March Madness Advice

It’s official: March Madness is upon us. I’m told by some alumni that there was once a time when the Georgetown basketball team was part of this tournament, but much like the stories of the days when students allegedly “went to games” and “could name a player on the team,” I’m pretty sure this is just a rumor. Regardless, we here at 4E (AKA the ~real~ sports section of The Hoya) have come up with some helpful advice for building that perfect bracket.

When you see that Syracuse somehow made it in

Consider Picking Schools That Have Jack-Like Mascots

The real tragedy of us missing the tournament is that the world will be deprived of seeing our beloved Jack the Bulldog ride his skateboard or drive his car around the court. But luckily, March Madness will still have some canine representation. Here are some possible picks you should consider based on their potential for adorableness:

Gonzaga Bulldogs:

Their “dog” is named Spike. It’s just a guy in a suit. No actual dog. Disappointing. 2/10.

Butler Bulldogs:

Their dog is named Blue. He’s no Jack, but at least he’s an actual dog. Overall, pretty cute. Nice smile. Would definitely pet. 7/10.

UMBC (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) Retrievers:

The dog is named “True Grit”. Creative choice. Unclear if the mascot is “officially” just a guy in a suit, but according to Google Images, they seem to frequently have a plethora of live retrievers present at many events. I endorse this. Reminds me of Air Bud. 9/10.

      

 

Stay Away From the Big East

As many of you may know, many of the other teams in the Big East were very mean to the Hoyas this season. They often (very rudely) chose to score a lot of points and also frequently prevented us from scoring some points of our own. Very inconsiderate! Karma will not be kind to them in the tournament — stay away!

When someone says Villanova is going to win it all this year

Also, Providence has this horrifying mascot. We can’t pick them knowing this thing will be there.

It’s gonna be a no for me, dawg

Remember Your Jesuit Values

The Arizona State Sun Devils? The Duke Blue Devils? Not today, Satan! These squads are clearly trying to tempt you into straying from your Jesuit values. March Madness is no time for such sinful endeavors, my fellow men and women for others. We suggest you play it safe and stick with the Penn Quakers — based on what little information I remember from my sixth-grade social studies class  my extensive research, Quakers and Jesuits are essentially the same thing.

Also, remember that Penn once kindly took Ivanka off our hands, further proving their charitable nature (#NotMyFirstDaughter #WhyIsGeorgetownAssociatedWithSoManyTrumpChildren #TiffanyActuallySeemsOkThough). With all this in mind, Penn is pretty much a surefire pick for the Final Four.

When God sees you filling out your bracket

Don’t Pick Michigan State.

This one may seem both arbitrary and contrary to popular opinion, but remember this: current star player and probable future lottery pick Jaren Jackson Jr. chose Michigan State over Georgetown. Yes, way back in 2016, the highly touted recruit included Georgetown among his final five school choices and then somehow didn’t pick us. Wyd Jaren?? Didn’t the tour guides tell you about new Leo’s? Were you not impressed by Lau? Did the rats scare you off??

Whatever the reason, to quote the internship rejection emails I keep getting, we’ve unfortunately “decided to go in a different direction” on this one and cannot recommend that our readers pick Michigan State. And if you’re reading this, Jaren Jackson Jr., please consider forgoing your lucrative NBA career in favor of transferring to the Hilltop next year. Patrick Ewing is really cool and some students will probably show up at a home game at some point. Also, we have a Chick-Fil-A now!

Bet you thought all my advice was going to be based solely on mascots, didn’t you? #insightful

And finally….

Do Not Pick Syracuse

Enough said.

We hope you have fun this month, and remember: next year will be better! We look forward to seeing you all at the Arena Formerly Known as the Verizon Center for the one game you’ll attend before leaving early to go to Rocket Bar.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, pinterest.com, golfdigest.com, kentuckysportsradio.com

Georgetown Reacts to the Ferguson Ruling

ferguson

On Nov. 24, a grand jury decided not to indict Ferguson, Mo. police officer Darren Wilson for his August shooting of unarmed teenager Michael Brown. St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Bob McCulloch announced the decision in a press conference around 9:20 p.m. that Wilson will not face criminal charges of any kind.

Despite urges from Missouri Governor Jay Nixon and President Barack Obama for people not to protest, Ferguson erupted with riots, invoking a police response of smoke and tear gas in an attempt to clear the protesters. In D.C., people marched from U Street to the White House. Georgetown students, who have previously travelled to Ferguson and marched in the streets, and professors, who have led conversations among the campus community about the shooting, responded on Twitter to the decision.

Professor Responses

Sociology professor Michael Eric Dyson drew national attention on Sunday for his debate with former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani about race relations and police brutality on “Meet the Press.” Dyson challenged Giuliani’s criticism of the protests about the shooting of Brown. Giuliani claimed that there was not as much focus on black-on-black crime, to which Dyson responded, “Black people who kill black people go to jail. White people who are policemen who kill black people do not go to jail.”

Dr. Marcia Chatelain

Dr. Marcia Chatelain is an assistant professor in the department of history. She started the hashtag, #FergusonSyllabus as a way of getting people to share information, articles and resources that related to the societal issues surrounding the Ferguson protests.

Student Responses

https://twitter.com/YupitsTate/status/537070684996788224

https://twitter.com/crookedcrown_/status/537069393604509696

The Weird, Wonderful Holidays of March

Weird HolidazeMarch is a month of many important holidays: Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day and the classic “One Month Before Georgetown Day” Day. (Does anyone else celebrate that? Only me? Okay.)

But let’s not forget that there are other equally important days to celebrate in March. Some of them have already passed (Monday was “If Pets Had Thumbs Day,” for all of you with pets and active imaginations.). Don’t worry, though — here’s a quick rundown of some less traditional holidays that are coming up.

March 6: National Frozen Food Day

Maybe you’re out of Leo’s swipes. Maybe you’re in a hurry and can’t cook. Maybe you’re lazy. Either way, frozen food always has your back when you’re in a pinch, and March 6 is the perfect day to celebrate your friendship with the freezer.

March 8: Be Nasty Day

This is the day to get in touch with your nastier self, and you can interpret that however you want. (Does that mean in terms of cleanliness? We hope not.)

March 15: Everything You Think Is Wrong Day

Everything you think is wrong …

March 16: Everything You Do Is Right Day

… But everything you do is right! Keep it up!

March 19: Poultry Day

Where would we be without poultry? I ask myself this question constantly, and on this day, you can too. Bonus: This is a day that Leo’s has been unintentionally and successfully celebrating every year!

March 25: Waffle Day

Celebrate this day by making yourself a waffle at Leo’s. Go crazy with the Nutella! Throw some fruit on top! There is no wrong way to eat a waffle.

So there you have it — a few of the less celebrated holidays of March. Grab some of your friends and celebrate! Who knows, maybe you’ll start a new tradition. Remember, everything you do is right (at least with us)!

Photos: collegehumor.com, mrsbarcliftslivelyladybugs.blogspot.com; Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com, mainstreethost.com

Springtime Weather Woes: The REAL Madness of March

Springtime weather

Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. In case, you’ve no place to go… HOLD ON! It’s springtime, right?!

If you think the weather has been a bit weird lately, you aren’t alone. According to the Capital Weather Gang at The Washington Post, March 2013 was (on average) 13 degrees cooler than March 2012. In fact, it was the 59th coldest March in DC on record since 1871 and the second coldest March since 2000.

Throughout the month, scientists recorded an average temperature anomaly of three degrees Fahrenheit on the cold side. The month was so cold that the highest temperature of the month was only 63 degrees– the first time March did not have a high temperature of 70 degrees or higher since 2001.

Although last March was also one of the driest March months on record, when it did precipitate, the cold temperatures were especially conducive to snow. Dulles Airport set two separate snow records (3.3 and 3.2 inches on March 6 and 25, respectively) and Reagan Airport bolstered the highest snowfall measurements since 1990.

According to WaPo meteorologists, the weird March weather was caused by “a powerful atmospheric ‘blocking’ pattern that formed over northern latitudes over the course of the month. As a result, cold air was released into typically warmer areas, including North America and Europe.

However, the blocking pattern is no reason to get your knickers in a bunch. As of right now, the blocking pattern is currently breaking, and as a result, the National Weather Service has predicted a warmer-than usual April. And you know what that means, Hoyas.

In conclusion: IT’S BEEN COLD AND WE’RE SICK OF IT. THE SUN IS ON ITS WAY. HAPPY APRIL!