You Seek, We Write: The Hilarious Search Terms That Lead to 4E

Search TermsWell, hello there 4E readers. We here at the blog would like to think that our incredibly informative and entertaining pieces fill the voids of readers desperately searching for a way to brighten their day. Believe it or not, there are many ways Fourth Edition readers come across the quirky abode that is our website. Some viewers come from The Hoya website. Others arrive through our Facebook promotions, and quite a lot arrive from search engines.

Now, you might be wondering, what do you have to type into a search engine to end up on 4E? Well, thanks to our site statistics, we’ve tracked it and figured it out. And for your reading pleasure, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite searches that landed Google users on the pages of our blog. So next time you are soul searching on the World Wide Web, try typing in one of these stellar search phrases so you can see the best of what we have to offer. (Or just bookmark our site and go there.)

Georgetown-Burnetts-1“How to drink hot cinnamon flavored vodka”

As with many things life, questions cannot be simply boiled down to the why. They must also include the how, and we at 4E are here to guide you through those difficult decisions by providing a vast array of choices and advice that will hopefully lead you to answer to that question. Our variety of articles including how-tos, different drinking games (many of which are themed) and recipes will help every Hoya spice up a social gathering.

Wait a second, did someone say spice up? That’s right, this search phrase featured none other than then the highly contested, frequently talked about, hot cinnamon flavored vodka! Never forget that Hoyas help Hoyas when venturing into new territory, so we are always here to help.

“Surprised Patrick”

Some things are better seen than heard. Surprised Patrick’s face expresses feelings a Hoya can experience several times throughout the day. Like when there are no treadmills free at Yates, the pasta line is non-existent or the Internet is working in a dorm room.

“Calories in Thomas Sweet ice cream”

At 4E, we like ice cream, too! But to be honest, we don’t know the answer to this one and we actually don’t want to. Here’s a link to the Thomas Sweet website, though, just in case you dare to find out.

tumblr_mt60vbyJfw1s8shk6o1_400“Honey Boo Boo”

Perhaps the greatest thing about Honey Boo Boo (and clan), is that she is never too shy to say what she is really thinking and never too humble to declare her accomplishments loud and proud. Whenever you are having a bad day, turn to Honey Boo Boo and 4E and remember that if we both exist and everyone is still smiling, you can make it through, too.

“Are you supposed to say your name in a card for your Secret Santa”

With any holiday season comes gifts, often in the form of fun games involving secrecy. Hoyas have asked us for sage advice to the question, “Are you supposed to say our name in a card for Secret Santa?” Well, we have consulted significantly on this issue and ruled that secret is secret only if it is secret. Therefore, a resounding yes. But keep it a secret.

“Georgetown rat problem”

Yes, there is a bit of a rat problem here at Georgetown. We know. But really, the infestation is all just a matter of outlook. On one hand, you can think of our rats as disgusting, foul, disease-infested vermin. Or, on the other hand, you can think of them as just another friendly, diverse addition to the Hilltop community who happen to appear at night. Like armadillos. And who doesn’t love armadillos?

As you can see, those who stumble upon the Fourth Edition have quite the array of Internet searches. Some are looking for answers to practical questions. Some need a sympathetic story or a light-hearted laugh. Whatever the reason, 4E is always here for you in your time of need. Keep reading and keep asking the most of us, Hoyas!

The 4 Things You Absolutely Must Do Today (or by Jan. 17)

So+much+doge+_2ec24532e24abb4835551a2f6d29116cThis is the most important thing you’ll do all semester, possibly in your entire lifetime. We’ve laid it out for you, nice and easy.

1. Go to The Hoya website.Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.49.05 PM

2. Click the “Join The Hoya” tab.

Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.51.32 PM

3. Apply to be a writer for us at The Fourth Edition.Screen Shot 2014-01-02 at 4.50.58 PM

4. When you’re done, you’ll feel like this:

booyah

There. Easy as pie. Applications for The Hoya are officially out now (and they’re due Jan. 17). Here’s the link again, just in case. Apply now, and you won’t regret it.

Photos/Gifs: sustainabilityatspu.wordpress.com, forum.warthunder.com

4E in Review: The Top Posts of 2013

Top posts of 20132013 was a great year for 4E, much due to the continued support of our fantastic readers. To celebrate the New Year, we’ve decided to look back at our Top Posts of 2013.

10. 9 Reasons We’re Excited To Go Back To Georgetown

9-reasons-why

9. What I Miss Mostthings-we-already-miss

8. The Problem With Anonymity: An Interview With Georgetown Confessionsmmhm

7. WHERE IN GEORGETOWN IS BRADLEY COOPER?Screen-Shot-2013-01-31-at-4.28.41-PM

6. Say “Hello, Baby Jack”!Screen-Shot-2013-10-18-at-3.31.13-PM

5. Surprised Patrick, Georgetown Editionsurprised-patrick-visits

4. Welcome to Campus, John B. CarrollIMG_3304-682x1024

3. The Best and Worst of Your Good Friend, Burnett’sGeorgetown-Burnetts

2. 21 Ways You Know You’re About to Graduate from Georgetown21-ways-you-know

And the most read post of 2013…

1. Mr. Georgetown 2013: The Contestants

meet-

Thanks for your readership, Hoyas! We’re looking forward to an exciting and post-filled 2014.

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Thanksgiving Traditions

Staff PicksIt’s only one day until Thanksgiving is upon us. To help celebrate all the things we’re thankful for and put ourselves in the holiday spirit, 4E has compiled a list of our own favorite holiday traditions.

“Playing Texas Hold ‘Em with my family after Thanksgiving dinner.”
– Francisca Johanek

“Mashed potatoes.” 
– Emma Holland

“Sitting with my little sister in front of the oven, watching the turkey bake for hours.”
– Matt Sullivan

“Playing football with my cousins to pregame deliciousness.”
– Harper Weissburgthanksgiv-day

“Yelling at football on the TV while helping my parents cook the feast.”
– Griffin Greco

“Walking around the neighborhood after we eat to work off some the pounds gained.”
– William Cleaves

“Eating desserts first and then getting so full nobody eats the turkey.”
– Julia Kieserman

“Drinking cream soda out of wine/champagne glasses with my sister so we felt like adults [when we were younger].”
– Max Wheeler

“The post-eating siesta with my cousins.”
– Courtney Klein

“Hiding in the basement and secretly eating the homemade applesauce before mealtime.”
– Karl Pielmeier

 

What are your favorite Thanksgiving traditions? Share them with us in the comments below, and be sure to have a happy Hoya Thanksgiving!

Photos: Time And Date, Addicting Info

Meet the New 4E Bloggers

new bloggers

 

Julia Kieserman (COL ’16)

julia

“Top five …”

Top 5 Signs You Are Underdressed:
1. It’s 9 a.m. on a Monday and your professor is wearing brightly colored socks that are stylishly mismatched with his equally poppin’ shirt. At least his pants are too short, so you can actually admire the socks.
2. You are the only one at a party who can sit cross-legged. Either you don’t mind getting something wrinkled or you’ve got nothing to show by doing it. Either way, it’s bad.
3. You’re wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts and you aren’t going to the gym. And it isn’t a ‘morning after’ Sunday. On a separate note, when is the last time you’ve been to the gym? Just saying.
4. It’s Chicken Finger Thursday. Better bring your bib. Whatever your outfit is, it’s just not complete without the bib. This is a special occasion and you better look the part. After all, there is no Thursday like a Chicken Finger Thursday.
5. Undesirable attention from campus royalty. Have you ever seen Jack on a bad hair day? Didn’t think so. Better not let him catch you on your bad hair day — might want to consider drool-proof attire as well.

willWill Cleaves (COL ’16)

What is an invention that every Georgetown student needs? 

I think that every student needs designated Jack time. Hanging out with dogs can really make you happy if you’re feeling lonely or stressed. I’m not sure if that is an “invention” that everybody needs but it could definitely be a nice way for students who are used to having dogs at home get some dog time. There’s no substitute for dog time.

Harper

Harper Weissburg (SFS ’17)

“Top five …”

Top 5 Reasons Why Pickles Surpass Cucumbers:
1. Pickles have personality: they can be salty or sweet.
2. “Pickle” can be used as an adjective, verb or noun.
3. You can “be in a pickle,” but you can’t “be in a cucumber” (technically speaking you could … but that would be strange).
4. Pickling can be done to any food item by soaking it in vinegar; thus, cucumbers are not unique to this process.
5. In 2001, New York City began hosting an annual Pickle Day celebration! However, there is no “Cucumber Day,” and for good reason.

courtney

Courtney Klein (SFS ’16)

What is an invention that every Georgetown student needs? 

I believe that there is one app that every Georgetown student needs: the coffee line app. This app tells how long the line is at every coffee shop on campus and what items they have in stock. The coffee line challenge has happened to me time and time again: I get out of a Spanish class on the second floor of ICC and have a major coffee craving. With only 10 minutes until my Econ lecture, I run to MUG, praying there will be no line. And of course, there is a massive line. There always seems to be a line. I always debate waiting but I have no way to tell how long it will take so I give up. I go to class coffee-less, pay no attention and get no work done. I believe that an app like this would allow students to better allocate their time and money. My app will revolutionize the time between classes and keep all Georgetown students happy and coffee-filled!

marnieMarnie Wallach (NHS ’16)

“Top five …”

Top 5 Worst Places to Sneeze:
1. As you walk into a job interview, pre-handshake.
2. While doing the lady-and-the-tramp noodle sharing.
3. After hearing the words, “You may now kiss the bride.”
4. When giving your final answer for the final question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Bless you, but time’s up.
5. When you’re hiding out in someone’s closet because you really want to be friends with her.

Griffin

Griffin Greco (COL ’16)

What is an invention that every Georgetown student needs?

The (yet) unrealistic invention that every Georgetown student needs is something that will instantaneously remove the Leo’s smell after eating. Showering doesn’t count. Nor does deodorant. Ideally, it would be some sort of TSA screening device that you could just walk through as you exit Leo’s and come out smelling fresh.

 

 

Emma Holland (COL ’17)emma

“Top five …”

Top 5 Desserts at Leo’s:
1. No question; the sugar cookies. They taste like they’re half-butter!
2. The blondies.
3. This one requires some effort: take two of the sugar cookies, scoop strawberry ice cream onto one of them and make a sandwich. It’s ridiculous.
4. A second helping of mashed potatoes and meatloaf.
5. Chocolate pudding cups.
*Side note: I wish they served pie.

Francisca

Francisca Johanek (COL ’17)

Every Georgetown student knows the abundance of food we have at our disposal, from the several options at Leo’s to the restaurants in town. However, sometimes these options can be more daunting than exciting. You walk into Leo’s, navigate the several bread options, the new hot sandwich special, the cheese options, etc. You decide you will be virtuous and that all you want is a spinach, ham and Swiss cheese sandwich on whole grain. Each component is critical. Happily decisive, you begin assembling it all on your plate. But you get to the last food bin, and it is empty! Sticking with the ever-growing app fascination, I propose an app where students could search what they wanted and see if the options were available, how much was left and where to go. Think ink print cartridges on your printer; you click on the food bin app and instantly find how much ham, Swiss and spinach are left. Is Leo’s white bread stock high or low? Is that bread available at Epicurean? Once the stats majors enhance it, the app can add the probability of your sandwich being possible once your place in line is reached.

matt

Matt Sullivan (COL ’16)

“Top five …”

Top 5 Favorite Quotes From The Proud Family:

1. “TRUDAY!!!!”
2. “PENNAY!!!”
3. “STICKAY!!!!”
4. “DIJONAYYY!!!!!”
5. “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire! We don’t need to water let it burn, BURN, BURRRRRRN! *moonwalks away*”

Staffers of the Week: Personnel and Blahg Power

SOTW Lindsay Michal Addie

Names Lindsay Lee; Michal Grabias; Addie Fleron
Positions on The Hoya Senior Blog Editor; Director of Personnel; Human Resources Manager
Years 2016; 2015; 2016
Schools COL; MSB; COL
Majors Economics; Finance/OPIM; Undeclared
Hometowns Albany, NY; Northborough, MA; Westfield, MA

What did you do to earn staffer of the week?

Lindsay: You’re lookin’ at it! I redesigned the layout for the blahg. (Writer’s Note: Lindsay requested this special spelling of “blahg,” and I also find it hilarious because she is going to have to edit her own interview.) (Editor’s note: it is currently making me uncomfortable to edit my own words.)

Michal and Addie: We forced people to judge other people and then compiled it so we could judge people in the least judgmental way possible. (Writer’s Note: The Personnel team actually conducted peer reviews, which provided feedback and constructive criticism for a large part of the Hoya Staff. The process took hours of hard work and professionalism!)

What is your favorite part about working for The Hoya?

Lindsay: People sending me aggressive numbers of funny articles online and also not feeling like a dork for making grammar/typography jokes.

Michal: How great the people are. That’s why I’ve stayed around so much. We have personnel dinners and I love hanging out with them.

Addie: I get to know everything about everything! And I love everyone … even though I know everything about them. Which says a lot.

In your opinion, which person in the office is most likely to be president? Least likely?

Lindsay: Most likely: Wow. This is hard. This shouldn’t be this difficult! I’ll say Nicole Jarvis (Deputy Guide Editor) because people just gravitate toward her. She’s really deceptively cute, but I feel like she could be ferocious and a very strong leader. Least likely: Chris Grivas (Deputy Photo Editor) because he consistently spells my name wrong and that’s a skill you just need as president. Oh, also Ryan Bacic (Senior Sports Editor), because he’s too sassy for his own good.

Michal: Most likely: I could see Braden (Executive Editor) as president. (Note: Braden is not American and cannot be President.) But we’ve amended the Constitution before; why not now? Least likely: Zoe (Senior Layout Editor) for reasons that everyone in the office knows. (Writer’s Note: Actually, I’m pretty sure Braden is less likely than Zoe for obvious reasons. As in, his nationality.)

Addie: Most likely: Jon Rabar (Former General Manager) could convince you to vote for him or your life would end. So yeah… that. Least likely: Michal because he’s Polish. Like Alexander Hamilton, who would’ve been a great president but wasn’t American. (Editor’s Note: DANG IT, JUST KIDDING I CHANGE MY ANSWER TO JON RABAR.)

If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

Lindsay: I would want to be able to shoot Nutella out of my fingertips. I feel like I would just spread happiness/Nutella, which are synonymous, everywhere I go.

Michal: Oh my gosh! It’s obvious: to be able to freeze time! Anyone who says otherwise is wrong! Have you seen the movie Clockstoppers? (Writer’s Note: He then proceeded to rant about the movie at a pace that no human could ever keep up with and talk about robbing armored cars of money. Yes, Michal wants to freeze time so he can steal armored cars of money.)

Addie: I would like my superpower to be whatever inborn power you get to be a wizard in Harry Potter, which would also allow me to freeze time and rob armored trucks. But why would I want to do that when I could just spontaneously generate cash as a wizard?

If you could have an alter ego (possibly an alias to hide the above-mentioned superpower), what would it be and why?

Lindsay: Beyoncé-Queen. I don’t need to explain that. (Writer’s Note: Lindsay said this answer in approximately 0.3 seconds. She has thought about this before.)

Michal: I had a couple fake names back in high school. People would recognize me in the mall, but they wouldn’t know my actual name. They’d call me David or Alex. So, I essentially already have alter egos. (Note: egos. Plural.)

Addie: Subtractie. As in, Addie, Subtractie.

Michal also insisted on ending the interview by saying, “No matter what, Personnel is always watching.” Hoya Staffers, beware.