College can be a tough adjustment for everyone from prep school scholars to public school kids. The transition would be a lot easier if Georgetown or university student groups offered a few 90-minute seminars (optional, of course) to better prepare students for everything from Google Docs to dating. Here are a few suggestions:
How to Spot a F**kboy
Why: The unsuspecting freshman girl often falls for them at house parties early in the first semester. Sometimes a post-party hookup turns into three months of torture over unrequited love.
How: Upperclassmen girls can show profiles of boys and point out their negative traits (good at saving Snapchats, very “experienced,” phone only seems to work after 2 a.m. on Saturday nights) so young girls know what to avoid.
How to Use Blackboard/My Access/Google Drive
Why: Has anyone found any of these sources particularly user-friendly?
How: Step-by-step instruction on how to do everything.
How to Get Over Your High School Ex
Why: Everyone has that one friend who is always either hopping on a train to Alabama to see their former sweetheart or crying in the dorm because that special someone posted a picture with a new crush.
How: Show profiles of attractive and successful Georgetown students to show kids that there are other fish in the sea and that our sea happens to be better than most.
How to Public Transport
Why: The metro is easy enough, but the bus system is a mystery. When someone says G2, D2 or D6 I think they’re talking about the robot from Star Wars or the floors in the saddest freshman dorm. Also, what is “The Circulator”?
How: Show us the website, give us a map with the stops and list the most efficient path to reach major locations around the city.
How to Drink Without Blacking Out
Why: Everyone made jokes about the online alcohol awareness course we had to complete freshman fall, but seeing how much alcohol we were actually drinking was eye opening.
How: Throw a “controlled” party where kids are allowed to drink until they black out, as long as they keep track of how much they’ve consumed. Each student will know his or her absolute limit and hopefully will consume under this limit the rest of the year.
How to Cheer Aggressively at Sporting Events
Why: Sometimes the crowd at the Verizon Center gets rowdy. We need to put those opposing fans in their place (AKA the bus back to Philly).
How: Get dirt on all of our Big East Rivals. Learn what other fans say at us, and teach students the appropriate responses. One example: Villanova fans shout, “What’s a Hoya?” Student section responds, “Your future employa.”