The Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret

We all at some point in our college careers, whether once or twice, or every week, experience the Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret. Here at 4E, we put together a step by step guide, complete with informational gifs, to help you better understand your fluctuating feelings of  weekend regret.

1. Sunday: Self-disgust

You wake up Sunday morning feeling crusty and like absolute trash. Your brain is in a haze and you enter a period of self-loathing and overall unproductivity. The two reliable constants of the day are the constant pounding in your head and your repeated mutterings of “Why did I take that last tequila shot?”

2. Monday: Mild Productivity

You may feel some twangs of post-hangover and regret, but you can get some work done. You attend classes and begin to look at assignments but you’re not 100 percent yourself yet.

3. Tuesday: Totally You

You’re feeling yourself. You’re getting work done, feeling on top of your game. This is the upward swing, the peak of the week. You might even be contemplating going to yoga and starting a juice cleanse.

4. Wednesday: Willpower Waning

It’s Hump Day! The week seems to stretch on forever. A couple of your girlfriends are having a wine night. One glass won’t hurt, right? You only have a 9 a.m. But no, you hold out until at least Thursday.

5. Thursday: Thirsty Thoughts

The week sucked. You got a C on that paper you thought you killed. Your roommate broke your blender and now all you want to do is cool off and have a beer. You casually sip on one brewsky because you’re not in the MSB and you have class on Friday.

6. Friday: Freedom

The week is over! You can’t wait to get drinks with friends before heading out for a night of dancing. You can’t even remember your regrets from last Sunday. Who was that loser? Let’s take a shot!

7. Saturday: Sipping Something

This morning you woke up with a hangover, but it’s okay. You’re sleeping until noon, going to brunch, then planning on going out to that new bar anyways. You’ll just sip the hangover away. This is when you enter peak denial phase, as you try to reason away that 10-page paper you have to wake up tomorrow and write!


Sunday: and repeat.


Disclaimer: The seven stages were created based on expert advice from 21-year-old, very legal friends.

Images/gifs: giphy.com, greatist.com

An Ode to Leo’s Brunch

an ode to leos brunch

At 4E, Leo’s brunch has a special place in our hearts. So in honor of our love for this special occasion, here is an Ode to Leo’s Brunch.

A whistle blows outside the window,
Sun streams over my eyes.
Good God, is it noon already?
Well, I guess that’s no surprise.

The morning pat down commences.
iPhone, wallet, GoCard? I’m clear.
“Wait, this is Harbin 7, right?”
— Confirmed; roommates’ snores are near.

Roomie, we’ve gotta get up, I say;
Another Sunday has come to scare.
“I must go to Lau!” she cries suddenly!
I laugh and reply, “Don’t you dare.”

It’s time for brunch, I remind her,
Visions of tater tots dancing in my head.
“C’mon, the group chat’s blowing up!
Off to Leo’s; get out of bed!”

A familiar odor greets us,
as we saunter through O’Donovan’s door.
There’s that familiar look Suru gives us;
it screams “You look like you slept on the floor.”

Jeez, I just burped up Burnett’s, I lament;
cold water is what I need.
But the line for food reaches the staircase!
Patiently, we wait; it is our creed.

Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and tots! Oh my!
Surely we don’t deserve this feast.
The digits of my tuition bill pop into my brain;
seconds are necessary, at the very least.

The Sunday sermon commences, as Saturday night is sewn together.
“You did WHAT?” is the typical cry.
“No, I swear, check her Story. You can’t make this sh*t up.”
“Wait, I DEFINITELY know that guy!”

There are laughs, there are screams, there are guffaws about;
the muffled chair-scrapes signal plates refilled.
“Oh God, it’s 2:00,” one friend sighs to me,
And with that, the mood has been killed.

We decidedly tread home, successful troops;
mission accomplished without a doubt.
Reality hits, and sadly, we separate;
Off to Lau, my conscience shouts.

Another weekend, come and gone;
Monday looms; academics are near.
But at least we have Sunday Leo’s, and the friends who make it great;
until next time, lest other options appear.

Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2e2oGEM