36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

We’ve all heard it before; heck, those lucky guides in Blue & Gray tout it as one of the shining moments of a campus tour, delivered while standing in front of historic Dahlgren Chapel:

“Why yes, 60% of Hoyas do marry other Hoyas!”
*Guide shares a knowing smile with mom in crowd nudging her clearly uninterested son.*

Incredible, right?

Perhaps you’ve met your other half here on the Hilltop; maybe you’re part of the rumored 40% who will *enter dramatic music* meet your significant other after leaving Georgetown. 

Regardless, why not try finding love here now? Taking a page out of the New York Times Modern Love column, we at 4E developed…

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

The 36 questions are broken down into three parts. As you complete each section, the questions will get more and more intimate. If at any point in the in the questionnaire you feel uncomfortable, you may cease and desist. If this is your decision, we at 4E ask that you leave your partner without any notice in order to ensure that you two will avoid eye contact if you ever just so happen to be crossing Healy Lawn at the same time ever again.

Why not ask that special someone to a coffee date, a romantic night at Domino’s Pizza or a stroll to the benches in front of Dahlgren Chapel, just to set the mood? Take a chance on love and ask them these 36 questions. After all, love doesn’t just happen; it’s a choice.

*Disclaimer: 4E is not responsible for any unsuccessful love stories, as this is not a scientific study backed by any supporting evidence. However, we will take full credit if you do find love using our methods. We welcome you to send all complaints and/or suggestions to [email protected]*

Part I

  1. Given the choice of any person in the world, who would you like to be your “Problem of God” professor?
  2. Would you like to be Georgetown famous? In like a “mentioned on Georgetown Confessions” way? Or maybe in a “God, can you believe he wrote a confession about himself?” kind of way?
  3. Before putting in your order at the pasta line at Leo’s, do you ever rehearse what you’ll say to the jolly employee?
  4. What would constitute a perfect Georgetown Day for you?
  5. When did you last “accidentally” order two quesadillas at Epi for yourself?
  6. If you make it big in the real world, what will be the first thing you give to Georgetown’s campus that it so desperately needs?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about why Rhino closed despite it’s undeniable earning power among Hoyas both above and underage?
  8. On the count of three, name your go-to Wisey’s order.
  9. What flavor of Burnett’s are you most grateful for?
  10. If you could change anything about your time on the Hilltop, what would it be?
  11. Take 90 seconds to tell your partner how Quick Pita positively impacted your life before its passing.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with the power to change one thing permanently at Georgetown, what would it be?
    Part II
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, would you want to know if you’re working at Goldman Sachs, Deloitte or Teach for America?
  14. Is there a place on campus you’ve dreamed of taking that special someone to for a long time? Why don’t you lead them to Reiss rooftop right now?
  15. Without naming any clubs you finally got into, classes you aced or the number of chicken fingers you can down on Chicken Finger Thursday, what has been the greatest accomplishment of your Hoya existence?
  16. What do you value more in a roommate: cleanliness or their number of housing points?
  17. What is your most treasured memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  18. What is your most terrible memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  19. Knowing that graduation is looming, what is stopping you from going after the Hoya that got away?
  20. What did/does your friendship with your freshman year roommate mean to you?
  21. Has your love and affection for our men’s basketball team, despite the heartbreak inflicted, had a positive effect on your Georgetown experience?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive side effect of living in D.C. Share three items each.
  23. How tight-knit was your freshman floor? Do you feel that your freshman year experience on Darnall 6 was happier than that of most other Hoyas?
  24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you with your dean?
    Part III
  25. Make three “we” statements with your partner. For example, “We at this bench have both stolen rolls of toilet paper from Regents and smuggled them out under our Barbour jackets.”
  26. Finish this sentence on the count of three: “I wish someone at Georgetown had told me … ” *Editor’s note – Do not both say your wish out loud at the same time. This will cancel out all wish-granting or time-travelling powers from the ghost of John Carroll who will be listening in from the clock tower.*
  27. Take turns sharing the basis, and then nitty-gritty details of the personal essay you submitted in your original Georgetown application.
  28. After taking one minute to dig through your memory bank, tell your partner about the first time that you saw them on campus. Be very honest as you explain what your first impression of your partner was.
  29. Share with your partner when or if this first impression changed.
  30. When was the first time you cried because Georgetown, in all its glory and madness, got the best of you?
  31. Tell your partner what you admire most about them.
  32. What, if anything, do you think Hoyas should care more about?
  33. Imagine that you are at the Lincoln Memorial watching the sunrise on the morning of your graduation. You will never again be surrounded by all your fellow classmates in one spot ever again. What is one thing you regret not having told someone, be they a friend or a face in the crowd who never became anything more?
  34. Why haven’t you told the aforementioned person what you think yet?
  35. Of all your friends, colleagues, professors, Jesuits or four-legged friends on the Hilltop, who are you most afraid of losing, metaphysically or metaphorically?
  36. Stand up and grab your partners’ hands in your own. Set a timer and stare into each others eyes soundlessly for 228 seconds, one for every year of Georgetown’s existence.

Thank you for your participation! Now get over to Tombs and laugh about how silly that was. Or, maybe it wasn’t. Best of luck.

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

Senior Parents Weekend: What’s Up For Auction?

Banner - Auction

Senior Parents Weekend is next weekend! One of the main events of the weekend is the Senior Auction, which takes place on Feb. 6. At this grand event, many items are auctioned off in an effort to raise money for families who can not afford to attend graduation weekend. And, in Georgetown tradition, things tend to get a little out of hand.

Big-Spender

We all know that many Georgetown students/families enjoy the finer things in life, so one could only assume that what will be up for auction is just as crazy. We’ve heard some rumors, started some others. From our research, this is what we assume will be auctioned off:

1. A night in the ICC. 

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Description: DC’s hottest club is the Intercultural Center. Located near Red Square, this hidden gem has faculty offices, SFS secrets and a rocking computer lab. Who wouldn’t want to explore this place for a night?

Estimated Price: The price of one semester of tuition.

2. A trip to the family villa in España.

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Description: Thanks to the donation of Family Z, Georgetown is happy to offer this fabulous villa on the Spanish coast. Houses 10 people, with 8 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms and two infinity pools. May or may not have been featured on House Hunters International.

Estimated Price: Why send two kids to Georgetown when you could spend 5 days at this hotspot!

3. A photo with John DeGioia.

degioia

Description: Get to know this Georgetown celebrity on a more personal level! Plus, this provides you with the best Instagram/Profile Picture/LinkedIn photo in the history of the Internet.

Estimated Price: Likely worth the same as your meal plan.

4. Chicken Finger Thursday in Your Home.

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Description: CFT is a national treasure, so why not enjoy it in style? Package includes the omelet lady (“Get ya chicken fingers…”), all the condiments you could ever want and limitless fry refills.

Estimated Price: The price of a dinner at 1789, at least.

5. The Clock Hands.

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Description: All Georgetown students dream of being “that kid” who steals the clock hands. Now that can be you! This includes an interview with a fake news source, certificate of accomplishment, and never ending fake fame.

Estimated Price: Like you could afford this. Also, shipping is not included.

Are you ready to become a big spender? Or will you just people watch? I can’t wait to see.

Note: Auctioned items are only speculation. We do not have the inside scoop. 

Photos/Gifs: utaran.xyz; The Hoya; president.georgetown.edu; playbuzz.com; twitter.com; popsugar.com, cullinanelaw.com

Stolen Clock Hands: The Suspects

clock tower

For the first time since 2012, the Healy clock hands were stolen two nights ago. While they have since been replaced, who is responsible for the daring theft? Here are 4E’s top five suspects for who committed this most egregious (read: hilarious) crime.

Joe Biden

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Motive: Sign them and say that whoever stole them sent them to him. This would instantly increase his own status as a campus celebrity.
How: The VP attended mass at Dahlgren Chapel on Monday, likely as an opportunity to scout out the front of Healy. Using mass to hide your debauchery, Mr. Vice President?

The manager at Leo’s

Motive: Revenge on the students who steal all of his/her forks (and knives/spoons/dishes/cups).
How: While everyone was all the way across campus using meal swipes at Hoya Court, the manager snuck out of the now-abandoned Leo’s and took the hands. 4E fears that our precious clock hands will be melted into raw metal to replace all the stolen cutlery.

A freshman with a huge crush

Motive: Girl asked, “Can I have the time?”
How: I’m not really sure about this one. Some freshmen still don’t know what Healy is, so it’s impressive that he even knew there was a clock, let alone that its hands were significant.

The GU Rock Climbing Team

dsc_0344Motive: Tired of hearing, “Wait, we have a rock climbing team?”
How: They climb rocks for sport. Scaling the face of Healy? Child’s play.

That a-hole who always steals my spot in Lau

Motive: Because he’s a jerk, that’s why. You know the one.
How: I have no clue, since he has been in my spot in Lau every time I’ve checked.

Whoever the perpetrator is, it was pretty rad of them to steal the clock hands and offer us a little reprieve from the burden of finals season. 4E only hopes they send the hands to someone cool.

Photos: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nbihK0FLU08/T59DdKW-P5I/AAAAAAAAATc/GqpjGki53mc/s1600/clock+tower.jpg; http://boston.barstoolsports.com/; gubulldogblog.wordpress.com

The Healy Clock Hands Are Gone!

Clock Hands Gone

Well, it’s happened — an occurrence that this blogger had only heard of and never seen. Sometime last night, the hands of Healy clock tower went mysteriously missing.

Was it a group of seniors? A weather-related accident? Scheduled maintenance?

According to @HealyClockTower, the last time this occurred was in 2012. The perpetrators tweeted out a variety of prosthetic puns and speculatory posts, as a new set of clock hands were used to replaced the missing ones. For our money, the most amusing aspect was this lovely exchange:

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Since December of that year, @HealyClockTower has remained dormant, but who knows? Should we be expecting more cryptic statements? What will be the university response this time? And more importantly, how will we tell time? Stay tuned.

Photos: Facebook, Twitter

Where in the World are the Real Healy Clock Hands?

The clock hands on Healy Tower were finally put back this morning, but apparently they’re not the ones that were stolen. So while Healy can tell time again, the original hands are still at large. Join us as we consider their possible location.

Vatican City According to tradition, once the hands are stolen they should be sent to the Vatican for a blessing from the Pope, then returned. Hopefully they’re shaking hands with Pope Benedict right about now. But while our alleged clock thieves Reaper, Juliet and Goliath claim that the hands were safely on their way to the Vatican it could just be a ruse to hide their true destination.

London, England To visit Big Ben at Westminster Palace and exchange all the hottest clock-related gossip. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that these famous clocks have been hiding a secret relationship for years. I mean, do we have any proof that they actually go to Italy? For all we know, they could be sharing a plate of fish and chips with Big Ben.

Mecca, Saudi Arabia But if we’re talking impressive clocks, there’s a chance that Healy’s hands are paying a visit to the Mecca Royal Hotel Clock Tower, which is home to the tallest clock tower in the world with the largest clock face, 46 meters in diameter. That’s a whole lot of clock.

New Jersey 90% of Georgetown is from here anyway, maybe the hands just skipped out on finals and headed home, leaving the clock tower to deal with its 19th Century Gothic Architecture final alone.