Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

The Five People You Meet at a Super Bowl Party

superbowl-party

With the Super Bowl fast approaching, it’s probably time that you start finding a place to watch the Pats and Seahawks battle it out.

Super Bowl parties are awesome because you get to eat a ton of delicious greasy food, drink endless amounts of beer and watch TV. I mean even the commercials are fun to watch. At most Super Bowl parties, there are always the same characters in attendance.

Here are the five people you meet at a Super Bowl Party:

1. The Super Fan. This guy is rowdy and ready to go. He’s got on the jersey of his favorite player and if someone disturbs him, well it just won’t be pretty. You probably don’t want to be in close proximity with this person as they may suddenly jump up and start yelling at the ref. I guess, we should just let him do his thing because his passion can never be tamed.

2. The Provider (of food and beer of course). This person is always behind the scenes and rarely sitting on the couch.  This person is essential for a successful party because they are the ones that just keep whipping out food.  Hot wings, cheese dip, ice cold beer, taquitos… You name it, they are cookin’ it up.

3. That one guy who roots for the “other” team. Yeah, you know this guy. He is the one that gets all offended when you diss his team.  He is the one person at the party in the wrong colors. I mean, we should not bag on this guy too much. He is passionate about his team and hey, maybe you are him.

4. That person who has no idea what is going on, but tries to pretend like they do. This person obviously has not been keeping tabs on their fantasy team or anything football-related all season. They pretend like they know how each team played throughout the season, but they’re bluffing and everyone knows it. This guy should just sit back and be quiet.

5. The Commercial Connoisseur. They are watching the game not really for the game, but for the reveal of the commercials. This person can rattle off commercials from three Super Bowls ago and they have probably watched last year’s Budweiser ad way too many times. They get especially all hot and bothered when the Doritos and GoDaddy ads pop up and cry like a baby each time they see a Clydesdale reunite with his Budweiser loving friend.

So cute!!!

You might think the question is “who will win?”, but in reality it’s “who are you?”

Gifs: Giphy.com; Tumblr.com; http://rpmmultisite.s3.amazonaws.com/

Things We Expected to Happen During the Halftime Show That Didn’t Happen

beyonce yes

1. We definitely thought Blue Ivy and Jay-Z were going to come out But then they didn’t … I expected her to be all “allow me to re-introduce myself” and then have Jay-Z bust onto the scene holding Blue Ivy Cater who would then proceed to drop it like it’s hot.

2. No commercial could ever follow that But then they pulled out a moving and OPRAH-NARRATED Jeep commercial. It was excellent.

3. A Janet Jackson moment JUST KIDDING. BECAUSE SHE’S BEYONCE AND SHE’S PERFECT AND CLASSY.

4. A fun-spirited joke about lip syncing at the inauguration Then again, she did already do that at the NFL press conference. “Any questions?”

5. We also definitely didn’t expect it to end so quickly I kind of was ready to concede the win to the Ravens (which is saying a lot, because I’m a die-hard Pats fan) with a final score of 21-6 — under the condition that Beyoncé just kept performing.

Photo: Huffington Post

Pasta Bread Bowl > Super Bowl XLVII

bowls

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY. RAVENS v. 49ERS.

I repeat, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY. RAVENS v. 49ERS.

Yeah, I don’t really care either … but at least hockey’s back, right?

I’m no negative (*nopance*) Nancy over here, but I didn’t jump on the Baltimore bandwagon so I’m just not all that stoked about the Super Bowl. Maybe if things happened a bit differently, like if the Giants were in it (or the Jets, but that was never a thing) or if the Redskins had beat the Seahawks. (You’re fibbing if you say you don’t like watching RGIII play.) Better yet, if Destiny’s Child was performing at halftime. Wait — that’s happening.

Here are some bowl-related things that I find equally if not more exciting than the 2013 Super Bowl.

Bowl Cuts — Nothing is better than sitting right behind someone in one of your classes who has a wicked bowl cut — actually, there is literally nothing more distracting. How does it just stay so perfectly in that shape? How do you ever stop touching your hair if you have one? What does it look like after you take a shower?

Bowling for Soup — Not sure what it means to bowl for soup, but “1985” and “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” — gems. What if BFS performed at the Superbowl? WITH DESTINY’S CHILD. No. Got ahead of myself. But really, Bowling for Soup > Ray Lewis. (Brief interjection from Lindsay Lee: I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY.) (Brief interjection from KP Pielmeier: CAN  I GET AN AMEN?!)

Bowling Birthday Parties — No one does this anymore. Why not? I did this in middle school and it was a raging success. The invitations were shaped like bowling pins and we ate crappy pizza and store-bought cake until we felt sick and then went to the arcade and I bought a harmonica with the tickets I won. When did this become uncool?

Fish Bowls — My roommate and I had a Chinese fighting fish in the fall. The little guy passed away in November (really traumatic day) but we had a nice run with Arthur. He brought a lust for life into Village A that was unlike anything you’ve ever seen — so young, wild and free.

Pasta Bread Bowl – As advertised, it’s “so good you’ll devour the bowl.” Maybe you can eat a Pasta Bread Bowl while you watch the Super Bowl this year. $5.99, just sayin’.

Photo: Invitation Consultation, So Good Blog, IGN, SportsCity

The Best (and Worst) of Super Bowl Ads

by Martin Hussey

Last night marked my second favorite American holiday (behind Thanksgiving). After all, when else do people crowd around the TV, watch some football, stuff their faces with junk food and cheer at advertisements? And despite a matchup that did not feature my Denver Broncos, this Super Bowl turned out to be one of my favorites. For one, it was exciting until Tom Brady’s very last Hail Mary. It also featured the best halftime show I can remember (certainly better than The Black Eyed Peas’ disaster in Dallas last year). More than anything, though, this year’s ads topped even those of last year.

While no single ad was better than Chrysler’s epic inspirational 2-minute commercial last year (although Chrysler did show another, slightly depressing and less exciting 2-minute ad during halftime this year) the group of commercials in Super Bowl XLVI was, as a whole, more hilarious, more inspirational, and more entertaining than before. In case you missed the ads, here’s my rundown of the best and worst ads from last night:

BEST:

Dannon’s Oikos Greek Yogurt: When this first came on, I was furious that Dannon wasted a Super Bowl spot on an ad featuring John Stamos playing with yogurt (boring!) but the ending is priceless.

 

Chevy Sonic: It is really amazing how Chevy can make a subcompact car seem completely awesome just by dumping it out of a plane, making it do skateboard tricks, and putting it on a bungee jump. The song choice just brings the whole thing together. Great ad.

 

Doritos: Babies flying through the air and stealing Doritos away from a mean big kid is funny. Doritos wins the award for best use of juvenile humor this year.

Continue reading “The Best (and Worst) of Super Bowl Ads”

Sunday Night Wrapup: The End of Occupy?

by Michelle Cassidy

Photo: Flickr user Glyn Lowe Photos

Between a Hoya victory, evacuations in McPherson Square and a last-minute win for the New York Giants, this was a decidedly exciting weekend. Despite our brief hiatus last week, we’re back with the highlights in this weekend’s Sunday Night Wrapup:

  • Saturday’s game against South Florida ended in a big win for the Hoyas. If we keep up this level of play, Syracuse should probably start worrying about our matchup on Wednesday night.
  • Park Police raided the Occupy D.C. encampments in McPherson Square early Saturday morning and started clearing out campers and tents. Though the raid was relatively calm compared to those in Oakland and New York City, at least eight people were arrested as of Saturday night.
  • Sunday night you could hear the whoops of New Yorkers (and the gloomy faces of New Englanders) across campus after the Giants took home another Superbowl victory. Looks like Manning Face will be going to Disney World!

Sunday Night Wrapup: It Snowed!

Photo via Flickr user ep_jhu

by Bethany Imondi

In case you’ve been hiding in Lau for the past two days or are just starting to make sense of things again after a few wild nights, here’s what you missed this weekend:

  • On Saturday, our 12th-ranked men’s basketball team lived up to its “Heart Attack Hoyas” moniker with a last-minute  52-50 victory over Rutgers at Verizon Center.
  • The body of a man who had been living in the woods adjacent to the university’s Canal Street entrance for the past 25 years was discovered early Thursday afternoon. The Metropolitan Police Department is currently investigating the man’s death.
  • Joe Paterno, former Penn State football coach and the winningest coach in major college football, died early Sunday morning after losing his battle with lung cancer.
  • With the help of Baltimore Ravens’ kicker Billy Cundiff, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots advanced to Indianapolis to play in this year’s Super Bowl. The Patriots defeated the Ravens, 23-20, in Sunday’s AFC championship game at Foxboro’s Gillette Stadium.
  • And thanks to the San Francisco 49ers’ fumbled punt return in overtime of the NFC championship game, the New York Giants defeated the 49ers, 20-17, in San Francisco to advance to the Super Bowl. The February 5 game will be a rematch of Super Bowl XLII, in which the Giants ended the Patriots’ undefeated season with a 17-14 upset.