Hump Day Chomp: Kapnos

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It’s the middle of winter and you’re looking awfully thin. No fear! 4E is here to help you get that little extra blubber so that your grandma Gertrude can stop force-feeding you. This Hump Day Chomp is dedicated to Kapnos, a fantastic Greek restaurant located on the Corner of 14th and W St. (It’s also 3 blocks from the U St/African-American Civil War Memorial/Cardozo metro station, but I’ve already fallen twice on my buttocks this week so please take that Uber.)

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If you’re into 50 Shades of Grey, you will be pleased to know that the restaurant has dim lighting and an overall sexy atmosphere. The point of Kapnos, my friends, is to get a whole lot of mezze for the table and eat as much as you can by shoving your arm in front of your date’s face. We started off with their famous spreads (the pikilia offers a sample of 3) with warm flatbread, and then moved on to the mezze-like charred octopus, marinated spring lamb, falafel, and spiced baby goat (sad, I know, yet delicious). Their wine menu is a mélange of Italian and Greek wines that were surprisingly good (not that I tried all of them, calm yo self). Everything we ordered was amazing, and the small plates are a great way to try something new without crying that you ordered something you didn’t like. Wouldn’t want to ruin your mascara.

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While the Greeks may not have their structural deficit [email protected]# together, you can be sure they know how to serve some damn good tzatziki. So if you feel like you’ve been, ehem, spreading yourself too thin this week, take a break and try Kapnos!

Kapnos
2201 14th St NW
Washington, DC 20009

202-234-5000

Photos: kapnosdc.com, dishbloggers.com

Before You Throw a Reefer Rager…

hoyaPOTWARNINGIn case you missed the news this past week, marijuana was legalized on Tuesday when D.C. voters approved Initiative 71 by 69 percent.

But take warning … Before you throw a massive Reefer Madness party this weekend and frolic around Healy Lawn, know that this is just the first step toward total legalization.

As such, marijuana use in D.C. has the following stipulations:

1. Initiative 71 will not go into effect until it clears a 60-day Congressional review period.

2. If Congress does not reject Initiative 71, it will only go into effect until February or early March — just in time for April 20. Coincidence? I think not.

3. The law only applies to people over the age of 21. Too bad, underclassmen.

4. You can possess marijuana if it’s under two ounces. Backpack side pockets are finally useful!

5. Sales of marijuana are still prohibited, so please keep that Dean’s office job.

6. You can cultivate as many as six plants, as long as only three or fewer are mature. Good thing campus housing can only hold about five total.

7. And most restricting of all, smoking on campus is still prohibited. This means you will never be able to legally hug John Carroll while high or use the beakers in the biology lab as bongs (which, considering what those beakers normally contain, would be a pretty bad idea).

So hold tight Hoyas, be safe and keep your eyes on the news, because next semester might just get a whooleee lottt greeenerrrr.

Photos: http://dcmj.org/, http://weknowmemes.com/2013/04/25-best-420-memes/, pinterest.com

Hump Day Chomp: Dukem

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Hump Day Chomp is a new weekly posting that intends, perhaps unsuccessfully, to make your Hump day a bit less humpy. We’ve found restaurants that are (mostly) cheap, rarely visited by our Georgetown amigos and, above all, pretty freaking good to get you through the week. 

I bet you’ve said, “Mmmm I’m craving Ethiopian” about as much as you’ve said, “I need a colonoscopy”, so today’s Hump Day Chomp is written with the intention of changing your mentality. With over 250,000 Ethiopian residents, DC boasts a large number of great Ethiopian restaurants that are cheap, laid-back and Hump Day Chomp-worthy.

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I recently visited Dukem, a small Ethiopian restaurant on U St. Corridor. (You can get to U St. by taking the metro to the U Street-Cardozo Metro Station on the green line.) The restaurant is really casual and cozy, and has a chill terrace facing the bustling area. Dukem serves different types of Ethiopian foods, like fitfit and kitfo, as well as God-knows-what for you vegetarians, but their specialty is Ethiopian injera with wat.

Injera is kind of like a spongy crepe that doubles as a plate to serve a variety of meats, cheeses and vegetables. We ordered a platter of warm injera with a colorful combination of different stews that came in less than 10 minutes and was so big it could barely fit the table. The combination platters are about $20, and are enough to feed an average indigenous Guatemalan family, which, for your information, is 5.2 people. All right, maybe it’s enough to feed just 2 or 3 of you, but that’s still pretty damn cheap.

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The best part? FINGER FOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD. Ethiopians eat exclusively with their right hands, so utensils aren’t even given to you unless you ask for them. You’re supposed to eat whatever you ordered by using pieces of injera to pick up the meats, cheeses and vegetables on top of it. Be warned that these foods have a lot of spices, so some of you might have bowel problems à la Ben Stiller in “Along Came Polly.”

I hope your Hump Day is less humpy than mine, and if it’s not, then stop complaining and go eat with your hands!

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Photos: quickmeme.com, pandawhale.com, blogspot.com

Hump Day Chomp: Toki Underground

humpdaychompHopefully the first of many, Hump Day Chomp is a new weekly posting that intends, perhaps unsuccessfully, to make your Hump day a bit less humpy. We’ve found restaurants that are (mostly) cheap, rarely visited by our Georgetown amigos and, above all, pretty freaking good to get you through the week. So without further ado, I would like to presenteth our first Hump Day Chomp, Toki Underground.

Toki Underground is a small, cozy restaurant located at 1234 H St. NE, nuzzled between another Asian restaurant and one of those dark bars with scary tattooed bartenders. As you go up the narrow stairs, you can hear 90s music playing and Toki’s red lighting infiltrate the walkway. For a split second, I wondered if I was being taken into some sort of Red Light District, praying that I wouldn’t get deported if I somehow got caught. Thankfully, my friend and I were greeted by a smiling hostess.

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Toki does not have any tables — only limited bar seating. The dangling lamps and awesome wall art make you feel as though you are in a hip, hole-in-the-wall in central Kyoto. All germaphobes can rejoice because there is an open kitchen to the left, in case you are worried about the noodle-making process. The waiter behind the bar also happens to be the bartender, which is cool but might lead to poor choices considering you have class on Thursday.

Their menu is pretty short and their specialty is Taiwanese ramen, but they also have different types of dumplings. We ordered the pork dumplings to share and I had the vegetarian ramen that had roasted root vegetables soup, tofu, daikon and shitake mushrooms. My friend had the Toki Classic, with pulled pork and pickled ginger. I immediately regretted my decision.

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Ramen bowls cost $11 or $12, and they are HUGE. You will feel fuller than Chris Christie after an all-you-can-eat buffet at Friday’s, so believe me when I say it’s worth it. They also offer an assortment of Japanese beers and sakes that the waiter/bartender will gladly pair with whatever you decide to order.

All in all, Toki Underground was fan-freaking-tastic. Although you might have to wait a while for the limited bar seating, H Street is a good place to explore while you kill time. They also offer take-out, so give ‘em a call if you’re in a hurry. Once we sat down, however, the food came very quickly. Get out of the Gtown Bubble and have some fun. Remember, winter is coming.

Toki Underground
1234 H St NE
(202) 388-3086
Nearest metro stop: Union Station on the red line. You might want to share an Uber once you get there, as H St. is more than a mile from the stop.

It’s 9:30 Time

Cherub

Sexy. Racy. Somewhat indecent. No, I’m not talking about Kim Kardashian’s new selfies, but about Cherub’s set at 9:30 Club last week. Cherub, consisting of Jordan Kelly and Jason Huber from Nashville, formed in 2010 and has since produced four awesome albums, the latest of which is Year of the Caprese. They are most known for their bouncy single, “Doses and Mimosas”, which topped Billboard’s Alternative Songs chart this February. In case you can’t tell, this song doesn’t exactly boast the deepest of lyrics, but like all their music it’s catchy and fun to dance to. In my opinion, the lesser-known songs, like “Love You Right” and “Lynndenberries”, are the true crème de la crème of their repertoire.

After seeing the electro-funk duo in New York City a couple of years ago, I became a huge fan of their groovy, rather bad-mouthed music and prayed to the sweet Lord that I would be able to see them again live. Luckily, they decided to stop by D.C. on their Champagne Showers tour at the best concert venue in town, 9:30 Club, on the eastern end of U St. corridor.

Always on latino time, I arrived pretty late and only caught the last few songs of the opening act, Ghost Beach. This New York-based twosome sounds like the love child of 1980s pop music and smooth electronica, and the only thing more awesome than their jams was one of the dude’s majestic afro.

The concert was incredibly packed and sold-out since September, with thirsty students scrambling for their beers before Cherub arrived on stage. The last time I saw them, two girls threw their lacy A-cup bras at Jason’s face, so I was excited to see what was in store for them that night. After an eternal 10-minute wait, Jordan and a barefoot Jason came out, dressed with floral bandanas, buttoned-up collars and a whole lot of denim. They started off with less popular songs, like “Jazzercise ‘95” and “Don’t Forget Me” and slowly built up to the hits like “Heartbreaker”, “Monogamy” and “XOXO”. The duo is amazing live not only because they dance like a slightly anesthetized Mick Jagger, but because they add a lot more jazzy, sexy notes to existing songs. Cherub killed it again, playing a funky cover of Calvin Harris’ “Feel So Close” and ending, as always, with an extended version of “Doses and Mimosas”.

Although there was no bra-chucking, their new set and sweaty moves definitely made up for it. Cherub’s concert was a great way to unwind after a busy week, so if midterms and White House break-ins have you feeling stressed, know that 9:30 is always a good time.

Upcoming Concerts:
– Sound Remedy – Oct. 10th ($18)
– Citizen Cope – Oct. 12th ($46)
– Julian Casablancas – Oct. 17th ($35)
– Cold War Kids – Oct. 24th ($28)
– RAC – Oct. 26th ($28)
– Smallpools & Magic Man – Oct. 31st ($46)

9:30 Club 815 V St NW, Washington, DC 20001
(202) 265-0930