A Guide to Participating Without Reading

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We all have a huge course load here at Georgetown, and sometimes it’s impossible to do all the assigned class preparation. When it comes down to sleep, food, hygiene, studying for a midterm or reading, one of them has got to go. Please don’t sacrifice your personal hygiene, and follow these tips to skip the reading without anyone noticing:
1. Listen to the first participants: The professor’s first question is generally, “What do you think?” or “Can someone explain the text?”. Bam! There you go… the summary of Romeo and Juliet in two sentences.
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2. Stare down your professor: Nod your head whenever the professor looks your way and look deeply into his/her eyes. The more uncomfortable the professor feels, the more participation points you earn.
3. Fake it till you make it: Any time the professor asks a question based on outside knowledge eagerly raise your hand and respond. This will keep up the appearance that you know the answers to questions pertaining to the text.
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4. Let the professor participate for you: If the professor asks you a question about the text, draw connections between what was said in class and prior experiences to infer an answer. Keep it short so the professor has to fill in the blanks, and nod to confirm whatever he garnered from your pile of BS.
5. Go beyond the text: Ask clarifying questions which show your desire to reach a deeper understanding of the text. Even though you don’t really know what the text is about, you will seem super philosophical and esoteric.
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6. Use fancy terminology no one else knows to seem smarter: When participating, draw on facts from completely unrelated classes to highlight your ability to integrate knowledge from a range of studies. The best part about using fact from other classes is that none else knows if you’re right. For example, if you are a finance major in an ethics class throw in a reference to  the financial crisis and relate it to the topic at hand. Talk about liquidity, credit, subprime brokers and mortgages. Make sure to say stocks and bonds a few times, no one will  know what your talking about and assume its really complicated.
7. Wear thick rimmed glasses: Wear your glasses if you normally wear contacts. If you have perfect vision, hijack your hipster friend’s non-prescription pair. This will increase your perceived intelligence by ten-fold.
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8. Quote smart people: Quote a famous person even if you have to make up a quote. No one will call you out, as long as you don’t attribute, “Haters gonna hate” to Thomas Jefferson. Quoting a famous person suggests that you read and reading is, of course, something that smart people do.
9. Take notes: When the professor poses a question you don’t know how to answer, just look down to your notebook and furiously write it down. If you forgot your notebook, write on anything that’s available.

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Overall, stay entranced by whatever you are doing at all costs. The professor won’t want to interrupt your train of thought (because you look like you are on the brink of solving the Da Vinci Code) and call on someone else. If these guidelines still aren’t enough to help you get by, you could also always just do the reading.
Photos/Gifs: youtube.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com, reddit.com, idiotbox.com

Win Finals By Saving Money at Moleskine!

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Finals is an extremely stressful time of year for Hoyas. The tests, the papers and the packing… all of these stress related activities make it hard to balance normal life. What else do you lose control of during finals? ALL OF YOUR MONEY.

I’m serious, for some reason I end up spending 2 to 3 times the normal amount during this time of the year. Maybe it is because I am extremely lazy? Maybe it’s because Midnight is so accessible? 4E has tried to decode this out mystery with no such luck. The fact of the matter is that saving money and finals do not mix.

Nonetheless, this finals period we offer you some hope. What if there was some way to have extra money during this hectic time. All your (monetary) problems would be solved! Finals (hopefully) would be a breeze! Oh the joy.

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How you may ask? Simply by visiting the new Moleskine store at 3029 M Street. By showing a valid Georgetown id you can earn 10% off any purchase! That is 10% that you have to spare during the most stressful time of year. #score

If that was not great enough, if you go to the Moleskine store (yes, just go) between Wed. April 29 and Fri. May 1, you will receive a free Moleskine case and be entered into a raffle for a Moleskine Traveler’s Kit. Is there a better present to yourself that fresh to death merchandise fo’ free? (Read: There is not.)

What are all these things?

A Moleskine case is a small, hard case that can hold pens, glasses, jewelry or all other small things!

The colors, the shapes, the possibilities!
The colors, the shapes, the possibilities!

The Traveler’s Kit includes a shoulder bag big enough to hold a tablet, a Travel Passion journal (for all those “notes”) and a Moleskine pen.

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Shoulder Bag
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Travel Passion Journal
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Moleskine Pens

What can you do with this extra money?

1. That extra Sweetgreen salad. You know you want it. But who has that extra $12 to spend? Twelve dollars has never seemed like such a big amount before.

2. Hour-by-Hour coffees. Your caffeine addiction can get super expensive. What if you had the money to imbibe caffeine every hour on the hour? Studying in Lau would be so much better.

3. Some new duds for that last minute formal. Formals = fun. Surprise formals = anxiety. Don’t stress yourself out scouring your closet, go #treatyourself to do something new and cute. You deserve it.

4. Emergency study supplies. Nothing kills you more then when you run out of your favorite legal pad during a major brainstorming sesh for the 20 page paper. Especially when your Go-Card has $0.95 on it. Extra cash will makes those hurried trips to the bookstore less frantic.

5. Your finals celebration! After all the work you have put in over the 2 and 1/2 weeks of finals you need some celebration. Use this extra money for whatever is your guilty pleasure.

Enjoy your extra cash and let’s hope we all get through finals!

 Photos/Gifs: pleated-jeans.com; Moleskine

Noteworthy: How to Spice Up Your Class Notes

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Midterms. They’re here and they’re here to stay. That means it’s time to buckle down and slog through the tons of notes we’ve taken so far. Luckily, there are a few ways you can spice up your notes so that studying isn’t absolutely unbearable.

1. Write “da” instead of “the”. It’s one letter shorter and it’s way cooler, always. For example, “da chain of events”, “da GDP deflator” and “da democratic threshold”.  If you can work “Fo-shizzle” in somewhere you’ve notes will be off da chain.

2. Always use pink highlighter because pink is the happiest color of all time. That is if you can’t get your hands on a pink scented paper. Don’t you think it just adds a little something extra?

3. Use curse words as much as possible. They’re totally out of place when you’re discussing serious or dry topics but we’re all immature so that’s what makes them so funny, especially in a History or English class. If there’s a character or historical figure that really grinds your gears, it’s fun to call them names.

4. Write down all of the questions you were embarrassed to ask in class (or the ones that were just rhetorical jokes for yourself). You can look them up later, ask about them during your professor’s office hours or sometimes they can just provide you with a good laugh. I like to call them my biggest (internal) questions of the day: “there’s a place called Chihuahua?”, “why are all of the words on this continuum sideways?”, “why can’t our eyes turn sideways? That would be awesome!”, “why am I here?”, “where am I?”

5. Smilies are a must. I do happy faces for anything positive and sad faces for anything negative. I also do lots of confused faces: when I’m feeling particularly confuzzled I draw agape frowns with huge eyes. Smilies are nice because they provide a little companionship. Maybe I should invest in some friends.

6. Include professors’ weird anecdotes about their lives. They’re often amusing and they can help you remember topics that you wouldn’t have normally.

7. Draw! Graphs are boring, but not when you draw roller coasters and long-necked dinosaurs onto them. Camels are particularly fun to work into sine graphs on hump day.

8. Action movies are more fun than note-taking so make note-taking more like an action movie! Use words like “Kaboom!” and “Pow!” even if what you’re learning doesn’t warrant that much excitement. Also, all caps reminders with tons of stars are a great way to get your attention later. Toss in some of that pink highlighter I mentioned earlier.

9. Arrows! Lots of them! They can relate topics, draw emphasis, and show cause and effect. There are straight arrows, squiggly arrows, loopy arrows, colored arrows, the possibilities are endless!

The whole idea is to lighten the mood and make you smile at least once while you’re reviewing the Ontological Argument. So don’t worry, be happy, and you’re welcome.