7 Memes That Describe Yates

It’s that time of year again. Midterms are hitting hard, and one of the few ways Hoyas can compensate for late nights and hair-pulling study sessions is food. Greasy, delicious food. But after exams end and Late-Night Dominos Regret (LNDR™) kicks in, where does one turn?

For most NARPs, Yates Field House is the place where dignity and self-respect body insecurities go to die. For better or worse, here are some memes that describe the distinct pleasure known as working out at Yates:

1. Why? (WHY?!)

If you’ve felt an obligation to visit Georgetown’s finest plebeian fitness center (see #6), good for you. You are a health-conscious and tuition-paying (i.e. breathing) member of the Georgetown community! Whereas at most institutions of higher education students get to choose whether to belong to a gym, we Hoyas have that decision made for us by good old ~cura personalis~.(Side Note: Does this mean that if I gain the Freshman Fifteen I can get my money back?)

2.  Getting There

As if we didn’t have enough sets of stairs to deal with (see: Leavey, WGR, Lau, etc.), the stairs on the way to our gym are basically a 90-degree angle. If you make it over these steps, congratulations! The battle is already won. Be sure to let us know what it’s like on the other side.

Pro Tip: A really great way to get your workout in is by forgetting all of your things (water bottle, keys, headphones, etc.) in your dorm and running up the Yates steps every time before turning around and going back for more.

3. The Debauchery Dilemma

We at 4E are familiar with debauchery. As world-class bloggers, an “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures” is essential to our craft. Like many Hoyas, we struggle with that classic Saturday or Sunday morning (or whenever #youdoyou) question: to work out, or not to work out?

4. Motivation

Sometimes you just have to take the E for effort. Unlike everything else in our lives, we Hoyas are not bound by any standards when it comes to physical fitness (unless, of course, you are a ~varsity~ athlete). Thus, “workouts” at Yates are often consolidated with procrastination/free time, and end up looking a little something like this:

5. The Best People You Will Ever Meet

We Hoyas are a talented bunch. Many of us demonstrated both academic and athletic excellence in high school, and probably wrote a generic, yet moving story for our application about overcoming a sports injury that somehow earned us admission to a top college. Well, friends, high school is over!

Your athletic trophies are getting dusty, and it’s time to face the music: You are just like everyone elseFeel free to continue wearing your old lax jersey while getting #swole with your boys, but just know that we actually don’t care.

6. Georgetown Doesn’t Favor Athl–

When stepping onto campus this fall, many of you probably wondered, “What is that beautiful castle new building on the other side of Southwest Quad?” Now, there have been rumors that it’s a ~Georgetown-Athletics-Only~ gym, but according to inside sources, here’s the actual story – the John R. Thompson Jr. Intercollegiate Athletic Center is actually a warehouse-sized laboratory where coaches raise athletes from birth to win NCAA championships. For protocol on how to greet these wondrous students should they ever grace Yates with their presence, see here.

7. #hoyaspartysmart

Hoyas like to keep fit. When special events roll around, we don’t just drop our self-care responsibilities and let ourselves go. Come Homecoming and Georgetown Day, you can find us (in the immortal words of Fergie) “up in the gym, working on [our] fitness.”

Girl, you tasty. But maybe bring some water with you too, just in case.

Just remember: Hate On Yates Always! Go Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs/Content: giphy.com, dictionary.com, facebook.com (georgetown memes for non-conforming jesuit teens)

Let’s Get Physical: 4E’s Fitness Tips

feel the burnAfter a month of rain, clouds and general finals’ season gloominess, May has finally come to an end. I don’t know about you, but the last two weeks of school seemed particularly brutal this year. One anonymous junior reported that she “ordered a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich from The Tombs three days in a row to Lau,” while another anonymous source revealed to The Fourth Edition that she “stressed baked two trays of gluten-free brownies and finished both [herself] while stuck in the confines of her Village B apartment”.

But you know what? It happens. People stress eat. Life goes on.

Sadly, it’s now June. Weekend getaways and afternoons spent soaking up the sun after a long day in your cubicle are quickly approaching. But unlike those brownies, those pesky finals-season pounds won’t just disappear. Luckily, The Fourth Edition has some tips for you to gear up for a summer of sunshine and layer-shedding celebrations.

  1. Get out there. 
    As the the man formerly known as Louis Stevens once said…

    Yeah, that’s right. You with the Cheetos dust on the keyboard. I’m talking to you.

    The only way to begin making changes in your life is to, well, get started. Hop off the couch and take a walk outside. Just do something!

  2. Make a plan
    Set that alarm for 5:45 and make it to spin class. If you’re still in DC, head to the monuments for a sunrise you will Instagram on the spot won’t soon forget. Consider emerging from the great depths of the Metro and walking an extra block, or two, or six. Just make a plan and stick to it.
  3. Find a buddy
    Do you have a friend who #FoundHerSoul at SoulCycle? What about a gentle acquaintance who you heard refers to himself as the “Crossfit King”? Latch onto that guy or gal! Many fad fitness classes offer discounted rates for first-timers, and sometimes, seeing how in shape others are is just the motivation you need to better yourself.
    And if there are simply no golden retrievers in your circle of friends, grab your fellow roly-poly pug out of bed and start YouTubing at-home exercise routines. I’ve heard The Pussycat Dolls Workout works wonders…
  4. Don’t overdo it
    As a gentle warning from us at 4E, we’d like to remind you that you are by no means in the same shape you were in during, let’s say, high school. Your legs will not forgive you if you subject them to a five-mile run on your first day hitting the pavement.

    Sorry, only Ali can take this title. May he rest in peace!

    Relax! Ease yourself back into a routine. The only thing rushing you is the waning summer sun. And if all else fails…

  5. Improvise Be that guy at the office with the yoga ball-desk chair. Go ahead. Own it. You’re on your way to becoming a better “you”.

Gifs: giphy.com

A Summer in the District

summerdc

I have only been in D.C. for the summer for less than a week. Practically no time at all. Less than a week, and I have already encountered a ton of changes in Georgetown during the semester and Georgetown during the summer months. How does one place change so drastically in so little time?!

My Observations:

1. Campus is not the center of everything. This is the first time living off-campus during my time at Georgetown, so campus has obviously played a big part in my day-to-day routine. Now I’m living on Prospect St. and I haven’t even stepped within a block radius of campus!

2. D.C. is hot as hell. Oh hawt damn, D.C. is ridiculously warm. I have heard a ton of rumors of this heat, but experiencing it is a whole other thing. I have never craved iced coffee or froyo more in my life.

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3.  Living in a townhouse is the best type of living. Okay, Georgetown’s dorms are okay, but they are nothing compared to the townhouses in the neighborhood. Sure I am paying a hella lot of money per month, but it is so worth it. I actually feel like a real person, wut?

4. People in the District are beyond fit. Or at least they are really good at pretending to be fit. Everyone walks around with a yoga mat (not judging) and the people at Washington Sports Club seem so into it. Perhaps this will inspire me? (Note: Perhaps does not promise anything.)

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5. I love this place even more than I thought I did. With school being non-existent I have had more time to enjoy this place we Hoyas call home. Georgetown has so much to offer and I cannot wait to explore it all. Ugh, I love this place.

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For those of you not here right now, be sure to check 4E for more Georgetown updates and summer adventures!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; perezhilton.com; tumblr.com; huddy.com

Life Hacks: Midterm-Style

midterms

Tis the season…

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Oh wait, not that season!!

EVEN BETTER: MIDTERMS SEASON!

4E is back and ready to help you combat them. In 2012 we told you some great tips, but have decided with all of the advancement in the world that we needed to elaborate and update our advice to catch up with the times:

  1. Relax. ‘nuf said.

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2. Take Breaks. Here are a few ideas:

Call that one weird uncle we know you have and ask him for life advice.

Prep for the upcoming weekend festivities by teaching yourself the infamous Hoedown Throwdown which is sure to come in handy.

Try to teach yourself a new language. Better yet, make up your own and share it with all your friends via the book of face (read: Facebook)! Then, only communicate using your new language when answering phone calls, texts and instant messages.

3. Make Plans.

Perhaps a full detail layout for your best friends wedding! She didn’t ask you to, but that’s what friends are for, right?

You’ve been assigned a secret mission to trek across the country. How will you do it? By foot, tricycle, a combination of the two? Better start working on logistics.

Maybe you’re concerned about retirement. If so, you could take a brief study break and research all of the possibly nursing homes throughout the world that cater to your specific tastes, accessibility, and climate.

4. Keep Working on Your Fitness.

Our primary suggestion would be to find an open building on campus during a busy time of the day and sprint up and down the stairs repeatedly while chanting a personal mantra or favorite chorus. Should you choose to pursue this phenomenal idea please do so dressed like this:

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5Stay organized. Sock drawer is priority.

6. Naps on naps on naps. (With a little twist). Dare you consider pulling an all nighter you must:

Do it in Lau: capitalize on the misery in anyway you can.

Bring your mattress. (SLUMBER PARTY!)

And Footy PJs.

And your retainer, do not forget your retainer.

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7. Reward yourself. (read: TREAT YO’SELF):

This can be done in a multitude of ways but we advise chocolate, excess carbs, Netflix, dancing, bananagrams, spinny chairs, sweat pants, friendship, rooftops, M street, Chipotle, running (or not running if that’s your thing), real mac n cheese, more footy pjs, people watching, guacamole, Snapchat, Buzzfeed, girl scout cookies, ice cream and so forth…..

Just Don’t Forget to Remember:

A number does not define you or your future.

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 Photos/Gifs: ironwoodcrossfit.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com

Feel the Burn: Definitions DC Gives You Your Money’s Worth

Definitions

While we Hoyas have access to the lovely Yates and all the classes it has to offer, sometimes you just want to get off campus and work out somewhere else. But where?

Definitions Personal Trainers’ Gym, located inside 1050 Thomas Jefferson St. NW (right next to Baked and Wired, for all interested parties), is an intimate space where everyone knows your name. Many of the customers are regulars who, under the training and tutelage of the motivating staff, have come to love the early-morning workouts and personal training opportunities.

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At first it was confusing to find Definitions, but we were told that it’s kept highly secure because of the many important guests visiting the building. #JustDCProblems

 

I attended the 8:30 a.m. Saturday class, Metabolic Resistance Training, with my friend Michelle (thank you Michelle for agreeing to get up early and work out with me). Now, in the past, we were not fitness slouches – we’ve both run half-marathons, for instance. But as we progressed through college, we may not have retained the same level of fitness that we had when we were regularly training. At any rate, we had no idea what we were getting into.

Luckily, the Definitions staff is extremely patient and helpful. Our class was taught by DeShay Williams, who patiently guided Michelle and me, as well as the other people in the class, through a series of workouts, from kettlebell burpees to Bosu ball planks (side note: I was unaware of all of these terms until this class, except for “planks”). Each workout was timed such that there would be 45 seconds of agonizing exercise and 15 seconds of blissful break. The repetition was grueling, but DeShay and likely any other teachers of this class were more than helpful: whether pumping up the volume on the awesome Spotify playlist (Madonna goes really well with Usher, it turns out) or fixing my posture during dumbbell snatches, she made sure everyone was getting a safe but physically taxing 50-minute workout.

The gym has a variety of equipment in a relatively smaller space – any machine you’d want is available, but you don’t feel overwhelmed when you walk in. Classes are also kept small, with a cap of 12 people.

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With rubber reinforced flooring, this room is used for group training classes.
The main room of the boutique fitness center.
The main room of the boutique fitness center.

 

The locker rooms were well-accommodated, and there was a large supply of fresh towels and cold water, which Michelle and I took advantage of liberally during our experience. (By the end of the class, I was sweating so much that I took the walk back to campus wearing shorts. This is the only acceptable reason to wear shorts in the wintertime!)

All in all, for people who want to get in shape, Definitions is certainly a great alternative to Yates. While extremely tired and sore, Michelle and I agreed that there was no way someone could regularly attend the class and not be fit. The running student discount is 25% off – the cost of one class alone is $24, or a five-class package for $110. To purchase either option, either come in person to Definitions, email [email protected], or call 202-821-9874. The class schedule can be found here. And don’t forget to check out the Definitions Facebook and Twitter.

Photos: Chris Glenn, yelp.com

Get Pumped for Protest: Yoga Style

yoga protestToday, June 3, yoga masters and gym rats from all over D.C. are gathering to protest what is now being called the “yoga tax.” According to Washington City Paper, the D.C. Council is close to passing a bill that will add a 5.75% sales tax to tanning salons, gyms, barber shops, car washes,  and other services like yoga studios. Basically the city will start taxing the things that make us so gosh darn attractive.

At noon today, yogis plan to create a human wall and do burps together in protest, surrounding the Wilson Building in downtown D.C. (The building houses the offices of the D.C. mayor and councilmembers.) Imagine this, times many angry demonstrators.

If you are planning on joining in on this protest, 4E is here to help. On the morning of any act of civil disobedience you need to get PUMPED! MLK said that once. Now the perfect way to get just as sassy and jacked up as you’ll need to be is to do some yoga. We’ve complied the best yoga positions to really get you charged for a day of burpees and exercising your god-given rights.

1. Mountain Pose Stand in place. Yeah! Stick it to the man!

2. Downward Dog This is the namesake of every Georgetown girl’s favorite yoga studio. Do it for your house! Don’t let them mess with your people!

3. Tree Pose Put your right foot on the inside of your left leg thigh. Then switch. You are now one with nature and about to kick some bureaucratic butt.

4. Take a Deeeep Breathe That was a breathe of JUSTICE!

5. Corpse Pose Lay down, on your back. Maybe grab a pillow. Play a little “Rockabye baby.” Get your binkie. And take a cat nap. ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!?

Now that you’re the most pumped up you’ve ever been in your life, turn on “Here Comes the Boom” by Nelly, slap the top of your door on the way out and run to Capitol Hill screaming “U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”

Disclaimer: I may have undercut the complexity of these poses. A lot.

The Five People You Meet at Yates

A Guest Post by Meg Rizza
A Guest Post by Meg Lizza

We all know that Hoyas like to keep it fit. We are an overly-ambitious bunch and we work just as hard in the gym as in the classroom. After some exhausting observations, I have discovered that there are some very specific types that can be found at Yates.

The Lululemon Queen
This specimen is very easy to spot. It is not only due to her perfectly coordinated outfit, but also her $50 neon headband. But hey, give her a break, she works out hard. Not only is she working to keep that bod “Lululemon” acceptable by being the connoisseur of the elliptical, but she is constantly making the trek to their store on M street to check out the newest must-have.

We understand, Lululemon Queen.
We understand, Lululemon Queen.

The Professor
It may be a little awkward at first, but bumping into your professor at Yates isn’t such a bad thing. At least he or she knows now that you do other things besides watch Netflix, procrastinate, and drink Natty Light. They need to blow off some steam too and though they may be doing it in a Turkey Trot 5k T-shirt from 1999 and those somehow always perfectly clean white New Balances, we’ll let them off the hook.

The Athlete
You see their shoes … enough said. Just step aside.

The Wanderer
Usually a male, the wanderer is very mysterious. You never see him on a machine but somehow he is always profusely sweating. He seems to be aimlessly walking around the gym, headphones in, bravado high, and a pseudo-purpose that’s not fooling anybody. The only work out he is getting is with his eyes, as he creepily checks out the line of girls on the treadmills.

You're not fooling us, Wanderer!
You’re not fooling us, Wanderer!

You
Then there’s you. You’re pretty proud of yourself just for getting your lazy self all the way to Yates. You have your routine, but it’s nothing special. Sometimes you pretend you know what you’re doing and really hope by the grace of God that no one else can sense your uncertainty. It’s OK, everyone knows that you’re just working out to no longer feel guilty about taking two helpings on Chicken Finger Thursday.

Photo: everyguyed.com; Gifs: tumblr.com

Too Fit To Quit

too fit

Did you work out today? Eat healthy? Drink lots of water? Get proper sleep? Believe it or not, Hoyas, the answer is probably yes. That is, if you’re in the D.C.-Metro Area.

According to the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), Washington, D.C. ranks second on their Annual Fitness Index (AFI) of the 50 top U.S. metropolitan areas.

The index measures levels of chronic disease, preventative health behaviors, health care access, community resources and policies that encourage active, healthy lifestyles. This year, D.C. was awarded 77.7 out of 100 possible points on the AFI rankings. First place went to the Minneapolis-St.Paul metropolitan area, who scored a 78.2 overall.

The ACSM data showing D.C.’s health-concious lifestyle is nothing new. This is the second year in a row that D.C. has come in second place overall on the AFI. (Last year, D.C. scored a 75.8 – once again inched out by Minneapolis-St. Paul, which scored a 76.4.)

According to an ACSM press release regarding this year’s Index:

Washington ranked first on personal health indicators related to health behaviors, chronic health conditions and health care access. The area ranked third on community/environmental indicators associated to the built environment, recreational facilities, park-related expenditures, physical education requirements and primary health care providers.

The ACSM aims to improve urban quality of life across the U.S. through initiatives like the annual AFI. For this year’s survey, the group worked alongside the Indiana University School of Family Medicine and a panel of 26 health and physical activity experts to compile data from numerous sources, including the U.S. Center for Disease Control, the U.S. Census and Prevention’s Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System.

For more information about Washington’s health statistics, this year’s AFI and more, check out this page.

And until next year, stay healthy, Hoyas.

Photo: Sari Frankel/The Hoya

Best Bets: Let Your Inner Bear Out

Friday

Enjoy the last rays of summer with The Golden Triangle BID’s “Picnic in the Park,” from 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Make it to Murrow Park at 18th and H Streets for the chance to play lawn games and win some giveaways and eat free food.

I’m from New York so I’m partial to these Brooklyn natives, which means you should be too, naturally. Check out the Grizzly Bear (pictured) show Friday at the 9:30 club. Tickets ‘say’ they are sold out on the 9:30 website, but we all know how much fun Craigslist can be, so give it a go if you’re so inclined.

Saturday

Head to Fort Dupont Park in Northeast for Live Well DC from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. You’ll be greeted with a farmer’s market with free samples, free yoga classes, live music and giveaways. Did you say free stuff? Why yes, yes I did.

If you’re more of a lover of theater, hit up Washington Post’s Editor’s Pick, Hamlet at Folger Theatre for the last day of its production. Shows run at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. We all know how nice it is to sit in one place after a hard Friday night out. If you can entertain yourself while doing it, why not?

Sunday

Attend the Parade of Nations on Pennsylvania Avenue from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. As part of Fiesta DC (Catchy title, we like) there will be live music, vendors and of course, Latino culture.

Photo: http://theorangepress.net/2012/06/grizzly-bear-sleeping-ute-2012-dates/