Marina is a junior in the SFS studying Who Knows. Her hobbies include third-wheeling, riding public transportation for fun, and eating pretentious foods. She has the sense of humor of a 14-year-old boy, the love life of a 13-year-old girl and the personality of a crotchety 65-year-old man.
“Get lit!” You’ve probably heard all of those cool Hoyas casually throwing this phrase around on campus. Maybe you’re out of the loop and have been wondering why everyone is advocating for each other to be lit on fire. Fortunately, 4E is here to inform you that no one will actually be set on fire, as your interpretation of this hip new phrase is just completely off base.
Lit is the new swaggy, or the new dope. It’s an incredibly useful term used to express enthusiasm or excitement for an object or event. Many things and anything can be lit if you’re really an enthusiastic person (read: Blue & Gray), so the use of this term is really subjective. Be warned though, if you do opt to freely exercise lit liberally, its effectiveness will really be compromised. So, in order to avoid being known as the “guy who cried lit,” use the term sparingly and only when you plan on describing incredibly dope things.
Now, before you go around using “lit” all willy-nilly, there is another important rule you need to keep in mind:
Do say: That quesadilla was lit! or Did you hear that there’s a party at Brown House tonight? It’s going to be lit!
Do not say: This is a lit pregame!
See? All that money spent on your private tutor time spent studying for your SAT grammar section turned out to be worth it. You can now go forth into the world and never use “lit” in an improper context again.
Attention freshman: tonight is the night you’ve all been waiting for. You’re finished with your first week of classes, and your friend that you met once at Leo’s has texted you about a lead he has about a party at Brown House. “Hey, I heard this party was gonna be crackin’. My roommate’s brother is in a class with one of the people who live there, so I can probably get us in.”
You heard Brown House was the place to be on Georgetown’s campus, so you can’t believe your social prowess. You’ve already established yourself as one of the swaggiest freshmen on campus only one week into the year, now all you need is a pregame to attend.
Luckily for you, you just received a text from the guy in your NSO group who lives on New South 3. “Huge pregame in my room tonight. Bring some friends. 10pm.” SCORE!
You know full well that it’s social suicide to show up to a pregame on time, so even though you’re all ready to go at 8, you make sure to hold off until 10:15 to show up. By the time you get there, the pregame is lit, you had no idea this many sweaty freshmen could fit into one room. With the music blaring, your night out has officially begun. Here are some of the songs you can expect to hear as you embark on a formative part of your freshman experience.
1. “Shots”-LMFAO: As much as Map is a graduation requirement for SFS students, enthusiastically blasting this song at a pregame is the only way to truly establish yourself as a freshman.
2. “Trap Queen”-Fetty Wap: A staple of any pregame, this song must be played in order to unquestionably establish your knowledge and love of trap music. Make yourself familiar with it now, you will be hearing it multiple times a night for the rest of your Georgetown experience.
3. “Faded”-Tyga ft. Lil Wayne: Because you will be.
4. “Ignition (Remix)”-R. Kelly: Affectionately known as “the beep beep song” (by me), this song is the turning point at which your night swings into full party mode. You’re impressing the ladies with your knowledge of every single music, and expertly choreographed dancing-just remember to mime bouncing a basketball when you hear “Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.”
5. “Get Low”-Lil Jon: No party is complete without everyone dropping their red solo cups to let out an enthusiastic “TO THE WINDOWWW!”
6. “Can’t Feel My Face”-The Weeknd: The Weeknd has been getting lots of recognition lately, much to the chagrin of people who’ve known about him for a long time and who hate nothing more than people thinking he’s a band. You should expect this song to become pretty popular this year around the Georgetown party circuit.
7. “Uptown Funk”-Bruno Mars: If you don’t hear this song and sing along to every word, were you really at a Georgetown party?
8. “All Night Longer”-Sammy Adams: This song describes exactly how you’re feeling: you’re absolutely killing the game at this party, and you cannot imagine leaving. Despite the fact that it’s 11:45, you’re ready to stay out until the sun comes up, assuming the Brown House table you’re dancing on doesn’t break.
9. “Blank Space”-Taylor Swift: At this point, you’re ready to showcase your shadow love of T Swift to all your newfound best friends and belt out all of the lyrics to Blank Space. Just make sure you get to this point before you’re sent running for the exits because you heard DPS was about to show up.
10. “Take 5”-Mike Strickland: It’s 12am, and you’ve made it to Epi. Get ready to drop $8.42 on the best quesadilla you’ve had in your life. Although the music here isn’t quite as poppin’ as what you’ve been hearing all night (think elevators), the gooey, melty and ridiculously overpriced pile of cheese more than makes up for it.
‘Twas the night before move-in day, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring- except for you, frantically running around and throwing every article of clothing and bath product you own, a picture of your second grade class and your dog into your already oversized suitcase because you procrastinated packing until today.
Move-in day is a rite of passage for every college student. It’s a frantic, chaotic mess of rowdy upperclassmen running you over with carts out of excitement, nervous and sweaty freshmen lugging 90 pound suitcases around in 95% humidity and dads becoming instant BFFs due to their mutual love of saying, “Hi hungry, I’m dad!”
You’re probably a little overwhelmed/excited/hysterical about the year to come, and move-in day is a fitting test for your ability to juggle a million things at once. You’ll be tasked with meeting your roommate, meeting your roommate’s extended family as they harshly judge you and deem you unworthy of their precious offspring, unpacking your endless belongings in a tiny rectangular room while 5 other people in the same tiny rectangle are attempting to do the same thing and preparing to say goodbye to your parents. We know this process can be a little overwhelming, so we’ve prepared you a handy list of Dos and Don’ts to help you navigate what’s sure to be a herculean task:
DO: If your mom wants to make your bed, fold your underwear, or otherwise profoundly embarrass you, let her. No one will notice, and you will be wishing you had your mom to make your bed in about 3 months when you’re sleeping atop a pile of dirty clothes and Epi water bottles.
DON’T: Let your dad bring a giant, unnecessary supply of school supplies into your room, especially pencil sharpeners. He will open the pencil sharpener all over your floor, and you will still be finding pencil shavings embedded in your carpet when you wake up face-down at 4pm on Georgetown Day.
DO: Be nice to your roommate and your roommate’s family, and be considerate during the unpacking process. Nothing says “I’m going to be a generally terrible person to live with!” like taking up the entire room with your 5 suitcases while your roommate has to awkwardly stand in the hallway.
DON’T: Worry too much about impressing anyone on the first day. Everyone is just as stressed out as you are, and no one is paying too much attention to what you or your parents are doing. You’ll have trouble recalling who you met on move-in day and who you met at your first Brown House party by the end of October.
DO: Give your family a huge hug, don’t be afraid to be yourself in your new environment, and get ready for an amazing first year at Georgetown. We can’t wait to meet you!
If you’re an incoming freshman, chances are, you’re freaking out about finding a roommate. CHARMS is taking over your life with the insidiousness of Facebook or Instagram but with almost no functionality or efficiency. You constantly check to see if that seemingly awesome person has messaged you back. All the nicknames in your account are some nonsensical collection of “Dog girl” (the girl said she liked dogs), “Taylor Swift” (she seems to have a little bit of an obsession), and “pillow” (it was the first word that popped into your head). We understand that you might be a little overwhelmed with the whole process: after all, you will be sharing breathing space and a 16’x10′ rectangle with this person for an entire school year, so you’d better make sure they’re chill.
CHARMS is just like online dating: you write a bunch of lies about yourself in an attempt to make you seem cooler than you are. Here at 4E, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to translate some of the more common things you will read on a potential roommate’s housing application, so that you can make an informed decision when it comes to choosing your new BFF:
1. Social Preferences
When they say: “I care about school, but I also like to have fun.”
They actually mean:“I will, at some point this year, post in the GAAP group about leaving my black North Face at brown house.”
When they say:“I’m totally fine with you bringing girls back to the room, as long as you’ll also stay out when I’m gettin’ some.”
They actually mean:“Neither of us will ever bring a girl back to the room.”
2. Sleeping Preferences
When they say:“I usually try to wake up early, like before 8.”
They actually mean:“I will never wake up before 1pm.”
3. Studying Preferences
When they say:“I’m a bio major on the pre-med track.”
They actually mean:“You will never see me, unless you are in Regents between midnight and 3am.”
4. Music Preferences
When they say:“I like most types of music, but I especially like trap.”
They actually mean:“I will play Trap Queen at least 500 times this semester. Especially if someone cool is walking by the door.”
5. Cleanliness Preferences
When they say:“I’m pretty neat, but I won’t get super mad if you are a little messy!”
They actually mean:“You will never see the floor. You might also find me sleeping with multiple half-eaten Epi quesadillas in my bed.”
6. Free Time Preferences
When they say:“I can’t wait to get out and explore DC!”
They actually mean:“I will not go past the corner of M and Wisconsin the entire year, unless it’s via Uber.”
7. Room Temperature Preferences
When they say: “I like the room to be cold when I sleep.”
They actually mean: “I’m a normal person.”
When they say:“I like the room to be warm when I sleep.”
They actually mean:“I am a sociopath.”
In all seriousness, don’t freak out too much about finding a roommate. You might meet your new best friend, or you might not, but everyone at Georgetown is worth getting to know. And hey, even if you wind up with a crazy roommate, at least you’ll have some stories to tell!
If you go to Georgetown, chances are you know someone (or five-hundred someones) from California. If you know someone from California, you have definitely had to suffer through multiple conversations about how amazing California is, and about how life there is just so much better than life wherever you’re from. As a California native and NorCal apologist, I’ve always been aware that California was something of a strange and mystical land.
A week after returning to the Golden State from Georgetown, I have realized that California is even more ridiculous than you think. We don’t just live up to every stereotype you have about Californians: we are even worse than you could have ever imagined. Here is a rundown of some of the things I have encountered during my first week back in the San Francisco Bay Area:
The Airport: If you have ever had a two minute conversation with me, I have probably brought up how amazing SFO is, and you probably were annoyed and tried to change the subject. If you ever doubted things you’ve heard about California, your doubts will be erased the minute you step off your plane and into the airport. First of all, SFO has a Yoga Room. Second of all, SFO has a farmer’s market. Let me repeat-there is a farmer’s market inside of an airport. California.
The Food: On my first day at home, I decided to make myself a PB&J. The peanut butter: all-natural, unsalted and made with unblanched peanuts. The jelly: organic, locally grown strawberry fruit spread. The bread: organic, non-GMO, with 21 whole grains and seeds. I also found quinoa clusters in my pantry, and wasn’t sure if I should be embarrassed or proud.
The Sports Stadiums: I went to see a Giants baseball game at AT&T Park. Behind center field, AT&T Park has an edible garden that grows blueberries, strawberries, avocados, tomatoes, peppers, squash, lettuces, lemons and kale. This produce is then picked fresh and made into salads, sandwiches and flatbreads that are sold to baseball fans. I am starting to realize why people hate California.
The Workplaces: On my first day at work, I rolled into my office at 9am. In our communal kitchen (which is fully stocked with all-natural tea, ethically-sourced coffee, several different types of recycling containers and three compost bins), there was a bottle of wine sitting on the table with a sign that said “to share.” I have also not seen anyone consuming any foods besides salad, produce and copious amounts of coffee.
The Conversations: Here are some actual things I have heard people say since I’ve been home- “I ate too much quinoa to eat my dolma too.” “Hold on, I have quinoa in my teeth.” “That new farm-to-table marijuana delivery startup is doing well.”
The Transportation: On Thursday, it was bike-to-work day in SF – as if everyone here doesn’t already ride their bike to work every day. I’ve also participated in something called casual carpool, where you literally just get into a random person’s car and ride into the city for $1. I’m pretty sure this is something that would only happen on the West Coast. Bonus: I saw someone simultaneously driving a Prius and playing a guitar.
They say stereotyping is bad, but I am here to confirm that every stereotype about California is completely and totally true. And with that, I will return to eating my organic avocado and kale salad and sipping on my acai and wheatgrass smoothie.
Finals season: it’s the most wonderful gut-wrenching time of the year! Besides spending an inhumane amount of time in the Lau basement, imbibing unhealthy amounts of caffeine, and sleeping at wholly inappropriate hours, you have likely been doing some odd things in an attempt to avoid studying.
Perhaps you have taken a Buzzfeed quiz entitled “Which Mesozoic Era Are You?” (I’m Cretaceous). Perhaps you have found yourself stalking your Grandmother’s Facebook with alarming regularity, or accidentally liking your friend’s boyfriend’s roommate’s little sister’s Instagram post from 73 weeks ago.
It may seem like you are running out of appropriate ways to procrastinate, but don’t worry! 4E is here to save the day with some innovative procrastination methods guaranteed to help you put off studying for your finals until the last possible minute.
1. Watch all 33 chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”
“Trapped in the Closet” is a musical and visual masterpiece. The “hip hopera” will also give you some tips and tricks for what to do next time you are forced to hide in a closet from your lover’s husband.
Time wasted: 133 minutes
2. Wait in the Leo’s pasta line
Usually reserved for special occasions and days during which you have a burning desire to wait in line for an unreasonable amount of time, the Leo’s pasta line is a prime destination for procrastination. Not only will you use up a substantial portion of your study time, you will also be rewarded with a delicious bowl of handcrafted pasta.
Time wasted: 25-45 minutes
3. Listen to your voicemails
Those voicemails on your phone won’t just listen to themselves, you know. What better time than finals week to catch up on the 47 voice messages from your mom passive-aggressively letting you know that you need to call her back immediately?
Time wasted: Varies, depending on whether you delete voicemails immediately or let them sit there because who knows, you might get to them eventually.
4. Go on a scavenger hunt in the ICC
If you’re brave enough for this suggestion, just be sure to bring plenty of food and water (suggested amount: seven days worth). Also make sure to tell at least one person where you are going so that the search and rescue team will know where to look.
Time wasted: possibly eternity
5. Plan your wedding to that boy/girl in your history class that you’re in love with but have never talked to
First, decide on the perfect venue. Then, figure out what flavor you want your cake to be, make the guest list and pick out the dress. While you’re at it, you should probably also shoot a text to your preferred Maid of Honor or Best Man and hammer down a date. Maybe you’ll even drum up the courage to start a conversation with your intended spouse!
Time wasted: depends on how many things you already have pinned to your Pinterest board
6. Watch the entirety of Weird Al’s “Trapped in the Drive-Thru”
This odyssey of a song is the definition of lyrical genius. It even has a twist ending!
Time wasted: 11 minutes that you will never get back
7. Rearrange the furniture on Lau 5
All those cubicles are not conducive to group projects or chats with your friends. Restore feng shui to the library by moving around the tables, desks and chairs as you see fit. You’re sure to get a standing ovation from all the cubicle-dwelling orgo students who have been deprived of human contact for who knows how long.
Time wasted: 120 minutes. Possibly longer if someone doesn’t appreciate your designing prowess and decides to engage in a verbal altercation with you.
8. Fix Congress
You’re a Georgetown student, so you’re definitely opinionated and informed enough to take on this task. Don’t let your years of hard work and infinite depths of knowledge go to waste!
Time wasted: ????
We hope these suggestions have given you some inspiration for your next procrastination tactic. Good luck on your finals and on getting Congressional Democrats and Republicans to agree on something!
Hello, and welcome to the other side of Georgetown Day. I am happy to report that I made it through my first Georgetown Day alive and with my dignity (mostly) intact.
In fact, my biggest Georgetown Day fail was ordering a Chicken Madness without cheese or mayo, which is probably considered a sin in almost every world religion. In addition to a lifetime of memories, I also gained two unidentified pairs of sunglasses, got a sunburn, took a nap on Copley Lawn and harassed someone into giving me a bite of their Burger Madness.
Although my Georgetown Day was fairly standard and uneventful, there are many things that could have happened that would have made the day a legendary mess. Here are a few things that could have turned Georgetown Day from fun to frightening:
I did not fall off of a Vil A rooftop, end up hopelessly lost and wandering in the ICC, or jump into anyone’s Uber.
I did not end up lost and confused in Bethesda or New Carrollton. My obsession with the Metro could very easily have resulted in disastrous consequences.
I did not end up on the bottom of the Tidal Basin. Side note: I am somewhat surprised that this has never happened to someone on Georgetown Day.
I’m glad you made it out of Georgetown Day in one piece. If you’re conscious and reading this, your life isn’t totally ruined beyond repair, so congratulations! Go forth and prosper with your new memories and stories from everyone’s favorite day of the year.
This Monday is a very important day for many DC residents: April 20, or 4/20, is a day of celebration for the flowering plant known as cannabis.
Although marijuana use is not legal for DC residents under 21 or anywhere on Georgetown’s campus, 4E has come up with several ways for you to partake in the 4/20 festivities without breaking the law or suffering from the terrible, and probably fatal, medical effects of marijuana use.
1. Get breakfast at First Bake at Farmers Fishers Bakers to get your 4/20 started off right. Enjoy a pot of coffee with your cinnamon rolls.
2. Grab a cupcake from Baked & Wired – they might even have cannabis-shaped cookies on hand. Eat your dessert on the grass by the waterfront.
3. Treat yourself to falafel from Amsterdam Falafelshop in Adam’s Morgan or on 14th Street. To celebrate Amsterdam’s status as the weed capitol of the world, the falafel joint is featuring a special 4/20 pairing menu so that you can get the perfect pita combination to complement your strain of choice.
4. Enjoy a crepe from Muncheez on Wisconsin. Their nutella crepe is dope.
GTFO is back, and here to help you find more ways to leave campus. With finals coming up
Oops, where was I? Anyways, with finals coming up, 4E has decided to help you find free hidden study spots throughout DC. If caffeine isn’t your thing, don’t fret! There are plenty of non-coffee-shop ways to escape the soul-sucking monstrosity that is Lau, the primal fights that arise when two pre-med students fight over a booth in Regents and the smug looks thrown your way out the windows of the MSB castle after your GoCard stops working at midnight.
Here are some of the best places to enhance your studying by exploring DC:
1. The Bishop’s Garden: Pilgrim Rd Washington, DC 20016
What is it: The Bishop’s Garden is located in the back of the National Cathedral, a short two-mile walk from campus.
Why you should go: It’s a great place to sit out in the sun and work on your Problem of God paper or read John Calvin. Although there’s no wifi, the garden is a peaceful place to get work done and escape the masses of stressed out students.
How to get there: if you aren’t feeling the 2 mile walk, you can take the 30S bus up Wisconsin.
2. Kogod Courtyard: 8th St NW & F St NW, Washington, DC 20001
What is it: Located inside the National Portrait Gallery/Smithsonian American Art Museum, Kogod Courtyard is a cool modern space with lots of tables and free wifi.
Why you should go: If you get tired of studying, you can check out the America’s Presidents gallery or the American Art Museum exhibits (arguably the coolest museum in DC). Bonus: Shake Shack is right across the street.
How to get there: Take the D6 bus to 7th and E, or the Metro red line from Dupont to Gallery Place.
3. The Metro
What is it: This might be a me thing (OK, it’s definitely a me thing), but the Metro is arguably the best study spot in DC.
Why you should go: People-watching is by far the best form of procrastination, and when you’re sick of contemplating the intricacies of macroeconomics, you can contemplate the underground architectural marvel that is the WMATA. Bonus: there’s almost nothing in life as satisfying as riding the Metro to the end of the line, walking across the platform, and getting back on the train going the other way. I also should probably find a hobby other than obsessing over the Metro.
How to get there: If you’re a blue/silver/orange line person, hop on the GUTS bus from Rosslyn and take the Metro from there. If you’re a red line person, take the GUTS bus to Dupont to begin the best study session of your life.
4. Constitution Gardens:
What is it: Constitution Gardens is another outdoor option for all you lucky people who don’t get sunburned after spending two minutes outside.
Why you should go: Located near the Reflecting Pool but away from all the tourists, Constitution Gardens is a beautiful spot to relax under the shadow of the Washington Monument. Bask in the glory of ‘Merica while cranking out some reading.
How to get there: Constitution Gardens is very close to the Lincoln Memorial, so it’s a doable walk or bike ride. You can also get pretty close using the D6 bus or the Foggy Bottom Metro stop.
5. The Library of Congress: 101 Independence Ave SE, Washington, DC 20540
What is it: The reading room at the Library of Congress is the most legit place to study in the District.
Why you should go: Studying in the hallowed halls of the LoC is a great procrastination preventer as going on Facebook seems sacrilegious when you’re surrounded by actual researchers doing actual research. Bonus: Having a Library of Congress card automatically makes you an ultimate swagmaster and way cooler than all of your friends. Flash that baby at Brown House and you will never again be asked, “Who do you know here?”
How to get there: Both the 30S and the D6 bus will get you within walking distance of the Library. You can also take the Metro from Rosslyn to the Capitol South stop.
Take advantage of all the awesome places DC has to offer, and GTFO during your finals cram sessions. Lau 2 will always be here to welcome you back with open arms and negative productivity.
Attention people! Today, Tuesday, April 14th is the most important day of the year: Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s.
As you’ve probably noticed, we here at 4E love lists, so we decided to make a list of things that are better than Ben & Jerry’s free cone day:
Be sure to visit our local Ben & Jerry’s at 3135 M Street (aka make a pilgrimage to Mecca) to get your free cone from now until 8 pm. Bonus: the walk to the shop will be a nice change to your usual routine of trekking to Vittles, grabbing a carton and watching Netflix while shoveling ice cream into your mouth.
Whether you’re a New York Super Fudge Chunk connoisseur or a Phish Food fanatic, today is sure to be the highlight of the year. Go solo or with friends, but don’t miss out on the chance to acquire free happiness and joy in its most pure form.