What Clubs Famous People Would Be In At Georgetown

As one of the top 20 schools in the U.S. (and home to the hottest college men, according to Tinder), Georgetown is generally accepted as a place for the ~elite~.

We’re not an Ivy but… yeah, pretty much.

While a fair number of VIPs have walked these hallowed halls (I sometimes daydream about running into Bradley Cooper in the dish return at Leo’s), with a 16% acceptance rate, it’s hard to “catch ‘em all.”

I still cringe…

Once you’ve figured out what famous Hoya you are, come take a break from procrastinating for finals reality with me and imagine what clubs your favorite celebs would be in if they had sported the good ol’ blue and gray.

*wipes away tear*

The Kardashians – Thirty-Seventh

We all know that these gals enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t attest to their academic aspirations, but I have a good feeling that if Kardashoyans existed, they would be major contributors to Georgetown’s premier lifestyle and fashion blog. #Yeezys #For #All

If you stop reading 4E, Kim will be mad. 

Emma Watson – Blue and Gray

This is the friend that you want to hate but can’t because they’re just too nice. Smart, beautiful, vaguely international—they make Georgetown look damn good. You may resent this pal’s borderline *magical* talents, but you have to admit that this kid is going places.

A typical Georgetown know-it-all.

Mark Ruffalo – The Corp

To all my Ruffalovers out there, this one’s for you. This Bernie Bro can sport a knit fleece like no other, and will engage you in a long-winded discussion on conspiracy theories if you so much as whisper the words “inside job.” Can’t you imagine the man behind The Hulk, once dubbed a “sentient farmer’s market,” serving you your double shot of espresso at Midnight MUG with a crinkly, good-natured smile? We know we can.

That woven bracelet tho :-O

Ivanka Trump – GUASFCU

The First Daughter was a student in the MSB for two years before transferring to Penn (*cough* complicit). Her penchant for fancy shoes and ambiguous business buzz-words would make her a prime candidate for Georgetown’s most prestigious financial association.

If you don’t sleep in a suit, are you really an MSBro?

Zac Efron – GUGS

The High School Musical and Neighbors star is truly a man of the people. For this reason, he’d be a member of one of Georgetown’s most accepting clubs, flipping delicious meat spheres burgers for the masses on Friday afternoons. *sings We’re All In This Together with added enthusiasm*

 
If only Georgetown had real frats…
 
 
Stay warm, people. If Bradley Cooper made it through finals, so can we.
 
 
Photos/GIFS: youtube.com, giphy.com, fastccompany.net
 
 
 

What Famous Hoya Are You?

College is a time of great uncertainty. Everyday, we ask ourselves: “What will I do with my life?” “Who will I be when I grow up?” “Why did I decide to major in English?”

We know these questions might seem scary, but 4E is here to help you procrastinate writing that essay for another five minutes discover who you really are. Take this quiz, and finally find an answer to the timeless question:

What Famous Hoya Are You?

[playbuzz-item item=”2c957ab5-7146-4294-8a85-de4b9f44836a” format=”personality-quiz”]

 

Photos: tumblr.com

 

What Your Favorite La Croix Flavor Says About You

Image result for la croix costumes

La Croix: It can be found in any Georgetown Girl’s refrigerator, but no one really knows how to pronounce it … La Croy? La Cwah? La Crocs? For those of us who love this sparkling beverage, here’s what your preferred flavor says about you.

Pamplemousse and Cran-Raspberry : Although all flavors of La Croix are basic, these two are the worst of them all. You wear Adidas Superstars and Lululemon leggings and drink La Croix to ~rehydrate~ after SoulCycle. You use La Croix as a chaser for your Mango Pineapple Svedka because it’s “healthy.”

Any of the Curate Flavors: You’re really bougie and probably pronounce it “La Cwah.”

Plain: You’re a real hardo. You’d prefer to drink plain water out of your Brita filter but you drink plain La Croix to seem jazzy.

Coconut: Some may say it tastes like a candle, but if you drink Coconut La Croix, you’re the cool kid at the party. You’re super trendy and fun and everyone wants to be your friend (disclaimer: this is my flavor of preference).

Lime: You’re trying to cut back on soda and if you really pretend, it tastes nothing kinda like Sprite.

Peach-Pear: You really like Burnett’s, but since it isn’t socially acceptable to drink on a Tuesday at 1 p.m., Peach-Pear La Croix is the closest you’re going to get.

So, next time you walk around campus with a can of La Croix in hand, just know that the rest of us are judging you.

Photos: lacroixwater.com, www.brit.co

Why 20 Is Not an Irrelevant Age

We here at 4E have set out to explain Why 20 Is Not Irrelevant: You may not get a Tombs Night, but the big 2-0 has some perks.

  1. Congrats! You’ve beaten teen pregnancy!  Take pride in accomplishing something Kylie Jenner could not.

  2. You’ve likely spent fifteen years of your life in school and still don’t understand taxes. But, hey, at least you know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!
  3. It is legal to drink in Iceland and Japan. Is there a Tombs in Tokyo?


  4. You’re closer to turning 40 than you are to birth!
  5. Teenage emo phases are over — it ISN’T a phase mom, this IS the real me.


  6. You can officially feel out of touch with ~the youth~ and not feel like a bad millennial. I never understood fidget spinners anyway, to be honest.


  7. Society expects you to get married, have kids and successfully establish a career during this decade! (I’m fine, he’s fine, we’re ALL FINE!)

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, eaglesgymnastics.com

The 5 Parents You Will Meet During Parents Weekend

Take a break from rationing your remaining flex dollars and crying at the thought of having to eat at New Leo’s, because Parents Weekend (a.k.a. Beg Your Parents to Buy You Food Weekend) is upon us. And while it’s certainly nice to see the ‘rents (s/o my fellow #millennials), there are always some moms and dads you should be on the lookout for. To help you out, we’ve complied a list of the five parents you will meet during Parents Weekend:

1. The “Alumnus”

This parent answers the hypothetical question, “What if Jersey Night was somehow a dad?” Get ready for a weekend full of some definitely-not-exaggerated stories about those “wild nights at The Tombs” and how he/she totally used to “party with Patrick Ewing” “back in the day”. The “Alumnus” can usually be found reminiscing about how “the drinking age used to be 18” or how “the basketball team used to be good,” while staring wistfully at Healy and telling you about the time his/her roommate fell out of a New South window. Should you have to interact with one of these parents over the course of your weekend, our best advice is to continually reassure the “Alumnus” that you too love the movie St. Elmo’s Fire, while casually hinting how “cool” it would be if someone could buy you a case of Natty.

The “Alumnus” “Back in the Day”

2. The “Empty-Nester”

This parent is still having a hard time accepting that the baby of the family is off at college. The Empty-Nester will spend the weekend doing the child’s laundry and thanklessly trying to replicate a home-cooked meal in the middle of a VCW common room. If your parent is the “Empty-Nester”, be sure to blatantly lie reassure them that you are making good choices, exercising regularly, and studying diligently every night before going to sleep promptly at 10 p.m. If you come into contact with someone else’s “Empty-Nester” mom or dad, be sure to nod sympathetically and mention how your own parents have simply replaced you with a dog.

The “Empty-Nester” at Parents Weekend

3. The “Well, MY Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”

This parent is hopelessly out of touch with reality. When meeting other parents, this mom or dad will immediately assert a (false) superiority by saying some variation of “Well, my [insert child’s name] isn’t much of a partier” or “Well, my [insert child’s name here] is too busy studying to really go out much”.  Nine times out of ten, this parent’s beloved child is the same child you once found passed out next to an empty can of Four Loko in a bathroom on a Tuesday night. If you meet one of these parents, resist the urge to show off all those incriminating Snapchats you’ve screenshotted, and simply go along with the naïve charade. Someday, likely in the form of a hospital bill after [insert child’s name here] is GERMSed from falling down the Vil A rooftop steps, the truth behind all those alleged “nights in Lau” will come out. But Parents Weekend is not that day.

Interacting with The “Well, My Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”

4. The “Is This Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend??”

This parent will spend the entire weekend launching a full-scale, Spanish-Inquisition-style investigation into his or her child’s dating life. This will include asking every carbon-based lifeform that comes within ten feet of New South, “So…you and [insert child’s name] are…friends?” If this is your parent, expect a weekend of having your room discreetly searched for evidence, and continually being asked “whom are you texting?” and “is there anything you want to tell me?” as you walk around campus. If you find yourself in a situation where this is one of your friend’s parents, we suggest you remove yourself from this situation as quickly as possible, unless you want to become the next contestant on a never-ending Jeopardy episode where every category is just “Are You Dating My Son???”

We have all met this mom

5. The “Trump Supporter”

This one goes out to you, Hoyas from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. So step away from the “H*yas for Choice” table and rip that “Feel the Bern” sticker off your laptop, because all your friends are about to find out that your parent(s) are wholly responsible for the horrible and embarrassing end of American Democracy as we know it voted for Donald J. Trump. If you want to keep some semblance of familial cordiality and make it through the weekend on speaking terms, follow some of these helpful tips and tricks:

  • DO NOT mention what happened when Jeff Sessions spoke at the Law School a few weeks ago.
  • DO NOT mention that Hillary spoke in Gaston last year.
  • DO NOT mention anything about her famous Hoya Husband either.
  • DO mention that Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort are alumni? (#notmyhoyas).
You, when your “Trump Supporter” parents talk to your friends

So there you have it: The five parents you will meet on parents weekend. From all of us here at 4E: be safe, have fun, and enjoy putting off that midterm paper in favor of getting brunch with the #rents.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, wisegeek.com

Welcoming 4E’s Fall Hires!

Every semester, 4E is blessed with a brand new bunch of bloggers! From reading their applications, to laughing at with them during interviews, we had a blast getting to know these students. Learn more about our shining six new bloggers:


Jessica Lin (COL ’21)

Top 5 Best Shows for the Pre-Teen Soul

  1. SpongeBob SquarePants. Objectively everyone’s cartoon of choice. Though some of us may have aged into Squidwards, we’ll always have a soft spot for the shrill yet endearing voice of Bikini Bottom’s most legendary resident. The show is currently on its 11th season. Are ye ready kids?
  2. Drake & Josh. Teen comedy at its finest. We cackled over Josh’s wildly emphatic gestures, harbored a low-key (or even high-key) crush on Drake, and held a begrudging respect for Megan’s hilariously vindictive antics. If ever watching reruns, let’s all hope for the laugh tracks to drown out our reaction to Drake not receiving an invitation to his brutha’s wedding.
  3. Zoey 101. Let’s admit it: we were all a little bitter when our high schools turned out to be nothing like PCA. Maybe it’s not too late to cruise past Healy in a Jet X scooter, though.
  4. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Our OG guilty pleasure. We might have started it just for kicks, but Zuko won us over with his transition to the “good guys” side. Suck it, Fire Nation.
  5. Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Ned, Cookie, Moze: name a more iconic trio. But this time, we probably weren’t too disappointed that our school experience was (hopefully) nothing like Ned’s.

Sam Shapiro (SFS ’21)

Top 5 Presidents I’d Like to Party With

  1. Ike Eisenhower. He’s seen some things. I would definitely be down to hear some wild war stories. Also, he was a cheerleader at West Point. Actually, that’s kinda sus.
  2. Warren G. Harding. Despite being one of the worst presidents of all time, Warren G. must have been the life of the party. He gambled away multiple sets of White House china. He was infertile though, also kinda sus.
  3. Ronald Reagan. I’m talking Hollywood Ronny, SAG President Ronny, vintage Eureka College Ronny. Definitely not War on Drugs Ronald. Definitely not.
  4. John F. Kennedy. He’s so handsome. Like so handsome. Partying with JFK means partying with Jacky O and partying with Marilyn Monroe: two things I’m surely here for. 
  5. Donald Trump. lmao jk. Bill Clinton. This may be the biggest no-brainer of all time. Have we ever had a president so charming. Fuck, have we ever had an American so charming? At some point during the night he’s gonna whip out the saxophone. Then, it’s really going down.

Zayna Nassoura (COL ’20)

Top 5 Pillars of My Life

  1. Long Beach Island. I have been going to LBI for as long as I can remember. It’s part of the Jersey Shore but nothing at all like the tv show. It’s a quaint little island with lots of small shops and art. My time there includes biking, picking up my morning coffee and, of course, Wawa.
  2. O’Bagel. If you’ve never had a New Jersey bagel, you have to! I recommend going to O’Bagel (but other N.J. bagel shops will work). I personally suggest getting a bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain bagel on a Sunday morning.
  3. Khalid. Khalid is my favorite artist of all time. Yes, I know that’s a bold statement considering I didn’t even know who he was a year ago. But I’m telling you, he has changed my life. I have listened to his album “American Teen” nonstop since he came out with it.
  4. New York City. I could spend a whole day in the Met looking at art or in Chelsea gallery hopping. Other days I love going to SoHo and shopping with friends. During the holidays, Broadway and Rockefeller are my go-to stops.
  5. “My People.” This includes my friends and family. For me, weekends at home wouldn’t be the same without my parents blasting music through the speakers, my brother making a new recipe or my other brothers playing on their computer together. I can’t imagine not having sushi and movie nights with my friends or brunch on weekend mornings.

Joanie Castiello (COL ’20)

Top 5 Spreads of All Time (In Order from Greatest to Least Great)

  1. (Crunchy) Peanut Butter
  2. (Perfect Pita Roasted Red Pepper) Hummus
  3. Guacamole
  4. Queso
  5. Nutella

Isabel Roemer (NHS ’21)

Top 5 Things About Being a Freshman at Georgetown

  1. NSO. There’s nothing better than bearing witness to uncomfortable flirtations between awkward and sexually confused 18 year olds. From Convocation to Pluralism in Action, your orientation group has your back—until you promptly begin avoiding eye contact the day after NSO ends. But fear not, the awkwardness pays off with the infamous NSO pregame a couple of weeks later. There are things to look forward to!!!
  2. Club Lau. What better way to introduce yourself to those ~intimidating~ upperclassmen than by getting your groove on at a communal library jam sesh?? No jokes here, I literally danced so hard that water was dripping out of my ponytail by the end of the night. What a unique intro course on how to keep off the freshman fifteen!
  3. #Cawledge #Lyfe. Two days into the semester. I am strutting around campus like the independent college woman that I am. What’s that? Only one class on Mondays AND Wednesdays? Whatever shall I do with my time?? What’s that? Eating Cheez-Its out of a mug and watching celebrity closet tours is not socially acceptable? I guess I’ll just find some club applications to keep myself busy!
  4. Ballin’ on a budget. Only college students can be simultaneously cheap as hell and totally irresponsible with their finances. No, I am not willing to do laundry in the two weeks before it’s free, and again, no, there’s no way I can pass up getting $12 Korean barbecue at the farmer’s market. There’s no compromising here.
  5. New South pregames. Infamous. Unprecedented. So many adjectives I could use to describe these glorious soirées held by the most impressive, confident, sink-owning members of the freshman class. But watch out–if you party too hardy the RA might get wind of your rager and, in a fit of jealousy, snap pictures of you and your best buddies’ GOCards. Will you or won’t you get community service? A question you can agonize over with Shakespearean angst for the rest of the semester.

Elizabeth Park (COL ’21)

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures

  1. Pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while singing: More like yelling/screaming at the top of your lungs to the Spice Girl’s hit song, “Wannabe” — of course acting like the guitarist, drummer and lead singer is highly encouraged.
  2. Planning on making cookies and then just eating the raw cookie dough: Don’t worry, I make the batter without eggs; salmonella doesn’t exactly seem like the most pleasant thing.
  3. Binge-watching all the “High School Musical” movies: (C’mon, I know guys like those too. I’ve seen them secretly jamming out to the soundtrack before.)
  4. Watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos: Okay, I know that these are disgusting. I keep asking myself, “Why do you click on it when you know you’re going to end up cringing from disgust?” But even so, I somehow always end up watching another one.
  5. Eating a Hot Pocket at 2:30 in the morning: Really, eating any sort of microwaveable food that requires the least amount of brain cells to make is great at 2:30 a.m.

We can’t wait to see what our new bloggers will bring this semester and beyond!

Photos: facebook.com, thehoya.com

9 Reasons Why We Love The Farmers Market

Banner - FarmersAh, Wednesdays. It’s a special type of day… not only because we’ve gotten through half of the week, but also because our generous university has gifted us with the deliciousness that is the Farmers Market. Here are nine reasons we are in love with it – is your favorite on the list?

  1. That Incredible Pizza

The Timber Pizza Company hits it out the park every time. You can get an amazing wood-fired pizza that’s classic cheese, pepperoni or veggie/pesto-style. Any way you order it, the pizza is so fresh and delicious that no one would judge you if you got right back in line for another.

2. It’s Not From Leo’s
Let’s face it, you need to avoid it at all costs a break once in a while.

3. Churros. Stuffed. With. Nutella.
Quite honestly, there’s little to nothing I would rather have right now. The name says it all.

4. Rita’s To-Die-For Crepes

They start out with the perfect crepe, and from there you can go savory or sweet – or both!

5. The Dumplings
Pinch’s handmade Chinese dumplings will never let you down. As my official go-to farmers market meal, I highly recommend these little pockets of perfection.

6. Melties

The combination of warm cookies and ice cream will make you want to cry the happiest tears of joy.

7. Swizzler’s ~Gourmet~ Hot Dogs
I said gourmet, right? I’ll bet you haven’t had a hot dog this fancy in your life. So do yourself a favor and treat yo’ self.

8. The Ambiance
You gotta love the happy, heart-warming atmosphere on Copley Lawn every Wednesday. Break out that picnic blanket, grab some friends and get out there!

9. You’re Slowly Becoming More Of An Adult

What? Is that you buying fruit and bread for breakfast, carrying around grocery bags, and providing for yourself? Props to you, you fully functioning adult!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, gufarmersmarket.org

The 5 People You Meet in a GroupMe

the 5 people you meet in a GroupMe

Over the course of your four years at Georgetown, you are bound to be added to more than a few GroupMes. Whether it is a GroupMe for your friends, your dorm building, your floor or a club, you will definitely encounter some ~interesting~ people.

The Questioner
This curious fellow feels no question is too small or insignificant to pose to the entire student body. It could be anything as ordinary as asking one’s freshman floor for some Advil to cure those Sunday Scaries or anything as strange as asking the entire class of 2020 if anyone wants to go star gazing at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night (I guess light pollution can’t stop this one). No matter the GroupMe, there is always someone who continues to embrace their fifth grade teacher’s policy of “no question is a stupid question.”

The Campaigner
It’s election season for both the nation and the Hilltop. Considering Georgetown’s location and the fact that basically 50 percent of students are government majors, it should come as no surprise that people here are really into politics and will shamelessly campaign in their GroupMes. Whether it is an invitation to call random rich people for Hillary or a desperate plea to “Vote for me for MSB Academic Council!!!” there is never a shortage of political opportunities in your extensive list of chats.

The Silent Majority
If you scroll through the 259 members of your #poppin’ New South GroupMe, more often than not you will find a small bell crossed out in the top corner of each person’s respective square. These are the people who never have and probably never will speak in the GroupMe. These are the people who don’t really want to be in the chat but FOMO too hard to leave. This is the silent majority… this is most likely you.

The Sharer
There is always that one person who is just a little too comfortable with everyone in the GroupMe. Whether it’s sending constant drunk selfies with their quesadilla in Epi or sharing the intimate details of last night’s hookup, some people have to learn some boundaries.

But you’re secretly intrigued…

The Savior
At last we have arrived at my personal favorite GroupMe person – one whom I like to compare to Jesus Christ. This is the person who alerts the GroupMe of the nearest party or more importantly, the whereabouts of free food. Those “brownies on the third floor” and “free pizza on the front lawn” messages are essentially the sole reason I remain in the vast majority of my GroupMes.

Now that you know the different types of people found in a GroupMe, take some time to reflect. Are you a questioner or a campaigner? A sharer (a.k.a. just an extremely flamboyant drunk texter)? Are you… dare I say it… the second coming of Christ? Whichever one you are, keep doing you. Or maybe don’t.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2cOGOpx

Which Georgetown School Are You?

og_healy_hallFeeling isolated? No one understands you? Struggling with your sense of self and purpose? Not the smartest kid anymore? Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with your overinflated sense of self being confronted with the real world for the first time. You’re just in the wrong school! Take this easy quiz to find out with 110% accuracy which school you should transfer into, thereby fixing all your problems.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/thefourthedition10/which-georgetown-school-do-you-actually-belong-in”]

Photos: georgetown.edu

How to Get a Great Internship

Stressed-Out-College-Student-at-computer

Break out your suits and resume folders because it’s time to find an internship. Perhaps you don’t know how to format your resume or even where to begin? If you want to get offers from your favorite employers, you must set yourself apart from the rest.

So what if Susie has a 4.0? You have personality, and that’s what big companies are looking for. Here’s an example of the ideal resume below:

THIS IS MY RESUME       
173 Harbin Hall, Washington, DC 20057; 555-555-5555
(I’m not the best at picking up calls so shoot me a text)

EDUCATION

Georgetown University, Washington, DC
Cumulative GPA: Cura Personalis, right?
Major: Computer Science (I haven’t taken a class but I think I like technology and all that so it should be easy)
High School Cumulative GPA: 4.00 (Yup, high school was pretty much my academic peak. I still keep this on my resume to prove that I am smart.)

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

  • Successfully skipped my 8:00 am Problem of God class 4 Fridays in a row and still got an A. (I can’t let class disrupt my thirsty Thursday festivities)
  • Cumulatively stole 43 chocolate chip cookies, 30 apples and 5 pounds of Special K cereal from Leo’s in one year.
  • Once fit 178 practice problems on a half-page formula sheet for my finance midterm. (#Aced it)

SKILLS

  • Franzia connoisseur. (I can smell the difference between Sunset Blush and White Zinfandel from a mile away. They have quite distinct aromas. If you swish the Sunset Blush around in your red solo cup you can almost smell the oak.)
  • Ask me to sing any Taylor Swift song and I’ll know the lyrics.

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

  • Photographer (My Instagram has 100 followers)
  • Model (My aforementioned Instagram account only consists of selfies)

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

  • GU(random letter I forget)A, Social Chair
    • I threw really great parties. (I’m not really sure what the organization actually does though. I haven’t been to many of the meetings.)
  • Freshman Class Committee, Chair                                                                                    
    • Yeah we didn’t really do anything.
    • Planed social and philanthropic events to unite 7,636 undergraduate students and better the Georgetown community.
    • Managed and allocated $2,000 of funding during the 2013- 2014 academic year.

TECHNICAL & LANGUAGE SKILLS

  • Excel, PowerPoint, Microsoft Word (I’m really technologically advanced, hence the Computer Science Major)
  • Spanish (I took it in high school and remember how to say the important things, like enchilada)

So there you have it, Hoyas. Just follow our ready-to-go resume example above, and you’ll never need to visit the Career Center ever again!

Photo: sudikeff.ucla.edu