I’m Too Soxy For My Shirt

Hoya Soxa

Fall, autumn, apple pickin’ time … Whatever you want to call this season, it’s time to say goodbye to the sandals and say hellooooo to the SOCKS AND SANDALS! Just kidding.

But let’s talk socks. I know that you, the perspicacious 4E reader, is wondering why a whole post is being devoted to socks, a.k.a. “shoe liners” or “foot cozies” or “really horrible Father’s Day present.” But let me tell you something: Socks are no joke. This time of year, nothing can make or break a day like a pair of socks. Got caught in a mid-autumn downpour after class? Changing from wet socks to dry wool-y ones is like getting a million high fives: It’s awesome!

There are many different types of socks roaming the Georgetown campus. But for the sake of brevity, we’ve decided to feature five key types. If you already have them, consider yourself set for the rest of your undergraduate education. If you’re missing a type, what are you waiting for? In the words of Ron Swanson, “Just give me all the bacon and eggs [socks] you have.”

1. The Mid-Calf

Forget the muscle tee, snapback or sweet Nike© kicks: nothing screams “I’M AN ALPHA DOG” like a perfectly executed mid-calf sock. Wear these when you’re “chillin’ with the boiz” at “the gym”, or when you’re “chillin’ with no one” on your couch watching “the game.” Sports!

Please refer to the dude on the left for an example of an “alpha dog.”

2. The Ankle

An American classic. Actually, a worldwide classic, because who doesn’t love ankle socks? Perfect with sneakers, boots, Crocs, you name it – these put the “Terrific” in “versatile.”

3. The Knee

Hold up. You’re wearing ankle socks with knee-high boots and you feel uncomfortable, and you’re thinking of giving up on socks entirely? Don’t do that! Get a pair of knee socks! If you don’t wear knee-high boots, you should still have a pair of these because they can come in clutch for costumes.

4. The Low-Cut

Shoutout to Costco for slowly cornering the market on these bad boys. While you may be shocked, as I was, to hear that KB stands for K. Bell and not Kirkland Brand, don’t let that misunderstanding prevent you from enjoying an inexpensive pair of durable and cozy (and colorful!) socks.

A sight for sore eyes.

5. The Toe

For those of you out there who want that extra wiggle room, here’s a sock that fits like a glove. It literally fits like a glove. These are foot gloves. Whatever, it’s your life – you can let your toes hang loose if you want to. #miley

Hoya Soxa!

Photos: ourlifeblog.net, blogspot.com, wordpress.com

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