7 Memes That Describe Yates

It’s that time of year again. Midterms are hitting hard, and one of the few ways Hoyas can compensate for late nights and hair-pulling study sessions is food. Greasy, delicious food. But after exams end and Late-Night Dominos Regret (LNDR™) kicks in, where does one turn?

For most NARPs, Yates Field House is the place where dignity and self-respect body insecurities go to die. For better or worse, here are some memes that describe the distinct pleasure known as working out at Yates:

1. Why? (WHY?!)

If you’ve felt an obligation to visit Georgetown’s finest plebeian fitness center (see #6), good for you. You are a health-conscious and tuition-paying (i.e. breathing) member of the Georgetown community! Whereas at most institutions of higher education students get to choose whether to belong to a gym, we Hoyas have that decision made for us by good old ~cura personalis~.(Side Note: Does this mean that if I gain the Freshman Fifteen I can get my money back?)

2.  Getting There

As if we didn’t have enough sets of stairs to deal with (see: Leavey, WGR, Lau, etc.), the stairs on the way to our gym are basically a 90-degree angle. If you make it over these steps, congratulations! The battle is already won. Be sure to let us know what it’s like on the other side.

Pro Tip: A really great way to get your workout in is by forgetting all of your things (water bottle, keys, headphones, etc.) in your dorm and running up the Yates steps every time before turning around and going back for more.

3. The Debauchery Dilemma

We at 4E are familiar with debauchery. As world-class bloggers, an “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures” is essential to our craft. Like many Hoyas, we struggle with that classic Saturday or Sunday morning (or whenever #youdoyou) question: to work out, or not to work out?

4. Motivation

Sometimes you just have to take the E for effort. Unlike everything else in our lives, we Hoyas are not bound by any standards when it comes to physical fitness (unless, of course, you are a ~varsity~ athlete). Thus, “workouts” at Yates are often consolidated with procrastination/free time, and end up looking a little something like this:

5. The Best People You Will Ever Meet

We Hoyas are a talented bunch. Many of us demonstrated both academic and athletic excellence in high school, and probably wrote a generic, yet moving story for our application about overcoming a sports injury that somehow earned us admission to a top college. Well, friends, high school is over!

Your athletic trophies are getting dusty, and it’s time to face the music: You are just like everyone elseFeel free to continue wearing your old lax jersey while getting #swole with your boys, but just know that we actually don’t care.

6. Georgetown Doesn’t Favor Athl–

When stepping onto campus this fall, many of you probably wondered, “What is that beautiful castle new building on the other side of Southwest Quad?” Now, there have been rumors that it’s a ~Georgetown-Athletics-Only~ gym, but according to inside sources, here’s the actual story – the John R. Thompson Jr. Intercollegiate Athletic Center is actually a warehouse-sized laboratory where coaches raise athletes from birth to win NCAA championships. For protocol on how to greet these wondrous students should they ever grace Yates with their presence, see here.

7. #hoyaspartysmart

Hoyas like to keep fit. When special events roll around, we don’t just drop our self-care responsibilities and let ourselves go. Come Homecoming and Georgetown Day, you can find us (in the immortal words of Fergie) “up in the gym, working on [our] fitness.”

Girl, you tasty. But maybe bring some water with you too, just in case.

Just remember: Hate On Yates Always! Go Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs/Content: giphy.com, dictionary.com, facebook.com (georgetown memes for non-conforming jesuit teens)

The New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Keep

It is that time of the year again. A time of new beginnings, new memories, new laughs, and, most importantly, new resolutions. With each new year comes a new set of promises we Hoyas make to ourselves to make this coming year even better than the last. The thing is, however, we know we probably will not keep them. Here are some New Year’s resolutions you probably made to yourself that you know won’t make it to 2018.

I am going to eat healthy and go to Yates every day.

You get home for Christmas break and weigh yourself for the first time since August. You subsequently endure the 5 Stages of Grief. You promise yourself to live a ~healthy lifestyle~ in the spring semester. Three weeks into January you find yourself sitting in front of a plate of chicken fingers on a Thursday with no recollection of the last time you made it to the gym but also with no ragrets.

“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.”

I will not drink Natty Lite or Burnett’s. 

After spending some time at home and drinking some classy wine and craft beer with your family (if you are 21 of course) you decide you are just too good for Natty and Burnett’s. I mean, what are you, a peasant? But, when you return to the Hilltop and take a look at the balance in your bank account you remember that you are indeed a peasant and quickly return to everyone’s drink of choice–whatever is cheapest.

I will do the readings for all my classes.

You coasted through the fall semester without doing the majority of the readings for the majority of your classes convinced you were gonna ace the class only to find a not so pleasant surprise on your final grade report. You think, “I probably should have done all those readings,” and you promise yourself this semester will be different. That is until you have to read 300 pages for tomorrow and its 11 pm all you have accomplished is taking one buzzed quick to find out what character from The Office you are based on your zodiac sign.

I am going to spend less money. 

Last semester you spent a little more than you should have, but this semester that is going to change. Who needs to eat out when you have Leo’s? Who needs to Uber when you can walk? Who needs Corona when you can have Natty? Oh wait…you do.

In all honesty, 4E wishes you all the best with your New Year’s resolutions. Lord knows we all need it.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Thoughts You Have at Yates

Banner - Yates ThoughtsThe gym is where champions are made. So while I spend half my day stuffing my face and an eighth burning a few calories at Yates, I have learned a couple of things. Shall we begin? Here are thoughts we all have at Yates:

  1. The walk from the stairs down to our machine/gym spot is probably the most intimidating part of the whole experience…or the best depending on the kind of person you are. If you’re a person who appreciates strutting what you got, then honestly, good for you. But if you’re not, then you probably have your heart rate up quicker than you would in the middle of an actual workout.

2. Five minutes into your workout. Here we go. You’re good. It’s all good. You think you’re blending in. You can totally do this once a week. Definitely.

3. Twenty minutes into your workout and you actually think you’re dying. These girls/boys aren’t looking at you because you look good. They’re worried that you might faint. Someone grab a towel because you’re sweating a fountain.

4. You see that cute girl/guy walk in–and you suddenly start rippin’ the reps.

5. And now you’re staring. Praying they don’t see you.

5. You think you should branch out this gym sesh. Try something new. Yeah! You adjust the new machine, hoping you don’t look something like this:

or this:

6. Most important to address: how you think you look

How you actually look:

7. But at the end of the day, you should be proud that you got yourself there. :’)

 

And there you have it, folks. Keep liftin’.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, recreation.georgetown.edu

Feel the Burn: Definitions DC Gives You Your Money’s Worth

Definitions

While we Hoyas have access to the lovely Yates and all the classes it has to offer, sometimes you just want to get off campus and work out somewhere else. But where?

Definitions Personal Trainers’ Gym, located inside 1050 Thomas Jefferson St. NW (right next to Baked and Wired, for all interested parties), is an intimate space where everyone knows your name. Many of the customers are regulars who, under the training and tutelage of the motivating staff, have come to love the early-morning workouts and personal training opportunities.

definitionsoutside
At first it was confusing to find Definitions, but we were told that it’s kept highly secure because of the many important guests visiting the building. #JustDCProblems

 

I attended the 8:30 a.m. Saturday class, Metabolic Resistance Training, with my friend Michelle (thank you Michelle for agreeing to get up early and work out with me). Now, in the past, we were not fitness slouches – we’ve both run half-marathons, for instance. But as we progressed through college, we may not have retained the same level of fitness that we had when we were regularly training. At any rate, we had no idea what we were getting into.

Luckily, the Definitions staff is extremely patient and helpful. Our class was taught by DeShay Williams, who patiently guided Michelle and me, as well as the other people in the class, through a series of workouts, from kettlebell burpees to Bosu ball planks (side note: I was unaware of all of these terms until this class, except for “planks”). Each workout was timed such that there would be 45 seconds of agonizing exercise and 15 seconds of blissful break. The repetition was grueling, but DeShay and likely any other teachers of this class were more than helpful: whether pumping up the volume on the awesome Spotify playlist (Madonna goes really well with Usher, it turns out) or fixing my posture during dumbbell snatches, she made sure everyone was getting a safe but physically taxing 50-minute workout.

The gym has a variety of equipment in a relatively smaller space – any machine you’d want is available, but you don’t feel overwhelmed when you walk in. Classes are also kept small, with a cap of 12 people.

definitionsclassroom
With rubber reinforced flooring, this room is used for group training classes.
The main room of the boutique fitness center.
The main room of the boutique fitness center.

 

The locker rooms were well-accommodated, and there was a large supply of fresh towels and cold water, which Michelle and I took advantage of liberally during our experience. (By the end of the class, I was sweating so much that I took the walk back to campus wearing shorts. This is the only acceptable reason to wear shorts in the wintertime!)

All in all, for people who want to get in shape, Definitions is certainly a great alternative to Yates. While extremely tired and sore, Michelle and I agreed that there was no way someone could regularly attend the class and not be fit. The running student discount is 25% off – the cost of one class alone is $24, or a five-class package for $110. To purchase either option, either come in person to Definitions, email [email protected], or call 202-821-9874. The class schedule can be found here. And don’t forget to check out the Definitions Facebook and Twitter.

Photos: Chris Glenn, yelp.com

No Yates, No Problem!

avoidyatesThe leaves are beginning to change color, Halloween is quickly approaching, and the aroma of Pumpkin Spice Lattes fills the air around you, signifying one thing: it’s finally fall!  However, with all of the good comes the bad. Midterms are hitting us like a brick wall, summer tans are definitely fading and your motivation to make the trek to Yates is dwindling fast.  (Seriously though, at this point in the year I consider the stairs to Yates enough of a workout for an entire week…anyone else?). While 4E can’t really do very much to help with midterm struggles and paleness, we do have a few suggestions that should help our fellow Hoyas combat their workout woes.

First off, what many Hoyas fail to realize is that the treacherous journey to Yates really isn’t necessary. I mean who really says you have to go to Yates to exercise?  There are plenty of ways to incorporate a great, sweat-inducing workout into your daily schedule without even considering going to Yates.

Squats in Lab If you happen to be a science student then this workout is perfect for you!  You know how you waste hours of time standing on your feet while waiting for some chemicals you mixed together to react? Yeah?!  Well why not take advantage of that time and use it to work out?  Do a few sets of squats and you’ll definitely be feeling the burn the next day.  Everyone, including your TA, will be in such awe of your ingenuity that they’ll be begging you to let them participate next time.

Calories Burned: 111

Lunges Between Classes Lunges are a fantastic way to target your leg muscles, but why limit yourself to doing them at Yates?  Make use of your spare time between classes by lunging your way through campus!  Don’t worry about looking silly, seriously, no one will judge you for improving your fitness.  Plus, I’m sure a lot of people will move out of your way so you have ample space to work your legs which will help you get to class even faster!

Calories Burned: 98

Impromptu Dance Party:

Bored of studying?  Take a quick study break with this fun-filled workout!  Don’t be shy about busting out your best jazz hands or wop; the more intense, the better the workout.  While you can dance your heart out in the comfort of your room, we highly encouraged you to dance in public places like Lau 2.  Just think of all the people you could inspire with your incredible moves, trust me you’d be making the world a better place!

Calories Burned: 119

Grapevine Through Leo’s:

Have you ever noticed that the music in Leo’s is actually pretty great pump up music?  Well, it is and you should totally use it as motivation for this workout.  Casually grapevine your way from station to station as you begin the hunt for edible food.  Make sure you listen for the beat in the Leo’s playlist so your timing isn’t off, because that would be suuuuuper embarrassing.  By the time you actually find your food you’ll have worked up such an appetite from all the grapevine-ing that you’ll definitely be headed back for seconds!

Calories Burned: 82

Prancercise Through Campus: 

Looking for a great way to get in some cardio, but really hate running?  Then Prancercising is just for you!  According to Prancercise creator, Joanna Rohrback, all you need to do to is grab some ankle weights, play some of your favorite tunes, “stop talkin and do some walkin”.  Basically opting to Prancercise means you get to gallop around campus like a horse, totally functional and totally fun!

Calories Burned: 95

So there you have it, Hoyas!  With these great new exercises you may never have to make your way to Yates ever again.  Just complete the above exercises daily and you’ll be in the best shape of your life.  Total calories burned? 555. Satisfaction from avoiding Yates?  Priceless.

Photos: blogspot.com, somegif.com; Video from: youtube.com

The Five People You Meet at Yates

A Guest Post by Meg Rizza
A Guest Post by Meg Lizza

We all know that Hoyas like to keep it fit. We are an overly-ambitious bunch and we work just as hard in the gym as in the classroom. After some exhausting observations, I have discovered that there are some very specific types that can be found at Yates.

The Lululemon Queen
This specimen is very easy to spot. It is not only due to her perfectly coordinated outfit, but also her $50 neon headband. But hey, give her a break, she works out hard. Not only is she working to keep that bod “Lululemon” acceptable by being the connoisseur of the elliptical, but she is constantly making the trek to their store on M street to check out the newest must-have.

We understand, Lululemon Queen.
We understand, Lululemon Queen.

The Professor
It may be a little awkward at first, but bumping into your professor at Yates isn’t such a bad thing. At least he or she knows now that you do other things besides watch Netflix, procrastinate, and drink Natty Light. They need to blow off some steam too and though they may be doing it in a Turkey Trot 5k T-shirt from 1999 and those somehow always perfectly clean white New Balances, we’ll let them off the hook.

The Athlete
You see their shoes … enough said. Just step aside.

The Wanderer
Usually a male, the wanderer is very mysterious. You never see him on a machine but somehow he is always profusely sweating. He seems to be aimlessly walking around the gym, headphones in, bravado high, and a pseudo-purpose that’s not fooling anybody. The only work out he is getting is with his eyes, as he creepily checks out the line of girls on the treadmills.

You're not fooling us, Wanderer!
You’re not fooling us, Wanderer!

You
Then there’s you. You’re pretty proud of yourself just for getting your lazy self all the way to Yates. You have your routine, but it’s nothing special. Sometimes you pretend you know what you’re doing and really hope by the grace of God that no one else can sense your uncertainty. It’s OK, everyone knows that you’re just working out to no longer feel guilty about taking two helpings on Chicken Finger Thursday.

Photo: everyguyed.com; Gifs: tumblr.com