With the GUSA elections heating up, both on and off the griddle, two sandwiches seem to have taken the campus by storm as they continue to rally a surprising amount of support amongst students. Considered the Holy Grail by all who have had the pleasure of gracing Wisemiller’s fine establishment, it’s clear that this fan favorite ticket has the potential to spice things up this election season. As many students are left salivating at the thought of two sandwiches overseeing student affairs, they are also left wondering just how the sandwich plans to change campus life for the better. Fortunately, the sandwiches behind the campaign agreed to grant 4E an ~exclusive~ interview for an inside look at their vision for a tastier Georgetown.
Why did you choose to put Hot Chick up for President and Chicken Madness for VP this year?
As we have previously stated, it’s 2016. It’s about time the Chick came first. With all due respect to Madness’s reliability as a sandwich, we believe Hot Chick, with her bold paprika-based flavor, is more than capable of leading GUSA.
Does Hot Chick’s hotness impact her ability to govern at all?
Absolutely not, in fact her zest and full-bodied flavor are assets that we intend to leverage to bring flavor back to the Hilltop. Her attractiveness does not and should not have any impact on her ability to govern. She’s an accomplished, flavorful and beloved sandwich. That is what matters in this race. Not her looks (which are to die for).
On a similar note: why does Hot Chick have to be “hot?” Can’t we just call her “beautiful” to fight sexism on campus?
Chicks are hot in all sorts of ways. Hot Chick owns her hotness and recognizes that. Our vision for Georgetown is one where everyone can embrace and own their hotness.
How can you expect to be taken seriously when you’re constantly flip flopping on the grill?
We’re not flip-flopping per se, we’re just getting used to the heat the top job brings. Let’s just say, we’re used to getting grilled. And on that note, our only hope is that the GUSA election committee doesn’t discriminate against well-seasoned chicken when they want to deny us entry into the debate. We do, after all, have more people attending our election-event than another well-known ticket.
Can you talk a bit about the general lack of diversity on your ticket as you’re both pieces of white meat?
If I could make an observation, our ticket contains (in no particular order) poultry meat, onions, bacon, peppers, tomatoes, peppercorn dressing, bread and numerous other ingredients. Far from just being “white meat.” And, as we are all well aware, the color of one’s meat does not determine one’s ability to lead.
If your goal is to make Georgetown more inclusive, how will you accommodate the vegetarians?
We totally embrace the idea that you can make any number of substitutions to your order. Anything on our menu is up for changes — tell us exactly how you want it, and we will deliver (and by deliver, we mean pick up for carry out).
We noticed that The Georgetown Academy recently endorsed your campaign on their blog, how do you feel about this?
While we do go by the adage, “all press is good press”, we want to emphasize that our platform is built on one of inclusion and diversity. No one at this school should feel discriminated against or harassed because they chose not to get onions on their sandwich, or wanted a gluten-free option. Those are not the ideals that this school was founded upon. Although we appreciate their support, our vision for Georgetown is very much different from the one that they espouse.
Finally, for our readers who want to support your ticket, will you be accepting Flex dollars as campaign contributions?
We pride ourselves on being the only campaign that is self-funded. However for every $7.95 that you donate we will be giving out free sandwiches of your choice as a token of our gratitude for your support.
Feel like you’ve been swayed by the chicks’ deliciousness? Don’t forget to vote in the GUSA election next Thursday!
Photo/Gif: facebook.com, giphy.com