Winter Basicness Is Upon Us

#basic

The cold front is moving in. Geese are migrating to the south, bears are hibernating for the winter and pumpkin-flavored alcohol is no longer seasonally appropriate. Starbucks has busted out its red holiday cups and #basic girls everywhere are forced to substitute their favorite signature fall beverage, the PSL, with the Eggnog or Gingerbread Latte.

Much like squirrels collecting and storing nuts to last them the winter, we too must adapt our behavior according to the change in temperature. As much as it breaks every #basic girl’s heart to know there will soon no longer be any leaves left to Instagram, do not fear: there is always snow. And if you don’t #insta Healy covered in white this Christmas season, did winter even happen? (Answer: It didn’t.)

To help 4E’s #basic readers out with the seasonal transition, let’s discuss the critical differences between Fall Basic and Winter Basic. Failure to adjust your behavior and attire accordingly will result in “Seasonally Inappropriate Basicness”, for which you should be shunned.

Diet

It’s winter, ladies. Georgetown Cupcake’s pumpkin cheesecake cupcake is off the menu. It’s time for you, too, to remove pumpkin, real or artificial, from your life altogether. Stop holding on. No more pumpkin Burnett’s. No more PSLs. No more pumpkin loaves or pumpkin candles or pumpkin pie or pumpkin soap. Why do you need to smell like pumpkin? Move on from the pumpkin. Achieving Winter Basicness necessitates incorporating the following flavors and dishes into your diet in excess: cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread, honey-baked ham, eggnog, figgy pudding and chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Attire

Any #basic girl knows that a new season brings new obsessions. Because we can no longer freak out over crunching leaves in our leather riding boots, we must instead slush through the snow in our Bean boots and compete over to what degree we literally can’t even wait for Christmas. Whoever “can’t even” the most, wins. Wool circle scarves must replace light, patterned fall scarves and one’s Patagonia fleeces must be brought out in full force.

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Interests

A key tenet of Winter Basicness is talking about the holidays always. That means commenting on how cute every set of lights is on every house that you pass. That means taking #basic group photos with your girlfriends in front of the lights that spell “Hoyas” outside the front gates and captioning the Instagram “20 more days! #ChristmasCountdown” or “All I Want for Christmas is You #lovemygirls.” Winter Basicness means alternating between watching “Elf”, “The Polar Express” and “Love Actually” and playing Michael Bublé and/or Mariah Carey while wearing your #UglyChristmasSweater.

It’s time to let go of the fall. We at 4E wish you the best in your seasonal transition to Winter Basicness. And don’t worry, you will be able to return for your Fall #basic activities next year.

Photos: http://happygirlsaretheprettiest.me/category/lol/; http://hd4desktop.com/89168-autumn-leaves-falling-on-girl/; http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wordynerdy/2013/02/how-ll-bean-boots-mirror-my-marriage/; http://www.patagonia.com/us/home

Party Themes 2.0

Party Themes 2.0

Whiteout. Anything But Clothes. Toga. Flannels and handles. In a report released this afternoon by the Frat Boy Association of America (FBAA), these time-honored, critically acclaimed college party themes have all earned the widely sought-after “ratchet” status.

These findings reveal a lack of innovation across the board. Although these classics never fail to deliver their fair share of jungle juice, Natty, crop tops and shame, we at 4E believe it’s time to make some cutting-edge contributions to today’s antiquated party theme options.

Your Favorite Handle

A good party theme is all about the double entendre/puns. Sport @yourfavoritetwitteraccount on your T-shirt or dress up like your favorite flavor of Burnett’s. Recommendations include @LILBTHEBASEDGOD and @amandabynes. If you go the vodka route, get creative with your flavor choice. Tropical punch, perhaps. Just not maple syrup because we told you that’s disgusting.

I Woke Up Like This

Channel your inner Sasha Fierce or wear slippers and a nightgown. This theme presents a juxtaposition between divas and bedheads that will keep the party interesting. There is also the opportunity to put the absolute maximum or the bare minimum effort into the costume depending on whether you choose to be Bey or a lazy pajama-clad college student for the night. Earn extra points by merging the two and somehow finding a way to pull off being Beyoncé in a onesie.

Basic and Basic

Although the term “basic” has started to grind my gears, it has party theme potential. Either incorporate some chemistry knowledge into your outfit via a cute and flirty pH scale drawing on your tank top or opt for yoga pants and Uggs (with the fur rolled down) while toting around a Starbucks holiday cup.

Middle School Dance and Cargo Pants

This theme aims to take you back to your school gym in the seventh grade. Party attire can include a combination of any of the following elements: Apple Bottom jeans, denim mini skirt, pink Converse, a choker and/or a Juicy Couture track jacket. For the boys, cargo pants with so many pockets that you could simultaneously store all of your Yu-Gi-Oh cards within them. (Also acceptable: those sweatpants with fifteen zippers that allowed one to change from pants to capris to shorts to boxer-length shorts in a few easy unzips). If you’re not chasing your drinks with Sunny D and following those body shots with a sip of Capri Sun, you’re doing it wrong.

And that’s all for now. Use these last days before Thanksgiving to give these themes a try or hold out until your last free weekend before finals. Because you can only dress in ABC so many times before you start to realize it’s cold out.

Photo: noisey.com

Hump Day Chomp: The Diner

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Hump Day Chomp is a new weekly posting that intends, perhaps unsuccessfully, to make your Hump day a bit less humpy. We’ve found restaurants that are (mostly) cheap, rarely visited by our Georgetown amigos and, above all, pretty freaking good to get you through the week. 

Few culinary experiences can stimulate as much excitement as those enjoyed at our very own Leo’s. Some nights that begin with the highly anticipated dinging of the omelet bell, however, end in a deeply unsatisfying cheese-to-egg ratio, or, more horrifyingly, a lack of cheese altogether. After having despondently consumed a block of egg sprinkled with the occasional diced pepper or two, we can’t help but wonder what happened to the tomato and feta that we blatantly checked off on the omelet slip. Doesn’t writing “Thank You!!!” surrounded by hearts count for anything these days?

If you find yourself feeling like your aggressive politeness, excessive heart drawings and subtle winks at the gentleman with the frying pan have gone egregiously unnoticed one too many times, fear not. This week’s Hump Day Chomp hopes to take you off campus and into a venue where you can have your omelet and eat it too – and it will have tomato and feta if you ask for it.

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The Diner in Adam’s Morgan is the perfect spot for weekend brunch. Situated on the neighborhood’s main strip along 18th Street, the restaurant is a quick walk from the bus stops that transport to and from Dupont. The Diner boasts a cozy, Sunday morning ambiance, with countertop seating and classic ketchup bottles, diner coffee mugs and bottles of syrup set at wooden tables. The one drawback is that you will inevitably face the age-old, paralyzing debate over whether to go with breakfast, brunch or lunch. The menu has everything from Western omelets to bread pudding French toast, from steak and eggs to chili cheeseburgers, and BLTs to grilled salmon. Not to mention, there’s a whole section of “Eye Openers” featuring mimosas, Bloody Marys and “adult spiked milkshakes.”

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If you’re looking to explore a new slice of the District with friends over breakfast or lunch, head to The Diner and check out the other restaurants and shops along the main drag in Adams Morgan. Tryst, a cute coffeehouse and cafe and The Diner’s sister restaurant, is located just a few doors down (featuring Instagrammable latté art). Unless, you know, you’re really into the always unpredictable game of Russian Roulette that is the omelet-making process at Leo’s (which one will be denied cheese in this batch?).

Here’s hoping you use this hump day as an excuse to treat yourself. You are better than a feta-less omelet.

Photos: Stationstart.com, Flickr.com, dinerdc.com

 

 

 

InstagraMondays: Halloweekend

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Halloweekend is over. Four costume changes and 50 Facebook albums of a clique of blondes in Risky Business attire later, college students’ most anticipated holiday season has come to a close. With Halloween falling on a Friday this year, there was no excuse not to go big for both the pre- and post-Oct. 31 festivities. If you’re like me and were dangerously close to resorting to the brutally basic cat and/or devil ensemble, you’re relieved to be over the hurdle of stress shopping at American Apparel and Buffalo Exchange, strict dieting to accommodate spandex bodysuits, wearing a scant amount of clothing, trying to incorporate a coat into the outfit that necessitates said “scant” amount of clothing and seeing boys in too-short shorts.

Much like the anticlimactic morning after Christmas Day, the Monday after Halloweekend calls for some deep reflection. The same way we pack up the ornaments and say goodbye to the 25 Days of Christmas specials on ABC Family, so too must we put away our neon jumpsuits, body paint and tank tops that walk the fine line between a “cropped tank” and a bra. And much like waking up on Jan. 1 after a long New Year’s Eve night, we must take the time to contemplate our resolutions for the next holiday season.

Next Halloweekend, can you assure yourself with the same conviction that you can pull off that Miley Cyrus getup complete with leotard, teddy bear and foam finger? Should you? Should you try to be more politically correct with your costume choice next year (this one’s for you, promiscuous Barack Obama on the dance floor)? Or for the men in tights and the Cady Heron-esque Playboy bunnies, perhaps opt for more overall coverage?

To honor the memories of this wild Halloweekend, here are a few favorite Instas of your very own 4E bloggers.

D.J. Angelini shines as a cat lady. If it wasn’t for @ltonnessen615’s clarifying caption I would have had to call my grandma to make sure she wasn’t raging on the Hilltop this Halloweekend.

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Cristina Serra shows Texas how 4E does Halloween. Isn’t John Mayer from there? No? Okay well her body is still a wonderland.

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Sara Carioscia shows that Halloweekend has the unique ability to bring all walks of life together. Mormons and ninja turtles, for example.

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And now for some non-blogging fellow Hoyas this Halloweekend.

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s” at Cuates is a very Hoya Halloween. Props to @sarahjdevs for the clever geotag (even though the Mexican blanket is a dead giveaway).

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Here is @mollyrose5494 and @annetayl0r with a cute Mary Poppins tribute.

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In this insta, @maireadryan3 & Co. kill the Charlie’s Angels trio. Location: Mission XXX.

IMG_7244And there you have it. Until next Halloweekend, Hoyas. May your post-Halloween stupor be filled with thoughts of how to better keep down that Pumpkin Burnett’s and maintain your dignity next October.

Photos: Instagram

Timeline of an Awkward Date

Timeline of Awkward Date

Every so often, us girls have those nights that inevitably end in two empty pans of Betty Crocker brownies, five episodes of “One Tree Hill,” emotional hair-braiding sessions and possibly tears while falling asleep to Taylor Swift’s “Cold As You.” We stay up long after the Netflix binge, reflecting on how we literally can’t even deal with why college boys can’t measure up to Chad Michael Murray.

But then there are those times when the nonexistent date you were just complaining about does happen, and is so uncomfortable that you find yourself wishing you had never prayed to Ryan Gosling about your relationship problems in the first place. Allow Jane Hoya to take you through that cringe-worthy dinner and bring back the memories you’ve tried to black out of your romantic history.

Pre-Date

6:57 p.m. Jane leaves her house now to feign nonchalance.

7:10 p.m. Ten minutes fashionably late and he isn’t here. Nonchalance backfires.

7:12 p.m. Does she sit? Okay she’s sitting. Now there’s bread. Eats three pieces of bread.

7:14 p.m. He’s standing behind her but she doesn’t notice, as she is preoccupied confirming to the waiter that yes, she has in fact finished the bread basket, and yes, she’d like it refilled before her friend gets here.

7:15 p.m. Jane is still trying to recover from the bread fiasco when here comes her Spanish professor who has spotted her in the restaurant. Now she must simultaneously greet them. Are introductions necessary here? Does she stand? No hugging.

Mealtime

7:20 p.m. Orders burger first. He orders a salad. Without dressing. No croutons?!

7:22 p.m. Jane makes small talk. Complains about two tests this week. He had three midterms, a research paper and his dog died.

7:29 p.m. Conversation at a lull. Accidentally has been rubbing his foot under the table. Thought it was a pole. Excuses herself for the bathroom.

7:40 p.m. There was a line. Was she really in the bathroom for 10 minutes? He’s probably jumping to some unfortunate conclusions right now.

7:42 p.m. Seriously? No croutons?

7:45 p.m. Spanish professor comes back to the table for more conversation. Wants to speak in Spanish this time. Jane has barely spoken in English so far. Forced to speak in Spanish in front of date. May or may not have spit on him while rolling an “r.”

7:52 p.m. Meal comes. All of a sudden he’s asking a lot of questions. Maybe because he feels bored after having finished his lettuce and air in two bites while Jane is struggling to answer between mouthfuls of her burger.

Post-Meal

8:10 p.m. Waiter brings dessert unrequested “for the couple.”

8:18 p.m. Check comes. Jane offers to pay. He says he’s got it covered.

8:19 p.m. Changes his mind. Maybe she could throw a few dollars in because burgers generally cost a little more than lettuce.

8:30 p.m. They walk home. He wants to know if they could do that again sometime. What’s the least awkward way to say no? Settles for “I’m busy every evening for the rest of the semester. See you in class tomorrow! Deuces!” Crushed it.

So there you have it, a fun reminder that not going on dates doesn’t necessarily mean you’re missing out on a great time. But what to do if your evening was eerily similar to Jane Hoya’s? Either you pretend it didn’t happen or you watch enough episodes of “Dating Naked” to make you feel better about yourself, because at the very least you weren’t desperate enough to ride a Jetski with a nude stranger. (Note: If this date was especially awkward, you may need to alternate with episodes of “Teen Mom.” Dodged a bullet there!)

Photo: thedailymeal.com

It’s 3:30 Somewhere

330 ClubHere at Georgetown when the taste of Village A jungle juice and the always unsatisfying ranch to pizza ratio at Eat & Joy begins to take its toll, we looking to switch things up. Although instinctively shouting along to “Get Low” by the widely acclaimed duo of Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz can be an exhilarating experience, sometimes we’d like to hear something different than the typical soundtrack to our Friday night.

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Georgetown’s hottest club is…

You may have heard about some stellar shows coming up at the 9:30 Club. It sounds fun to buy a ticket and go dance with your friends at an intimate venue with a live performer. But compared to the glamour and prestige of an often-overlooked club we have on this very campus, the 9:30 Club is second tier. I’m referring to the 3:30 Club, where the cover charge is a flash of your GoCard and the venue is as intimate as the distance your feet are from those of the boy in the cubicle next to you, who has opted to go barefoot. It’s free. It’s convenient. It’s open 24 hours. And you never know what you’re going to get.

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Sure, artists at the 9:30 Club might be spontaneous, but here at the 3:30 Club there’s no setlist. It’s 3:30 pm and you’re on Lau 5 and the soundtrack today is a synthesis of a hacking cough, construction and anxious leg shaking. Or maybe there is the faint whisper of muffled tears. Regardless of what the club scene delivers on that day, there is always something organic about the way these noises come together. For those of you who are attracted to the 9:30 Club because it satisfies your desire to go somewhere chiller than Georgetown parties, under the radar and/or so “not mainstream,” what could be more avant-garde than going into the library at 3:30 pm to not do work? What’s more new wave than sitting back in the Pierce Reading Room solely to take in all the vibes?

I know you’re probably skeptical. You’re probably wondering what makes the 3:30 Club more of “the move” on a Friday afternoon than going to a bar on a Saturday night. Going to see your favorite performer in a small setting with a fun crowd and bumping music sounds great in theory, but the 3:30 Club is all about giving you an unpredictable show. It will keep you coming back, wondering if today you’ll get to witness another group project fight, or whether you’ll see the same shady man through the window of one of the fourth floor closets or maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of a mental breakdown at the printing station when the paper tray claims it’s empty though it’s actually full. And don’t get me started on what goes down in Gelardin. The clubbing game will never be the same.