The Seven Standard Snapchats

Snapchat-logo-e1406582518655If you aren’t a fan of Snapchat, reevaluate your life decisions. No other means of communication can get the job done. What job, you may ask? It’s whatever you want it to be. There are hundreds of awesome ways to share your life with other people on Snapchat (should I get paid for saying this?).

Since we at 4E are connoisseurs of all things “snap” (except for SNAPS – we don’t like them), we compiled a list of seven typical Snapchats you might get:

Team Snapchat Snaps

gecko sigh

These are literally the worst. First off, it’s so frustrating when you get a notification thinking someone real snapped you and then you realize you have no friends. Second, they are actually quite weird. Most of the time, its Team Snapchat wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa all in one message. To the .0000001% of people that celebrate all three of those, cheers to you. And finally, they always seem to come at the worst timing, like when you’re waiting for someone to snap you back…

Reply Snaps

The dreaded reply snaps. These remind me of those, “IF YOU READ THIS AND DON’T SEND IT TO 10 FRIENDS A LOVED ONE WILL DIE AT MIDNIGHT TOMORROW” things that used to go around on Facebook back in middle school. If you don’t send a reply back to the person doing what they asked you to do, you will be forever shamed. I’ve been trapped into reply nose-picks, reply chugs and reply trust falls.

Bestie Snaps

Nobody besides your best friends can send you ridiculous Snapchats at any time of day. They may be pointless, even foolish (think embarrassing enough to be screen-shotted and used as blackmail), but they sure are entertaining. They always make you laugh and are often inside jokes.

Toilet Snaps

He's Starting Early
He’s Starting Young

There are many appropriate times to send a Snapchat, while on the toilet is not ever usually one of them. I get it, you also poop. It’s funny, because if someone were to open the door accidentally while you were own the throne, you would absolutely flip a s*** because the bathroom is a sacred place. Yet, you’re more than willing to send a snap to a friend of yourself on the toilet? These snaps will never make sense.

Food Porn Snaps

While these are usually in the form of a Snapstory, they are so unnecessary. We all eat, too. I don’t care how many pieces of pumpkin spiced French toast you ate at Farmers Fishers Bakers (queue basic biddies google searching to see if this is a real thing), there is no need for you to remind me how bad Leo’s is by sending me a picture of your food. I’m just a poor, hungry college student trying to survive on ramen and all of the extra food I take when I use a meal swipe at Einstein’s.

Drunken Snaps

You get a snap during the wee hours of the morning from that friend that you’d rather not admit is one of your best friends on Snapchat. Nevertheless, you’re lying in your bed on a lazy Sunday morning afternoon and decide to open it up. It’s a video of them not realizing they were taking a video because they thought they were trying to take a picture. You decide to shoot them a text: “Hey, you good? I’m so hung-over that Leo’s doesn’t sound half bad.”

Play-by-Play Snaps

blackout scheduled schumer

It must be a big deal when (insert name) goes out on the weekends because they send you a snaps updating you on their location, activity and amount of drinks consumed eleven times before you can say “GERMS”. Just remember, Snapchat, like everything else, should only be used in moderation.

Happy Snapping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

Mike Radice

Mike Radice

Mike is 4E's Senior Editor. Hailing from the misunderstood state that gave you Chris Christie and trashy TV's finest stars, Mike is a senior in the SFS. He enjoys winning poke wars, pretending to know how to get places in the ICC and complaining about SaxaNet.
Mike Radice

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