This is your official notice that the GUSA Town Hall happening tonight is actually going to be interesting. A write-in ticket has announced that it will hold an alternative town hall. More importantly, Hot Chick and Chicken Madness will be at the university-sanctioned town hall to answer your questions. Sandwiches will present at a town hall meeting. Sandwiches will speak.
If there were ever a campaign season that necessitated drinking, it’s this year’s GUSA debacle. Here are the rules that will help get you through tonight’s town hall:
Someone claiming to be a translator brings a Hot Chick and a Chicken Madness
You learn the name(s) of candidate(s) who have already dropped out
You learn the name(s) of candidate(s) who are still in the running
Someone mentions “Diversity though inclusion”
A candidate acts like he or she can “fix” the campus plan
Todd Olson comes up
Chris promises to be “inclusive”
Hot Chick declares that the use of hoverboards is a natural right
Someone mentions Aramark and/or its contract with the university
The counter-town hall ticket shows up
Anyone name drops an administrator like they’re old friends
This is a real first paragraph of a real majority opinion published at the close of a real D.C. Circuit of the U.S. Court of Appeals case.
Judge Janice Rogers Brown, who penned the opinion, explains in the next paragraph how the sitcom applies to her case about a D.C. school director’s fraud and the federal government’s seizure of school property. Apparently, the Fed excluded the SunRise academy from the director’s criminal case saying that it could appeal for its property in a third party forfeiture proceeding. When SunRise tried this, the federal government said SunRise was barred because of information that was exposed in the criminal case they were excluded from.
Basically: “heads the government wins and tails SunRise loses.”
Brown seems to think that Rachel’s coin toss was #notcool and neither was the federal government’s decision.
Whatever, Rachel. You know that coin toss was lame.
The moral of this story is that you should stop studying and get on with Season Ten, Episode 5, “The One Where Rachel’s Babysitter Babysits,” because Friends knowledge is more important than Econ Stat knowledge.
After Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Marco Rubio announced their candidacy, 4E started doing thorough research so we can tell you all who to support on Election Day. We scanned a few “Ready for Hillary” Facebook posts and read a cbsnews.com article called “Five things to know about Marco Rubio” for some reliable information. #listiclesinformthemasses
The last “thing to know” about Marco Rubio was that “he speaks the language of younger voters.” Fun fact: he knows what a meme is and listens to Tupac and “Straight Outta Compton” by N.W.A.! Even though “Straight Outta Compton” was released seven years before I was born and Tupac died the year after, Rubio is still listening to rap music so he must be super hip.
As much as I was thrilled to find out that Marky Mark Rubio is down with the youths, I was mostly excited to hear that he has decided to share his love for music with the world.
That’s right, Marco’s got a Spotify playlist! His name is marco_rubio and he’s about to lay down the jams with a playlist called “What I’m Currently Listening To.”
It’s actually not bad. Our favorites are “Pumped up Kicks” by Foster the People, “Feel so Close” by Calvin Harris and “Changes” by our friend 2Pac.
4E enjoyed Marco Rubio’s favorite hits and we feel like we’ve learned a lot about the man – not just the candidate – by jamming with him.
Marco is a bit ahead of the game as no other candidate has shared his or her musical preferences on Spotify. So now 4E is calling on all of the candidates running for the presidency in 2016 to create a Spotify playlist for all of the “younger voters.”
The other candidates might not have as hip taste as Marco, but we’re sure they listen to a few songs we could work with. Either way we’d like to hear what pumps them up and get “turnt” with Hill-Dawg, DJ Cruz and Rowdy Randy.
After last year’s overwhelming success, the OWN IT Summit is back! As The Hoya is the campus media partner, 4E will be periodically bringing you profiles of the illustrious speakers. Our second featured speaker is the poet, arts education advocate and CEO Azure Antoinette.
She was called “the Maya Angelou of the Millennial Generation” by Forbes Magazine when they included her in their 2012 “100 Most Powerful Women in the World.”
Azure worked in human resources for six and a half years. One day she heard a Def Poetry Jam poem that ended with the line, “Do not let this universe regret you.” The next morning she quit her job to become a poet. She had $4 in her bank account but she says she was happy.
Now she’s taking over the world.
In addition to being a phenom poet, she is the founder and CEO of the Aalchemik Collective. The collective includes an independent publishing house, an apparel company, a visual art incubator that supports urban art, and STODIO: Alchemy, an arts education organization, which motivates and teaches 15 to 22-year-old artists.
Azure has written for Maria Shriver, The Gap, Johnson & Johnson, Beats By Dr. Dre, Girl Scouts of America, The Documentary Group, California Arts Council and American Cancer Society’s benefit Art 4 Life. She is an official Clean & Clear Ambassador for the “See the Real Me” campaign and has published the books BitterSweet, Commissioned and Commissioned: The Back Story.
I don’t know about the women in your family but, when it comes to awards shows, my ladies get serious. Last night, when we found ourselves separated during the Golden Globes, we promptly started a group message and carried on as if we were all home and had shunned the boys to their football upstairs.
I was at a 4E meeting (THANKS EMILY) for most of the red carpet portion of the night (Emily: No problem girl! Any time!) so I was not as active in our conversation as I would have liked, but I will interject as I please here. Allow me to introduce to you: Fashion Police: The Holland Women Edition.
The conversations went a little like this:
Sister Holland: “Let’s get this group text going! Mom you keep emailing me instead of texting.”
Mama Holland: “Send me a text and I’ll stick to it.”
Sister Holland: “Just keep responding to this one. The one about mango salsa was an email.”
Mama Holland: “Ethan Hawke looking fine. Lorde is also impressive.”
Sister Holland: “I do like Lorde’s look.”
Me: “I agree ladies. Lorde is fierce. Love her hair. Who’s next?”
Mama Holland: “Giuliana’s hair looks fried and in need of a serious haircut. Too much boob. She needs a different neck line.”
Mama Holland: “I think I saw Tina Fey with a pretty ponytail.”
Mama Holland: “Yuck Brandi Chastain looks like Jessica Rabbit.”
Me: “The resemblance is eery. Unfortunate because she normally brings her A-game.”
Mama Holland: “I love Sienna’s dress. LOVE.”
Me: “LOVE AS WELL. CAN I HAVE IT?” (No response)
Mama Holland: “Love Maggie Gyllenhaal. Who’s Anna Kendrick? So pretty.”
Sister Holland: “She’s in Pitch Perfect. So awesome.”
Me: “When I’m gone… When I’m gooooone!”
Mama Holland: “Love Christian Dior on Felicity.”
Me: “Omg. Can I make this a blog post please?”
Sister Holland: “Downton!!!”
Mama Holland: “Downton wins!!!!!! … Are you mocking me, Emma?”
Sister Holland: “No, mom. I seriously think it would be a hit.”
Me: “No I’m not. You’re right about everything. Keep it coming.”
Mom: “I’m switching to Downton at 9…. Downton.”
Mama Holland: “Oooh Naomi needs a Sephora color specialist to check her foundation.”
Sister Holland: “Lol”
Mama Holland: “Do we like Kerry Washington’s dress? I think I don’t love it.”
Sister Holland: “I like the cut but not loving the colors.”
Mama Holland: “Agreed. Love the cut of the top.”
Me: “Same… Did you guys see the opening monologue? So funny.”
Sister Holland: “With Amy and Tina? They’re amazing. The Bill Cosby jokes? Yikes.”
Me: “I know but I think it was kind of awesome.”
Mama Holland: “I didn’t think it was that funny. Not their best work.”
Mama Holland: “Good night girls. Love you xoxo”
We love you too, Mom.
Conclusions: The Holland women are on a first name basis with all the celebs, we have high-ass standards and we love Downton Abbey more than exclamation points can express.
Welcome back to campus guys! While I hope you’re all enjoying the fleeting days far away from Lauinger, I must warn you of two possible life-threatening dangers on campus.
First of all, there is a nearly imperceptible trail of ice in front of Walsh. It’s dangerous. I almost broke my legs while performing an accidental split over the ice. But, I recovered.
The second biggest danger to me and to all of you is very clearly perceivable and it has come in the form of a cute little ghost.
If you have a Snapchat, you know that Georgetown Campus Snap Story is NOT affiliated with, licensed by or sponsored by Georgetown University, but anyone on campus can view Our Campus Story and add to it, making it extremely dangerous for accidental screen-shotters.
Here are the things that terrify me about the new Georgetown Campus addition to the Snapchat app.
Sexting. I don’t want to see it, but it’s bound 2 happen. Before you “accidentally” post your anonymous genitalia to the story Saturday night, remember that youths may use this app on campus while walking to mass on Sunday morning.
Feeling FOMO. I know there will be a few Friday nights that I’ll sadly sit in Saxby’s, do minimal work on a paper and wish I was out on the town. Before I only had to fight the temptation to follow my friends’ nights on Snapchat. Now the entire Georgetown population will be working together to show me what I’m missing.
Regrets. My snap stories are often embarrassing, but on the weekend my snap stories are flat-out regrettable. I don’t need to share my regrets with the entire student body. But I might. I just might do it.
My Ethics Professor. He’s young, he has long hair and he cares about the environment. He’s probably hip enough to have a Snapchat. Unfortunately, anyone on campus can see the Georgetown snap story so my ethics professor could possibly see me or any of my classmates in a new, unflattering light.
Power in the Wrong Hands. Absolute power corrupts absolutely and I’m afraid a few of our Georgetown comrades will monopolize the Our Campus upgrade.
Finally, I was terrified of what the snap story would show us about our student body. I was concerned for a while that we would collectively come to the conclusion that we’re all basically the same, coffee-drinking, Friends-watching college kid. After seeing what seemed like three goofy, dancing, sweater-clad guys in a row on our story I decided that if we were all the same, at least we were fun. Then, as the snaps continued to pour in, I saw lab time, RHO work, common room leaks, canal hockey, pep-talk givers, seniors enjoying senior night, Joe Biden, beautiful, stylish people and one Ritz cracker enthusiast. You guys are actually really cool and now my fear is that I am not nearly cool enough to find something to share with you all.
Merry merry finals everyone! We hope you’re all feeling jolly as ever. I know I am. This year I’m grateful to be sitting on cozy Lau 4 instead of dealing with drunk Santas on the LIRR.
Here at 4E we know that many of you are getting through the finals slog by hitting up your trusty Christmas playlist. We have a new one to help you spice things up: The Essential Christmas Rap Playlist. Enjoy and have a very Ludachristmas.
1. Ludachristmas Ludacris
We’ve never been happier to hear Luda’s jolly laugh. He just wants to spread a little cheer with his Christmas tree decked with toilet paper and some Jolly Ranchers and candy canes.
2. Sleigh Ride TLC
They don’t want scrubs for Christmas, so Prancer better not be hanging out of the passenger side of Santa’s ride trying to holler at them. T-Boz wants headphone sets and a fly dress for Christmas. And they all want love and joy and happiness and lots of good cheer.
3. Christmas in Harlem Kanye West ft. Featuring Cam’ron, Jim Jones, Vado, Cyhi Da Prynce, Pusha-T, Musiq Soulchild, Teyana Taylor and Big Sean
This may be the greatest Christmas song I’ve ever heard. Would you expect anything less from a self-proclaimed God?
4. Jingle Bells Trey Songz ft. Flo Rida
This music video is so wholesome, it makes us uncomfortable. Where is the Trey Songz we know and love? What is the point of the scarf? Trey Songz asked Santa for jewels this year and Flo Rida asked for this song to end.
5. Christmas in Hollis Run DMC
Run wants an ill reindeer for Christmas. He also wants a million dollars to buy a boat and a matching car but he doesn’t want it bad enough to steal a million dollars from Santa’s wallet.
6. Deck Da Club Ying Yang Twins
The Ying Yang Twins want the club to be decked in boughs of money this Christmas. I will be in search of the Ying Yang Twins this holiday season. I would like a bough of money.
7. A Christmas F*cking Miracle Run The Jewels
This song is not as fun as you would expect. In fact it’s not fun at all. We don’t really know why we included it, but it has Christmas in the title and the music video is great. El-P wants to learn to look both ways both ways before he crosses the street for Christmas.
8. A Jehovah’s Christmas Troy and Abed
Your favorite characters from Community devise a plan to allow a Jehovah’s Witness, Troy, to celebrate Christmas and participate in the Glee’s Club’s Christmas pageant. Troy wants to finally earn Kendrick Lamar’s respect this year (don’t we all?).
We’re going to Disney World! Actually we’re going to the Elite 8, but that’s pretty cool too. This Sunday, Georgetown Men’s Soccer beat Syracuse and earned themselves a spot in the Elite 8 of the NCAA tournament. 4E is excited because we’re die-hard soccer fans.
Today, the Hoyas will face UVA on Shaw Field at 1 p.m.
4E has put together a few game day sign suggestions for you all. We tried to provide a variety for Hoyas who know Josh Yaro’s name and for everyone else who isn’t as “sporty.”
Things to know: Calle Brown is UVA’s Senior Goalkeeper and Josh Yaro is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
What’s a Wahoo?
The guy behind me can’t see.
Thomas Jefferson wore Crocs.
Calle Brown drinks Sugar Cookie Burnett’s.
Calle Brown Hates Santa Claus.
Calle Brown Enjoys Coffee Dates.
Calle Brown Smells Like Leo’s.
Calle Brown only does it for the Insta.
Is this Foxfield?
One Time Josh Yaro Punched Me in the Face… It Was Awesome.
He which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart.
Cavalry is Dead!
Where’s Lee Corso?
Virginia is for Haters
I Was Promised Georgetown Cupcakes.
This is NO TIME to be cavalier.
Narps Care About Athletes
We got into UVA too. #twinsies
God bless Us, Every One!
All I want for Christmas is a National Championship.
That’s all Folks! Get ready for game day, make some genius signs and remember to have fun with it. Also if you know where we can find poster board, please let us know.
This is it, guys. It’s lovely! The new lowerclassmen dorm will be eight stories tall and will accommodate 225 students.
Sasaki Associates, the architects of the Residence, have designed the first LEED-certified residence hall on campus by including a green roof and other green features. There will be a lot of greenery around the dorm too. In fact, the building will only take up 50 percent of the space that is being worked on and the rest will be green space.
On the east side of the Residence, where there used to be an unused grassy hill, Sasaki Associates plans to create a terrace area including a sloped lawn and a patio. Perrenials, river birch trees, oak trees and scilla siberica will be planted among a few of the existing trees.
The ground floor of the Residence won’t be any old lobby either. It will serve as a study area with meeting spaces for residents and non-residents. The ground floor will feature many tall windows so it seems like the ground floor flows into the outdoor space on the west side of the building. This west side will be renovated as well as the east side (bye Reiss Pathway). There will be new seating and it will be ADA accessible from Red Square.
We’re most excited to annonce that the new dorm will be key-less. Residents will use their GOCards to get inside the building and swipe into their rooms. As every forgetful Hoya knows, replacing a GOCard costs $25, while replacing a key costs $75. I have a feeling that everyone living in the Residence will be feeling super zen, even if they tend to lose things.
The Residence residents will get another oportunity to work on their zen in the “contemplative” room on the seventh floor, which we assume will have a similar purpose tp the John Main Meditation center. The floor plan also shows us that rooms will be set up in suites for two, four and six people and there will be a kitchen and lounge on each floor. The first floor also features an indoor bike storage room. The Residence is about to be one of the most beautiful dorms on campus and we can’t wait. But we’ll have to. The new dorm is only scheduled to be completed and ready for move-in by fall 2016 and is intended for sophomores, so none of us are in the running to live there. We hope the current high school seniors fated to go to Georgetown appreciate their future home. And we hope they won’t mind us hanging out in and around the Residence every chance we get.
Info: geogetown.edu Photo: blogs.commons.georgetown.edu/masterplanning, Northeast Triangle Residence Hall Old Georgetown Board/CFA Review