An Ode to Finals Season

As the long-awaited Dec. 20 draws near, we here at 4E have prepared an ode to undoubtedly the merriest time of the year: FINALS SZN. Whether you’re reading this post in the sanctity of your own dearly missed home, at your ~unique~ vacation spot in Mexico or on the Hilltop waiting for your unfortunately-scheduled math final, we can relate to what you’re feeling:

So, without further ado, let’s all take a moment to reflect on Georgetown’s beloved stress culture, appreciate the ~high-quality~ Whisk coffee that has fueled us thus far and give ourselves a pat on the back for succeeding  doing relatively well surviving this semester!

After endless midterms, weeks of studying all night,

there’s a brief respite, then finals are in sight.

It seems like it’s always time to buckle down

but that’s just part of being at Georgetown

The struggle is real as you prep for Bib Lit —

but what can you expect from the Jesuits?

You’ve got 99 problems, the first is Of God,

and in time you’re exposed as a Catholic fraud.

In your first exam, those wretched blue books appear

and before too long, they’re stained with your tears.

You fight through hand cramps for two hours straight,

and from nine to eleven, your heart palpitates.

Lau 2 is love, Lau 2 is life —

just kidding, that place is a hellhole of strife.

You wonder, will these troubles ever be over?

It’s been awhile since you’ve been this sober.

You’ve studied forever, it seems like a time warp,

and while waiting at MUG, you curse the capitalist Corp.

Later that day, you procrastinate more:

It was feeling too lonely up on Lau 4.

You’re buried in books on a Saturday night —

to friends at state schools, it’s a pitiful sight.

It’s only midnight, but the future looks bleak.

You remind yourself, though, that sleep’s for the weak.

But when you finally get into the swing of things,

to no one’s surprise, Lau’s fire alarm rings.

So you make your way over to good ol’ Leavey —

should four flights of stairs really make you this wheezy?

Texts from your friends say they’re already on break,

but at least they’ll be free to attend your wake.

You’re struggling to find the will to survive,

indeed, you fall short of the expectation to thrive.

“How to learn French in a day,” you search online.

You’d forgotten “Bonjour”— probably not a good sign

After handing in your final subpar paper,

it looks like life’s finally turned in your favor.

Though GPA-wise, there may be reason to fear,

that’ll be a problem you save for next year.

The holidays will provide plenty of reason

for you to repress this finals season.

Walking past Healy, you take a pic and proceed,

“until next semester!” your Snapchat story reads.

Suitcase in hand, you feel an upswing in mood

at the thought of three weeks without Leo’s food.

You search for your Uber outside the front gates —

What’s taking so long? New Jersey awaits!

~Happy Hoyadays~ from all of us at 4E!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

Winter Break Grill Session

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Winter break may be the closest the college body comes to hibernation. We build caves out of our comforters to watch Netflix, forbidding all other humans to enter this sanctuary except for parents returning freshly folded laundry. For three consecutive weeks, we leave the home only to go see Star Wars VII yet again, and live like Wookies with our unshaven legs.

And yet, break is also a time full of awkwardness, where you are debating whether to drink in front of grandparents on Christmas, and those uncomfortable moments when your parents walk in on a naked scene when you’re watching a rerun of Game of Thrones (even though you explain that the brothel scenes usually contain important political plot points).

And then the family and adults in our lives begin to ~grill~ us on the questions that we would rather avoid, making the itch to go back to campus burn even more. We’re all familiar with some version of the annual Winter Break Grill Session, as our relatives compare us to our peers, remind us of the real world outside of college and finally bring up some of the more questionable transactions on our debit cards. Thank goodness we’re finally back at school so we don’t have to answer these awkward questions anymore.

 

Parents: How were your grades this semester?

Well, they developed from B’s to C’s.

 

Parents: Do you have a secret boyfriend/girlfriend you’re not telling us about?

Yesterday I found a chocolate chip in my pocket and ate it. Does that answer your question.

 

Parents: [girl you hate from high school] got into law/med school!

Good for her, and thoughts and prayers to all who have to work with her.

 

Parents: Did you hook up the Saxby’s app to Dad’s credit card?

… But you get $2 off for every $20 you spend.

 

Parents: Have you figured out a plan for after graduation?

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No, but I know what I’m wearing to Senior Ball.

 

Parents: I saw that photo of you at [formal name] on Facebook. How did you wear a bra with that dress?

I didn’t.

 

Parents: Do you honestly think we’ll let you go on spring break [insert place name]?

There are far more dangerous places in the world with less all-inclusive packages than this.

 

Parents: Have you finally gotten lunch with [awkward family friend you don’t want to hang out with]?

Yah … I’ll take a rain check on that one.

 

Parents: Have you ever been GERMsed?

Not that I remember.

 

Parents: What is this “DFMO” I hear you and your friends referencing?

It’s just an MSB major… Da Finance Management Operations.

 

Parents: Wait, you’re still single?

Gee, Gerald and Karen, where do you think I inherited my inability to love?

 

Parent: Do you honestly think we’ll pay for your phone bill after you graduate?

~Yes~

 

Don’t worry, Hoyas. The doldrums of spring semester will soon hit us, and we shall overcome our latest grill session.

 

Image Sources: giphy.com, grovesacademy.org

Winter Break Life Lessons: the 8 Things You Discover

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Winter break is an interesting time. In the middle of the school year, it’s a weird lapse between the fall and spring semesters, just a few weeks full of extravagant (or monotonous) family holidays, trips to visit relatives and indulgence.

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What other time during the year do we have such an opportune chance to reflect on ourselves, our lives, and the relatively-(but-only-for-a-short-while)-distant bubble that is Georgetown? The answer is not summer break because the expanse of time is too long, too lacking of holiday festivity, and too routine. Here are the gems that winter break affords us, mainly:

  1. The Joy of Snacking. You never quite remember just how valuable a stocked fridge and cupboard full of cereal and Cheez-Its is to your wellbeing until you’re home in your childhood bed with nothing on your agenda except a trip to the kitchen.giphy
  2. Netflix. In particular: F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You can watch a whole season in one day. Can you watch the whole series in one break? While we make no speculation as to whether or not this timeless spectacle can grow old, we will admit that break teaches us that those episodes that are full of flashbacks are cop-outs. Since we saw that scene yesterday, it’s not worth reflecting on when Ross could have a new date or Phoebe could be making some weird family-related discovery. 
  3. The Time-Capsule Phenomena. Nothing. Ever. Changes. Can you believe that your town looks the same, your dog sits in the same spot on the rug and your mom has the same routine of game-show watching after dinner each night? While you’ve been busy conquering Brown House and concocting new Leo’s dinner creations the world has continued to spin and life has continued to go on as you know it outside of the front gates. 
  4. Reading for Pleasure. This one goes well with the unfathomable idea that you have this strange amount of time where you don’t remember the date, you have almost forgotten what it is like to live out of a planner and the alarm clark has been untouched. Reading for pleasure: dictated by your own curiosity and not listed on a class syllabus, who knew?
  5. How Great It Is to Do Nothing When It Is Only Temporary.giphy-1
  6. How Unreal (Actually) College Is. Think about it, your friends are your next door neighbors if they’re not your roommates or a short walk across campus to Henle away. Yet over break they’ve reverted to their second lives all over the world, in different time zones.
  7. How Much You Missed and Didn’t Miss Your High School Job. Day 1: *Wow this is so great. I remember that customer, so nice. I’ve missed this.* […] Day 3: *If only everyone could look away while I subtly rested my head on this cash register for the next hour…
  8. The Value of Your Dog. Okay, so this one you never quite forget, but man is it great to have a furry friend to greet you: it’s something that makes leaving the house difficult. Something to pet, and something to talk like a baby too: good times. Jack-My-Happy-Dog

 

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, cutestpaw.com, theodysseyonline.com

 

Winter Break, as Told by Kristen Wiig

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Winter break is a sacred time for college students, when they will experience a variety of different events and encounters. Some of these things we will try to avoid at all costs, while some we have been waiting to happen all year long.

For guidance on the events that winter break entail, we decided to look to one of 4E’s favorites: the wonderful comedian Kristen Wiig. Let her guide you through your break itinerary:

When you see that person in your high school graduating class that you haven’t talked to since graduation.

When you accidentally get a little tipsy at the family Christmas dinner.

When you and your cousins fight over who is the favorite grandchild.

Note: the answer is obviously you.

When your friends back home grill you about any girls/guys.

Christmas Eve.

AKA best holiday EVER

When you go overboard on Christmas cookies, fudge, or pie.

Oops….

When your parents ask you to help out in the kitchen.

New Year’s Eve.

And the next morning…

As you can tell, winter break is full of events, mishaps and interesting encounters. Be sure to handle all of these adventures with the grace and flair that the great Kristen Wiig possesses.

Photos/Gifs: http://www.lifed.com/bucket-list-225-things-to-do-before-you-die/7; GIPHY.com

A Lonely Hoya on the Hilltop

All AloneWhen you arrive on campus four days before classes start, you’re greeted by something that looks a little like this:

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You know it’s bad when you can walk from Epi to Village A and not see a single soul cross your path. Except that squirrel digging in the dirt. Hey, squirrel! Wanna hang out?

As lonely as it is without all of you here on campus, having the Hilltop to yourself does have a few advantages:

1. There’s no problem finding open tables on Lau 2! But wait, I have no homework to get done.

2. No homework! No classes! No rules! But no one to go out with.

3. I can pass the time with hours of Netflix! But I was already doing that for the last 3 weeks.

4. I can build a snowman out of the snow that’s already melted.

5. I can appreciate the architectural beauty of Lau.

6. I can write a blog post.

7. I just wrote this blog post.

8. I can… I can…

I guess there are only so many things a girl can do when she’s got a whole campus to herself. And I’m pretty sure the pipes in my apartment have never made so much noise as they did last night. It just goes to show how much Georgetown is really made by the students who are here. Georgetown is an impressive place with big, beautiful buildings, but it’s just not the same without the people who make it tick.

So hurry back to campus, Hoyas. John Carroll and I miss you!

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Photos: Georgetown University, Deviant Art GIFS: Marnie Wallach for The Hoya

The Ultimate Holiday Break Netflix Guide

Screen-Shot-2013-01-14-at-9.08.23-PMThank goodness finals are finally over! Now it is time for food, family and my favorite friend, Netflix. The shows, the options, the never ending episode reel … oh the thrills!

Since the dawn of time (well, actually only for the last few years), Netflix has manipulated the time management of college students worldwide. Now that finals are done and over, however, free time is plentiful. That means there’s no excuse for wearing pajamas all day and plunging into some new TV addictions.

For that reason, 4E has complied our list of the top Netflix shows for the season:

1. Orange is the New Black – If you aren’t catching the hype of this show, I’ll send you to prison, just like the series’ main character, Piper Chapman.

2. Scandal – Nothing like a little mischief to spice up the holiday season. Am I right?

3. Breaking Bad – 4E does not condone making or selling illegal substances. However, we do condone watching shows about doing so.

4. Revenge – Mega-millions, double lives and Hamptons betrayals… Sounds like our plan to get back at Florida Gulf Coast University.

5. White Collar – Is art heist really illegal if it’s committed by someone as good-looking as Neal Caffrey?

6. Arrested Development – We happen to be huge fans of Arrested Development at 4E. In fact, we might even open up a banana stand next semester.

7. House of Cards – This is about the city where we go to school. Besides, Kevin Spacey visited us this year and he was awesome.

8. How I Met Your Mother – There are no words to describe this comedy gold. Just watch the show and you’ll thank us later.

Whether you’re rejoicing in the holiday spirit with family, catching up with old friends or sulking because you’re not on the Hilltop, make sure to take our suggestions and spend some quality time with your good pals Net and Flix.