Hoya Horrors on the Hilltop

Things That Terrify HoyasHalloween is upon us! From horror movies to scary costumes, we all seek the thrills and chills that come with the season. Nonetheless, there are a few terrors better left untouched, as these sorts of horrors are, without a doubt, found in every Hoya’s worst nightmares. These nightmares start as early as the moment you receive your dorm assignment, and permeate the lives of Hoyas throughout their time on campus. In honor of Halloween, here’s a list of the most horrible Hoya Horrors:

“It’s like an island out here!”

You’ve gotten through the dreaded CHARMS process and picked your roommate who will obvi be your BFF for the next four years. You choose who’s bringing the decorative posters, who’s got the fridge and whether you’re going to coordinate bedspreads or let each of your creative minds run wild with that decision. Now the only thing left is your dorm assignment. You tear open the dorm assignment letter with only one repeating thought in mind, “Not Darnall, not Darnall, not Darnall.” But it is. You force yourself to look at the words on the page. You see that dreaded dorm printed on the paper and you know this must either be a sick joke or an awful omen.

“But it’s Thursday!”

Thursday and chicken fingers have become as linked on this campus as peanut butter and jelly, Jesuits and cura personalis, 4E and happiness. By now, you’ve gotten established enough in the college life to know that this is the light at the end of the sometimes abysmal Leo’s tunnel. So imagine the panic if Leo’s didn’t serve chicken fingers on Thursday. And let’s not even mention the time when they actually switched the chicken finger brand!

“I got what grade on my test?”

We here at Georgetown tend to live up to our “work hard, play hard” reputation, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s quite heavy on the “work hard” aspect this time of year. Hoya horror number 3? That the all-nighter on Lau 5 with 6 empty cups of espresso and your 11-inch stack of note cards actually didn’t pay off. Don’t worry, Lau goblins, there’s no way this nightmare will come true and a B isn’t the end of the world, as some might think.

“Who even took that picture?!”

Finally! A chance to let loose and escape the throes of midterm season: you head out with your friends on a Saturday night. The next morning, you log onto Facebook to see a picture of you and your DFMO partner up close and personal broadcasted on your newsfeed for the world to see. Untag! Untag! Untag!

“What is this world coming to?”

The customs and traditions infused in the daily life of a Hoya are the aspects of Georgetown life that make it so meaningful and special for its students. Could you imagine if these traditions were disposed of or violated? What if we lost our late-night eatery or could no longer hang out with our mascot whom we watched grow as a puppy? Oh wait … R.I.P. Tuscany. I miss you J.J.

With all of these frightening possibilities creeping into our lives on the Hilltop, I see why we instead turn our attention to horror movies and haunted houses as distractions. Happy Halloween, Hoyas! And remember, the Exorcist steps aren’t the only place you might run into a nightmare around here.

Photo: Panoptikal, UMN.edu

In a Word: Midterms

in a word

At Georgetown, there is truly no midterm “season”.  Midterms seem to stretch from the first week of October until almost Thanksgiving, which can be bewildering and frustrating.  I figured now is as good of a time as any, right in the heart of mid-term season, to find out what Georgetown students really think about mid-terms.

I asked, and you delivered.  In the form of one word responses, here are Hoyas’ true feelings about Georgetown’s midterm season.

The Overwhelmed

The most common word sent in by everyone was “stressful” (or, in two cases, “stress”).  Next most popular? “Death”.  These are the “I have two midterms in all five classes between October and November” people … or anyone in Orgo.  Sorry guys.

The Challenged

Not surprisingly, “hard” came up a lot.  That was the first word that came to my mind.  Midterms are, plain and simple, challenging. Of course, the point of going to a high-level university is to be challenged, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get a little upset over the extra struggle.

The Un-phased

I like to pretend to be this person, but generally anyone who claims to be un-phased by midterms is lying.  Or a jerk.  I’m actually really happy for the people that were able to answer “fine,” “fun,” “overrated” and even “enlightening”.  Just slightly bitter.

The Miserable

These are the people who spend more hours in a week on Lau 5 than they do in their bed.  Generally, it is more of a “short burst” of work for these students, but the description “hell” was one of our top submissions, and “struggle” and “strugglebus” both made it up quite a few times.

The Tired

I mean, this is basically everyone at this point.  You get through three midterms in one week, and celebrate.  Then you check your upcoming assignments and proceed to a) cry, b) curl up into a ball, c) yell, or d) do all of the above.  “Tiring”, “Never-ending”, “endless”, “perpetual” and “tolling” all were submitted multiple times.  I mean, they will end eventually.  It might just be 20 degrees colder by the time they do.

Hang in there Hoyas; you can do it! It does get better! Now, if you excuse me, I have some studying to go do.

Georgetown Fall Epidemics: Weather, Fashion and Other Horrific Plagues

Fall EpidemicsIt’s that time of the year again, Hoyas: Georgetown is being plagued by the autumn and fall epidemics of every sort are spreading like Chicken Finger Thursday madness, and there isn’t anything we can do to stop them. I have nobly taken it upon myself to guide you through this insanity with some survival tips! I’ve compiled a list of the top four worst epidemics, so let’s go through them together and hopefully make it out alive:

Fall Weather Epidemic The winds are changing – literally. If you haven’t noticed the drastic difference in weather, look up: Between the dark, looming clouds, the chilled winds and that week of incessant rain that pounded the Hilltop (although that could have easily been the birds and insects crying over D.C., lamenting the government shutdown), it’s clear that D.C. weather has arrived. The weather may have been nice today, but don’t be fooled! D.C. Fall Weather Epidemic comes and goes faster than you can say, “Oh, look! The catastrophic rain stopped!” Just know that surviving these fall weather disasters is all about mindset. Be confident in your sweaters and umbrellas, move quickly when outdoors and don’t let that hurricane-level wind tunnel between Healy and Copley knock you down!

October Midterm Epidemic When your friends at other universities ask you when you have midterms and you reply, “forever,” you know that you’re caught up in the October Midterm Epidemic. Here at Georgetown, we don’t really have “midterm season”. Midterms begin at the beginning of October and continue until finals start. Unfortunately, every Hoya must trudge through weeks of studying, writing and testing until their fingers are bruised from typing, their notebooks are ruined by the tears and their pencils and spirits have broken. But, wait, there’s hope! Surviving midterms is difficult if you make it difficult. Keep calm, study early and don’t get caught on Lau 2 at 3 a.m. talking about all the work you need to do but aren’t doing.

The Flu Epidemic You didn’t think I would forget about actual epidemics, did you? I know as well as you do that the flu is not a game, but if it were we would all lose. In the middle of the October Midterm Epidemic, the Flu Epidemic would surely destroy us all. Nobody looks forward to taking their midterms or stays up all night studying with a smile on their face, so imagine how unproductive we would be with the flu on top of everything else! In order to skirt this terrible epidemic, stay on top of your health game. Also, make sure you drop by Yates on Oct. 22nd, Oct. 30th, Nov. 7th, Nov. 13th, or Nov. 19th at the designated hours to get your free vaccination – holla!

Georgetown Fall Fashion Epidemic Goodbye to Nantucket Red, hello thrift store flannel (Blog editor Lindsay Lee is rejoicing)! Because of this epidemic, every Hoya and their Jesuit father will start swapping their flashy summer garb for something more suitable for the temperature. To survive, blend in with the crowd: say goodbye to your favorite pair of shorts and cover those gams with something a bit warmer. Maybe dust off that winter coat you never unpacked from your move-in day luggage bag. But, here’s my favorite tip: it’s officially in-style to dress for comfort, which means comfy pajamas (my specialty), over-sized scarves and ugly sweaters are a go! However, make sure to avoid peacoats and artisan woolen socks: these are tell-tale signs that you are doing too much and need to do less … or you will face being sucked in to the epidemic.

That’s all of the epidemics for now! If you see me out there owning these epidemics, I’ll be the sleep-starved, brain-fried one in flannel pajamas finally done with his midterms crying over his flu shot and avoiding the outdoor weather at all costs. Hopefully, I’ll see you surviving as well! Keep calm and good luck!

Noteworthy: How to Spice Up Your Class Notes

spice up

Midterms. They’re here and they’re here to stay. That means it’s time to buckle down and slog through the tons of notes we’ve taken so far. Luckily, there are a few ways you can spice up your notes so that studying isn’t absolutely unbearable.

1. Write “da” instead of “the”. It’s one letter shorter and it’s way cooler, always. For example, “da chain of events”, “da GDP deflator” and “da democratic threshold”.  If you can work “Fo-shizzle” in somewhere you’ve notes will be off da chain.

2. Always use pink highlighter because pink is the happiest color of all time. That is if you can’t get your hands on a pink scented paper. Don’t you think it just adds a little something extra?

3. Use curse words as much as possible. They’re totally out of place when you’re discussing serious or dry topics but we’re all immature so that’s what makes them so funny, especially in a History or English class. If there’s a character or historical figure that really grinds your gears, it’s fun to call them names.

4. Write down all of the questions you were embarrassed to ask in class (or the ones that were just rhetorical jokes for yourself). You can look them up later, ask about them during your professor’s office hours or sometimes they can just provide you with a good laugh. I like to call them my biggest (internal) questions of the day: “there’s a place called Chihuahua?”, “why are all of the words on this continuum sideways?”, “why can’t our eyes turn sideways? That would be awesome!”, “why am I here?”, “where am I?”

5. Smilies are a must. I do happy faces for anything positive and sad faces for anything negative. I also do lots of confused faces: when I’m feeling particularly confuzzled I draw agape frowns with huge eyes. Smilies are nice because they provide a little companionship. Maybe I should invest in some friends.

6. Include professors’ weird anecdotes about their lives. They’re often amusing and they can help you remember topics that you wouldn’t have normally.

7. Draw! Graphs are boring, but not when you draw roller coasters and long-necked dinosaurs onto them. Camels are particularly fun to work into sine graphs on hump day.

8. Action movies are more fun than note-taking so make note-taking more like an action movie! Use words like “Kaboom!” and “Pow!” even if what you’re learning doesn’t warrant that much excitement. Also, all caps reminders with tons of stars are a great way to get your attention later. Toss in some of that pink highlighter I mentioned earlier.

9. Arrows! Lots of them! They can relate topics, draw emphasis, and show cause and effect. There are straight arrows, squiggly arrows, loopy arrows, colored arrows, the possibilities are endless!

The whole idea is to lighten the mood and make you smile at least once while you’re reviewing the Ontological Argument. So don’t worry, be happy, and you’re welcome.

Top Five ‘Secret’ Study Places


We’re reaching that time of the semester where that abominable wave of midterms begins. While we can all agree that this can be a very dreadful time for us Hoyas, we can at least agree that there are a few factors we can use to get us through these dark times: sleep (or not), Red Bull, sticky notes and a reliable study place. No, I’m not talking about Lau or Regents: I’m talking about “super-secret” study places where you can actually find seats.

New South Piano Rooms Head over to the couple of piano rooms provided in New South toward the Riverside Lounge. Four walls, a piano and a table will surround you. Internet connection is scarce. However, if Internet is not required for your studying, then it’s perfect. (Yeah, that’s right, Facebookers: can’t avoid your work now!) I suggest only going there in the late hours of 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. because these rooms are highly demanded by people who actually need the pianos!

Leo’s Though not exactly a secret, try heading over to Leo’s from around 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. You’ll find that, while there aren’t many food options, there aren’t many people around, and it’s a great place to study and take snack breaks. Do take caution in trying to study during rush hours (i.e. dinner time and peak lunch time), for you will get absolutely nothing done and people will stare at you for being a loner at the dining hall. But have confidence! No shame in eating alone.

ICC At almost any time of the day, ICC has many open classrooms. Walk around the halls for a bit and find an empty classroom. To avoid getting kicked out or having to leave because of a class, try going in the evening. If you can secure a class, you have a whole room to yourself! Not to mention, you have a chalkboard (with chalk) to write out vocabulary or equations.

Law School Library Plan to take a shuttle to the GU Law Center library. It’s about a 15-minute ride, but it’s worth it! It might be best to plan a whole day or afternoon around this so that you can make the most of your trip. What are the benefits? Well, first off, you’ll meet a refreshing environment away from Main Campus, and you’ll get the chance to study in a far more lavish and prettier library than Lau! Also, the ride through D.C. is quite scenic.

Your Dorm Haha, just kidding. But actually, your dorm can be a great place to study if you use it correctly. A lot of us spend most of our days out of our dorms, and it can sometimes be nice to just do your work in your own space. Plan a day where your roommate might be busy, get in your PJs and just get some work done. Of course, if you do this too often, you’ll get marginal returns of productivity, so use this study setting sparingly.

Well, that’s about it. If you have any cooler secret study places, let us know! Or maybe just keep it your little secret. Good luck studying, Hoyas!

Courses that Cause Copulation: Which Majors Have the Most Sex?

Do you like numbers and money? Are you currently scouting internships with Goldman Sachs and McKinsey? Did you spend the last week stressing out about demand curves, trade policies or externalities? If so, apparently you’re also quite sexually active! Congrats! And where do you find the time?

According to studentbeans.com’s University Sex League, econ majors have more sex partners in college than any other major. A study released last week shows that finance nerds get wacky in the sacky the most with an average of 4.88 sexual partners since starting university.

Following close behind with an average of 4.7 sexual partners are social work, community care, and counseling majors. (How does that work? Give people advice and then unbutton their pants?) With an average of 4.57 sexual partners are marketing majors. This makes more sense: what better way to learn marketing than promoting your body?

And hospitality majors with 4.56 sexual partners seem to be lagging a bit in fourth place. They have hotel rooms at their disposal — frankly, they should be doing more.

With a disappointing 1.71 sexual partners are environmental science majors in last place — below even math majors and prospective engineers. I’m hoping that reducing the size of our carbon footprint is inhibiting their dopamine receptors (not sure what other excuse they have for being prude).

What I think we can take from these results is that even the highest major averages a relatively small number of sexual partners. What’s up with college student these days? Are these not supposed to be the years of experimentation and poor judgment? Soon we will all be tied down and must conform to the norm of monogamy. But now is the time to let loose. Eh, maybe once midterms are over.

Surviving Midterms

Midterms. One word that hardly anyone ever wants to hear. It’s hard to believe that we’ve already made it halfway through the semester. Now that the excitement of Homecoming is over and the adjusting weeks have passed, it’s time to get back into the swing of, well, academic things.

But before we all start to panic with one glance at our jammed-packed calendars, let’s try to de-stress and prepare for the upcoming weeks. Here are some simple tips to help you stay on top of your game and to avoid over-stressing:

1. Relax. Yes, I know. Easier said than done. But think about it…will one test truly define your life? Though all the hours at Lau and the good amount of Flex Dollars spent at Midnight Mug will help your cause, sometimes its good to just sit back and take a deep breathe.

2. Take breaks. It’s impossible to study for too long. Go for a run to the monuments, watch that episode of Modern Family that you missed, eat dinner at Leo’s with some friends — anything that can get your mind off your work for at least a half hour. Sometimes taking the time to not study is just as important.

3. Make plans. It’s easy to get caught up in all of the midterm craziness but think about it. Midnight Madness is coming up, Parent’s Weekend, basketball season (!!) By taking the time to think about all the good, exciting things to come, the motivation to focus and get through the week will be even greater.

4. Keep working on your fitness. Exercise can be very beneficial, especially during midterms. By running on the treadmill, sweating it out in a spin class, or even just taking a brisk walk down M Street, you will feel more energized and ready to do your work.

5. Stay organized. Create a schedule for yourself so that you don’t fall behind and/or freak out! Keep that planner up to date and decide what days/times are best to complete your work. By budgeting your time effectively, you will be able to better monitor your stress.

6. Naps on Naps on Naps. A 20 minute nap is actually the best thing you can do for your body. If you find yourself being pushed into that all nighter, set your alarm and take a quick power nap. It will re-energize you and also keep you from pulling your hair out at 4 am. Be careful, though. Any more time than 20 minutes is not good and can actually make you even more exhausted.

7. Reward yourself. You’ve made it! Treat yourself generously after midterms are finally over. I’m going to suggest taking the walk to M for some Pinkberry. You deserve it.

Happy studying, Hoyas! Remember…we will all survive. 

Friday Fixat10ns: Youth Knows No Pain

by Beth Garbitelli

Youth Knows No Pain from ecgarbi on 8tracks.

Weather has been abysmal, we lost to ‘Cuse in OT and people are still hating on our campus plan. Oh and midterms. Shake it off. We’ve got one thing on our side — time. Youth ain’t wasted on the young. Unleash your inner M.I.A and get your swagger back with this mix.

Youth Knows No Pain – Lykke Li Forget angst. Being young is the ultimate trump card as songstress Lykke Li has already figured out.

Golden Years – David Bowie As Mr. Bowie proclaims, ‘nothing’s gonna touch you in these golden years.’ Kudos if you know what movie this song is featured in.

School Spirit – Kayne West Healthiest ego in showbiz right here, everybody.  Kanye is a take “everything 10 steps at a time LOL!” type of guy. Just follow his example. Yep, that’s a direct quote from his Twitter.

Up, Up, And Away – Kid Cudi I can attest that this song is the best wake-up-and-walk-to-public-transportation song ever. To complete the picture strut confidently, sip a coffee beverage. and ignore/skip Cudi’s weird talking part at the end about the ‘man in the moon.’

Don’t Stop Me Now –  Queen Freddie Mercury! The man OWNS this song.

Call It What You Want – Foster the People ‘But what I’ve got can’t be bought’. That’s called swagger. Okay, random aside- this song’s reference to knives disturbs me, which reminds me of the lyrics about shooting kids in their song Pumped Up Kicks. So….yeah FTP, why are you telling people they better run faster than your bullets? A little creepy. Actually, a lot creepy.

Heart Of The City – Jay-Z Just, this whole song. ‘Sensitive thugs, ya’ll need hugs.’ That is all.

I Can’t Get Next To You – The Temptations In honesty, this song is about not being able to get that ONE thing you really want. It’s about being incomplete. But, all that aside, these dudes don’t seem to have an ego problem as evidenced by some of their claims. Its a good message to end on; listen to all these ego-boosting jams but maybe you can’t always get everything you want. You can still turn a green sky blue though.