All upperclassmen can attest to the fact that having your own bathroom is quite a luxury. To all you freshmen: your day will come, I promise. And to all you horribly unlucky sophomores that landed a spot in the Southwest quad: A. Yikes. B. Your life sucks. C. You’ll get there eventually.
So, back to the more important (and obviously superior) students. Bidding adieu to communal bathrooms is a task that merits celebration. You no longer have to use the bathroom at the same time as your neighbor… Pee buddies, yay! You no longer have to worry about entering the bathroom on Sunday morning looking like a zombie drag queen. It was a late night and it’s a much too early morning, alright? Back off. You no longer have to worry about walking down the hallway in nothing more than a towel to take a lukewarm shower. Please, please, please let no one see me right now. Lastly, and debatably most importantly, you no longer have to worry about intruders as the contents of your alcohol-filled stomach gracelessly launch into the toilet. It must be the flu…
You finally get some privacy to do what ya gotta do when ya gotta do it. And since you’re living with your best friends (hopefully), they can’t judge you. Even if they do, they can’t back out now, so HA. Hooray for your own bathrooms!
Eh, not so quick. Remember how communal bathrooms came with toilet paper, paper towels (if you were lucky) and hand soap? Well, private bathrooms don’t. You have to buy all that yourself. It sounds pretty simple, I mean, how expensive can toilet paper be? Well, as it turns out, pretty damn expensive. Especially if you spoil yourself and go for the two-ply Charmin, which isn’t even a real if, it’s a must. You and your roommates all pitch in, but even so, these small items add up to a hefty bill in the long run. How are we supposed to pay for our Burnett’s if we have to buy our own hand soap?! UGH. Next time parents’ weekend rolls around, make sure to pencil Target into the itinerary.
As horrible as communal bathrooms are, they possess one advantage that becomes very clear to you once you have your own bathroom:
Communal bathrooms are cleaned by Georgetown staff.
Private bathrooms are cleaned by you and your roommates.
At the beginning of the semester, you and your roommates buy Clorox wipes, shower cleaner and trash bags in bulk, promising that you will all alternate to keep the bathroom spotless. That lasts for about a week. The dust accumulates on every surface by the second. The mirror seems to be covered in who-knows-what all of the time. The nasty shower grime grows by the day. The trash is seemingly always overflowing. It’s a downright ugly sight. And yet, all of you are much too lazy to do any sort of major cleaning. Just close the doors and pretend it’s not there…
WIth all that being said, it’s best to focus on the benefits of having your own bathroom. I mean, if you have your own bathroom, you have at the very least your own suite with your friends, right? Because in the end, it doesn’t matter if you have a Martha Stewart bathroom as long as you have your friends. Now can somebody please take out the trash?
Photos/Gifs: Giphy; WiffleGif; bloody-disgusting.com