How to Become a GAAP Weekend Celeb

Dear4E_GAAP

It looks like word of 4E’s wealth of knowledge has spread to the class of 2019. This week we received an email from a senior in high school looking for some advice as he hopes to make the Hilltop his home next year. Seeing as how we’ve all been through this exciting chapter of our lives, we decided to lend this future Hoya a helping hand as he navigates the trials and tribulations of GAAP weekend…

Hey 4E,

I’m currently a senior in high school and was just accepted into Georgetown. Like 90% of other Hoyas I’m from the Dirty Jerz, so it’s safe to say that I think I’ll fit in pretty easily. I also play varsity lacrosse for my high school so I definitely have somewhat of a reputation throughout New Jersey and various parts of the east coast as a total bro. I’m planning on majoring in finance so that I can finally graduate from being a generic high school bro to full on MSBro. Basically, I’m psyched to leave high school behind and move onto the big leagues in college. 

Anyway, my mom is making me go to this GAAP weekend for admitted students in a few weeks and I’m in need of some advice. Everyone knows that Gtown students definitely work hard but for sure play harder. I really want to make a lasting impression during my GAAP weekend so people will still be talking about me when school starts in the fall. How can I make sure that I get an invite to a dope party, and what can I do to crush my GAAP weekend?

— Prescott Sterling III, Beer Pong Extraordinaire 

Dear Prescott Sterling III,

As you’ve probably guessed, GAAP weekend is a pretty big deal. How you act and present yourself throughout its entirety definitely has the potential to dictate how you’ll be spending the greatest four years of your life on the Hilltop. With that being said, securing an invite to a siiiick party and consequentially making a lasting impression is really dependent on several basic criteria.

First off, how you dress will really set the pace for your weekend. Everyone knows that all Georgetown students have incredibly preppy wardrobes, so holding back on your favorite pairs of pastel Vineyard Vines shorts and American flag Chubbies won’t be necessary. Just remember you want to look somewhat put together but still give off the vibe that you’re there for a good time. For real fashion inspiration just take some cues from your dad’s current wardrobe.

The next crucial part of your GAAP weekend that you’ll want to ace is your on campus tour. This will likely be your first opportunity to impress an actual student, so it goes without saying that messing it up will result in you tarnishing your reputation for the next four years. A lot of future Hoyas go into the tours thinking, “Wow, I can’t wait to ask questions about all the neat study spots on campus!” Clearly they’re not doing it right. You want to make an impression on your tour guide, so what better way to do so than by asking some hard-hitting questions? Make sure to ask your tour guide about things like the easiest route to Brown House and the chill to pull ratio of the various frats on campus. Showing your tour guide how cool you are will likely lead to an exclusive party invite, which leads to our next criteria.

After acing your tour and scoring a party invite you’ll be faced with the ultimate challenge: your first college party. Initially you’ll want to blend in with all of the Georgetown students. In order to do so mention relevant things like how bummed you are that Chief Ike’s Mambo Room just closed. The upperclassmen will totally be impressed with how much you already know about D.C. nightlife so you’ll likely earn their respect quickly. Next, after you establish yourself as a real Georgetown bro, you’ll want to up the ante by separating yourself from the run of the mill college students. This step requires some planning as you’ll need to remember to bring your own ping pong balls in order for it to work. Every time you pass a group playing beer pong obnoxiously scream “CELEB SHOT” before using your own pong ball to make a sweet shot. If anyone challenges your actions just flip the table, it’s a total power move.

All in all, if you follow these guidelines you’ll be guaranteed to have the greatest GAAP weekend of your life. You’ll likely create a reputation for yourself before you even arrive on campus in the fall. Legen-wait for it-dary.

Much Respect,

4E

Photos/Gifs: gifilike.com, imgur.com, http://honors.utah.edu/

Manly Mondays: Bros Being Basic on Instagram

manlymondays

One of the tenants of “basicness” is (apparently) an affinity for stereotypical posts on Instagram of things like Starbucks lattes, nature shots and Healy Hall.

For those of you who don’t know, Instagram is a platform that allows, and sometimes encourages, even the most manly bros to sway towards “being basic.”

The quest for likes on a post brings out throwbacks, pet pictures, sunsets and Christmas cards. While I will admit to being guilty to posting (almost) all of the above, someone has decided to compile the most basic bros on Instagram, and I haven’t quite made the cut. I present to you: Bros Being Basic.

This account is made up of fan-submitted pictures, and the bros out there have not disappointed.  Here are some of 4E’s favorite submissions from the broiest bros of the web.

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While most bros will take a solid Christmas card picture with their “boys”, these guys pulled off one of my favorites.

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One of the original submissions to the account, I guess everyone is thankful for Ryan Gosling, even if they won’t admit it publicly.

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Just a couple bros out bro-skating on their bro date. Nothing wrong with that.

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The classic “we are all dressed up nicely, so let’s take a picture of us jumping in the air.” Doesn’t get more “basic” than that. Except…

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Cheesy/heartwarming caption? Check. Matching outfits? Check. Unbelievable sunset and scenery? Check and check.  Could this be the most “basic” photo any bro has ever posted? Possibly. However, they just set the bar incredibly high for what constitutes a good ‘Gram.

Think you and your bros have what it takes to be featured with other Bros Being Basic? Submit a picture to [email protected], and maybe you’ll be featured in a Manly Monday someday.

Photos: Bros Being Basic, Instagram 

Mastering the Movie Night

Movie Night

Every now and then, even the most self-possessed Georgetown students will come to find themselves at the point where they just. Can’t. Even. Whether you’ve been #raging every night or you’ve spent so much time on Lau 5 that you’re starting to develop a fluorescent glow (’cause you know, here on the Hilltop we’re all about the Work-Hard-Play-Hard), what you really need is a healthy dose of downtime. Here at 4E, movie nights are one of our favorite ways to chill out after a long week on the daily grind – and we’re bringing you a list of the best ones, and how to do them right:

The Binge Night

Everything you do on Binge Night must be to absolute excess. Bury yourself in a mountain of pillows, then pick a classic series like Harry Potter or something absurd thrilling like Saw (things really pick up around number IV) and watch it through from start to finish. If you don’t consume at least 4,000 calories – I’m talking a large Domino’s pizza, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s per person, all the Wisey’s cookies (even oatmeal raisin) and a never-ending supply of cool ranch Doritos – you’re doing something wrong. Binge Nights typically end around 4 in the morning, when the last kid standing feebly finds the remote under one of his snoring friends, hits mute and promptly passes out on an empty box of donuts.

Also recommended: the Bourne series, The Fast & The Furious, Mission: Impossible, Transformers, Twilight, Lord of the Rings, the Scary Movies, James Bond

The Disney Night

Coming home to some milk & cookies and a Disney movie is just as satisfying after midterms week as it was back in the 90s after an arduous half-day at kindergarten. Take a trip down memory lane with a timeless pick from the Disney vault like The Lion King, or stay young and hip with the more recent hits like Up, Tangled, and Frozen (FYI: resisting Frozen does not make you cool/hipster). If you’re not into cartoons, there are plenty of awesome Disney Channel Original Movies (#tbt to the kids jumping on the blue film roll) that will make you wish you were ten again, when all your favorite celebs had yet to check into rehab.

Also recommended: Finding Nemo, The Parent Trap, Pocahontas, The Cheetah Girls, High School Musical, The Aristocats, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Holes, The Princess Diaries, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Jungle Book

The Girls’ Night

Girls’ night is romantic comedy central. Grab your closest galpals, bust out the facemasks and copies of Cosmo, and snuggle up to a three-hour gossip sesh/pity party set against the dulcet tones of Dirty Dancing or Sweet Home Alabama. As awesome as Girls’ Night is, tread with care: it will inevitably leave you at best bemoaning the lack of Brads/Leos/Channings in the general DC area, and at worst texting that only semi-attractive kid in your Calc class with the hopes that he might be the Aaron Samuels to your Katie Cady Heron.

Also recommended: The Breakfast Club, Bridesmaids, Step Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, She’s the Man, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, John Tucker Must Die, Pretty Woman, Friends With Benefits

The FTB Night

The male equivalent to the RomCom fest, #ForTheBoys Night involves spending some quality time with your number one bros – no chicks allowed. Testosterone levels will be through the roof once everyone starts doing the Matthew McConaughey Wolf of Wall Street chant in unison whilst snacking on beef jerky.

Also recommended: the Batman trilogy, The Godfather, American Pie, Scarface, Superbad, Pulp Fiction, Inglorious Basterds, Animal House, Wedding Crashers, Remember the Titans, Gladiator

The Cultured Night

Cultured Night is the perfect opportunity for you and your friends to revel in the fact that you’re fancy and intellectual, because hey – you’re in college now! Gather round an obscure indie (or something slightly more mainstream) flick like The Grand Budapest Hotel, and dive into some fair-trade organic Trader Joe’s popcorn (the Kettle Corn is seeerrrriously good). You don’t really gets what’s going on, but you still feel really impressed with yourself because would you look at this artsy movie I’m watching!? If you’re feeling really brave, you might just even go foreign. Did someone say Sundance?

Also recommended: Chef, Rust and Bone, Her, The Master, El laberinto del fauno (Pan’s Labyrinth), Mean Streets, Le scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly)

The Wine Night

For those who are 21 and up, wine can be the perfect complement to a movie night at home.  Just as you drink different kinds of wine with different meals, so too must you carefully choose your grape in accordance with your featured genre.  That said, there is one specific wine-movie pair that stands out above the rest: Reds and Romance.  Let’s face it – it’s a cliché for a reason: crying hysterically over Titanic is so much more rewarding if you’re a little (or a lot) drunk.

Also recommended: The Notebook, Romeo & Juliet, The Last Song, Casablanca, The Fault in Our Stars, The English Patient, P.S. I Love You, The Time Traveler’s Wife

(Note: The principles of the Wine Night can be successfully applied to any of the nights mentioned above).

So those are some of 4E’s tested and approved movie nights. But feel free to gather your friends, grab some snacks and begin your own special movie night tradition!

Gifs: gurl.com, tumblr.com, elitedaily.com, reactiongifs.com; Photo: edu-cdn.com