Cries for Help: Carvings in Lau Cubicles

As a nearly 230-year-old institution, Georgetown is host to secrets that current students can hardly fathom.

Hopefully no basilisks tho 🐍 #snakesofgeorgetown

Some of these secrets date back to the school’s founding. Messages etched by early students into the stone walls of Healy, White-Gravenor and Dahlgren — “Thou art fairer than a principled Jesuit,” “Thy perfume sweetens the scent of the stankiest Leo’s dish return,” etc. — have faded over time.

Actual footage of the Healy clock ringing every 15 minutes.

However, contemporary graffiti is alive and well in some of the newer and more utilized buildings on campus. Most anonymous messages, in fact, are located in none other than Lauinger Library, a hotspot of ~brutal~ nervous breakdowns on campus.

Lauinger? I barely know her.

Please join me as I reveal the most honest and repulsive thoughts of Georgetown students: those scrawled on the inside of Lau cubicles and Walsh restrooms in desperate acts of self-expression.

Me as I plumb Lau’s dusty depths. Also, if you don’t know what movie this gif is from, I can’t be friends with you.

Georgetown Confessions

It’s amazing that the president found time to helicopter over to Georgetown and vandalize our library! Spelling errors aside, this is 100% a rule to live by. #FightAgainstTheCapitalistCorp

This was found covering approximately 4 feet of vertical space on the lower level of Lau. I mean … say it loud, say it proud??? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️

Breaking down gender barriers one act of vandalism at a time.

You’ve got to admit, coming out and claiming the Walsh fourth floor women’s bathroom as one of your favorite spots on campus is a bold move. Kudos to this brave soul.

Slackademia

This one is honestly too relevant right now. I love how this ~poet~ backed up some linguistics major’s revelation with a quintessentially Georgetown story of academic humiliation.

4E was tipped off that this one was drawn by a struggling freshman who started their “Problem of God” paper the night before it was due and realized that they were supposed to “conduct a survey.” Yikes.

Quarter-Life Crises

If Lana Del Rey went to Georgetown, these would be the lyrics to her No. 1 song. FYI, if unlike this songwriter, the middle stall in the Walsh third floor bathroom isn’t really your vibe, check out these other spots on campus where you can bawl your eyes out.

This picture illustrates what happens when SFSers get too into their Neo-Sovietism class and then realize that they have to make themselves marketable to consulting firms for summer internships.

Classic Georgetown Elitism

Okay, Brock, that’s only because your dad donated a swimming pool there! Get off your high horse, please.

I mean… George Washington probably would have been a Hoya. #justsayin

Hoyas Reveal Their Ugly Side

This statement is unacceptable. Georgetown students are practically defined by their constant belittlement of campus dining and love for mainstream hip-hop. Do better, Hoyas.

Now that you’ve seen some of the innermost thoughts of Georgetown students, I encourage you to look around the next time you’re struggling to write a paper in Lau at 2 a.m. You may find inspiring messages, crude drawings or desperate cries for help.

Either way, the notes left behind by past Hoyas are an important part of Georgetown’s history that current students can and should bond over.

Did you know that Ben Gates holds a degree in American history from Georgetown? #NotableAlum

Best of luck with finals, everyone! Keep scribblin’ away.

Note: I’d like to apologize to all of the people I weirded out while sneaking around Lau and Walsh taking pictures.

Sources: Giphy, Facebook (Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens)

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

Acai Bowls at Hilltoss!

acai3This week 4E decided to taste the Corp’s newest offering: Acai bowls at Hilltoss.

Pronounced ah-sah-ee, the acai berry is a superfood from Brazil. Available in the US mostly in a puree form, these berries contain antioxidants, fiber and heart-healthy fats.

The Hilltoss blends up the organic acai with guarana and banana to form the base of the bowls, which are then finished with two sets of toppings.

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Ponta Negra, $6.99
Toppings: vanilla almond granola, blackberries, banana, pomegranate seeds, shredded coconut

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Catalina Island, $7.99
Toppings: vanilla almond granola, banana, blueberries, raspberries, chia seeds

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Additional toppings can be added, including agave nectar, hemp hearts and bee pollen.

The acai base has the texture of a dilute smoothie and the taste of sweet wild berries.
All of the ingredients were clearly fresh, and the granola added a much-needed crunch. The pomegranate seeds and blueberries offered an important sour contrast to the sweet acai in their respective bowls.

The two bowls, while both delicious, are very similar. The only problem we encountered was they did take a little while to prepare, as they are design intensive. So if you don’t have at least 10 minutes, you should change your food order.

The bowls are very reasonably priced considering the amount of food – these could easily be a big breakfast or a light lunch (both 4E tasters put half their bowls in the fridge for later).

Ratings:
Taste – 5/5
Presentation – 5/5 (these things are beautiful!)
Options – 4/5
Service – 4/5
Price – 5/5
Size – 5/5

Overall the bowls were great and you should definitely check them out at Hilltoss, located in the Healey Family Student Center.

Photo: sunshinesmoothie.com

Poll: Name the Healey Family Student Center

hfsc nickname poll

OK, Hoyas. We’ve given you a month to get attached to the trendy Healey Family Student Center, and now we’re going to let YOU choose a nickname that does your love for the place justice. Read our picks for the center’s nickname and then vote for your favorite below.

HFSC
Georgetown loves acronyms. HFSC is quick, clear and impossible to say. AChefEssie?

GUHFSC
Pronounced Goofska. You can’t have an acronym without GU — right, GUGS, GUAFSCU, GUTS, GUCC, GUAS and GUAC?

The Deep South
It’s part of New South, but deeper into the south side of campus, deeper into the ground and it’s moving deeper into our hearts. We know the name Deep South has been used for a part of New South but the student center is even more “southern.” (New Deep South is also an option.) With this nickname comes the semi-mandatory dress code of sunbonnets and cowboy boots and a lesson in how to make peach cobbler.

Village D
We have Village A, Village B, Village C West (woohoo!) and Village C East. It only makes sense to add another village to the family.

The SAC
Short for Student Activity Center. It is a center for student activities. And there’s so much room for them! Bang bang.

The Heal
Popularized by OAs during NSO, “The Heal” rolls of the tongue and is easy to type in text messages. Its one drawback is its similarity to the body part, the heel, located on the back of the foot. No one wants to study inside a heel. Heels are gross.

H Fam Stu Cen
Single syllables for the win.

The Nap Trap
Tired during the school day? Go crash on one of those funky looking step couches — no one can use them for studying anyway. The Corp has no coffee presence in the center, so there is no possibility that the smell of delicious (?) coffee will interrupt your slumber.

HGSCGUHFSCSDHadfhkaddu
If an acronym isn’t significantly longer and more cryptic than the name itself, is it really an acronym? While these letters don’t actually stand for anything, this provides an easy way to steal the spotlight from Georgetown’s current most confusing and unnecessary acronym, GUASFCU.

As part of the university’s new agreement to listen to student voices, whatever nickname you choose will probably be carved into the stone patio outside of the center and recreated on the roof of New South using six million giant glow sticks, so it will be visible from above. Cast your vote today and change the future of Georgetown forever.

[cardoza_wp_poll id=26]

How to Be a Georgetown Hustler

georgetownhustleWe’ve all seen the movie American Hustle. Well, maybe not all of us, but if you haven’t, you should get on that this Easter break. Anyway, don’t you want to be like Amy Adams and Georgetown alumnus Bradley Cooper? (I know I do.) It can be hard to get your American Hustle on while you’re in the midst of studying for those last few tests, but never fear, you can still be a Georgetown Hustler, which is just as great, if not better! How, you might ask? Just follow these few tips:

1. Steal three pieces of fruit from Leo’s. They tell you that you can only take two, so be daring and slip a third apple into your bag.

2. Bring uncovered drinks into Lau 3. You’re a rebel and no one can tell you what to do. Bonus points if you walk right past the circulation desk without being detected.

3. Use a friend’s GoCard to swipe into a building where yours doesn’t work. Trespassing in the dorms is so 007.

4. Buy a one-class Yates pass and use it for two classes. You can still be a hustler while you’re getting a workout.

5. Pretend you know a few brothers at one of the frats to get into party. Who do you know here? Uh, Matt, he’s a great guy! We’re best friends! You don’t need to be a freshman to hustle your way in the door.

6. Switch your meal plan at the last second to get extra flex dollars. Switch from the 14 to the 10 and you’ll get 50 more flex dollars — that’s like 10 Corp drinks (swag).

7. Step on the seal. You’re not scared by the superstition. You’re going to stomp on that seal, and then graduate with honors. (Just kidding. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.)

Okay, let’s be honest, you might not be the most badass student on campus, but it’s the small rebellions that get you through the day. You might not be able to wear low cut dresses like Amy Adams. You might not be able to rock the curlers like Bradley Cooper. But with these easy tips, you can still be a Georgetown Hustler.