fellow Burleith and West Georgetown residents to do the same. He once suggested a photo contest where one of the categories could be “urination” (sounds fun!).

The server hosting the original Drunken Georgetown Students took the site offline because Brown was posting photos of students without their permission, a violation of their Terms of Service. He started things up again on the current version of the site.

Brown wrapped up posting in May 2010, with a goodbye note to the graduating class. But now he’s back, and better than ever. He started things back up this spring with some snarky commentary about the effectiveness of SNAPS, and over the summer and fall has been posting videos of the parties on his block.

After the jump, check out one of his videos, and a few excerpts from the site.

Continue reading “The Return of drunkengeorgetownstudents.com”