President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

The 5 Types of Parents and Family Members You Met at Parents Weekend

Banner - Parents WeekendIt has been seven weeks since you left home to come to Georgetown. Whether you are returning for another killer year or are a first timer on the Hilltop, it is still hard being away from your family for seven weeks, which is why Parent and Family Weekend is a much welcomed affair. Here are the five types of parents you probably met during the course of the weekend:

1) The One Looking to Get Drunk With Their Kids

For this guy/gal, the opportunity to relive their glory days is too good to pass up. He/she had a great time in college and is looking to recreate the memories, only this time, their children will be present. What could be better (worse)?

2) The One Who Asks Way One Too Many Questions

This is the parent who could have looked up all of the info online, but would rather ask in person ensuring everyone’s annoyance. Before receiving an answer to one question, they are already onto the next. No matter how stupid the question, you better believe they will ask it.

3) The Alum

Yes, their son/daughter might have been living here for at least the past seven weeks, but this parent knows it better because they went here in the 80s. If they are not the one giving the tour to the family, they are definitely the one regaling the family with their “crazy” memories.

4) The One Who is Ready to Move in

This parent loves his or her kid, but might love Georgetown even more. They frequently mention loving the atmosphere and a willingness to give up everything to move here. Whether it’s nostalgia for the college years, simply love for everything that IS Georgetown or just really missing their kid, you’d better make room in your already cramped VCW for a surprise move-in.

5) The Sibling

Sure, they were excited to reunite with their sibling and explore the campus, but they were asked “Are you gonna apply to Georgetown?” a few too many times to enjoy the weekend.

So there you have it. Perhaps you met one, if not all, of these parents or family members this weekend. But what else is there to say besides: we at 4E LOVE our Georgetown parents and families!!!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usnews.com

So You Think You Can Blog? Apply to 4E!

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Have you been considering applying for a position on the WORLD’S GREATEST BLOG?  Well then you’re in luck, because 4E is hiring!

While we know you’re ecstatic over this news, we also know you may have a few reservations. You may find yourself wondering, “How do I know if I have what it takes?”  If this is a fear you may have lingering in back of your mind, keep reading as we will provide you with 4E’s comprehensive guide to why YOU should apply!

  1. Your dad once told you that you were funny: Point blank, dads have the best sense of humor.  Nothing beats their jokes, so their approval definitely means that you have what it takes to capture the entire worldwide web’s attention with your witty remarks.  Side note: thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad!
  2. You’re really great at thinking on your feet: No, if you apply we won’t be throwing a baseball at your face to check your reaction rate.  Trust us, coordination is not necessary. We just want to see that you can come up with new ideas, and that you’re not afraid to share them regardless of how ridiculous they may seem.
  3. You like to take risks: Are you the kind of person who signs out your package before the RHO has even handed it to you?  If so, then you definitely have what it takes!  4E is all about covering news with a quirky, fun twist.  Have an idea?  Run with it.
  4. Grammar errors drive you crazy:  You know how to drop an Oxford comma like it’s hot. As part of The Hoya, we’re looking for applicants who can translate ideas into words without a ton of errors.  If you know the difference between to, too and two, then you may have found your niche.
  5. You’re all about the #debauchery: If you’re looking to join a crazy, dysfunctional family on campus then you can consider your search over. 4E is made up of all kinds of bloggers whose talents range from being the number one avocado enthusiast on campus to low key being a contortionist and acrobat (yeah…it’s chill).  Above all else, we’re a great group looking for some new additions to partake in the fun!

So what do you have to lose?  Get your application out today, and become a part of our team!
Click here to get to our application!

photos/gifs: polyvore.com, giphy.com, buzzfeed.com, imgur.com

So You Need A Column Topic?

Are you not quite sure what you want to write your column about yet? Well, you’re in luck! Here are some great column topics to draw inspiration from! (Spring 2016 columnist applications for The Hoya are now available here, and due by 11:59 p.m. on Jan. 12.)

Some General Tips:

  • Write about a topic you’re familiar with. The best columns are those that focus on something about which the writer has genuine curiosity. Just look at Hoya Historian!
  • Make sure your topic is broad enough to span the entire semester, but not so broad that it can become scattered.
  • Be CREATIVE! There are some columns that cover topics such as identity or politics that are always good subjects to write about, but sometimes the great column ideas develop from seemingly simplistic ideas, like this one in the Guide about sandwiches. Try to think of a unique idea or have a different take on a topic we’ve already published.
  • If you have an idea you’re passionate about, run with it and see where it goes. The sky’s the limit!

For Opinion:

Past themes include identity, advice from seniors, history, medicine and technology, comedy and politics. Other column ideas for this semester could include the upcoming presidential election or looking at President Obama’s last year in office. There are also a ton of ways to analyze topics; the column could review issues from a social, political, historical, statistical, educational or cultural point of view.

For Sports:

Past themes include fantasy football, professional soccer, D.C. area professional sports and men’s college basketball. Sports columnists have the opportunity to delve into deeper analyses of team strategy, unpack the rivalries and controversies within the worlds of both professional and collegiate athletics, make predictions on future trades and match ups and comment on the relationship between sports and popular/social culture.

For Guide:

Past themes include music, art, love and dating, studying abroad and the intersection of food and politics. The wide scope of the Guide, which focuses on lifestyle, art, entertainment, music and food, allows for a lot of creative freedom when coming up with column ideas. Other column ideas that will be considered include a creative writing column that features a continuous short story or other creative writing forms. With the online platform, columns that feature weekly music, photography or multimedia will be considered as well.

*Columns in the Guide should aim to tell stories over philosophizing about or analyzing a topic. Stories can be personal, cultural or historical.

For Business and Tech:

Past themes include global economic issues and statistics. Future theme ideas could focus on new technologies, advertising and marketing, developing countries or financial markets. Columns should not focus solely on MSB-related news.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, imgur.com, gifrific.com  

Tragedy Remembered

“Averting their eyes from her anguish and trying, wishing, not to hear her cries, students treaded past her and through the Leavey Center foyer. At 10:30 a.m. some went in and others went out, caught in a swell of chaos so absolute that it did not seem like chaos at all. She just stood there, her blond hair flapping with every painful shudder, her fright hand stabbing the air with a metallic cell phone. Her anger, for now, she directed at the phone. ‘I can’t get them. I can’t talk to them,’ she cried.”

So began The Hoya’s coverage of the terror attacks that shook the nation on Sept. 11, 2001.

The Sept. 11 attacks were personal for the Georgetown community, claiming the lives of several alumni. Clouds of smoke billowing from the Pentagon were visible from the Village A rooftops.

Fourteen years have passed since that incomprehensible September morning, and our understanding of the attacks and their aftermath has grown in the past decade and a half. Revisiting The Hoya’s coverage of the attacks gives us the unique opportunity to reflect on the Georgetown community’s immediate reaction to the tragedy.

A Call for Interfaith Understanding

Representatives of the Muslim Student Association penned a viewpoint (“In Time of Crisis, Americans Must Act With Tolerance,” A4, Sept. 14, 2001) expressing grief over the terror attacks and urging tolerance in the wake of the tragedy.

“While we share our fellow Americans’ sentiments of grief, loss and despair, we also find ourselves at a difficult crossroads. Like every other American, we are filled with the same fear and vulnerability that this attack has forced upon our nation. Yet we are also faced with false associations of our religion with the perpetrators alleged to have committed these acts,” the representatives wrote.

The piece referenced a number of crimes targeting Muslim Americans in the days following the attacks, including the vandalization of mosques and Muslim-owned businesses, and verbal abuse and threats aimed at Muslim women wearing veils.

Campus Ministry hosted silent candlelight vigil in Copley Crypt for students of all faiths on Sept. 12. Students also gathered that evening at a Muslim prayer service in Copley Formal Lounge and a Catholic mass in Dahlgren Chapel.

A number of religious services brought students and community members of different faiths together in the days after the terror attacks. Then-D.C. mayor Anthony Williams (D) and then-Roman Catholic Cardinal of Washington Theodore Cardinal McCarrick led an interfaith prayer service in Gaston Hall on Sept. 13. The service included speakers from the Baha’i, Hindu-Jain, Islamic, Jewish, Latter-day Saints, Protestant, Roman Catholic and Sikh traditions.

Remembering Our Fallen

The Hoya’s pages were filled with articles about unity, uncertainty and grief in the weeks following the 9/11 attacks, but some stories stood out in their poignancy. Until mid-October 2001, the front page of nearly every issue of The Hoya, published twice-weekly, reported members of the Georgetown community missing or dead.

Georgetown Public Policy Professor Leslie Whittington, 45, was a passenger on American Airlines Flight 77, and was killed when the hijacked plane crashed into the Pentagon after departing from Dulles International Airport. Whittington was en route to Australia, where she planned to spend two months working as a fellow at Australian National University in Canberra. Her husband, Charles Falkenberg, 45, and their two daughters Zoe, 8, and Dana, 3, accompanied her.

Alumna Lisa J. Raines (LAW ’82) was also among the 64 people who died on American Airlines Flight 77. Raines was the first confirmed Georgetown graduate to have been killed in the terror attacks.

In the days and weeks following the attacks, more and more Hoyas were confirmed dead. Thomas Galvin (GSB ’90), Joe Eacobacci (COL ’96), Sara Manley (COL ’92), Jason Sabbag (COL ’97), Patrick Sullivan (GSB ’91), Stephen Cangialosi (CAS ’83), Matthew Leonard (CAS ’84) and Daniel McNeal (GRD ’00) all lost their lives in the World Trade Center.

Georgetown’s Responsibility to Act

Throughout the grief, uncertainty and confusion following the attacks, a message of resilience persisted.

“Georgetown has a special role to play in the world beyond our campus gates. We contribute to the body of knowledge and public discourse as the nation seeks understanding and healing,” University President John J. DeGioia wrote in a viewpoint (“Georgetown Has a Unique Mission in Crisis,” A3, Sept. 14, 2001). “Through this reasoned dialogue and the wisdom of knowing one another and ourselves we can take our first steps in the process of rebuilding.”

The Georgetown University Alumni and Student Federal Credit Union pledged to match students’ donations to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund and donated a total of $15,491 in October 2001. Over 260 students participated in a blood drive in Bulldog Alley.

Former President Bill Clinton (SFS ’68) and former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole announced a scholarship fund for the children and spouses of victims of the Sept. 11 attacks in a Healy Hall speech on Sept. 30, 2001.

Many students participated in preemptive anti-war demonstrations on campus and in D.C., while others said that they would support the use of U.S. military force against those responsible for the attacks.

Classes ended at 11:50 a.m. on Friday, Sept. 14, 2001, and the university devoted the rest of the day to reflection and remembrance.

The Hoya’s Editorial Board called on students to be thoughtful and tolerant as they braved this new state of the world in a Sept. 14 editorial (“A Generation Changed?” A2, Sept. 14, 2001).

“We will be called upon in different ways than were our parents and grandparents, in ways that remain to be defined,” the Editorial Board wrote. “Oftentimes it will not be our government issuing the call. It will be ourselves, calling to each other to raise the standard of tolerance and thoughtfulness. … We also should give our lives, not through death, but through a life lived with vigorous, humane attention to the disagreements of our community and our world.”

 

Photo: File Photo: Charles Nailen/The Hoya

The 10 Reasons Why Everyone Must Attend Kickback

kickback

Those of you who were around last fall should remember that The Corp started an awesome music and art festival, combining Georgetown-based acts and professional headliners. I wasn’t there personally, but I heard it was awesome.

Well, The Corp is bring back this event again THIS SATURDAY Sept. 12. From 12 p.m. until the last act blows you away, all Hoyas can enjoy some awesome music, some insanly creative art and a bunch of fun activities. This year, The Corp has partnered with a few other Georgetown groups to make this event more collaborative and more intrinsic to the Georgetown experience.

After meeting with the people in charge of this awesome event, 4E has determined the top 10 reasons why this is the can’t miss event of the semester:

1. The Food. The Corp has not spared any expenses when it comes to the most important thing in all our lives, food. they are going to have a ton of local food trucks and eateries there to fill your mid-Kickback hunger. It is rumored that among these trucks will be Rito Loco, Swizzlr and Captain Cookie.

giphy2. Zipcar Membership. As part of this year’s Kickback, The Corp is working with Zipcar to provide discounted Zipcar memberships for those Hoyas who attend the festival and feel the need for a membership. But, in reality, who doesn’t need a car? Hello… trips to Costco?!

3. Flash Tats & Water Balloons. To make this event even more exciting, WGTB Georgetown radio will be providing both flash tattoos. I repeat: FLASH TATS. The Corp is providing water balloons, so basically anything could happen. Also, there will be water guns, hola hoops and other random things all provided by Zipcar. I have no idea what we are going to do with all this, but I do know that it will be fantastic.

4. Down Dog Yoga. At around noonish, Down Dog Yoga will be providing a free class on the lawn for anyone in attendance. Who wouldn’t want to start their day with some meditation and tree pose?!

5. Instagram Opportunities. The backdrop of Copley makes the perfect frame for your #nofilter Instagram. If that wasn’t enough, The Hoya (hay) is having some of our professional photographers take photos of people on the front lawn. And everyone knows that professional photos > iPhone photos.

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6. Bringing Tie-Dye Back. Along with the flash tats, WGTB Georgetown radio is also hosting a tie-dye booth at the event! Ugh, how retro and awesome is that?!

7. Sunbathing. What better way to bask and enjoy Copley lawn than accompanied by music?

8. Artsy Art. Georgetown students are super talented. Why not see your friends’ art displayed across the lawn? You can tell them how great they are or maybe even discover your new favorite artist. So many possibilities.

9. The Music (duh). What other chance do you have to watch and jam out to student and professional performances? The answer: you don’t. This is your only chance.

10. FOMO. All your friends are going, so why wouldn’t you? You don’t wanna be that one person who missed out on Kickback, as if!

Kickback tickets are on sale now here and are only $10. 4E can’t wait to see you there.

Photos/Gifs: The Corp; giphy.com; 

The 5 Things You’ll Experience When You Join 4E

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Attention: Funny and cool writers of Georgetown

4E wants you to join the inner circle write for us. Our application can be found here and it’s due September 15. So you should probably get on that if you want your life to be infinitely better.

If my natural wit and cunningness isn’t enough to make you apply, maybe my explanation of what you’ll experience as part of 4E will.

If you join 4E…

1.You will be forced to sing CoCo by O.T. Genasis around 5 million times. Because baking soda. (Note: We have no baking soda.)

2.You will become one of the loudest people in Hoya Court, because that is where we hold our meetings and because we are a loud group of people and tend to rub off on each other.

3.You will become a keeper of some of the most entertaining rumors on the Hilltop. The 4E staff knows all. We knew about Epi before it became a thing. #insiders

giphy4.You will become proficient in gifs. And list making. And writing about Lau. All important skills that may get you a job in the future. (Disclamer: 4E cannot ensure employment.)

5.You will meet and hopefully become friends with some of the funniest and kindest people on the Hilltop. 4E sticks together, who wouldn’t want to be part of that?

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Think you can deal with that? Send in that application. Guac might be involved.

Photos/Gifs: gifsgallery.com; giphy.com

Instagram Another Flawless Pic, Please

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Are you having the best summer ever? Do you want to be able to have bragging rights for the rest of the year? Are you trying to make someone jealous?

Well, everyone knows that the best way to make people jealous is to take amazing photos (especially the Instas). There is something about putting something into a photograph that makes it even better and makes everyone else feel inadequate.

As you might know, it is July. The weather is hot, and the Instas are even hotter. What you might not know is that The Hoya is giving you the opportunity you need to brag all summer long.

“Share Your Summer” is our summer photography contest that runs from July 1 to Sept. 2. Students are allowed to submit 2 photos a week to photo@thehoya.com. Each week, The Hoya compiles all submissions into a photo album and, from those, the best photo is placed on our Instagram account.

At a loss for ideas? Here are some 4E suggestions:

1. Send in a picture of a random person off the street. The people will be all, “OMG, who is that, what is going on?” Best way to get people talking. Plus, who cares about scenery when you have some rando person to admire.

2. Send in a picture of you on your couch. Let’s be honest, many of us are spending ungodly amount of times lounging this summer. Why not share your beautiful view of your TV and snacks with the world?

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3. Send in the same photo over and over again. Hey, after a while we are bound to choose it, right? Maybe after the 10th Capitol Building photo we will finally see your photo’s incredible beauty.

4. Send in a photo of your lunch. What premade meal are we eating at our desks today? Or, maybe you are making bank and go out for food. Nonetheless, we wanna see your #food instas more than a pretty European skyline.

Feat. Office cafeteria
Hashtag: office cafeteria

5. Send in a selfie. Extra points if you are complaining about the heat, the Metro or boredom. Double extra points if it is a Snapchat.

Think you have better photos? Think you are worthy of the fame? Send your photos to photo@thehoya.com as .jpegs with your name, school and year, title, caption and Instagram handle.

Photos/Gifs: scontent.cdninstagram.com/; storyhousepro.com; whatdoyoudodear.com

Apply to be a Summer Columnist

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From reflecting on experiences abroad, to analyzing academic issues, to examining science fiction novels, our summer columnists had a lot to share last year. Here is a sample of what Hoyas were writing about over the summer:

Ready for Rio, Allie Hillsbery
http://www.thehoya.com/from-tourist-to-native-in-rio/
“I’ve reached the point where I’ve stopped speaking English in grocery stores. I realized early on that eating lunch at restaurants every day was not going to work out, so now every other day I stop at the mercado for a small supply of fresh sandwich rolls. However, two times since my arrival, I have flown into a mild panic when other shoppers stopped me to ask questions in rapid-fire, heavily colloquial, to-me-incomprehensible Portuguese.”

An American Hoya in Japan, Celeste Chisholm
http://www.thehoya.com/finding-myself-where-i-couldnt-pretend-i-was-anything-else/
“Lately I notice that people here cannot help but notice me. Admittedly, there is no reason to blame them for their riveted gaze, as I fall far from the natural deviation of the average Japanese citizen, being naturally blonde, obviously American, and above all 5’11”. Out here, there is no escape from the fact that I differ in ways beyond mere physiology. Although at first a jarring sensation, living in an environment which so blatantly indicates my disparity has come to be somewhat liberating.”

Hoya Sapiens, Paul Healy
http://www.thehoya.com/reconsidering-the-humanities-crisis-part-i
“Over the past year, the humanities have come under close scrutiny in our public discourse. Last summer, Harvard release a report that showed a decline in enrollment in humanities majors. In January, President Obama took a shot at art history majors in a speech on education and the job market. All the while, voices in the national media have both questioned the value of the humanities and lamented their decline. First, what do we mean when we talk about the humanities? And what sort of crisis is happening?”

Back to Futures Past, Hannah Kaufman
http://www.thehoya.com/23002511/
“As I was reading ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,’ a weird fictional book, ‘Encyclopedia Galactica,’ kept popping up in my mind. Intrigued, I decided to do a random Google search to see what would turn up. Lo and behold, I discovered that this fictional book actually originated from another fictional sci-fi series that began with the novel ‘Foundation.'”

What do you want to speak up about this summer?

Applications to be an online summer columnist for The Hoya are due Thursday at midnight. Visit http://www.thehoya.com/join-the-hoya to apply!

Photos: italiafutura.it

Staffer of the Week: Daniel Smith

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Once a week, The Hoya recognizes one or two staffers who have done a particularly awesome job — now you can get to know about them, too. Here’s our interview with Staffer of the Week, Danny Smith:

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Hometown: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Year and School: SFS ’17
Major: International Politics
Position on The Hoya: Photo Editor

Why did you earn Staffer of the Week?
I took the photos for the spring fashion issue of The Guide, put in requests for new photo equipment and was recognized “for being a generally competent human being.” That last one is my favorite. It essentially means I do my job.

If you could be a Wisey’s sandwich, which would you be and why?
The predictable answer is Chicken Madness, but what people don’t realize is that I’d be a perennial favorite in the GUSA executive election. I also think there’s a hint of spice in my personality ;) probably due to my Latino heritage.

Why did you decide to join The Hoya, and how has it contributed to your college experience?
I joined my freshman fall because I was pretty into photography and thought it’d be a good way to stay at it. It doesn’t hurt that being a staff photographer for The Hoya means you get to take photos of famous politicians and cover Georgetown basketball. Working for The Hoya has been a defining part of college for me – sometimes I feel like I go to Georgetown University, where I work for The Hoya and take classes on the side. But I’m definitely more than okay with that.

If you could be Jack the Bulldog for one day, what would you do?
I’d go for a nice walk down P Street, the most underrated street in Georgetown. Then I’d go down to the waterfront and play with the other dogs that get walked down there. After that, I’d be exhausted from all the attention Georgetown students would shower me with, so I’d take a nap up by the observatory. Not a bad day at all.

Photo: Michelle Xu/The Hoya