Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: How To Not Seem Like A Freshman

So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.

A visual representation of you as a freshman

Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.

Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:

    1. Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
    2. Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
    3. Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
    4. Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
    5. Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
    6. Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
      Your entire floor does NOT need to eat together
    7. Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
    8. Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.

Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.

Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, facebook.com, nick.com

A Guide To Scamming the Most Out of Free Food This GAAP Weekend

Welcome to Georgetown, new Hoyas! Your friends at 4E are so excited to meet you next year! Before you  arrive, hopefully you’re going to GAAP Weekend so you can celebrate and learn more about us, regular ole Hoyas. If you are, here’s how to scam the most out of free food this GAAP Weekend.

8:30 AM on Friday – Go to St. Mary’s for breakfast. They without a doubt have the best spread. From fresh fruit to small pieces of banana bread, the NHS (School of Nursing and Health Studies for the newbies) has too much food and not enough people to share it with.

1:45 PM on Friday – For those who want to be extra ~cultured~ be sure to hit up the SFS for some Qdoba. However, if you’re not about that, then go to the MSB. If you have to venture into ~The Snake Den~ for anything, it might as well be good food from a fancy restaurant.

6:00 PM on Friday – Starving after Convocation and can’t wait the 30 minutes it will probably take to walk to Tombs and get food? Walk for 1 minute instead from Healy to the ICC for the Multicultural Reception! It might will definitely be the best food you’ve had all day!

9:00 AM on Saturday – You could go to Leo’s for breakfast, and it will probably  definitely be the best Leo’s you’ll have in your Georgetown career, or you could knock on an unsuspecting upperclassmen’s Vil A door and beg food from them. No doubt they’ll take pity on you and attempt to give you something better (choose the door wisely).

12:00 PM on Saturday – Want free food AND clothing? Come to Red Square so that clubs can inevitably try to bribe you to join once you get here! The free swag and food ranging from Hershey’s Kisses to slices of pizza will be worth it. I promise.

Your friends at 4E sincerely hope that this list has helped you to scam the most food out of your GAAP Weekend and make it one you’ll never forget!

Gifs: giphy.com

Meet the New 4E Bloggers

new bloggers

This past weekend, 4E hired eight new, fantastic bloggers! We interviewed a bunch of capable and hilarious bloggers, but these were the eight who caught our eye. We’ve met them, now it is time for you to meet them too:

Katrina Vassell (MSB ’17)

When You Know You Are A Hoya:
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1. When the acronym of your organization is harder to pronounce than the actual name. I’m looking at YOU GUASFCU… or GUAFSCUE… or GUSEFSCU, whatever it is.

2. When you’re unqualified to join the investment fund, but get an internship at Goldman Sachs.

3. When your social life is dictated by your extracurricular activities and your largest, most prestigious fraternity is a coffee shop.

Caroline Platek (COL ’17)

When Playing “The Final Countdown” Would Make Sense:

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1. When Midnight Mug is about to close and you’ll be at LAU for an allnighter, and realize with 2 minutes to spare that you’ll never stay awake without a Midnight Mug treat. And in that moment, you realize there’s no time for organizing your books or packing up shop. So you must trust a fellow cubicle user to “watch my stuff” and then you race down those LAU steps like that MUG snack is the last snack you’ll ever consume. You make it in time, you get your treat, you pull the all-nighter and you have successfully completed the assignment that you started the night before. Hooray.

2. You are thinking of spending the night “with Netflix” and your friends decide to hit the town. You wish them a good time and wrap up in your snuggie like you’re the star of that classic infomercial. Your friends go to that place you all enjoy, and they text you when they arrive because they see the love of your life in the venue. They are about to go to another location and tell you that you should come to the current one within 15 minutes or else they are leaving. You can’t give up on love — this might be your soul mate. So you get ready, you spray the fragrance that tells the world “It’s showtime” and you meet your friends in the nick of time. You’ve landed your crush, you’ve had a good night and you’ve proven that the best nights are those that were not planned.

Lauren Salamon (COL ’19)

The People You’ll Meet Walking on Your First Day:

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1. The Supportive Upperclassman: This person is the best. They probably see you looking dangerously confused in the ICC. “Umm… do you know how to get to 107?” you ask. This friendly stranger will show you the way.

2. The Fellow Freshman: You notice this person a few feet away, also staring at their schedule in a perplexed manner. “Are you a freshman, too?” you ask. Of course they are. You are of little help to one another.

3. The Inanimate Object: If it gets to the point where you are already three minutes late to class, you may curse vengefully at a stagnant elevator or whisper a profanity at another staircase. It’s really their fault, anyway.

Benjamin Balough (COL ’17)

When Blacking Out Would Actually Be Helpful:

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1. Morning after call to the ‘rents telling them you’ve been GERMSed again. #lookatyourlife

2. Falling on your ass in front of your crush at Brown House with a BAC of 0.00%.

3. That one time in Yates where your hottie-spotting to treadmill-walking ratio went from 0 to 100 and you just stood there gaping at the booty for a solid 15 minutes.

Annie Fraser (NHS ’19)

The Most Underrated Fruits:

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1. Grapefruit. Grapefruit is the best citrus out there, and the reason that people don’t agree with me on this is not because I’m “incorrect” or “care too much about grapefruit,” it’s because they’ve never encountered a spoon with serrated edges, “a grapefruit spoon” that allows you to enjoy your delicious grapefruit without all the juice going everywhere. And grapefruit is not too sour, it’s perfectly tangy and delicious. People who don’t like the taste of grapefruit are either: a. children who can’t handle the real world or b. eating under ripe grapefruit.

2. Not Pomegranate. Before you say it, yes, I know, pomegranate does taste good, and pomegranate juice is pretty great. But this isn’t a list of best fruits, and pomegranate is undoubtedly the most overrated fruit. Every time someone actually buys a whole pomegranate, everyone loses their collective mind, but when it comes to actually eat the thing, it’s such a let down. Too many gross tiny seeds, not enough juice and overall just a lot of work. 4/10 overall.

3. Blackberries. Blackberries are great. Shoutout to blackberries.

Athena Yang (NHS ’17)

Best Excuses Not to Take Stairs:

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1. I just ate. This is probably true 87.8% of the time.

2. It was leg day yesterday. This makes me seem like I’m in shape, but in reality, if I took the stairs it would be my leg day today.

3. I’m don’t want to get sweaty because I’m going on a date. Even though it is even less likely for me to be going on a date than walk up the stairs, normal people will never question the logic because they go on dates and know the importance of looking good. I also rather admit that I may sweat after walking up stairs than actually taking the stairs.

Mike Radice (SFS ’18)

The Workers on Campus You Need to Hear About:

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1. Leo’s Card Swipper. This guy sure does have a way with Georgetown students (read: ladies). If you’re a female, he might even grace you with a hearty hello! His everlasting smile and friendly demeanor make him a staple in the fine dining establishment that is O’Donovan’s Waterfront Dining.

2. Einstein’s Sweetheart. You haven’t experienced a true “woman for others” until you’ve met this woman, who runs the show at the Einstein’s in Regents. She prays for you, and will tell you about how she cares for you before you’ve met her. This woman is literally the nicest being on campus. Just try not to smile when you’re near her.

3. Einstein Celebrity. Did you know we have a celebrity of our very own on campus? Bagel artist at the Car Barn Einstein’s by day, beat dropper by night, this lady lives a double life as one of DC’s most respected female rappers. Quiet behind the counter, this diva drops some sick lines in her freestyle raps found here. Check her out!

 

 

Jacky Pi (SFS ’19)

The Best Places to Poop on Campus:

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These places were found based on the merit of cleanliness, privacy, and overall proximity/accessibility on campus.

1. Healey Family Student Center. Private Family Bathroom. Located right before the public women/men bathrooms. Near the Bulldog Tavern. This single stall, clean bathroom is in one of Georgetown’s most popular study spots. You can do your work and your “business” in silence.

2. Davis Performing Arts Center. Located on the lower floor. This place is empty during the day, just don’t go during a show night.

3. Regents. First floor, past the doors. Most science majors are too sleep deprived to even notice the smell.

Look out for their new blog posts coming soon! Welcome to the fam, guys.

Photos: Facebook.com #stalking

A New Year of Blogging Begins

Classes started yesterday. Welcome Week festivities are in full swing. And, even though its never NSOver, it’s also unfortunately no longer socially acceptable to walk around wearing name tags. Even though its only syllabus week, the spectre of real work looms right around the corner. You’re probably feeling like this right about now.

Still, for this blogger, it feels good to be back. I love seeing those random people that you always walk past and yet never talk to or find out their name. I love late night chats with random people in Lau. I love how excited we all get about finding freshmen to join our clubs. (Speaking of which, stop by The Hoya‘s table at the Student Activities Fair and join our happy blog team.)

Though all of those things won’t changes, there are some changes that accompany every new school year. Leo’s inevitable changes everything, thoroughly confusing all returning students for a couple weeks (and also replacing make-your-own pizza with a bamboo vegetable steamer.) Regents Hall officially opened, replacing what had been a black hole of construction with a new gleaming beacon of our commitment to learning and inquiry (except that it’s way prettier than Lau during the snowpocalypse.) We also have a nifty new e-mail system and no more required party registration.

And so, after an August hiatus, us here at 4E are back and better than ever for our first full school year in operation. Keep reading for more behind-the-scenes posts, photo galleries, videos and commentary for all of the goings on here at Georgetown.

Photo Credit: Leonel De Velez/The Hoya

Hello and Welcome!

Introducing the newest member of The Hoya family – welcome to The Fourth Edition! As a companion to our Tuesday/Friday issues and The Guide, The Fourth Edition will be publishing daily with everything from news stories and campus trends to an insider look at some of Georgetown’s most elusive student organizations. We’ll also be pounding the pavement (read: searching the internet) to find the best festivals, food trucks and nightlife that DC has to offer. Basically, we’re your go-to for all things fantastic.

And with whom are you about to trust all of this? Hi! I’m Michelle, your fearless leader! I’m a big fan of science, cheese and animals of all shapes and sizes. I’m beyond excited to put this blog before you now. It’s the product of lots of hard work done by some very smart people, without whom The Fourth Edition would have been a big mess (not unlike our distant cousins over at The Third Edition). Many thanks to everyone who has helped out in the creation of this blog, it wouldn’t exist without you.

Way back in our very first issue back in 1920, then-editor-in-chief Joseph Mickler made this remark:

“Blushing as coyly as any schoolgirl, and with the excited fears and hopes of a debutante or a Mexican insurrection before a firing squad, we lay this first edition of The Hoya at the feet of the student body, and retreat to a safe distance to observe the effects”

That about sums up how I’m feeling as I click “publish” on this first post. So here it is, the first edition of The Fourth Edition. We’re here to serve you, Georgetown, so we want to hear from you whether that be in the comments, via email, Twitter or a visit to our office in Leavey 421. We would especially appreciate the last one.

-Michelle Cassidy