Summer 2017: Important News Updates

While it seems like just yesterday we were gracing the floors of Lau with our last-minute study guides and caffeine-fueled tears, Summer 2017 is  officially in full swing nevertheless. We know it can be hard to keep up with the headlines when you’re away from the Hilltop, so we here at 4E have compiled a convenient list of the most important things to happen this summer (so far). Take a break from lying in bed binge-watching Netflix working hard at your prestigious internship and enjoy!

Taylor Swift Put Her Music Back on Spotify Like many of you, I endured the #struggle of having to actually purchase songs on iTunes after Taylor took all her music off of Spotify back in 2014 (full disclosure: “Shake It Off” is my anthem. I will likely walk down the aisle at my wedding to this song.) But a few weeks ago, T-Swift fans across the globe rejoiced as her songs suddenly reappeared on the music-streaming platform. Adding to the drama, this move not-so-coincidentally came on the same day as the album release of her famous frenemy, Katy Perry. In other words, Taylor Swift has taken the definition of “petty” to a whole new level this summer.

Beyoncé Had Twins As expected, Beyoncé gave birth to twins and continued her reign of ruling the universe that began way back in 1999 upon the release of “Say My Name.” While pictures of her twins have not yet been released at the time of this publication, we can confirm that they will undoubtedly be cooler and more stylish than I could ever hope to be, as evidenced by the fact that their older sister Blue Ivy is already way ahead of me in terms of both coolness and style.

With genes like this, the rest of us don’t stand a chance

“The Floor Is” Became the Hottest Meme Like many of you, our primary form of communication here at 4E is tagging one another in memes on various social media platforms. Based on our own personal experience, we can definitively say that “The Floor Is” is the hottest meme of the summer so far. For those of you who are over the age of 23 and/or those of you who somehow don’t spend every waking moment staring at your phone, here is Knowyourmeme.com’s official definition to help you better understand: “The Floor Is… refers to an exploitable two-panel photo series featuring  a person avoiding the floor, as they would in The Floor is Lava/Hot Lava Game. It has been used to make image macros about actions that one person will try their best to avoid doing.” See visual examples below.

The Trump Administration Left the Paris Climate Agreement This pretty much sums it up…

Josh Peck Didn’t Invite Drake Bell to His Wedding This one is by far the saddest moment of the summer and possibly even the saddest thing to happen to anyone ever. Josh did not invite the other half of “Drake and Josh: to his wedding. Across the world, millennials wept and wondered: how could this happen? Where did it all go wrong? Did we do something to cause this? Was Megan somehow involved? We may never know what exactly spurred the saddest breakup since the Jonas Brothers disbanded, but we can only hope that these two “brothas” will eventually move beyond this tragedy and hug it out.

Also, do we know if Amanda Bynes was invited? Asking for a friend.

So there you have it: the most important things to happen this summer…so far. Stay tuned for our next edition, and in the meantime, enjoy your summers!

Photos/Gifs/Sources: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com, ryanair.com/blog, tumblr.com

Four Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

There are many painful realities of growing up. At a certain point, you are expected to make your own doctors’ appointments, have a Linkedin profile, pay for the Christmas presents that you are giving, proofread your own emails and put someone other than your mom down as your emergency contact. One of the most regrettable hallmarks of ~adulthood~ is the point at which Valentine’s Day goes from being a lovely holiday where you exchange candy with each of your fellow third grade classmates, to a day of overrated expectations

(Not to mention the societal expectation that you have one singular valentine, which means that you are only receiving candy from ONE person… Who decided this was the norm?)

While the prospect of Valentine’s Day is typically met with groans, chocolate and wine have gone on sale at CVS and this opportunity must be capitalized on, regardless of your relationship status. Whether your valentine is your wife of 50 years, your dog, your BFF, your serious boyfriendTM, or (treat) yourself, 4E is here to help you show the important people in your life how much they mean to you.

1. Bake a cake

I HIGHLY recommend putting your love into homemade, edible, frosted form. Impress your beloved with your ability to maneuver a questionable common room kitchen. Judge whether or not your Tinder date is truly a “match” by how compatible your cake preferences are!

*If they think that red velvet is clothing material, call GUPD asap*

Frost out a romantic haiku to let a special someone on the Hilltop know how you feel. Take away: baking is a fast and foolproof way to just about anyone’s heart.

2. Sing a Taylor Swift song

T-Swizzle’s canon of relationship woes has plenty of material for all relationship statuses. What better way to celebrate your favorite mushy-gushy holiday than whipping out some T. Swift circa-2008 hits? Maybe you have a relationship serious enough to merit a re-enactment of the “You Belong with Me” music video. Or maybe you and your gal-entines are belting out “Teardrops on My Guitar” in between sips of rosé. Thank you, Taylor, for providing us with this kind of versatility.

3. Go out to eat

4E prohibits any semblance of a Leo’s date on February 14th. Nothing says “I love you” like taking a break from the meal plan together. Good news: as good as Leo’s Chicken Finger Thursday is, the bar has been set low. As long as you’ve made reservations, it’s hard to go wrong here. Whether you’re going to be proposing at 1789, or you and your best friend plan on ordering all of the Good Stuff milkshakes together, good food is  a power move.

4. Steal the Hope diamond

We live in Washington D.C., people! You have the Smithsonian Natural History Museum at your disposal and little blue boxes can’t compete with Countess Mona von Bismarck’s sapphire necklace. Perfect gift for your history buff S.O., but maybe not so perfect for your Intro to Ethics crush who’s a proponent of altruism.

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Fall Fashion Preview 2016

Banner - Fall FashionWe at The Fourth Edition take our look quite seriously. As I’m sure you saw, The Hoya released it’s Fall Fashion preview November 4th. As we were so inspired by The Hoya‘s theme of “Forever Young,” we pulled a copy cat move; not “Forever Young” but “Forever Free to Be Me.” Check it out:

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Meet our models.

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Sarah Reuter, Smolder Queen
Laura Bell, hipster Elle Woods
Laura Bell, Hipster Elle Woods
Caroline Bucca, stargazer
Caroline Bucca, Stargazer
Joseph O'Reilly, fuzzy wuzzy
Joseph O’Reilly, Fuzzy Wuzzy
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Meg Lizza, Editor Extraordinaire
Meg Lizza, Executive Editor Extraordinaire

Reuter, our resident fortune teller, correctly predicted that 2016 would conclude looking eerily like 1994. Here’s her take on recycling fashion trends.

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O’Reilly, Fritz, and Bucca took a natural approach to our shoot.

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Yeezy? You frontin’? What?

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Safari on campus: Searching for the chill.

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Update: Chill located.

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Peace & Blessings.

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Please stop scrolling.

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Told you.

Photos: Alessandra Puccio, mashable.com

5 Snapchats You Definitely Got This Weekend

Weekend Snapchats

Picture this. It’s Sunday morning and find yourself waking up bright and early rolling out of bed around 11:30 a.m. with a pounding headache. Your Brita pitcher is all the way across the room in your fridge, which is obviously too difficult to get to, so you get back in bed and reach for your phone. It’s 5% charged, so naturally you use your dwindling battery power to check out your snaps and see what everyone else was up to last night. Here’s what you’re most likely to see:

  1. Unintelligibly Screaming Girls:  You have absolutely no idea what these girls are all screaming about, but they clearly seem pretty distressed. Was there a spider? Did Starbucks suddenly stop serving their specialty holiday drinks? Oh wait, they might just be attempting to sing “Blank Space” at the top of their lungs and horribly off-key. Either way, it’s too early for this much noise so you skip to the next snap before your eardrums burst.
  2. With Bae: What exactly is bae? Sometimes it’s a significant other and sometimes it’s Eat & Joy pizza, it all depends on who you ask. This snap with either remind you just how single you are or — more realistically — how quickly you could devour an entire pizza at the moment.
  3. #SoCollege: Some people just want to remind you that they’re in college, you know in case you forgot or something? That’s why they take every opportunity they can to document the #mostcollege things they see to send you over Snapchat. Vat of mystery punch? Crowded Village B dance party? Casual DFMO at Brown House? Basically the epitome of #College.
  4. “Havingtoook mcjh funnn”: This Snap will most likely be a selfie of someone who looks like they’ve been having a little too much fun all night long. You’ll crack a smile when you see this one and give yourself a little pat on the back because you’re probably having a better morning than this friend.
  5. Netflix Night: You’ll open this Snap and instantly dislike whoever sent it to you. While your friend may have captioned it “Night in!”, they might as well have written “Haha hope that headache doesn’t last all day!”. Forget about giving yourself a pat on the back as this snap serves as a reminder that you still have to write two essays and study for three midterms.

After looking through a few of the Snaps you received, your phone dies so you decide to crawl back under the covers. Waking up before noon is too difficult anyway …

Gifs: tumblr.com; Photo: thoughtcatalog.com

We Can Land on a Comet But We Can’t …

Comet Landing

As you may have heard, a few days ago the Rosetta probe successfully landed on a comet. Twitter users had a humorous response to mankind’s latest outer space feat, posting ridiculous things with the hashtag #WeCanLandOnACometButWeCant. We at 4E have compiled our own list of things we can’t do:

We can land on a comet but we can’t …

… get the USB in the port on the first try.

… find Waldo.

… stop Nicholas Cage from making movies.

… find washing machines that don’t eat our socks.

… make another Harry Potter movie.

… prevent the accidental photo like on Instagram.

… listen to Taylor Swift on Spotify.

… lick our elbows.

… dislike a post on Facebook.

… spread out our flex dollars over the semester.

… find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop.

… rub our tummies and pat our heads.

… decide whether Diet Coke is better or worse than regular Coke.

… pick up our omelettes when we’re supposed to.

… finish a whole stick of chapstick.

… stop missing Markel Starks.

… give our dominant hands presentable manicures.

… remember where we parked our cars.

… stop watching Snapchat stories.

… keep our headphones untangled.

… get restaurant reservations on Saturday at 8 p.m.

… finish our bottles of shampoo and conditioner at the same time.

… even

We get it, world. There is a comet out there somewhere with a probe on it. We can land on a comet. But just think of all the things we can’t do, and let’s get our priorities straight.

Photo: wikimedia.org

Pop Culture Conclave: ‘Blank Space’

taylorswift

In the two weeks since Taylor Swift’s “1989” has been released, we’ve been hearing a lot of our favorite country-gone-pop star. The fervor reached a peak Monday with the release of the video for the album’s second single “Blank Space.” Here, seven self-proclaimed Taylor Swift analysts discuss the best, worst and everything in between moments of the video, accompanied by a lot of screaming.

The panelists: Chair of the Board of Directors and former Guide Editor Sheena Karkal (COL ’15), Business Editor and former Guide Editor Kim Bussing (COL ’16), Contributing Editor Penny Hung (SFS ’16), Online Editor Ian Michael Tice (COL ’16), Executive Editor Mallika Sen (SFS ’16), Guide staff writer Michael Fiedorowicz (COL ’18), Guide Editor Jess Kelham-Hohler (COL ’17)

On Taylor Swift

Sheena: I guiltily like Taylor Swift. Even though she uses the same chord progression in every song, I think this new album is a divergence from her normal style. I thought it was interesting and I like that she’s branching out.

Kim: I literally bought Keds because Taylor Swift wears Keds. [Editor’s note: Kim is wearing Keds right now.] I think Olivia Benson, her cat, would be a great friend. I think she’s perfect. And she has great clothes. And we carry our handbags the same way.

Penny: I guess I’m a fan. Her Red concert was actually the first concert I ever went to. She wasn’t my favorite singer but the new album’s growing on me. Some songs aren’t my favorite. “Blank Space” definitely is my favorite song though — even before I saw the video.

Ian: I won’t admit to it but Taylor Swift is one of my favorites. [Editor’s note: You just admitted to it.]

Mallika: I don’t watch music videos but I watched this one about five times yesterday, including before every time I went to bed. [Editor’s note: Apparently, Mallika went to bed three times yesterday.]

Michael: I was very neutral about Taylor Swift until seeing the terrible video.

Jess: I was always the person who teased all her friends for liking Taylor Swift but then two days ago I found myself going into my room and stealing my roommate’s copy of the CD and putting it on my laptop, so now I’m confused.

The Video

 

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Kim: Olivia Benson!
Jess: Is this like making fun of Beyoncé? It looks exactly like the Beyoncé video. It’s “Haunted” where she’s like in the black lingerie looking all sexy. But of course it’s Taylor Swift so she has a white cat and doesn’t really know what she’s doing.
Kim: Oh because “Shake It Off” was making fun of Miley and Katy Perry and all.
Jess: We are so deep!
Sheena: Is she trying to make fun of Beyoncé right now?!
Kim: That’s crossing a line though.
Jess: This may change my confusion into just hatred.
Kim: I thought she was just trying to look sexy and the evil, pretty temptress.
Mallika: And very Gatsby.
Sheena: Yeah but Beyoncé is actually amazing so …
Penny: Her outfit is just on point.

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Kim: Why wasn’t he cast in “50 Shades of Grey?”
Jess: Taylor Swift needs to stop pretending she’s that sassy.
Everyone, except Michael: *gasps at closeup of his face*
Mallika: Isn’t his eyebrow way too over here, though? [Editor’s note: It literally extends into the middle of his..apparently it’s called a ‘glabella.’]
Kim: That’s his one flaw.
Ian: Just get some tweezers.

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Jess: She needs to stop swaying her head nearly so much in like every second of this video.
Mallika: Doesn’t he also look kind of bored?
Sheena: He’s a terrible actor.
Mallika: He looks kind of, like, patronizing.
Penny: Well he’s a model, not an actor.
Ian: He does not know how to act. He just kind of sits there.
Mallika: He also looks like ‘OK I’m getting paid for this so I don’t care’
Ian: It balances out. She’s overacting to the extreme and he’s just not doing anything.

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Ian: OK who rides bikes inside?! I’m sorry, there are breakables all around them.
Jess: Especially since she seems to have an entire field to ride around in.
Ian: Yeah, go outside.

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Kim: There is no fourth wall!
Mallika: She also looks evil. She knows what’s coming.

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Ian: OK, Taylor is definitely not that good at painting.
Sheena: You know how in Photoshop you can edit a photo to make it look like a painting. That’s what it looks like.

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Kim: Capes are back in apparently.
Penny: And like the random dachshunds too.
Mallika: They’re not dachshunds!!
Everyone: *SCREAMS*
Penny: Dobermans, dobermans. My bad.
Sheena: Dachshunds are so different, oh my god.
Penny: Well they’re like large, black dogs.
Mallika: Dachshunds are the wiener dogs!
Penny: But they look big in “Up!”
Ian: “Up” is a cartoon!
Kim: Those were also dobermans!
Sheena: It’s OK, Penny.
Michael: Look at his stare. It looks like he’s looking at nothing.
Ian: Because he is. He has nothing in there.
Kim: It’s like the “Shake It Off” music video where they say she has nothing in her brain. But he actually has nothing in his.
Mallika: The dogs look really happy.

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Mallika: He like rolls his eyes at her there.
Jess: Also where is she running? Why is she just randomly running?
Jess: He just looks like he’s like ‘Your butt looks really good when you run.’
Kim: That’s not what he’s paid to do.
Sheena: We’re making up so many excuses for him. I think we need to focus on Taylor Swift.

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Ian: I just find a problem with his name being Sean.
Mallika: I don’t like the fact that they gave him a name. They should have never actually showed the heart thing.
Sheena: That’s his real name.
Mallika: They could have shown the heart thing but just not shown his name. Giving him a name ruins the illusion.
Ian: Yeah a long list of ex-lovers. Of Starbucks lovers.
Sheena: We should actually discuss the problem with the lyrics.
Kim: It’s all Brian Carden’s fault. [Editor’s note: Sales Director Brian Carden (MSB ’16) was originally convinced Taylor keeps a long list of Starbucks aficionados. He bailed on this roundtable for the Concert for Valor.]

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Sheena: Wait, wait, wait. We need to talk about how he’s just pressing the same button over and over again. He’s like ‘I really like this emoji.’
Kim: I think I owned those sunglasses when I was 4.

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Jess: Why does she suddenly become angry?
Penny: He’s cheating on her via text message.
Kim: They’re on a romantic date and he’s like ‘Nah I have to be on my phone.’ You’d be pretty pissed off.
Jess: But he was doing that the whole time before and randomly now she sits up and is angry.
Penny: Her lip-syncing gets really off when she gets angry.
Kim: Her best acting is when she’s angry.
Michael: Her best acting goes from like a 0 to a 1.

Everyone tenses in anticipation …

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Everyone, even Michael: *LAUGHS*
Ian: Hands down the best part in the video.
Mallika: Because he’s so bad at it.
Sheena: How can he not just say ‘Oh my god.’ I could do that.
Ian: The arms and everything …

Ian: At this point he just knows that she’s crazy.
Mallika: Why isn’t he leaving?

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Jess: Why is there a deer in her house?
Mallika: I thought it was a goat.
Ian: Yeah, it’s a goat.
Kim: It’s definitely a deer.
Mallika: I thought it was a scapegoat metaphor.
Ian: Either way, why is it next to her fireplace. Why are there so many things that should be outside inside?
Penny: I mean you have two random horses in your bedroom. Why not just have a random goat [Editor’s note: poll — goat or deer?] next to your fireplace?

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Ian: I didn’t realize Taylor Swift had superhuman strength to disintegrate stone.

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Sheena: This look right here.
Everyone, except Michael: Crazy eyes!
Ian: Can she be Crazy Eyes from “Orange Is The New Black” now?
Mallika: She actually looks feral there.

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Ian: Yup, there’s Regina George in male form.

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Penny: The pants. The pants falling down is the best part.
Mallika: He doesn’t even react. He’s just like ‘OK, par for the course.’
Penny: He’s probably used to getting undressed. He’s hot; he probably gets a lot of action.

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Penny: Firebender!
Ian: And he still is just mildly annoyed.
Michael: I think he doesn’t care. He wants to keep the house. He doesn’t want to piss her off.
Sheena: Actually that might be it.
Penny: He’s the trophy husband.

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Ian: What is happening with the apple?
Kim: Oh it is apple voodoo. I didn’t notice that.
Ian: She’s controlling him with that apple.
Michael: It looks like he’s waiting for a cue when he grabs his head.
Jess: It makes no sense though because the next time she grabs it then his hands do it rather than him being like squeezing his head.
Sheena: It makes no sense.
Ian: The metaphor is kind of lost.

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Sheena: That is my favorite part of the song melodically …
Ian: But it’s paired with the weirdest image.
Mallika: It’s also a bit too comedic. Him spitting it out with those eyes and stuff like that makes you laugh regardless. But everything else is amusing but not overtly comedic.

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Mallika: He reacts the second time she smashes the car.
Ian: At least he has some reaction here.
Sheena: Did she hit him with the club?
Mallika: He’s just randomly dead at some point.
Ian: But then he’s alive.

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Kim: Where did the cat go?
Jess: She fed it to the deer that was waiting by the fireplace.
Kim: Deers don’t eat cats, Jess.
Jess: This one does. It lives with Taylor Swift.

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Jess: Somehow she’s managed to pin down this hunky guy with her tiny thighs…

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Ian: How would you stand on a horse?
Mallika: The horse looks mildly uncomfortable.
Penny: What is the purpose?
Michael: Is this like a Jesus metaphor? She looks like the cross and we have the apple.

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Ian: Is it intentional that she falls over?
Kim: She’s just like ‘Oh, I’m goofy. I’m Taylor Swift.’
Mallika: She can explode a fireplace but not wield an axe.
Penny: She tried to slap the tree, I think.
Kim: Maybe she shouldn’t have worn heels while using an axe.

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Michael: Yeah, that’s weird.
Penny: Isn’t he supposed to be dead?
Mallika: So she’s a necrophiliac.
Ian: But he’s not dead.

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Mallika: His hair is not OK. It’s very “Jersey Shore.”
Sheena: OK, you can’t compare this dude to the highest paid male model or whatever.
Penny: They should have got the second-highest paid male model!
Mallika: They should have got Kroenig’s brother!
Everyone, even Michael: Yeah!

Final Impressions

Kim: Great, I’m going to watch it like 10 more times tonight.
Sheena: I feel like it’s ridiculous intentionally.
Kim: It’s a good music video. It’s supposed to be funny.
Penny: It’s supposed to be making fun of the fact that people are calling her crazy. Like you want crazy, you get crazy.
Mallika: Self-awareness is really likeable.
Sheena: I feel like before she was kind of mum on everybody talking about her. So this is nice.
Ian: As I watch it more, I’m kind of getting over it more. I watched it maybe 15 times yesterday but this is only the second time today. It’s a little much.
Penny: I feel like it gets more ridiculous for me the more I watch it. The lip-syncing gets more and more off. Her acting gets worse and worse.
Jess: I think right now we make excuses for her but eventually — probably like two weeks from now — everyone is going to get so annoyed with her.
Michael: The guy was a terrible actor.
Kim: But he’s pretty
Michael: Plus, she’s trying way too hard and she’s not being Taylor Swift.
Kim: That’s the point.
Michael: I know, I get that. But I don’t think she should be trying to do that. And I think she fails in the video.
Jess: You broke Kim’s heart.
Kim: I feel bad for Taylor. I wonder if she cares if people say mean things about her because Anne Hathaway does.
Everyone, even Michael: ….

[Editor’s Note: the roundtable dissolves into chaos at this point, courtesy the insidious divisiveness Anne Hathaway evokes.]

Thanks for joining us for the inaugural edition of Pop Culture Conclave. We’ll be bringing you more incisive analysis and commentary with the release of each zeitgeisty music video.

Apps & New Releases — Oct. 24, 2014

guideblogApps

B4_AppLevelMoneyLevel Money
Free

This new app is a great resource for college students. It analyzes your bank accounts to let you know just how much you can spend to stay within your budget. It has the ability to track income, bills and savings to display a spendable amount. In addition, it tracks transactions and categorizes them in an easy, color-coded interface that makes finances painless. Supported by over 2,000 banks, Level Money links to your bank account so you do not need to enter anything manually. This app effectively displays how much you can spend and is invaluable in keeping your finances on track.

B4_AppSpringSpring
Free

Ever find yourself at Yates without a good playlist to match your workout? With this new app, this is no longer a problem. With upbeat songs picked by artists and friends alike, Spring makes it easy to change the tempo of your music to match the intensity of your exercise activity. It even synchronizes movement to different songs so users never find themselves listening to a song that is too slow. The app works as a more specialized version of Spotify, as its social media integration allows users to share playlists and rate other songs to add to their own playlists.

B4_AppSkypeQikSkype Qik
Free

The issue of group video messaging on a mobile format is no more with this new app, which allows users to easily create group chats and record and share videos. A unique aspect is the ability to delete messages from the chat which erases them from the conversation. The minimalist design makes it easy to navigate, and there are no login, usernames or passwords to remember. Similar to SnapChat, this app creates a new way to send location-based messages and videos to individuals or groups.

 

New Releases

B7_Drown_RCArecords‘Drown’
Bring Me the Horizon
★★★☆☆

The British metalcore band has put itself on the punk-metal music radar with this new single. Lead singer Oliver Syke demonstrates his talent as a singer with his abrupt transitions between smooth, serenading vocals and the signature coarse screams of the genre. While its prominent and fast-paced guitar and drum parts set up the foundation for metalcore moshing, the distant chorus contrasts these elements and lends a dreamier, less harsh feeling to the song. The accompanying music video is hilarious, including several seconds of a random jazz music intermission that continues the melody of the song while an exorcism supposedly takes place.

B7_Livingwithoutyou_islandrecords‘Living Without You’
Tulisa
★★★★★

Tulisa is a woman of many talents, and her newest single is a testament to her strength as a singer-songwriter. The intro begins with an impressive display of sultry vocals that culminates in an abrupt shift to synthetic beats. It is a welcome change that brings back ’60s disco vibes, and Tulisa’s lyrics pick up the pace to add to this playfulness. The bubbly synth layers complement her voice without overwhelming it, and the song is a great sing-along song for clubs or dance parties. Overall, the single wonderfully shows off Tulisa’s powerful, flexible voice, a feature that is usually lost in the safe, restrictive melodies of other pop songs.

B7_BabyDontLie_InterscopeRecords‘Baby Don’t Lie’
Gwen Stefani
★☆☆☆☆

It seems that Gwen Stefani has fallen into the trap of formulated pop music. She sacrifices her normally sassy, unwavering singing style for a bizarre tune that consistently changes from deep, yet tolerable vocals to a high-pitched squeak. While the synthetic beats are catchy and creative, Stefani’s weak melody and superficial lyrics fail to match their adventurous mood. The song transitions into an unnecessary section where Stefani gives a short speech accompanied by a strong bass that is supposed to build up and release tension in the following chorus but falls markedly short. Stefani has succeeded in imitating the beat-focused pop music of today, but at the cost of what made her rebellious songs like “Hollaback Girl” so famous.

B7_tswift_BigMachineRecords‘Welcome to New York’
Taylor Swift
★★★★☆

This is the third single Swift has released in anticipation for her upcoming album “1989,” which will be released next week. The song begins with prominent claps and a buzzing synth pulse. Swift then takes over with her energetic falsetto voice which is subtly harmonized to produce a more unique effect. The song doesn’t incorporate her country roots, and it continues to follow the conventional layout of her recent pop hits.  While the lyrics aren’t very symbolic, they have a catchy, rhythmic flow that makes it an easy and enjoyable listen. Whether you’re a fan of Swift or not, one way or another you’ll somehow find yourself knowing all the words and singing along to this one.

How to Kill the Halloween Group Costume

Group Costumes

Halloween is nearly upon us! Maybe you want to shine with an individual costume, but we hope you’re looking to get together a killer group costume. You might not have creativity or individuality, but somehow you’ve tricked some people into being your friends. So let’s try a group costume. 4E has some time-tested and approved ideas that can take your Halloween to the next level.

Crayola crayons

The free spirits out there can take this to the next level: Go completely naked. Paint your entire body a single color. Use black paint to spell out Crayola. Extra points if you make a construction cone or an ice cream cone into a pointy colored hat.

For a conservative twist: Cut out the letters in “Crayola” and strategically place them to protect your “dignity.”

An assortment of beer brands
Use the box of a depleted six- or 30-pack to make all of your clothing and accessories. This includes tube top, shorts, top hats, chain necklaces and mustaches.

The many sides of Taylor Swift

For ladies: Each of you dresses as the Taylor who’s most like you from your favorite song’s music video. Not saying T-Swizzle is moody, but you’re guaranteed to all look completely different.

For men: If you have a large enough friend group, you can dress up as the men Taylor Swift has dumped and call yourselves “the lucky many.”

A hoard of basic betches
You could wear the uniform of the basics (leggings, Victoria’s Secret hoodie, Uggs) or you could get creative and dress up as the actual basic objects: an Ugg boot, a frappachino with skim milk, etc. For inspiration, look at any girl’s Instagram account.

The Seven Deadly Sins
For these it might be easier to just wear a sign with your sin written on it and then adopt a few behavior rules.

Lust: The typical conduct of males at house parties will suffice.

Gluttony: Over-indulge yourself at a party by over-consuming all the beverages and snacks (bring your own snacks) in sight.

Greed: Take things from people/places throughout the night. Never return them.

Sloth: You could dress up like an actual sloth (maybe use a snuggie or a fuzzy blanket?) or dress like a slob and be really lazy all night.

Wrath: Get so drunk that you yell at random people for no reason.

Envy: Wear all green. Drink only green things. You are green with envy.

Pride: Talk about being a Hoya (or a Corpie!) constantly.

There you have it, five of the best group Halloween costumes for 2014. And if you don’t have enough friends to properly execute a group costume, we suggest looking on Tinder, Grindr or Cuddlr. Make sure to include in your bio that you’re a “lone trick-or-treater looking for a costume buddy” and you’ll for sure get a ton of responses.

Photos: joke.co.uk, r29static.com, amazonaws.com

Timeline of an Awkward Date

Timeline of Awkward Date

Every so often, us girls have those nights that inevitably end in two empty pans of Betty Crocker brownies, five episodes of “One Tree Hill,” emotional hair-braiding sessions and possibly tears while falling asleep to Taylor Swift’s “Cold As You.” We stay up long after the Netflix binge, reflecting on how we literally can’t even deal with why college boys can’t measure up to Chad Michael Murray.

But then there are those times when the nonexistent date you were just complaining about does happen, and is so uncomfortable that you find yourself wishing you had never prayed to Ryan Gosling about your relationship problems in the first place. Allow Jane Hoya to take you through that cringe-worthy dinner and bring back the memories you’ve tried to black out of your romantic history.

Pre-Date

6:57 p.m. Jane leaves her house now to feign nonchalance.

7:10 p.m. Ten minutes fashionably late and he isn’t here. Nonchalance backfires.

7:12 p.m. Does she sit? Okay she’s sitting. Now there’s bread. Eats three pieces of bread.

7:14 p.m. He’s standing behind her but she doesn’t notice, as she is preoccupied confirming to the waiter that yes, she has in fact finished the bread basket, and yes, she’d like it refilled before her friend gets here.

7:15 p.m. Jane is still trying to recover from the bread fiasco when here comes her Spanish professor who has spotted her in the restaurant. Now she must simultaneously greet them. Are introductions necessary here? Does she stand? No hugging.

Mealtime

7:20 p.m. Orders burger first. He orders a salad. Without dressing. No croutons?!

7:22 p.m. Jane makes small talk. Complains about two tests this week. He had three midterms, a research paper and his dog died.

7:29 p.m. Conversation at a lull. Accidentally has been rubbing his foot under the table. Thought it was a pole. Excuses herself for the bathroom.

7:40 p.m. There was a line. Was she really in the bathroom for 10 minutes? He’s probably jumping to some unfortunate conclusions right now.

7:42 p.m. Seriously? No croutons?

7:45 p.m. Spanish professor comes back to the table for more conversation. Wants to speak in Spanish this time. Jane has barely spoken in English so far. Forced to speak in Spanish in front of date. May or may not have spit on him while rolling an “r.”

7:52 p.m. Meal comes. All of a sudden he’s asking a lot of questions. Maybe because he feels bored after having finished his lettuce and air in two bites while Jane is struggling to answer between mouthfuls of her burger.

Post-Meal

8:10 p.m. Waiter brings dessert unrequested “for the couple.”

8:18 p.m. Check comes. Jane offers to pay. He says he’s got it covered.

8:19 p.m. Changes his mind. Maybe she could throw a few dollars in because burgers generally cost a little more than lettuce.

8:30 p.m. They walk home. He wants to know if they could do that again sometime. What’s the least awkward way to say no? Settles for “I’m busy every evening for the rest of the semester. See you in class tomorrow! Deuces!” Crushed it.

So there you have it, a fun reminder that not going on dates doesn’t necessarily mean you’re missing out on a great time. But what to do if your evening was eerily similar to Jane Hoya’s? Either you pretend it didn’t happen or you watch enough episodes of “Dating Naked” to make you feel better about yourself, because at the very least you weren’t desperate enough to ride a Jetski with a nude stranger. (Note: If this date was especially awkward, you may need to alternate with episodes of “Teen Mom.” Dodged a bullet there!)

Photo: thedailymeal.com

Revengenda: Student Clubs

Club Rejection

“Club season,” as some (by some, I mean me) have dubbed it, is almost over at Georgetown. Like my mother astutely commented, applying to clubs at Georgetown is “almost like reapplying to college.” First, let’s acknowledge that there are some great clubs that do not require you to send applications. Here’s to you GIVES, GUGS and many more.

Secondly, one of the reasons clubs can be very competitive at Georgetown is that we Hoyas are generally a great group of kids. It’s almost unfair, am I right? Still, no matter how formidable the competition was, rejection can be tough. We at 4E understand and are here to help. One of my personal idols, Mindy Kaling, once said, “You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face — who will love them now?” In that spirit, here is 4E’s guide on how to get back at clubs that have rejected you.

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  1. People say, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” So, next semester, why not apply to the one club that is in friendly – or not so friendly – competition with the club that rejected you?
  2. Keep reapplying. Not just next semester, but reapply every semester for your entire time at Georgetown. If nothing else, you’ll annoy them to death.
  3. Take a note from Mean Girls and create your own burn book. Just don’t let it fall into the wrong hands…
  4. Go all Taylor Swift and write a chart topping song about the club. “I knew you were trouble when I clicked send.”
  5. Listen to Destiny Child’s “Survivor.” Don’t question it. Just trust me, it works.
  6. Have a little party with your good friends Ben & Jerry. tumblr_n5fiymEeUs1tqs1heo1_500
  7. Start your own club. You are a Hoya, which means you are intelligent, creative and (insert adjective of choice). Use this as inspiration and create something amazing!
  8. Don’t worry! On a more serious note, I myself can list several clubs I did not get into or have already reapplied to more than once. Opportunities besides student clubs are always coming up for Hoyas here on the Hilltop. Don’t let one decision get you down, never forget to keep trucking and doing you!

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Photo: copyblogger.com; Gifs: Buzzfeed.com, Tumblr