Welcoming 4E’s Fall Hires!

Every semester, 4E is blessed with a brand new bunch of bloggers! From reading their applications, to laughing at with them during interviews, we had a blast getting to know these students. Learn more about our shining six new bloggers:


Jessica Lin (COL ’21)

Top 5 Best Shows for the Pre-Teen Soul

  1. SpongeBob SquarePants. Objectively everyone’s cartoon of choice. Though some of us may have aged into Squidwards, we’ll always have a soft spot for the shrill yet endearing voice of Bikini Bottom’s most legendary resident. The show is currently on its 11th season. Are ye ready kids?
  2. Drake & Josh. Teen comedy at its finest. We cackled over Josh’s wildly emphatic gestures, harbored a low-key (or even high-key) crush on Drake, and held a begrudging respect for Megan’s hilariously vindictive antics. If ever watching reruns, let’s all hope for the laugh tracks to drown out our reaction to Drake not receiving an invitation to his brutha’s wedding.
  3. Zoey 101. Let’s admit it: we were all a little bitter when our high schools turned out to be nothing like PCA. Maybe it’s not too late to cruise past Healy in a Jet X scooter, though.
  4. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Our OG guilty pleasure. We might have started it just for kicks, but Zuko won us over with his transition to the “good guys” side. Suck it, Fire Nation.
  5. Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Ned, Cookie, Moze: name a more iconic trio. But this time, we probably weren’t too disappointed that our school experience was (hopefully) nothing like Ned’s.

Sam Shapiro (SFS ’21)

Top 5 Presidents I’d Like to Party With

  1. Ike Eisenhower. He’s seen some things. I would definitely be down to hear some wild war stories. Also, he was a cheerleader at West Point. Actually, that’s kinda sus.
  2. Warren G. Harding. Despite being one of the worst presidents of all time, Warren G. must have been the life of the party. He gambled away multiple sets of White House china. He was infertile though, also kinda sus.
  3. Ronald Reagan. I’m talking Hollywood Ronny, SAG President Ronny, vintage Eureka College Ronny. Definitely not War on Drugs Ronald. Definitely not.
  4. John F. Kennedy. He’s so handsome. Like so handsome. Partying with JFK means partying with Jacky O and partying with Marilyn Monroe: two things I’m surely here for. 
  5. Donald Trump. lmao jk. Bill Clinton. This may be the biggest no-brainer of all time. Have we ever had a president so charming. Fuck, have we ever had an American so charming? At some point during the night he’s gonna whip out the saxophone. Then, it’s really going down.

Zayna Nassoura (COL ’20)

Top 5 Pillars of My Life

  1. Long Beach Island. I have been going to LBI for as long as I can remember. It’s part of the Jersey Shore but nothing at all like the tv show. It’s a quaint little island with lots of small shops and art. My time there includes biking, picking up my morning coffee and, of course, Wawa.
  2. O’Bagel. If you’ve never had a New Jersey bagel, you have to! I recommend going to O’Bagel (but other N.J. bagel shops will work). I personally suggest getting a bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain bagel on a Sunday morning.
  3. Khalid. Khalid is my favorite artist of all time. Yes, I know that’s a bold statement considering I didn’t even know who he was a year ago. But I’m telling you, he has changed my life. I have listened to his album “American Teen” nonstop since he came out with it.
  4. New York City. I could spend a whole day in the Met looking at art or in Chelsea gallery hopping. Other days I love going to SoHo and shopping with friends. During the holidays, Broadway and Rockefeller are my go-to stops.
  5. “My People.” This includes my friends and family. For me, weekends at home wouldn’t be the same without my parents blasting music through the speakers, my brother making a new recipe or my other brothers playing on their computer together. I can’t imagine not having sushi and movie nights with my friends or brunch on weekend mornings.

Joanie Castiello (COL ’20)

Top 5 Spreads of All Time (In Order from Greatest to Least Great)

  1. (Crunchy) Peanut Butter
  2. (Perfect Pita Roasted Red Pepper) Hummus
  3. Guacamole
  4. Queso
  5. Nutella

Isabel Roemer (NHS ’21)

Top 5 Things About Being a Freshman at Georgetown

  1. NSO. There’s nothing better than bearing witness to uncomfortable flirtations between awkward and sexually confused 18 year olds. From Convocation to Pluralism in Action, your orientation group has your back—until you promptly begin avoiding eye contact the day after NSO ends. But fear not, the awkwardness pays off with the infamous NSO pregame a couple of weeks later. There are things to look forward to!!!
  2. Club Lau. What better way to introduce yourself to those ~intimidating~ upperclassmen than by getting your groove on at a communal library jam sesh?? No jokes here, I literally danced so hard that water was dripping out of my ponytail by the end of the night. What a unique intro course on how to keep off the freshman fifteen!
  3. #Cawledge #Lyfe. Two days into the semester. I am strutting around campus like the independent college woman that I am. What’s that? Only one class on Mondays AND Wednesdays? Whatever shall I do with my time?? What’s that? Eating Cheez-Its out of a mug and watching celebrity closet tours is not socially acceptable? I guess I’ll just find some club applications to keep myself busy!
  4. Ballin’ on a budget. Only college students can be simultaneously cheap as hell and totally irresponsible with their finances. No, I am not willing to do laundry in the two weeks before it’s free, and again, no, there’s no way I can pass up getting $12 Korean barbecue at the farmer’s market. There’s no compromising here.
  5. New South pregames. Infamous. Unprecedented. So many adjectives I could use to describe these glorious soirées held by the most impressive, confident, sink-owning members of the freshman class. But watch out–if you party too hardy the RA might get wind of your rager and, in a fit of jealousy, snap pictures of you and your best buddies’ GOCards. Will you or won’t you get community service? A question you can agonize over with Shakespearean angst for the rest of the semester.

Elizabeth Park (COL ’21)

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures

  1. Pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while singing: More like yelling/screaming at the top of your lungs to the Spice Girl’s hit song, “Wannabe” — of course acting like the guitarist, drummer and lead singer is highly encouraged.
  2. Planning on making cookies and then just eating the raw cookie dough: Don’t worry, I make the batter without eggs; salmonella doesn’t exactly seem like the most pleasant thing.
  3. Binge-watching all the “High School Musical” movies: (C’mon, I know guys like those too. I’ve seen them secretly jamming out to the soundtrack before.)
  4. Watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos: Okay, I know that these are disgusting. I keep asking myself, “Why do you click on it when you know you’re going to end up cringing from disgust?” But even so, I somehow always end up watching another one.
  5. Eating a Hot Pocket at 2:30 in the morning: Really, eating any sort of microwaveable food that requires the least amount of brain cells to make is great at 2:30 a.m.

We can’t wait to see what our new bloggers will bring this semester and beyond!

Photos: facebook.com, thehoya.com

What To Do This Summer If You Don’t Have an Internship

So now it’s April and you’ve found yourself without an internship. You’re probably asking yourself: what exactly can I do this summer? Well believe it or not, there is plenty more out there than being a Hilltern or interning with your favorite consulting firm. We at 4E have a few ideas of what you could do with your non-internship filled summer.

Let’s begin with some classics. You could take classes, volunteer, work at a local ice cream shop or be a camp counselor.

Read a lot of books. This summer activity is commonly done poolside or at the beach. You could always go for the throwback and catch up on all that summer reading you never did in high school.

But wait, why not write a book? Better yet, why not compile a whole series? Not only will you find a way to pass the summer, but you may even become the next J.K. Rowling in the process.

I call this next category personal start-ups. In this day and age of media, there is so much fun stuff you can create. You could start your own blog: a food blog, a workout blog, a blog for your cat–the options are endless. A meme page could also be your calling, or maybe it’s one of those Twitter accounts where you pretend to be a famous person. Who knows? This summer is your chance to find your social media calling.

Train for an Olympic Summer sport. You may discover you’re actually really talented at canoeing, throwing a javelin or steeplechase. Then you have the whole summer to learn an Olympic sport to begin training for Tokyo 2020!

Challenge yourself. Try every ice cream flavor at every ice cream store within a 25 mile radius of where you are spending the summer. This activity will take a lot of perseverance, money and a very strong stomach. But we believe in you and advise you to always order a large small.



Start your coursework for Fall 2017. It’s never too early to begin your 1000s of pages of readings.
Okay this one is just too ridiculous. Please don’t do this.

Learn the fight song. Patrick Ewing was just announced as the new Men’s Basketball Coach, so you might want to go to a basketball game next season! Prepare yourself. And, if learning the song doesn’t take the whole summer, you can always learn the alma mater too.

Never leave your house. Not once. This will take lots of dedication and a long list of either books to read, shows to watch or walls to stare at, but you’re a Hoya and thus can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Note: if you do in fact write a book, become a successful blogger, or eat at every ice cream shop within a 25 mile radius, please let us know, as we would like thanks and partial credit for your achievement.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, disney-planet.fr

Five Unbelievable Kitchen Appliances

It is time to step up your game (your kitchen game, that is). The microwave is no longer the cool kid on the block and it’s time to invest in some unbelievable gadgets that will let you eat like the queen that you are.

1. Pineapple Slicer

Pineapples are definitely the cheapest and most underrated fruits of the century. Unfortunately, with the excessive amount of time you need to actually carve one, it is no wonder why college students don’t eat more pineapples. But, this awesome slicer literally takes all of the difficulties out of getting to the meat of the fruit. Next time when you’re checking out that one friend’s travel post, you can feel a little more tropical by feeding yourself some spiraled pineapple slices.

2. I Could Eat a Horse

Unless you’re a mathematician or a magician, I don’t see how you can possibly estimate how much pasta to make. I always make too little and end up eating snacks because boiling water twice is too much hassle. Well, take the math away and use this measurer which bases the amount on whether you’re hungry enough to eat a horse or not. The answer is always yes.

3. Giant Vegetable Pencil Sharpener

You are straight up lying if you tell me you don’t want one of these to ease the laborious activity of actually peeling vegetables. Plus, you can make decorative shavings to add onto your own salads and skip the overpriced ones at Sweetgreen.

4. One Click Butter Dispenser

I love butter. I can eat a tube in three days. As a self-proclaimed butter lover, it is really a big pain when you have to cut slices for yourself and the wrapping is already greasy from the last time you used it. It’s also hard to resist the urge to eat the whole tube. Why not use this dispenser and take the hassle away from buttering up your life?

5. Cinnibird Pen

We’ve all seen the cheesy latte art photos on Instagram and rolled our eyes at it, secretly wondering how we can gain this amazing skill. Well, wonder no more. The Cinnibird allows you to use cinnamon and other spices to draw on your lattes. No more $20 cushy coffees just for the photo op.

Sources: giphy.com, amazon.com, brit.co, oliarts.com, pcrichard.com

Top Blog Articles of 2015: Editors’ Picks

UntitledHere at The Fourth Edition, we’ve had a great year.  Before we start bloggin’ 2016 away, we’d like to take a little trip down memory lane with a list of our top posts of 2015.  We’ve covered everything from the Pope’s visit this past fall to helping freshmen find their way to Brown House, and everything in-between.  Thank you to everyone for a great year, and without further ado here are our editors’ top picks:

  1. “Secret Societies at Georgetown: An Expose”:  We brought this news to you first!  Secret societies are taking over Georgetown in the masses, and they’re doing everything from stealing staples to forming avocado cults.
  2. “A Freshman’s Guide to Getting in Parties”: Navigating parties as a freshman is a challenging task.  The upperclassmen are less than thrilled to host your entire New South floor in their tiny townhouse, and you’re more than excited to sip on jungle juice in their dingy basements.
  3. “If You Lead a Freshman to Brown House…”: To the current occupants of Brown House, we’re sorry.  While it was inevitable that the freshman class would their find their way to your humble abode, we apologize for the role we may have played in accelerating this process.
  4. “How 4E Lost it”: It seems like blogs across campus are writing about losing a lot of things this semester!  What exactly is “it?”  Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out.
  5. “Five Types of People Running for GUSA Senate”: Let’s be real, you know a person who fits each description exactly.  Note: You may want to re-read this article to prep for the upcoming GUSA presidential elections next semester!
  6. “Friday Fixat10s: The Soundtrack to Your First Freshman Crawl”: Whether you cried to this playlist or opted to take a cheerier trip down memory lane with a #tbt pre-game, these tracks definitely brought back a lot of memories.  Memories which were mostly filled with over-crowded Village B apartments and warm Natty…
  7. “It Happens Here”: Following the publications of the stories of Willa Murphy and Olivia Hinerfeld, 4E shared a photo series detailing experiences of several survivors of sexual assault at Georgetown.  This piece was a demonstration of solidarity with all victims of sexual assault across the Hilltop.

As you can tell, 2015 was an incredible year.  Thank you to all of our readers, and here’s to an even better year of blogging in 2016!

Photos/Gifs: capytech.com, buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

The 5 Things You’ll Experience When You Join 4E

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Attention: Funny and cool writers of Georgetown

4E wants you to join the inner circle write for us. Our application can be found here and it’s due September 15. So you should probably get on that if you want your life to be infinitely better.

If my natural wit and cunningness isn’t enough to make you apply, maybe my explanation of what you’ll experience as part of 4E will.

If you join 4E…

1.You will be forced to sing CoCo by O.T. Genasis around 5 million times. Because baking soda. (Note: We have no baking soda.)

2.You will become one of the loudest people in Hoya Court, because that is where we hold our meetings and because we are a loud group of people and tend to rub off on each other.

3.You will become a keeper of some of the most entertaining rumors on the Hilltop. The 4E staff knows all. We knew about Epi before it became a thing. #insiders

giphy4.You will become proficient in gifs. And list making. And writing about Lau. All important skills that may get you a job in the future. (Disclamer: 4E cannot ensure employment.)

5.You will meet and hopefully become friends with some of the funniest and kindest people on the Hilltop. 4E sticks together, who wouldn’t want to be part of that?

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Think you can deal with that? Send in that application. Guac might be involved.

Photos/Gifs: gifsgallery.com; giphy.com

Meet Our New Bloggers

new bloggers

This week, 4E added seven wonderful new bloggers to our staff. We had a blast meeting and interviewing our newest writers, and now it’s time for you to meet them, too:

Drew Applebaum (COL ’17)

drew

Top 5 WWE Wrestlers of All Time: 
5. John Cena: While Cena is clearly the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, I can’t justify putting him above five because of his stale character as well as having years left in his career.
4. Ric Flair: Not a lot of people have heard of Flair, but the 16-time world champ deserves a spot on this list. “The Nature Boy’s” pretty boy look with long blonde hair and sparkling robes was a character that he executed to perfection, while being a great technician in the ring.
3. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: Everyone knows The Rock thanks to his Hollywood success, but The Rock honed that charisma in the squared circle and had great success in the WWE golden days.
2. Hulk Hogan: Hulkamania brother. The Hulkster has been right at the top of popularity from when he started wrestling in the 60’s, until even today. He would absolutely be number 1, if it weren’t for perhaps the most influential wrestler of all time…
1. Stone Cold Steve Austin: Not a lot of people know who he is, and he may not have the gaudy championship numbers like Flair or Cena, but The Texas Rattlesnake is the most influential, important and entertaining wrestler. He dominated the golden years of the “Attitude Era” in the 90’s. Story lines and injuries are the only reason this extremely skilled wrestler does not have more championships, but few people have been more important to the WWE.

Maeve Cleary (COL ’17)

maeve

If I could live in any one place on campus, I would live in Leo O’Donovan’s On the Waterfront (otherwise known as “Leo’s”). No brainer. Oh, where do I start? I can go on and on about Leo’s most wonderful characteristics. For starters, it is the closest you will come to a 5-star meal in ~the district~. I mean, who doesn’t love cold baked sweet potatoes, mushy green beans drowning in salt water and plain white rice?! Oh, and even more, who doesn’t love spending $2,000 a year for such a divine eating experience?! Oh right, ME. I absolutely loathe Leo’s. I trek to Leo’s as infrequently as possible; oftentimes we go several weeks without seeing one another. And really, the inevitable reunion is quite possibly one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. Just in case you were considering treating yourself to a meal at Leo’s today, please, for the sake of your own life satisfaction, do not. But without further ado, I will answer your question truthfully. If I could live in any one place on campus, I would choose Gaston Hall in Healy to be my home. It is exceptionally beautiful, it is centrally located on campus and most importantly, it has been graced by the presence of countless amazing individuals… cough, Bradley Cooper, Kevin Spacey… So if anyone is looking for a new roomie and would like to move into my Gaston Hall palace next fall, just let me know!!

Jenna Clifford (SFS ’18)

Jenna

Top 5 Top 5 Lists:
1. Top 5 throwbacks to sing at the top of your lungs (Bust a Move can be screamed if remembered, She Will Be Loved will always be a classic)
2. Top 5 best kept secrets of Leo’s (taking fancy bread from upstairs and making a plate of oil, parmesan and oregano dip downstairs)
3. Top 5 roof views on campus (Regents is arguably even better than Reiss and not that hard to get to)
4. Top 5 things to do instead of go for a run (watch 5 episodes of “New Girl”, the 26-minute “Astronaut Nap”)
5. Top 5 awkward ways to reject a date (turn it into a “friendly dinner,” or if asked for phone number respond “I don’t have a cellphone” while hiding the phone that was in your hand.)

Joyce Connolly (COL’ 18)

joyce

Top Five Words You Won’t Believe Were Added to the Oxford English Dictionary:
1. Amazeballs: As if the adjective “amazing” just wasn’t enough.
2. Ego-surfing: Now you can use “ego-surfing” to capture those weak moments when you look yourself up on Google.
3. Grrrl: Is it really a word anyway if there’s no vowel?
4. YOLO: Who would have thought Drake would make his way into the Oxford English Dictionary?
5. Hate-watch: Is it just me who is completely foreign to the concept of watching a show that you hate?

Tori Forelli (COL’ 18)

tori

I would love to live in the bell tower of Healy. Now I know this might seem like a strange response to the given question because Healy is in fact not a dorm, but nevertheless I would love to live there. Living in the bell tower, I would have the best view on campus, and would literally be at the highest point on the Hilltop, which I believe would automatically make me the king of the hill. This location would also allow me to frequently steal the clock hands or observe all the attempts made. Sure, the constant ringing of bells in my ear could seem like a potential problem, but in fact I believe that it might be the only force in the world strong enough to wake me up for that 8:00 am Spanish class I signed up for. Now, I know that the bell tower life is not for everyone, but after watching “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” several times, I think I have what it takes.

Shakeema Gonzalez (COL’ 17)

Shakeema

Top 5 Scariest Feelings:
1. When you’re walking on a slippery sidewalk and you feel the heel of your shoe start to slip but you catch yourself just in time not to fall, which is probably more scary than falling itself.
2. “Did you know there was a back to the worksheet?”
3. Pop Quizzes.
4. Being cold-called in class (IT’S SYLLABUS WEEK C’MON).
5. 5 missed calls from Mom.

Marina Smith (COL’ 18)

marina

The Top 5 Times I Have Embarrassed Myself at Georgetown (thus far!):
I have a propensity for embarrassing myself. Luckily, it happens often, so I am well versed in handling awkward and uncomfortable situations (Step 1: Buy several cartons of Ben & Jerry’s). Despite having only completed one semester at Georgetown, I have discovered several innovative and exciting ways to experience deep embarrassment. Try one of these methods, and you too can be laughed at for years to come!
1. The time I decided it would be a good idea to do laundry in my bathrobe, locked myself out of the building and walked around a good portion of campus because I had no idea where I was. Freshman protip: try this one if you are looking to make a good first impression on upperclassmen!
2. The time I was trying to take a picture of lightning and proceeded to fall on my face. Don’t judge me, I’m from California. We don’t have weather there.
3. The time I was trying to be a good person and stop someone from drunk driving but it turned out that they were getting into an Uber. Sorry, profoundly confused and probably terrified Uber driver!
4. The time I spent two days telling my friends how good I was at using the Metro and then wound up hopelessly lost somewhere in Maryland.
5. The time I unintentionally parkoured off the treadmill in Yates. It may or may not have been in front of the entire men’s crew team.

Photos: Facebook

Wednesday Fixat10ns: Our Blunger Games Party Edition

Wednesday FixationsHi, y’all. Happy Wednesday. I hope your Hump Day is passing along smoothly, and I hope your first full week of classes is going splendidly. I’d also like to strongly urge you to apply to The Hoya and, more specifically, to 4E. When you do, you’ll get to write fun posts like this one and go to parties with us. *shameless self-promotion*

Speaking of, 4E is actually having a little party this weekend. It’s going to be Hunger Games-themed and we’re calling it the Blunger Games (Get it? Blog + Hunger Games?). It’s probably going to look like this:

hunger_games_single_ladies_funny1

P.S. You aren’t invited.

But even though you can’t join us for the endless amounts of fun and shenanigans that we will engage in this fin de semana, we didn’t want you to leave here empty-handed. That’s why we made this playlist for you. Usually we do this on Fridays, but that’s when we’re having our party. Sorry, not sorry.

We’re going to use this at our Blunger Games rager. You can use it whenever you’d like:

1. The Hanging Tree (DIA Plattenpussys Edit) — Jennifer Lawrence We’re going to start the night with this one because it’s from the Mockingjay soundtrack and the remix will get us hyped for battle. Also, who knew Jennifer Lawrence was such a phenomenal singer?

2. Hungry Like The Wolf — Duran Duran Obviously at the Hunger Games, people are hungry. At the Blunger Games, we are Hungry Like The Wolf.

3. Tainted Love — Soft Cell This song really seems to hit at the heart of the whole Peeta-Katniss relationship drama. So I added it.

4. I Knew You Were Trouble — Taylor Swift Yup. President Snow, this one’s for you.

5. Boss A** B**** — Nicki Minaj featuring PTAF This is how Katniss must feel every time she hits somebody with a flaming arrow.

6. Here In Your Arms — Hellogoodbye Here’s another one for Katniss and Peeta. Or do I mean Katniss and Gale? (The world will never know.) Also, I never got over my angsty phase in middle school.

7. I Will Survive — Gloria Gaynor Number one objective at the Blunger Games: Survival.

8. ***Flawless (featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche) — Beyoncé Remember that part where Katniss is on the TV show and she spins around and her dress lights on fire like she’s some volcano? Good, because I’m sure she had this song in her head while it was happening.

9. Coco — Gnash (O.T. Genasis Cover) This one goes out to our Deputy Editor, Courtney “Coco” Klein. It will also provide us with a nice respite from all the violence of the Games.

10. All I Do Is Win — DJ Khaled featuring Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain and Snoop Dogg In the Blunger Games, as in life, there are losers. But not my Blunger Games team. We are going to win.

Yep, that’s about it. Happy Wednesday.

Just to reiterate: You’re not invited to our party this weekend, but maybe you will be next time if you join us! So do it. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos: car-memes.com; bodysmartinc.com; hottopic.com

The New Bloggers Are Here!

new bloggers

Meet the new 4E bloggers because they’re awesome people, you’re about to be reading a lot of their uproarious posts and what else is there to do on a Sunday night?

Michaela Murphy (SFS ’16)michaela

The 5 Most Profound Rap Lyrics of the Ages:

1. “My wrist deserve a shout out I’m like what up wrist” – 2 Chainz, “Fork”
In giving his wrist that simple “what up,” the distinguished lyricist 2 Chainz defies our expectations. He doesn’t aim for classic subtle rap allusion that incorporates ambiguous street terms, but tells it straight, directly addressing his wrist in casual greeting.

2. “Good googly moogly that thang is juicy” – Project Pat, “Good Googly Moogly”
What exactly is juicy? And why googly moogly? What about “Good grief?” or “Good gracious?” By using “googly moogly”, perhaps Pat is implying more than we can ever know. The genius is that Project Pat will always keep us wondering.

3. “Iced out ring, iced out chain, Ellen DeGeneres, you’re so generous” – Lil B, “Ellen DeGeneres”
Playing off of DeGeneres with “generous?” Brilliant. Did Ellen give Lil B the iced out chain? Is that why she’s generous? We can only hope so.

4. “Hologram on my hand gave me a tanned wrist / Diamonds dancing on my fist look like a blank disc / Teriyaki suit with the lemon Fanta / Heavyweight, heartburn, My lanta” –Riff Raff, “Cuz My Gear”
Not much one can say here.

5. “This one’s a beast, but way too wonderful to be compared to an animal, she’s like what I’m sippin’ on … Shirley temple on ice” — Akon, “Day Dreaming”
A great qualifying phrase. Props to Akon for clarifying that he wasn’t trying to be degrading.

Sara Carioscia (COL ’17)

sara

The average Georgetown student’s spirit animal is Jennifer Lawrence.

Like Georgetown students, Jennifer Lawrence is very capable of excelling in trying circumstances (maintaining composure alongside Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook could not have been easy). JLaw constantly defends her beliefs, which is a main tenet of Georgetown life. She once said it should be illegal for someone to be called “fat” on television. Similarly, Georgetown students constantly fight for understanding and cohesion on campus.

JLaw is seemingly perfect, but exceptionally self-deprecating (recall interviews in which she has revealed personal details or opinions of herself, such as the asymmetry of her breasts and her self-classification as an “obese actress.”) The typical Georgetown student acts similarly. I constantly hear kids say, “I’m not a great writer,” “Math isn’t my strong subject,” “This isn’t my best work,” etc. Meanwhile they won a statewide essay contest, scored 780 on the Math SAT and are about to graduate magna cum laude.

Catherine McNally (NHS ’17)

catherine

The Top 5 Party Picture Poses (and what they say about you):

1. The Skinny Arm
You may be in a sorority or you may not, but one thing is clear: you want to look good. Even when you’re posing in the middle of a Village B apartment filled wall-to-wall with people you don’t know, your main concern will always be embracing your inner Sasha Fierce.

2. The Sun out, Tongue out
You like to party and you want everyone to know just how rowdy you can get. The sun doesn’t even have to be out to warrant this pose because you really are that much of a party animal (but hey, I needed to make it sound catchy).

3. The Casual Peace Sign
This pose could really be interpreted in a variety of ways. For example, you could be a tween girl anxiously waiting outside of a Justin Bieber concert or you could just be throwing it up in ironic reverence of your Myspace days. In either case, you do you.

4. The Number 1
This one is pretty self-explanatory, you’re number one and you know it. Now what you did to earn this ranking, no one quite knows. But that doesn’t matter to you, so keep on throwing up that index finger.

5. The Power Point
You’re the Big Man on Campus and you want everyone to know it. This pose is sort of complementary to the “Skinny Arm” and is oftentimes the go-to pose for true bros.

Elizabeth Harvey (COL ’17)

elizabeth

5 Best Songs to Blast in the Shower

1. “She Will Be Loved” – Maroon 5
I’m not sure what I love most about this song – Adam Levine’s semi-feminine voice, the beautiful lyrics, or its ability to somehow convince you that you’re an amazing singer. You’re not.

2. “Irreplaceable” – Beyoncé
This is an anthem – and it’s only complete if you add some sassy finger-pointing and shampoo bottle-brandishing. “Single Ladies” or “Drunk In Love” are also viable options.

3. “The Middle” – Jimmy Eat World
Warning: Excessive rowdy jumping as induced by this song can lead to serious injury. Proceed with caution.

4. “Complicated” – Avril Lavigne
Let the mascara run down your cheeks, ‘cause this shower just reached a whole new level of angst.

5. “The Scientist” – Coldplay
Feel free to cry – no one can tell through the steam.

Honorable Mention: “Piano Man” – Billy Joel

cristinaserraCristina Serra (SFS ’17)

Top 5 Responses to “I’m from Guatemala.”

1. My gardener (nanny/maid/butler) is from there!

2. I love Mexico!

3. I don’t get how you can be born in Guantanamo Bay. Isn’t that illegal or something?

4. Wow, I’d love to live on an island. So breezy.

5. Is that divided in tribes? Or, like, chiefdoms?

Meg Lizza (COL ’17)

meg

The hyena is the spirit animal of Georgetown

Blatantly underrated in the animal kingdom, yet a complicated and highly intelligent creature, the hyena is most definitely the spirit animal of Georgetown. Sorry Jack, but the hyena embodies the competitive and clever nature that most Hoyas have. Although they are very hard workers, hyenas usually scavenge off other animals in order to survive. Like hyenas, most Georgetown students could not have gotten to where they are now without leaning on their parents and other support systems. Thank you, mom and dad, I am forever grateful. Hyenas also have extremely evolved and diverse social groups. Unsurprisingly, Georgetown offers an array of social groups that are all complex and unique in their own way. Hyenas are very familial, in that they are prideful and loyal to their group. At Georgetown, we are all about that Hoya Saxa, “It’s been so long since last we met”, bleeding Hoya blue spirit. Next time you think hyenas are a competitive herd of scavengers, think again, because there is more to them than meets the eye … and you’re basically one of them.

Photo: 4E’s stellar stalker team

Meet the New Bloggers!

New BloggiesThis week, 4E added eight talented bloggers to our staff. We had a blast meeting and interviewing our newest writers, and now it’s time for you to meet them, too:

AlexisAlexis Oni-Eseleh (COL ’16)

Top Five Sassiest Ways to End an Argument:

1. “GURRRL BYE.” Commit to the “URRRL” in “GURRRL” or it’s pointless.

2. “OVER IT.” Subsequently strut out of the room to “Diva” by Beyoncé.

3. “UNSUBSCRIBE.” Must be used on someone who is social media savvy.

4. Invest in a magic smoke clouds for swift, unexpected exits.

5. Play Miley Cyrus’s 2013 VMA Performance. That will shut anyone up.

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Camille

Camille Dirago (NHS ’16)

If you could invent anything for only Georgetown students, what would it be and why?

If I could invent one thing for Georgetown students to use, it would most likely be some kind of contraption to make the numerous amounts of stairs and hills on our campus less daunting to climb. Don’t get me wrong, I love our position on top of the hill, but when my backpack is heavier than I am and I have to walk up the hill from Leo’s to Lau, I would probably do anything for some king of ski-lift-like device to make the hike less painful. It could work just like any other ski-lift, and it would provide an awesome view of the river and surrounding areas on the way. Not to mention that it would also make our campus much more handicap-friendly!

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CharlieCharlie Wathieu (COL ’17)

If you could invent anything for only Georgetown students, what would it be and why?

1. I would invent a zip-line from the top of Village A across the Potomac to Virginia. Awesome (but useless).

 2. I’d also invent a zip-line from the top of the clock tower of Healy to Five Guys on Wisconsin (for the nights you can’t quite make it).

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DJD.J. Angelini (MSB ’17)

The Top Five Ways to Procrastinate on That Essay for One More Hour:

1. Learn how to wall twerk from YouTube tutorials that look like they were filmed using a Nokia phone from the early ’90s.

2. Peruse the Internet for in-depth cinematic reviews of the Beyoncé visual album (and possibly write your own?).

3. Walk to Five Guys at 3 a.m. (or take Charlie’s zip-line) to reward yourself for opening up a Word document, writing your name and saving the progress.

4. Live tweet a dramatic episode of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

5. Go to Yates with the intent to work out but really sit and stare in envy at the people who were bold enough to play ping-pong instead.

(All have been personally tested and have been deemed completely effective.)

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EmilyEmily Min (NHS ’16)

Top Five Reasons Everyone Should Drink Juice

1. The variety is insane. Yeah, you can have five or six kinds of Coke but there are at least eight different flavors of Juicy Juice alone! And they don’t even have cran-raspberry!

2. You can drink it and feel like you’re being healthy … just don’t read the nutrition facts.

3. It’s a great chaser/mixer/hangover-helper/cure to everyone’s problems.

4. Buster Bluth loves it. #offthehook

5. Chance The Rapper devoted a whole song to it! Wait … that’s not what “Juice” is about? Never mind.

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KyleKyle Murphy (COL ’17)

What’s an adventure that you’ve been on recently?

This one time, at band camp, we weren’t supposed to have pillow fights, but we had a pillow fight, and it was so much fun. And this one time, we all lost our music, and we were supposed to play this song, but we didn’t know it, so we just made it up and we kept playing and playing, and the conductor didn’t know what we were doing, and it was so funny.

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LupitaLupita Humbert (COL ’17)

If you could invent anything for only Georgetown students, what would it be and why?

I would invent an invisibility cloak. In Harry Potter language, “an invisibility cloak is a magical garment which renders whatever it covers unseeable. They may be made from hair of Demiguise, a magical creature that possesses the power to become invisible. This property is used to make the wearer of the cloak invisible.”

And why an invisibility cloak? Well, for five main reasons:

1. To enter Gaston Hall undetected when Warren Buffet, Hilary Clinton or Laura Bush are going to give a speech, without having to get in line before 5 a.m.

2. To explore the sinister underground tunnels where secret societies are said to gather, without being caught by anyone who could get you into trouble.

3. To have a free-from-ID pass to enter Tombs on any given Tuesday for Trivia Night if you are not yet 21.

4. To be able to take 20 or more cookies from Leo’s without being yelled at by the lady in the dining hall entrance.

5. To enter any building, especially our beautiful Lau, without having to swipe the GoCard that I probably left in my dorm that day or lost the previous night.

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SydneySydney Bolling (COL ’16)

Top Five Ways to Stick to Your Workout Plan

1. Get the Netflix app on your phone. Go on the elliptical or walk on the treadmill while watching your favorite shows. You might still be watching TV, but at least you’re moving around. Self conscious about watching Netflix at Yates? Go to the back by the mats for some privacy, and watch those cute boys lift weights while you’re at it.

2. Buy yourself some new workout paraphernalia; you’ll need to use it in order to justify your purchase.

3. Find your most athletic friend and tell them you want to go on a run together. They’ll bug you about it until you cave. Bonus points: Hit up Sweetgreen on the way back for a post-workout meal.

4. Get a Yates class pass. There are some awesome classes out there for every fitness level. Relax with some yoga or go hard in spinning – it’ll be worth it in the end.

5. Go on Pintrest and find a motivational quote. Put it on your door and eventually you’ll guilt yourself into putting on those sneakers.

The 4 Things You Absolutely Must Do Today (or by Jan. 17)

So+much+doge+_2ec24532e24abb4835551a2f6d29116cThis is the most important thing you’ll do all semester, possibly in your entire lifetime. We’ve laid it out for you, nice and easy.

1. Go to The Hoya website.Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.49.05 PM

2. Click the “Join The Hoya” tab.

Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.51.32 PM

3. Apply to be a writer for us at The Fourth Edition.Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.50.58 PM

4. When you’re done, you’ll feel like this:

booyah

There. Easy as pie. Applications for The Hoya are officially out now (and they’re due Jan. 17). Here’s the link again, just in case. Apply now, and you won’t regret it.

Photos/Gifs: sustainabilityatspu.wordpress.com, forum.warthunder.com