Demanding exhaustive research, writing skills, patience and a healthy dose of B.S., the quest for an internship epitomizes a resume-worthy job in itself. Yet, in our endeavors to quench our hunger for career potential, we, smart, competent Georgetown leaders morph into Oliver Twist as we humbly beg for “more” hours, “more” pay and “more” responsibility.
The application process is almost Dickensian: while we work tirelessly to succeed, potential employers ignore us, minimize us and belittle us. Although I understand we are only interns, we still deserve the respect that accompanies the supposedly essential career steppingstone. Here is a list of problems we endure during the application process that if we ever did to a professor or boss we quickly would be axed:
1. The Time Delay: Waiting to hear back from an internship is like the less fun version of constantly checking your phone for a text from a friend. If your friend responds to you a month later, you’d be like “please, I asked to go to Wisey’s a month ago (but I’ll still go now because I’m always game).” If an employer rejects you a month after your application, it’s like responding to an invitation a month late saying you can’t come: it hurts both ways.
2. The No-Response: Can’t employers just send a form letter? There is no reason to completely ignore an application to which a student has dedicated time and energy. Ignoring a resume mirrors when the person you swipe right on tinder clearly swiped left and you pretend like you don’t care, but you kind of do. Except the stakes are slightly higher.
3. The Informal Language: Even though I’m not a monocle-wearing Victorian or my mom requiring no “text” language at the dinner table, I like to receive emails with a formal greeting and ending. Don’t write “hi there” and not sign your name to our first interaction. Maybe I’m being obnoxious, but if you are going to put me through two interviews and a potential security clearance, I don’t want to be addressed like a cowpoke.
4. The Inflexibility: This isn’t a high functioning mafia network: since you took two months to process my application, I get at least a week to make a decision.
5. The Pay, or Lack thereof: [Insert sassy political statement about how the insistence on unpaid internships exacerbates economic disparities and imposes unfair barriers on many qualified, talented applicants who can’t afford to work for free]
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