Dating App Profile Picture Guide

Did Valentine’s Day remind you of your single status? Did it spur you to re-download Tinder? Or prompt you to give Bumble a try? If so, then the members of 4E feel your heart-throbbing pain and we’ve created a Dating App Profile Picture Guide that will have all the cuties swiping right into your heart.

1. No mirror selfies.


You have friends. Find them. Have them take your picture because to be honest that mirror flash is hurting everyone’s eyes.

2. Do not submit to the subdivision of mirror selfie: The Muscle Flash.


Why is you shirt off? Why is your shirt half on? Are you getting dressed? Looks like we are all confused. Let’s at least have a conversation before you start taking off your clothes.

3. Have a picture with friends.


It can be a picture with one friend, a group of friends, paid or bribed friends. It can even be a full on awkward group photoshoot on a couch in front of a fountain. Just let the world know that you are not a psycho.

4. Have at least one picture of just you.


Don’t hide yourself in a sea of friends. Believe it or not, people actually want to be able to identify who they are swiping right on.

5. Smile.


I know! Shocker! But seriously, a genuine smile is way more #fresh and #cool than a deep soul searching scowl.

6. Express your interest.


Do you like to ride bikes? Go hiking? Play basketball? See daylight? Express that! Change it up with some active pictures to let people know you do occasionally leave your house.

7.  Avoid old exes in pictures.


Is that your sister? Your ex? Over-touchy cousin? It’s best to just not confuse all of us.

8. Have more than one picture.


You should probably have more than one picture of yourself. Unless, you believe in soul-theft through photography, in which case you should probably avoid technology altogether.

9. Include a dog.


You can never go wrong with a cute dog cuddle pic. In fact, the more dogs the better.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

He’s Just Not That Into You: Hoya Edition

Banner - HeartbreakSix short years ago, a less-than-mediocre romantic comedy appeared on the big screen and broke our hearts. Ken Kwapis’ “He’s Just Not That Into You” revealed a sad truth to a slew of  hopeless romantics. That special someone isn’t shy; he’s just not that into you. To help you avoid heartbreak this Valentines Day, 4E is pointing out the five tell-tale signs that your fellow Hoya is just not that into you:

  1. He’s more concerned with getting his Vineyard Vines shirt in the picture than your face.

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2. He tells you he’s spending his Saturday night in Lau.

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3. He tells you the rooftop of Village A is only you two’s “special spot.”

ridiculous

4. He only buys you Natural Light, since you’re not worth the $9.99 Burnett’s splurge.

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5. He values his position in The Corp more than your feelings.

stan

If any or all of these apply to you, there’s still time. Get out there and find a boo who appreciates you.

Photos/Gifs: photobucket.com, imgfave.com, tumbnation.com, wattpad.com, weheartit.com, ilongevitiy.com

Happy Guyentine’s Day (Starring Ron Swanson)

Banner - GuyentinesPretty much everyone’s heard of Galentine’s Day. It’s when women get together on or before Valentine’s Day to talk, eat and celebrate some of the most important relationships in their lives: friendships.

Digg friday the 13th galentines day

But nobody talks much about single men spending V-Day together ~until now~! Guyentine’s Day, celebrated on February 14, is devoted to exactly that; so if you’re a single guy and this is how you’re feeling about Valentine’s Day,

everything one direction ron swanson i hate everythingparks and recreation ron swanson nick offerman tv love

Here are the best ways to have a rockin’ Guyentine’s Day without relinquishing any of your masculinity!

  1. Food. Forgo the romantic restaurant and grab some grub with your closest guy friends.  Beef jerky is a must.
  1. Fishing. Because what’s better than meeting your match? Eating your catch! This is a great escape from the routines of your daily life, and Guyentine’s Day is the perfect time to treat yourself to some new gear and try out ice fishing. Hunting is an acceptable alternative.

  1. Fighting. A friendly brawl is a great way to bond with bros. In a bar, in a ring, in a crowded sports stadium: any public setting will do!

  1. Friendship. When it comes down to it, Guyentine’s Day, Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day are all about one thing: being with the people you care about. So, regardless of what you end up doing to celebrate Guyentine’s Day, be sure to make some time for your closest guy friends and let them know you love ’em.

I hope that your February 14th will feel a little less like this:

angry parks and recreation balloon upset ron swansonand a little more like this:

dancing drunk ron swansonHappy Guyentine’s Day, everybody!!

Photos: Gifs: giphy.com, pinterest.com, hellogiggles.com, washingtonpost.com, bestwallpaperhd.com

Quiz: How Romantic Are You? The Georgetown Edition

Banner - RomanticLove is like a shower in Darnall: it’s not always as hot or consistent as you would like, but it has its warm patches that make it worthwhile.

Whether you’re someone’s BAE, BAE-less, or on avid BAE-watch, we all need a little love on the Hilltop. In honor of V-day, find out how romantic you are by taking this objective quiz.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/keatono10/georgetown-edition-how-romantic-are-you”]

Photo: playbuzz.com

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Ex

Love On The Hilltop

Banner - Dating SitesAs Valentine’s Day is approaching, every Georgetown student without a significant other is focusing more on their academic and professional lives and less on their love lives. Hoyas seem to think that, by this time in the school year, if you haven’t connected with your crush, then you never will.

Also Saturday night, Sunday night, Monday night… You get it.

We at 4E know that that is absolutely wrong! Especially as this ~Day of Love~ is approaching, no Hoya should ever be alone.

Get some inspiration from the websites below to connect with Hoyas just like you so you can rest easy knowing who you’ve found bae just in time for the most love-filled holiday of the year:

1. Jesuit Flames: This Valentine’s season, the Passion isn’t just for Christ. Before you set fire to the world, set fire to your love life and connect with another Jesuit-value-embodier today!

2. Ex-Pat Passions: You left your home country for a reason! Drop those Internation-NOs and find your Ameri-CAN today.

3. Vegan Bar Baes: Tired of Hoyas who only want Vegan banana bread, and not you? Look no further! Discover love without the mess of animal products!vegan4. Lau 5 Lovers: Are you finding trouble meeting Hoyas because you’re too committed to your studies? Never again wonder if YOU could be that guy or girl getting it on in the stacks. Find your study soulmate today!

Who says Lau isn't romantic?
Who says Lau isn’t romantic?

5. Burnett’s Meets Epicurean: Don’t have time in your day for a Coffee Meets Bagel date?Meet your crush when it’s most convenient: when you’re looking for some love, but mostly just looking for drunk eats. Never go home alone (or hungry) again!

6. Yates n’ Dates: Need a real cardiovascular workout? Try this site, which pairs you with the people you’ve spent the most time staring at through the mirrors around Yates!

staring mirror
Disclaimer: You may match with yourself if you’re one of those people…

Good luck finding ~your~ loved one!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, goplengo.xyz

A Guide to Crushing Valentine’s Day

college-advice

It seems as though 4E is starting to get somewhat of a reputation as being a highly regarded dating guru. After addressing the issue of what a DFMO entails, emails began pouring in from lovestruck Hoyas across campus begging for some words of wisdom.

We recently received an email from yet another freshman in need of some help with his dating debacle. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, we decided to lend him a helping hand and offer him a logical solution to his problem.

Hey 4E,

I saw your article a few weeks ago where you gave some pretty great dating advice, so I figured I’d give it a shot and ask for your opinion. There’s a girl who lives on my floor in New South, I’ll call her Sarah, and she’s pretty chill. She was in my ethics discussion last semester, but I was way too nervous to talk to her. Instead I just pretended to ignore her anytime she said hi to me in passing because I definitely didn’t want her to think I was too into her. I mean it’s all in the subtlety, right?

Anyway, I decided over winter break that I needed to make my move with Sarah this semester. The other day I ran into her in the hall on my way to the showers. Even though I was wearing a towel and carrying a shower caddy, I knew this was my time to shine. As I passed her I just blurted out “Hey Sarah, we should do something Saturday night.” She seemed kind of surprised, but it was casual because she agreed to hangout.  

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m really psyched Sarah wants to hangout this Saturday, but apparently that’s also Valentine’s Day. I’m not really into celebrating that holiday and I definitely have no clue what she’s expecting. My question for you, 4E, is how can I crush the Valentine’s Day game and really impress Sarah?

— Helpless in New South

Dear Helpless in New South,

Let me preface my advice with a question: what’s one thing all freshmen have in common? An eternal love for meal plans, of course! That’s why you should definitely make the most of yours by planning a special Valentine’s Day date at O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront. I mean nothing says romance quite like the sound of a dinging bell while someone screams “COME GET YOUR OMELETTE”, right? Right. Plus Sarah will be completely impressed with your ingenuity and regard for creative date ideas.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking, what could possibly be so great about Leo’s on Valentine’s Day? Well, a lot. Especially if you’re willing to put in the extra effort to make it a truly memorable dining experience. Just follow these simple guidelines and you’re sure to have the best Valentine’s Day ever!

When you get to Leo’s you may be tempted to offer to swipe Sarah in. DON’T DO IT. Seriously, it’s a huge trap. Today’s dating conventions are all about empowering everyone because #YesAllWomen (and more importantly, #YesAllMealPlans…gotta use those swipes somehow). After you swipe yourself in just start walking into Leo’s, she’ll get the idea and really appreciate how much you value her independence.

Next, find an extremely large table upstairs and commandeer it for your date. Pull a  tablecloth and some candles out of your backpack to help create some ambiance. Trust me, it’ll be totally effective. Insist that you each sit on opposite ends of the massive table and speak loudly the entire time to ensure that she can hear you. If she questions this seating arrangement, let her know it’s because it makes it easier to stare into her eyes.

Ask her what she wants to eat and tell her you’ll go get it for her. This will make her think you’re considerate. Completely ignore whatever request she makes and concoct the most disgusting mix of foods you can find. This will make her think you’re spontaneous. Continue to creepily stare at her as you eat as quickly as possible, and when you’re finished get up and leave. You’ll establish a sense of mystery which Sarah will definitely find intriguing, it’ll leave her wanting more. You’ll inevitably leave Leo’s thinking your date went so well that love must be in the air (fair warning: it’s actually Leo’s lingering scent).

Love 4Ever,

4E

Disclaimer: This article also does not express the views of any freshmen. The advice is still valid though.

Photos/Gifs: imgur.com; http://the-toast.net/

Hump Day Chomp: Pho DC

humpdaychomp

If you’re one of the lucky few that are planning a Valentine’s Day Date, look no further than Pho DC in Chinatown.

We stumbled upon this Vietnamese gem last weekend while looking for Rita’s Italian Ice (which, by the way, is CLOSED for the winter – what the what?!?).

After having our ice dreams dashed, we walked up the block looking for something to eat/somewhere to cry when my date stopped short and asked if I had ever had Pho – which is pronounced “f-uh,” not “faux.”

I hadn’t, so we climbed the four steps up to the well-lit and sophisticated restaurant and the rest is history.

g1-01

I ordered Spicy Satay Pho Tai, which is basically a lot of broth mixed with chili paste, thinly sliced beef, cooked onions and thin rice noodles. You get to use chopsticks to scoop the noodles and stuff into this awesome mini-ladle. It was tough, but it got easier as the night progressed. My date had Spicy Pho Shrimp, which actually had a good amount of shrimp. The only annoying thing was that the tails had not yet been removed. Both dishes came with little bowls of basil, bean sprouts and lime that could be added to the soup.

The real winners were the sauces: one spicy orange sauce that tasted like sriracha on steroids, and one sweet brown sauce that was like a thicker, sweeter soy sauce. These were magical when added (in small dollops) to the spoonfuls of noodles.

We also tried Vietnamese Coffee, which is really rich coffee that has condensed milk at the bottom. You can stir the milk until the coffee reaches its optimum level of sweetness and pour it over ice if you wish (we wished, and it was delicious).

This place had it all – great music, wonderful food, fun atmosphere. It was also really easy to get to – just a couple of blocks from the Gallery Place/Chinatown metro stop. Pho DC is pho-sho one of the best places you can have Valentine’s Day dinner (or anti-Valentine’s day dinner) this weekend!

Photo: http://www.phodc.com/index.php

Manly Monday: The Valentine’s Day Bro-Date

manlymondays

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner (Saturday!), so naturally the talk of the town (and Yik Yak) is all about big plans on the 14th.

While couples are all excited to go out on fancy dates, possibly the more vocal crowd are those people without dates. For those bros and manly men out there without a special someone to take out on the town, here are some suggestions for a great bro date on Saturday.

Disney on Ice: Worlds of Fantasy Tour. I was going to suggest a sporting event at the Verizon Center, but apparently this is the one weekend this winter that The Phonebooth won’t play host to the Wizards, Capitals, Hoyas or WWE SmackDown. Go figure. Disney on Ice would still be a lot of fun though.

giphy

NBA All-Star Saturday Night. There might not be any games in town, but Saturday is an exciting night for televised sports. The NBA is holding their All-Star Saturday Night, and it always provides some thrills. Grab your buddies, pick up some wings and kick back watching the best players in the world shoot, dribble and dunk.

Hit the Movies. AMC Loews, down on the Waterfront, has some great movies showing. Nothing wrong with bonding with your bros over a nice Hollywood blockbuster. Plus, you should be able to get great seats in any screening you want, because everyone else will be seeing Fifty Shades of Grey.

Shoot Some Hoops. Yates will probably be pretty empty because everyone else will be on dates, so you and your buddies can have the court to yourself. Play some pick-up, H-O-R-S-E, knockout – you just have to be done by 10:00 pm.

Play Water-Pong. It’s like shooting hoops, but with cups and ping-pong balls. You could even set up a tournament.

Spring Cleaning. If you and all your roommates are staying in, just get a nice cleaning session in. That way, you will be prepared for the nights you do have a date.

Start a Band. You never know where this one could lead. Don’t know how to play any instruments? Now is your time to learn! Some of the world’s greatest bands started in garages – why not a Village A?

Watch I Love You, Man The ultimate bromance film, nothing says “guy time” quite like “I Love You, Man”. If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out. If you have, I’d recommend watching it again. Plus, it may inspire you to follow up on our band suggestion.

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

This post was co-written by fellow manly-man Drew Applebaum.  

 Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com; Tumblr.com