The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

Secret Service Champagne Conspiracies

Banner - Secret ServiceIf you’ve ever walked down one of Georgetown’s many enchanting streets, you may have noticed one or two black Chevrolet Suburbans parked along O Street a few blocks from the main gates. While the people inside these cars aren’t as friendly as the guy in the white van nearby who always gives me free candy after I help him look for his dog, I wanted to know more. My freshman SFS self last year was astonished to learn that they are actually government officers who protect Secretary of State John Kerry, who happens to be a long time resident of Georgetown:

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Naturally, I was curious and wanted to stalk learn more about them, so when the opportunity to walk along this street presented itself, I took it, and walked by 3322 O St NW. Let’s just say I did some undercover work; I ~disguised~ myself as a “lost college student”:

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I waited on the side of the street opposite from Secretary Kerry’s house for about five minutes. And then it happened. A officer gets out of the driver’s seat side of the car and begins stretching:

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Looked something like this…

I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next (and absolutely had to see what was to transpire), so I pretended I lived at the house across the street by sitting down on the stoop and taking a ~very important phone call~. The stretching officer was then approached by a second officer from a separate car; I vaguely overheard this second officer ask the first if he was “ready,” and then they went towards the trunk of the car sitting closest to the house. Out of the trunk, they pull out a silk bag:

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And out of this silk bag, they then pull a bottle of champagne. A MASSIVE bottle of champagne.

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They then both went into Kerry’s house. At this point my ~very important phone call~ ended and I unfortunately had other places to be (read: the call of an Epi quesadilla was ringing loudly). So, 4E has come up with some conspiracy theories as to what was going on during that fateful night.

  1. Dip Ball was being held here. Considering that Secretary Kerry is the head of all US diplomacy, it is quite possible that they were having their own dip ball and were using the champagne to celebrate. Clearly, the officers weren’t dressed appropriately, though…
  2. It was actually a bottle of wine, sent from none other than the wine connoisseur himself, Donald Trump. We all know how ~successful~ his winery is, and he was just sending a special gift to Kerry, whose presidential campaign Trump supported in past years.
  3. Secretary Kerry was having a moving away party; his house will be up for sale and rumor has it, Georgetown is buying it and will be offering it up in the housing selection process for next year.
  4. As part of the Iranian Nuclear Deal, Secretary Kerry negotiated to get a lifetime supply of champagne. Given his advanced age, this came down to just one large bottle.
  5. They were preparing for their own, debaucherous anti-Dip-Ball.
  6. Secretary Kerry was preparing to imitate this gif:

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, encyclopedia.com, thefederalist.com

New Emojis on the Block

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IOS 9.1 has answered our prayers. According to BuzzFeed, the new update comes with over 150 new emoji characters. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY!!

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These new emojis include:

The “Cheese” emoji: For when you really need a wine & cheese night or when you want to feel cheesy.

The “Taco and Burrito” emojis: Use them together, use them individually. But always use them at Chipotle.

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The “Sign of the Horns” emoji: For the inner biker guy or gal in all of us.

The “Middle Finger” emoji: FINALLY. Our society needed it. Now you can tell that super annoying person in your group chat how you really feel.

The “Popcorn” emoji: Finally, we can signal a movie night without expressing a single word.

The “Nerd” emoji: Very appropriate, given that it is midterms season.

The “Unicorn” emoji: ‘Cause we fancy like that.

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The “Poppin’ Champagne Bottles” emoji: I could have really used this one on the 21st…

The “Red Pepper” emoji: Use it in reference to the band or just a super hot food.

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That is only a few of them! Update to IOS 9.1 and see all the new ways you can express your emotions.

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Photos/Gifs: gifrific.com/; BuzzFeed.com

Chadwicks Is Closing, and Mr. Smith’s Is Taking Its Place

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After Mr. Smith’s announced its closure Monday, the bar today announced plans to move into the Chadwicks space on K Street.

Washington City Paper first reported Mr. Smith’s intentions to close by the end of the month, though the general manager said they were looking for another space in Georgetown. According to Eater DC, now it is Chadwicks that will close on Aug. 31, and Mr. Smith’s that will continue its run in Georgetown.

Luckily, Chadwicks, which has been open since 1967, still has its other location in Alexandria, Va. According to The Georgetown Metropolitan, Mr. Smith’s, which has been around since at least 1962, was forced from its original location on M Street by a rise in the building’s rent.

Obviously we at 4E are upset by this news as it means the end of cheap happy hours and bottomless champagne brunch on the weekends at Chadwicks. But, at the same time, we’re happy to see that a Georgetown institution — Mr. Smith’s — will live on.

Photos: Mr. Smith’s via Washington City Paper, Mikayla Bouchard via The Pursuit of Happy Hour