Diary of a SWUG: The 10 Commandments of Tombs

Banner - Tombs CommandmentsEleven days ago marked the 99th day before graduation (cue tears). Now, we are down to 88. How scary is that? 88 more days until I am officially irrelevant (Read: irrelevant here, I will always be relevant). To keep you in the loop (and keep myself in check) I will be doing a series of posts focusing on these last 99 days. Join me on an adventure of Tombs, thesis writing and goodbyes. Is it too late now to say sorry?

For those of you who don’t know, for the last 99 days of school, Tombs hosts an event called “99 Days.” Basically, for 99 straight days, (some) Georgetown seniors will visit and buy something at Tombs. Those who succeed get all the glory and an empty bank account.

For my first installment, I will be presenting the ~10 Commandments of Tombs~. While these are not written down anywhere, they are certainly true and worth committing to memory:

^Basically, I am channeling this. Take notes, my friends.

Commandment #1: Thou shall not yell at the bartender (especially if its Jon). The bartender (barkeeps? therapists?) are your friends, so treat them with kindness and maybe you will get some special treatment. Also, they are people. Calm your chill, get off your high horse and join the rest of us. It is a bar, it is going to be crowded.

Commandement #2: Thou shall request songs. Not all the DJs know what your #currentjam is, so you probably should let them know. And, don’t take no for an answer. If you want to hear “My Shot” from Hamilton the Musical, you should be able to hear it (Note: everyone should also hear it).

Commandment #3: Thou shall not steal coats. Come on people, this isn’t Brown House. Aren’t we adults (or at least quasi-adults) now? It is cold out and there is no way that I am ubering back to my house after droppin’ so much money at Tombs.

Commandment #4: Thou shall not arrive too early on a weekend. Okay, this is more of a personal rule. The earlier you get there, the longer you are going to have to wait until you can dance. Personally, I love to dance and I believe having to wait is a crime. As much as I love all my friends, there comes a point when sitting in a booth can get a little tiring.

Commandment #5: Thou shall take advantage of all the drink deals. Being 21+ is expensive, as we have all realized. Tombs has so many drink deals, so why not save money where you can? Plus, if you are doing 99 days, you can still check in if you split pitchers and wine, FYI.

Commandment #6: Thou shall make friends with all of the adults who visit Tombs to relive their glory days. Whether your parents are in town or a wedding just let out, these adults want nothing more than for you to have a good time. Never turn down the opportunity to get some free drinks, or fries. Both are important.

Commandment #7: Thou shall not judge people on the dance floor. I’ve been advocating for a no-judgement zone on the Tombs dance floor for a while now. Whatever happens, happens. We only have a few more months to make fools of ourselves at this place. Does anyone care that much?

Commandment #8: Thou shall actually go to Tombs during the day. It can be easy to forget that Tombs is a restaurant with pretty awesome food. Instead of picking up ‘za at Pizzeria Paradiso, grab a Hoya Salad at Tombs. Or, just go for brunch. Because what is better than brunch?

Commandment #9: Thou shall be aware of what time it is. The worst thing about a night at Tombs is when you forget what time it is and end up the only one of your friends on the dance floor. Things can get hazy down at Tombs, so make sure you actually know when your friends are leaving so you aren’t stuck walking home at closing time.

Commandment #10: Thou shall have fun, no matter what. So you got into a fight with your friend. So some girl spilled her drink on you. It is my personal belief that these are some of the moments we are going to miss the most. Don’t let the little things keep you from enjoying the memories.

Stay tuned for my #knowledge in the coming weeks. That is, once I figure out my life a little more.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, youtube.com, collegeranker.com

11 New Years Resolutions We’ve Already Broken

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“New year, new me.” We’ve all heard it; hopefully none of us says it (because, lame). Some of us make New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are some variation of “get my crap together.” Here are some you’ve definitely already broken:

Watch Less Netflix
But New Girl is coming back (and it’s with Megan Fox). And there’s another season of Parks and Recreation. And there might be a new season of Arrested Development.

Get Eight Hours of Sleep Every Night
Your first Netflix binge undid this one quite quickly.

Exercise Everyday
Like, sure, but it’s 19 degrees and the gym is a seven-minute walk from my dorm.

Quit Gossiping
But your ex’s new bae is a major downgrade and your former best friend got rejected from her dream job. Grab a roommate, a bottle and some glasses and get chatting.

Drink Less Alcohol
“You don’t need alcohol to have fun.” You also don’t need running shoes to run, but it really helps.

Drink More Water
Hydration is important, but champagne is cheap, coffee is caffeinated and wine is social.

Be Less Stressed
With 5 classes, internships, job applications, social obligations, best friends, rivals, family…it’s impossible. Keep stalking your ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page and try again next year.

Stop Twerking
Lets face it: you probably broke this one moments after you toasted in the New Year.

Quit Judging People
You helped your friends break this one the second you started twerking at the New Year’s party.

Spend More Time With Family
“How are your classes?” “Are you seeing someone?” “What are you doing after graduation?” Lol, bye.

Spend Less Time Online
You’re reading this. You lose.

Resolutions don’t help, and you’re probably already great anyway. If you have any resolutions still standing, best of luck achieving them, Hoyas!

Photo: youtechassociates.com, giphy.com

101 Thankful Things

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Gratitude is always important, but we recently celebrated an entire day dedicated to it. And there are lots of things to love: turkeys, colorful leaves, family…the usual.

We at 4E have compiled a list of 101 things that Georgetown students are and should always be grateful for:

  1. That one time my professor tore into that know-it-all when she said wrong things
  2. Professors who ignore the instructional continuity policy
  3. Roommates who don’t suck
  4. The Instagram “gufreshmendoingthings”
  5. Inattentive student guards
  6. Free food
  7. Free t-shirts
  8. Student discounts
  9. Getting a table in lau
  10. Leaving lau
  11. Not having to go to lau
  12. Club Lau
  13. The really nice security guard in lau who doesn’t judge me for always leaving lau really late
  14. Netflix
  15. Netflix and chill
  16. What happens after Netflix and chill
  17. Being featured in Georgetown’s Instagram
  18. The girl who lends me a chair from her table so that I can put my feet up
  19. Dogs
  20. Let me say that again: dogs
  21. T Sweets
  22. Christmas lights
  23. The “share location indefinitely” feature on the iPhone
  24. Brown house
  25. Slutty brownies
  26. Friends who distract you via text message while you’re in a boring class
  27. Georgetown basketball
  28. Professors who are chill
  29. Professors who care
  30. Free Chipotle
  31. When the guy at Chipotle doesn’t remind me that the guacamole costs extra
  32. Guacamole
  33. Beyonce
  34. Friends who make you food
  35. Friends who actually return the stuff they “borrow”
  36. When the pasta line at Leo’s isn’t eight miles long
  37. The “doge” meme
  38. First dates
  39. Second dates
  40. What even is a third date?
  41. Brunch
  42. Drunk brunch
  43. Not throwing up at drunk brunch
  44. The friend that patted my back after throwing up at drunk brunch
  45. Tequila
  46. The Harbin security guard that let me back in without a GoCard when I left the building in my pajamas to pick up the Mai Thai I had ordered for the fourth time that week
  47. Happy hour(s)
  48. Nutella
  49. When the Metro is on time
  50. When the GUTS bus is on time #rare
  51. Finding your wallet and purse safe and your phone fully charged despite not knowing how you got home
  52. Losing your phone and having someone you don’t know find it in their freezer
  53. Awkward times in class when you are placed in a group project with a Tinder match
  54. Cancelled classes
  55. Todd Olson
  56. Jack DeGioia
  57. When the other person cancels plans first so you don’t have to
  58. Sweetgreen
  59. The bread at Sweetgreen
  60. Parks and Recreation
  61. Donald Trump’s hairspray
  62. When the professor forgets to pass around the attendance sheet the day you skip
  63. Heely’s
  64. Hoverboards
  65. Friends with free MSB printing
  66. Kylie Jenner’s Snapchat stories
  67. When your Safeway order shows up on time
  68. When they don’t include rotten avocados in your Safeway order
  69. The one crazy dude who carries on class discussions in Problem of God
  70. Georgetown sunsets
  71. When randos let you pet their dogs
  72. 2000’s era Cartoon Network/Disney/Teen Nick channels
  73. 4E (duh)
  74. Ducking autocorrect
  75. Double stuffed Oreos
  76. When your favorite elliptical/treadmill/bike at Yates is free
  77. The fact that in New York they actually put cream cheese on your bagel
  78. The Lau geo-tag
  79. People who studied abroad but don’t start every sentence with, “When I was studying abroad…”
  80. When you see a former hookup but you look super hot
  81. Chick Fil A not having E. coli
  82. The smoothies at Leo’s brunch
  83. Yahoo answers
  84. When somehow ace a pop quiz without doing the reading
  85. The kid who dropped a dish in Leo’s last week and it shattered
  86. DFMOs
  87. Group texts
  88. When you put your music on shuffle and all of the songs you like come on
  89. Professors who don’t give a sit-down final
  90. When the Corp’s coffee isn’t burned
  91. The new athletic facility that we all get to use #loljk
  92. The cops who didn’t arrest me when I threw my fake ID at them
  93. Social justice Facebook posters
  94. When random organizations give out free food and you pretend to be interested just for the candy
  95. Rumchata
  96. #Jesuits
  97. Intramural battle ship
  98. Epi’s lax refill policy
  99. Epi’s quesadillas
  100. Drunk Epi
  101. Epi

And just for fun, here are the few things we are not thankful for:

  1. Epi buffet prices
  2. Group texts
  3. Georgetown basketball
  4. Kylie Jenner’s ability to inspire an entire generation
  5. The cops who arrested my friend for using his fake at Towne
  6. The guy tapping his foot really loudly in the cubicle next to me in Lau
  7. The new GUTS routes
  8. The thin Oreos

Happy Thanksgiving, Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: reelseo.com

Studying for Midterms: Freshman Year vs. Senior Year

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It is that time of year again, when Lau becomes our second home, Mai Thai delivery orders spike and classroom friendships emerge solely out of necessity.

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That’s right, midterm season has hit the Hilltop. While all my midterms are not this week, this “time off” has given me some time to reflect on this horrible time of year. The way I approach midterms nowadays is extremely different than my approach when I was a freshman. Time to take a trip down memory lane…

1. Study Guides:

Freshman Year: You take the time to collaborate with a variety of people to create the most comprehensive study guide in the planet. Naturally, you add your own information to it and even include reading summaries.

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Senior Year: Now midterms are a game of Google Docs, and how many smart people can you get to work with you and share their knowledge. There is no way your notes are indicative of what was taught, making finding that Google Doc key. If you think you need reading summaries, you are living in a delusional world. You have real life to worry about, HELLO.

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2. Study Groups

Freshman Year: Study groups are a jumping off point for friendships, buddies or whatever may have emerged. You struggle together and all pull your weight. Oh, those good times on Lau 2. Best Friends Forever.

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Senior Year: Take a look around your classroom and there is a good chance you don’t know the majority of people in your class. Ugh, don’t you hate being old? Midterms have become a game of “Who do you know?” and the more people you know, the better off you will be. There is much less of a chance of long term friendships in this case, these people will be here after you are gone. Now, that is just sad.

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3. Office Hours

Freshman Year: If you didn’t show up to your professor’s office hours at least once during midterms, you are doing something wrong. Naturally, you have to show up with a list of questions and be extremely prepared.

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Senior Year: Office hours is now about how much information can you get your teacher to tell you. There is no chance you know enough to ask a question. Time to learn by osmosis.

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4. Study Style

Freshman Year: You actually spend time looking good because you are going to Lau and are going to be around people potential love interests. You never know, what if you met the love of your life there? You heard that is a thing, right?

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Senior Year: If you make it to Lau, it is an accomplishment. If you look presentable, you get an award. You would only be caught looking better than SWUG-ish if you had an internship or an interview. Other reasons are not acceptable.

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5. Coping Methods

Freshman Year: The pain is over, thank god! Time to relax in your New South common room, try to find a good party and catch up with your friends. Not for too long though, those five classes will keep you significantly busy and you don’t want to fall behind!

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Senior Year: If you don’t have a drink in your hand at least an hour after your midterm, I will question your life choices. Is it a Monday? Who really cares? Do you? Are you sure you are a senior?

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Godspeed friends. Hope your internships, job searches, part time jobs and activities don’t get in your way of passing those midterms. We are rooting for you.

Photos/Gifs: hercampus.com; buzzfeed.com; tumblr.com; playbuzz.com; giphy.com; dailybruin.com; eonline.com; theodysseyonline.com; glee.wikia.com

Power Ranking of Drunk Epi Food

tumblr_static_junk_food_wallpaper_by_yume_fran-d31yapsWe’ve all been there: a pregame, two frat parties and a post game later, the drunkenness is high but the nausea is even higher. We at 4E have compiled a list of foods that have saved our lives at Epi on multiple occasions.

1. Quesadillas – Obviously a classic.

2. Onion Rings – Great for when you’re on a budget.

3. John Thompson – With corned beef, coleslaw and Russian dressing, this sandwich sops up alcohol like a shamwow.

4. Cool Ranch Doritos – Apparently they sell them there… who knew?!

5. Burger a la Georgetown – Order it with double veggie and feta cheese if you’re a guilty eater.
6. Smoking hot brisket – Did that smoking hot girl at the party ignore you? This sandwich definitely won’t do the same.

Sometimes, you do not have the mental capacity to pick a specific/complicated food (probably from all that studying). As one Epi-goer explained, “In real life, drunk me kind of just picks randomly off the menu.”

Here are the best of the random choices:

1. BBQ chicken pizza – You probably should get a whole pizza and maybe bring a friend along.

2. BLT – $3.25 and it’s greater than great.

3. BLT with avocado – Including tax it’s only $5.17. What a deal.

4. Other people’s fries – The move, always. Free food is always better than food you pay for.

While you should have so much fun at all the parties and stuff, try to keep yourself together enough to try these favorites from Epi.

*Remember that it’s good to eat and drink while drinking to avoid the dreaded ~hangover~
**Also remember the legal drinking age in the U.S. is 18 21

Photos/Gifs: huffingtonpost.com, gifmania.com, hellogiggles.com, tumblr.com

High School vs. Georgetown

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Everyone knows that high school and college are pretty different. From academics to the social scene, they are essentially worlds apart. 4E brings you a few situations that demonstrate this difference perfectly.

Situation 1: Getting an A

High School: *Shoves test in binder*

Georgetown:

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Situation 2: The “humble brag”

High School: “You’re on chapter 7?! I haven’t even opened the book.”

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Georgetown: “You’re on chapter 7?! You better hurry up.  I memorized all the charts and statistics.”

Situation 3: Being Healthy

High School: “I try to eat a balance of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and carbs.”

Georgetown: “I try to eat healthy. Also, I went to Yates last week.”

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Situation 4: Needing to do laundry

High School: “Maahhhm!”

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Georgetown: “Maybe if I spray it with perfume no one will know…”

Situation 5: Relationships

High School: “After our date he asked if we should make it Facebook official.”

Georgetown: *Swipes you in at Leo’s* “It was essentially a date.”

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Situation 6: Trying really hard to cook

High School: *Prepares five course meal.*

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Georgetown: *Fails at preparing five course meal.*

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*And then resorts to EasyMac*

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Situation 7: Being a nerd

High School: “You did the reading? Classic. Such a nerd.”

Georgetown: “That kid always ruins the curve. I heard he co-authored the textbook. What a nerd.”

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Situation 8: Netflix and chilling

High School: *text at 6:30 p.m.* “Hey. I have to watch my sister tonight while my parents are gone but want to come over to watch some Netflix and chill?”

Georgetown: *text at 3:30 a.m.* “Netflix and chill;)?”

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Situation 9: Waking up early

High School: “I got up at 5 a.m. for swim practice. I’m literally going to die.”

Georgetown: “I have an 8 a.m. class this semester. I’m literally going to die.”

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Situation 10: Realistic career expectations

High School: “I’m incredibly passionate about biology, space, and astrophysics. I’m either going to be a physicist or an astronaut. I got a 5 in AP Physics so I’m probably smart enough.”

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Georgetown: “I mean, tax law could be interesting.”

Situation 11: Personal Space

High School:

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Georgetown: “This should do for now.”

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Situation 12: Approaching a crush

High school:

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Georgetown: “My crush has got to be on tinder somewhere. It’s only a matter of time.”

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Situation 13: Dance parties

High school: “There’s always that one couple…”

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Georgetown: “There’s always that one kid..” *Brings entire freshman floor*

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College is hard. But, you’ve got to admit, most times it’s better than high school.

Photos/Gifs: trb.com; tumblr.com; giphy.com

GOP Debate Drinking Game

150616_donald_trump_getty_1160_956x519Being back on the Hilltop means a lot of different things. For many of our newer Hoyas it means new friends, new clubs and new social interaction. But being here in D.C. makes one thing unavoidable: Politics. You might hate it, you might love it, but you certainly can’t avoid it. So why not embrace it!?

Many of you may know that the second GOP debate is tonight at 8 p.m. In the spirit of embracing politics and all that is best and worst about living in D.C., we have a debate drinking game to get you through tonight:

Take 1 drink if:

  • Donald Trump mentions building walls
  • Ben Carson talks about a cool surgery he has done
  • Anyone mentions Planned Parenthood
  • Chris Christie mentions the great state of New Jersey

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He’s joking right…..

  • Anyone personally attacks Trump (cough cough Jeb! Cough)
  • Anyone mentions being a “real” conservative
  • Anyone insults Hillary
  • Marco Rubio mentions Cuba
  • The candidates point aggressively at one another
  • Carly Fiorina mentions being the only female candidate

 

Good for you Glen Coco

Finish your entire drink if:

  • Deez Nuts makes a guest appearance in the debate. Deez Nuts 2016!

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So there you have it folks — a way to make your debate experience more enjoyable all around. Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think we can all agree, everything goes down a little easier with a drink!

*Alcohol consumption is only legal for adults 21+ years of age.

*Please drink responsibly.

*If you have a tendency to throw things at your TV or others when angry, please drink EXTRA responsibly.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com infoogi.it

New (Liquor) Store On the Block

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We all remember last year when the famed Georgetown liquor store, Wagner’s, closed its doors. 4E was personally emotionally damaged from this news, especially in combination with the news of our other fave places closing (RIP Rhino).

After months of waiting and anticipation, another store has emerged in Wagner’s place to fill the void. Hop, Cask, and Bottle is the new resident of 1717 Wisconsin Ave NW.

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Even better, this new store boosts a bunch of new specials for us to enjoy!

Tuesday: 5% off all Craft Beer
Wednesday: 5% off all Wine
Thursday: 10% off all Single Malt, 10% off any 6+ bottles of wine, 15% off any 12+ bottles of wine

So be sure to try out this new store, open Monday to Saturday 10:00 am—10:00 pm, and Sunday 11:00 am—8:00 pm. Just in time for the start of the semester!

Photos/Gifs: georgetownmetropolitan.com; thegeorgetowndish.com

When Bae (Postmates) Brings You Free Food

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Hold the phone, what? Is this a joke? Am I being punk’d?!

Actually, my friends, I speak the truth: Postmates is offering free delivery of anything you could want this week only!

Earlier this week 4E got an email from the Postmates general store alerting us to this amazing opportunity to get things delivered to our beds for no price at all. Naturally we couldn’t control our excitement. Here is what they advertised:

“From Advil to toothpaste and candy to condoms, we’ve got it all. Order sunscreen and magazines to bring to the beach Solo cups and plates for that last minute barbecue. Simply open the app, 24/7. That’s all folks.”

For those of us who major in laziness and minor in procrastination, this is a dream come true.

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4E specifically suggests you order the following things to celebrate this occassion:

1. That food place you have always been dying to try, but have been too lazy to go to. I’m looking at you, Barcelona Wine Bar.

2. Everything you could possibly ever need from a convenience store. A two-hundred pack of command hooks? Why the hell not, you’ll use them for something!

3. Every meal of the day, from sunrise to sundown. It is August, isn’t work optional now? Start with Bethesda Bagels and go nuts.

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4. The weirdest outfit you can think of from American Apparel. Just think of it as an investment for a future theme party. Follow up, can we talk about the fact that you can order this to be delivered to your house?

5. Your alcohol for the weekend. Sometimes Dixie seems too far and walking is not a thing. Plus, then you can buy in bulk and not have to worry about your arms falling off from the weight of your Burnetts.

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Be right back, about to go spend some serious cash on Postmates. Heaven is a place on Earth.

Photos/Gifs: gurl.com; theodysseyonline.com/; http://byt.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/; bostonmagazine.com

4E Goes to Hollywood

Hollywood-Cartoon-Sign-WallpaperWhile 4E usually posts things that are relevant, somewhat strange, and often less conventional, rarely do we take the opportunity to brief you on a day in our lives. So, in the spirit of campfire stories let us share our latest adventure…

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It all started when some obscure e-mail was sent out to the masses of The Hoya, with the subject reading something along the lines of “FREE TRIP TO LA”… (we thought it was a joke at first). Actually, to be honest, a few weeks later when we boarded our flights, traveled across the country and wound up at a random dorm complex in Long Beach we STILL thought it was a joke. And if we’re being completely honest- now that we, and our fellow Hoyas, have left and returned to our respective summer lives, our random trip to LA is still seems completely unreal.

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It turns out we were there for a conference. It was called DOHAgoals. It was all about empowering people through sports. It allowed us to share air with a lot of super stars: Michelle Obama, Maria Shriver (Hoya Saxa), Debbie Phelps (Oh, and Michael too), Nadia Comăneci, Avril Lavigne, an important man with a beautiful french accent, Abby Wambach…

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You know, big names. Big words. Big living. There was even special furniture brought in to the giant conference center ordered especially to match the colors of the event. All expenses were paid. We ate a lot of free lunch and drank a lot of coffee. And it was thanks to the Qatari government.

In 4E fashion, we decided to take advantage full advantage of this FREE trip: 

We hid in a hallway for 3 hours, rather than go for a run.

We posed for pictures on elevated surfaces (and spammed our GroupMe with a scrapbook of our adventure- 17+ of which no one else seemed to acknowledge…).Screen Shot 2015-07-30 at 10.42.20 AM

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Screen Shot 2015-07-30 at 10.42.47 AMWe wound up on a set for So You Think That You Can Dance, meaning there’s like a .0089999% chance we’ll be making our feature television debut!

We met a lot of fellow student ambassadors who were all sports management majors and proudly told them what little relevance the conference had to our own very less relevant studies.

We went to a rooftop bar, Hollywood, a karaoke bar and a bowling alley.

And if these examples are not painting the picture of a ~wild~ adventure, know that we at least had fun.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com