Cries for Help: Carvings in Lau Cubicles

As a nearly 230-year-old institution, Georgetown is host to secrets that current students can hardly fathom.

Hopefully no basilisks tho 🐍 #snakesofgeorgetown

Some of these secrets date back to the school’s founding. Messages etched by early students into the stone walls of Healy, White-Gravenor and Dahlgren — “Thou art fairer than a principled Jesuit,” “Thy perfume sweetens the scent of the stankiest Leo’s dish return,” etc. — have faded over time.

Actual footage of the Healy clock ringing every 15 minutes.

However, contemporary graffiti is alive and well in some of the newer and more utilized buildings on campus. Most anonymous messages, in fact, are located in none other than Lauinger Library, a hotspot of ~brutal~ nervous breakdowns on campus.

Lauinger? I barely know her.

Please join me as I reveal the most honest and repulsive thoughts of Georgetown students: those scrawled on the inside of Lau cubicles and Walsh restrooms in desperate acts of self-expression.

Me as I plumb Lau’s dusty depths. Also, if you don’t know what movie this gif is from, I can’t be friends with you.

Georgetown Confessions

It’s amazing that the president found time to helicopter over to Georgetown and vandalize our library! Spelling errors aside, this is 100% a rule to live by. #FightAgainstTheCapitalistCorp

This was found covering approximately 4 feet of vertical space on the lower level of Lau. I mean … say it loud, say it proud??? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️

Breaking down gender barriers one act of vandalism at a time.

You’ve got to admit, coming out and claiming the Walsh fourth floor women’s bathroom as one of your favorite spots on campus is a bold move. Kudos to this brave soul.

Slackademia

This one is honestly too relevant right now. I love how this ~poet~ backed up some linguistics major’s revelation with a quintessentially Georgetown story of academic humiliation.

4E was tipped off that this one was drawn by a struggling freshman who started their “Problem of God” paper the night before it was due and realized that they were supposed to “conduct a survey.” Yikes.

Quarter-Life Crises

If Lana Del Rey went to Georgetown, these would be the lyrics to her No. 1 song. FYI, if unlike this songwriter, the middle stall in the Walsh third floor bathroom isn’t really your vibe, check out these other spots on campus where you can bawl your eyes out.

This picture illustrates what happens when SFSers get too into their Neo-Sovietism class and then realize that they have to make themselves marketable to consulting firms for summer internships.

Classic Georgetown Elitism

Okay, Brock, that’s only because your dad donated a swimming pool there! Get off your high horse, please.

I mean… George Washington probably would have been a Hoya. #justsayin

Hoyas Reveal Their Ugly Side

This statement is unacceptable. Georgetown students are practically defined by their constant belittlement of campus dining and love for mainstream hip-hop. Do better, Hoyas.

Now that you’ve seen some of the innermost thoughts of Georgetown students, I encourage you to look around the next time you’re struggling to write a paper in Lau at 2 a.m. You may find inspiring messages, crude drawings or desperate cries for help.

Either way, the notes left behind by past Hoyas are an important part of Georgetown’s history that current students can and should bond over.

Did you know that Ben Gates holds a degree in American history from Georgetown? #NotableAlum

Best of luck with finals, everyone! Keep scribblin’ away.

Note: I’d like to apologize to all of the people I weirded out while sneaking around Lau and Walsh taking pictures.

Sources: Giphy, Facebook (Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens)

Alternatives to Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row

Alternatives to Embassy Row

Every year, hundreds of college kids flock to Massachusetts Avenue to participate in the annual tradition of Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row. If you’ve never been, it’s a great opportunity to sit extremely close to a stranger on the DuPont GUTS bus, meet students from your fellow DC Universities (“Oh… so you go to…GW?) and maybe even score some free shots of Smirnoff that the Russian Embassy ~supposedly~ hands out (they don’t).

But for those of you looking to spice it up and try something different this year, here are some of 4E’s alternative suggestions for places you should add to your Trick-or-Treating Route.

The Common Room on Any Floor of New South.
There is probably (possibly?) something edible in the refrigerator that you can add to your bag of goodies. Stop by and relive all those great Freshman year memories while you’re at it!

Any Corp Coffee Location.
They probably won’t give you free coffee or pastries if you just go to the register and say Trick-or-Treat, but you can definitely still score some sweets by helping yourself to some of their delicious free packets of sugar and Splenda.

Brown House.
Bang on the door until someone answers! Offer to help clean up the house and you’ll be sure to find some pieces of gum or the remains of an Epi Quesadilla that someone left on the floor from the party last weekend.

Your Professors’ Office Hours.
If you pay a visit to your Professor and immediately start uncontrollably crying about how you failed your last midterm, there’s a chance they might try to calm you down by offering you whatever food they have lying around their office.

John Kerry’s House.
Just go knock! The Secret Service agents will definitely not have a problem with this. Just be sure to have some light conversational topics on hand to chat about for when The Secretary of State opens the door to give you some candy, such as the 2004 election or the Iran Nuclear Deal.

But actually, you WILL be tackled by Secret Service.

We hope that you find these Trick-or-Treating alternatives helpful. Happy #Halloweekend from your fav blog!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2fkeawa