“Totally Real” Yahoo Answers: The 4th Edition

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We did not make this up, or at least, the questions. Pulled straight from the World Wide Web’s very own Yahoo Answers, 4E has picked out some classic questions from the “education” category. We tried to come up with an answer with common sense, but sometimes the questions are too much…

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Are 60 seconds and 1 minute really the same?

No, absolutely NOT.  This common misconception is all part of the Illuminati’s plot to make us lose track of time as they slowly take control over our minds #conspiracy.  Rihanna writing that she’s “four five seconds from wildin'” is a perfect example of their work.  What does that even mean, and why is “wildin'”?  The world will never know, but luckily there are some people working to prevent the Illuminati from gaining complete control.  After all, we can thank Rebecca Black for helping us to accurately remember the days of the week!  Just keep reciting her insightful lyrics and remember ~they’re watching~.

What does “K” mean in terms of money?

K, noun, is a term that delves into the question of the existence of money. Where does it come from? Is it a figment of my imagination? How do I got more of it? Derived from the infamous Kardashian family, K is demonstrative of how money exists seemingly without grounding; it is something that just ~is~.

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How do I get my sister not to go to college?

In researching the answer to this question, some sources actually provided reasons like: since she’s a girl she shouldn’t make money, a college degree would guilt her husband into letting her get a job (oh no!), and college will make her promiscuous (so truuuuu). In light of these answers, our answer is that your sister MUST go to college to combat these ludicrous ideas that say she shouldn’t.

What incantations work best for summoning Jesus?

The absolute best way to bring Jesus back from the dead is to wear your pajamas inside out, run around your dining room table five times, and leave a spoon under your pillow.  Ironically this also works for snow days!  If you’re not really feeling this incantation, we recommend leaving a milkshake outside on your lawn.  We’ve heard this method is known for bringing all the boys to your yard.

 

Are UC Applications due December 1?

Irrelevant because Georgetown’s application is due January 10th and that’s all you need to know.

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Photos/Gifs: iboommarketing.com

Jenna Clifford

Jenna Clifford

Jenna, loyal to the blog since '15, is 4E's newest deputy editor. A Junior from Maine, she is a self-proclaimed “happiness” major as she believes we spend too much time putting people in boxes. You can likely find her on Healey Lawn, a rooftop, or riding around the city on her purple bike.
Jenna Clifford

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