Bill Clinton: A True Hoya

As you may have heard, Georgetown’s very own prodigal son is returning home to the Hilltop this week. And as cynical as we usually are here at 4E, this is actually a pretty cool thing. After all, since the events of the past year have forced us to acknowledge that Eric Trump, Steve Bannon, and Paul Manafort are technically alumni, we need to celebrate the Hoyas who didn’t collude with Russia have made a positive impact in the world now more than ever.

But as you prepare to camp outside Gaston to hear his speech, many of you who were born in the late-90s may be asking yourselves, “Who is Bill Clinton?” We know from eavesdropping on Blue and Gray tours that he certainly attended Georgetown, but is he really a Hoya? If he were a student today, would he regularly attend Jersey Night? Would he mourn the loss of Quick Pita? Would he post in the meme group? And more importantly, would his memes be dank?  To try to answer some of these pressing questions, we here at 4E briefly skimmed carefully read and took diligent notes on Bill Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, and came to the following conclusion:

Bill Clinton is a true Hoya.

Take a look at our reasoning below:

1. He Loves Wisey’s

The Quote: “At Wisemiller’s Deli, just across Thirty-sixth Street from the Walsh building where I had most of my classes, I got coffee and two donuts for twenty cents every morning

Our Analysis: Like all good Hoyas, Bill Clinton both loves Wisey’s and eats there way too much. He definitely would have voted for the Hot Chick/Chicken Madness ticket back in the infamous GUSA election of 2016, and is surely a strong supporter of our unofficial school mascot, The Wisey’s Rat™. So the next time you feel guilty about eating Wisey’s cookies for breakfast as you walk in 15 minutes late to your class on the fourth floor of Walsh because the elevator was taking forever, just remember that you will probably grow up to be the President of the United States.

When you call your order in and the wait is only 10 minutes

2. He Never Leaves Campus

The Quote:In my first two years, I rarely ventured beyond the confines of the University and its immediate surroundings”

Our Analysis: For a true Hoya, Burleith is as exotic as it gets. Yes, just like a vast majority of Hoyas, Bill Clinton fell victim to the Georgetown Bubble. And yes, we know D.C. is a world-class city full of renowned food, art, and culture, but the whole Metro system is confusing and not a lot of places take GoCard. True Hoyas stick to complaining about the lack of options at Leo’s and only venture beyond M street once a semester for Instagram-related purposes. Also “immediate surroundings” is definitely code for Chi Di. We’ll see you there on Thursday, Bill. Hopefully you have a good ID though, they’ve been pretty tough this year.

When someone suggests you should “explore D.C. more”

3. He Embraces Our “Sleep When You’re Dead” Culture

The Quote: “My most memorable class sophomore year was Professor Walter Giles’s U.S. Constitution and Government… By the time I got to his class I had embraced my lifelong affinity for sleep deprivation and had developed the sometimes embarrassing habit of falling asleep for five or ten minutes of class”

Our Analysis: Same, Bill Clinton. Same. Does it even qualify as a Georgetown class if more than half its students are awake at any given time? Whether it’s in a lecture hall, on Healy Lawn, or in the middle of a professor’s office hours (it happened once), falling asleep at inappropriate times is what we Hoyas do best. Honestly, Bill Clinton, props for doing this well in an era before you could try to stay awake by scrolling through memes on Facebook while the professor thinks you’re taking notes. Side note to any of my professors who accidentally clicked on this article: I love your class! Keep up the good work!

When the professor makes eye contact during the lecture and you have to act like you’re deep in thought over whatever they just said

4. He Has a Capitol Hill Internship

The Quote: On interning for Arkansas Senator William Fulbright, “It was easy to fit the job into my daily schedule, partly because in junior year only five courses were required instead of six, partly because some classes started as early as 7 a.m.”

Our Analysis: If you hadn’t already guessed, Bill Clinton was in the SFS. This quote confirms it. I can practically hear this quote telling me he’s a STIA major and that he has to go study for MAP. Even today, when Bill Clinton meets new people, I guarantee you that he finds some way to mention the SFS. This guy is a Hoya.

When it’s been five minutes and no one has asked about your foreign service background yet

5. He Loves The Tombs

The Quote:My favorite haunts in Georgetown were the Tombs, a beer hall in a cellar beneath the 1789 restaurant, where most of the students went for beer and burgers

Our Analysis: Bill Clinton’s Tombs Night was definitely lit. But not too lit, like where you had to call GERMS and the whole night was ruined. It was just the right level of lit, like where everybody danced to “In Da Club” by 50 Cent when the clock hit midnight, and then Bill Clinton got a great Instagram pic of his forehead being stamped by the Tombs bouncer. Every Hoya since John Carrol has made some of their greatest memories at the Tombs. Need we say more?

Actual photo of Bill Clinton getting his forehead stamped on his Tombs Night. On an unrelated note, yes, I am available for freelance photoshop jobs. Serious inquiries only.

So there you have it: Bill Clinton is a Georgetown Hoya. Our diligent research has definitively proved it. We hope you all have fun accidentally falling asleep learning a lot at his speech on Monday- and huge props to the team over at #GUPolitics for making this happen! No disrespect to the time you got Martin O’Malley to play his guitar in McShain Lounge, but this is definitely much cooler than that.

Sources: My Life by Bill Clinton, Tombs.com, Facebook.com, giphy.com, Georgetowndc.com, georgetown.edu

How to Study and Make a Difference at the Same Time!

Cat Cafe

Need a place to study, but want to do a good deed at the same time? The on-campus project called “Making a Difference” is partnering with Crumbs and Whiskers in order to save more pets from facing life in shelters.  The coffee shop, located on O St., is giving a discount to Georgetown students ($22 pass for the whole day) so that you can enjoy some coffee, quality study time, and some furry friends to get you through finals!

In case you need a refresher on why cats are awesome, 4E is here to provide you with some quality gifs.

Here’s this one:  

And this one…

And of course this one…

So make a difference and visit Crumbs and Whiskers located on O St. next to Wingos (we know you know where that is).

Images: giphy.com, http://crumbsandwhiskers.com

4E’s Ultimate Guide to Procrastination

spongebob-rainbowFinals season: it’s the most wonderful gut-wrenching time of the year! Besides spending an inhumane amount of time in the Lau basement, imbibing unhealthy amounts of caffeine, and sleeping at wholly inappropriate hours, you have likely been doing some odd things in an attempt to avoid studying.

Perhaps you have taken a Buzzfeed quiz entitled “Which Mesozoic Era Are You?” (I’m Cretaceous). Perhaps you have found yourself stalking your Grandmother’s Facebook with alarming regularity, or accidentally liking your friend’s boyfriend’s roommate’s little sister’s Instagram post from 73 weeks ago.

It may seem like you are running out of appropriate ways to procrastinate, but don’t worry! 4E is here to save the day with some innovative procrastination methods guaranteed to help you put off studying for your finals until the last possible minute.

1. Watch all 33 chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”

“Trapped in the Closet” is a musical and visual masterpiece. The “hip hopera” will also give you some tips and tricks for what to do next time you are forced to hide in a closet from your lover’s husband.

Time wasted: 133 minutes

2. Wait in the Leo’s pasta line

Artistic rendering of the Leo’s pasta line. Not to scale.

Usually reserved for special occasions and days during which you have a burning desire to wait in line for an unreasonable amount of time, the Leo’s pasta line is a prime destination for procrastination. Not only will you use up a substantial portion of your study time, you will also be rewarded with a delicious bowl of handcrafted pasta.

Time wasted: 25-45 minutes

3. Listen to your voicemails

Those voicemails on your phone won’t just listen to themselves, you know. What better time than finals week to catch up on the 47 voice messages from your mom passive-aggressively letting you know that you need to call her back immediately?

Time wasted: Varies, depending on whether you delete voicemails immediately or let them sit there because who knows, you might get to them eventually.

4. Go on a scavenger hunt in the ICC

If you’re brave enough for this suggestion, just be sure to bring plenty of food and water (suggested amount: seven days worth). Also make sure to tell at least one person where you are going so that the search and rescue team will know where to look.

Time wasted: possibly eternity

5. Plan your wedding to that boy/girl in your history class that you’re in love with but have never talked to

First, decide on the perfect venue. Then, figure out what flavor you want your cake to be, make the guest list and pick out the dress. While you’re at it, you should probably also shoot a text to your preferred Maid of Honor or Best Man and hammer down a date. Maybe you’ll even drum up the courage to start a conversation with your intended spouse!

Time wasted: depends on how many things you already have pinned to your Pinterest board

6. Watch the entirety of Weird Al’s “Trapped in the Drive-Thru”

This odyssey of a song is the definition of lyrical genius. It even has a twist ending!

Time wasted: 11 minutes that you will never get back

 7. Rearrange the furniture on Lau 5

All those cubicles are not conducive to group projects or chats with your friends. Restore feng shui to the library by moving around the tables, desks and chairs as you see fit. You’re sure to get a standing ovation from all the cubicle-dwelling orgo students who have been deprived of human contact for who knows how long.

 Time wasted: 120 minutes. Possibly longer if someone doesn’t appreciate your designing prowess and decides to engage in a verbal altercation with you.

8. Fix Congress

You’re a Georgetown student, so you’re definitely opinionated and informed enough to take on this task. Don’t let your years of hard work and infinite depths of knowledge go to waste!

Time wasted: ????

We hope these suggestions have given you some inspiration for your next procrastination tactic. Good luck on your finals and on getting Congressional Democrats and Republicans to agree on something!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, youtube.com, neatorama.com, tumblr.com

POG Study Guide

70918ee4ab004f5d6c4889f5a2c27114Greetings fellow freshmen and a happy finals season to all! Guess what’s coming up?! The POG Final!

yes-man1

(Disclaimer: that’s pronounced pog, like dog, frog, log, jog, clog, bog and smog.)

Given our glamorous location at the oldest Catholic School in the country, I figure most of us are pretty well versed in religion so I will try not to be too condescending.

Also, given that the POG final’s official exam date is not until May 9th and the various commendable Problem of God professors have chosen their own respective design styles, we have considered only the larger umbrella points that will be helpful to all, POG students and muggles included, to navigate the universe within(?) them. To help us all prepare for not only this glorious final, but for the rest of our lives, 4E has come up with some questions and terms to ponder:

  1. What is the meaning of life?

 Is it “I just want to be successful” by Drake and Trey Songz????

…Or is it “Seasons of Love” from Rent?

2. Evolution: Let us provide you with a few examples:

celebrity_transformations_josh-peck

Josh!!! What happened?

n-neville-longbottom--large-msg-1334623995

Anyone remember Neville Longbottom?

miley-cyrus-before-and-after

Hannah Montana; Miley?

3. Creationism– Here’s how it’s done:

4. Who is God?

Is it Ryan?

giphy-3

Our very own Bradley?

giphy-2

NOPE… It’s Morgan Freeman.

giphy-4

Alas, 5. What is God?

Screen Shot 2015-04-30 at 2.53.55 PM

Well, we suppose this one’s up for you to decide.

Happy studying!

photos/gifs: giphy

GTFO: Hidden Study Spots in DC

GTFO

GTFO is back, and here to help you find more ways to leave campus. With finals coming up

Oops, where was I? Anyways, with finals coming up, 4E has decided to help you find free hidden study spots throughout DC. If caffeine isn’t your thing, don’t fret! There are plenty of non-coffee-shop ways to escape the soul-sucking monstrosity that is Lau, the primal fights that arise when two pre-med students fight over a booth in Regents and the smug looks thrown your way out the windows of the MSB castle after your GoCard stops working at midnight.

LET ME IN MSB

Here are some of the best places to enhance your studying by exploring DC:

1. The Bishop’s Garden: Pilgrim Rd Washington, DC 20016

What is it: The Bishop’s Garden is located in the back of the National Cathedral, a short two-mile walk from campus.

Why you should go: It’s a great place to sit out in the sun and work on your Problem of God paper or read John Calvin. Although there’s no wifi, the garden is a peaceful place to get work done and escape the masses of stressed out students.

How to get there: if you aren’t feeling the 2 mile walk, you can take the 30S bus up Wisconsin.

2. Kogod Courtyard: 8th St NW & F St NW, Washington, DC 20001

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What is it: Located inside the National Portrait Gallery/Smithsonian American Art Museum, Kogod Courtyard is a cool modern space with lots of tables and free wifi.

Why you should go: If you get tired of studying, you can check out the America’s Presidents gallery or the American Art Museum exhibits (arguably the coolest museum in DC). Bonus: Shake Shack is right across the street.

How to get there: Take the D6 bus to 7th and E, or the Metro red line from Dupont to Gallery Place.

3. The Metro

What is it: This might be a me thing (OK, it’s definitely a me thing), but the Metro is arguably the best study spot in DC.

Why you should go: People-watching is by far the best form of procrastination, and when you’re sick of contemplating the intricacies of macroeconomics, you can contemplate the underground architectural marvel that is the WMATA. Bonus: there’s almost nothing in life as satisfying as riding the Metro to the end of the line, walking across the platform, and getting back on the train going the other way. I also should probably find a hobby other than obsessing over the Metro.

How to get there: If you’re a blue/silver/orange line person, hop on the GUTS bus from Rosslyn and take the Metro from there. If you’re a red line person, take the GUTS bus to Dupont to begin the best study session of your life.

4. Constitution Gardens: 

What is it: Constitution Gardens is another outdoor option for all you lucky people who don’t get sunburned after spending two minutes outside.

Why you should go: Located near the Reflecting Pool but away from all the tourists, Constitution Gardens is a beautiful spot to relax under the shadow of the Washington Monument. Bask in the glory of ‘Merica while cranking out some reading.

How to get there: Constitution Gardens is very close to the Lincoln Memorial, so it’s a doable walk or bike ride. You can also get pretty close using the D6 bus or the Foggy Bottom Metro stop.

5. The Library of Congress: 101 Independence Ave SE, Washington, DC 20540

What is it: The reading room at the Library of Congress is the most legit place to study in the District.

Why you should go: Studying in the hallowed halls of the LoC is a great procrastination preventer as going on Facebook seems sacrilegious when you’re surrounded by actual researchers doing actual research. Bonus: Having a Library of Congress card automatically makes you an ultimate swagmaster and way cooler than all of your friends. Flash that baby at Brown House and you will never again be asked, “Who do you know here?”

How to get there: Both the 30S and the D6 bus will get you within walking distance of the Library. You can also take the Metro from Rosslyn to the Capitol South stop.

Take advantage of all the awesome places DC has to offer, and GTFO during your finals cram sessions. Lau 2 will always be here to welcome you back with open arms and negative productivity.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, streetepistemology.com, stationsmart.com, americanart.si.edu, living-in-washingtondc.com, wikipedia.org, blogs.loc.com

What Your Favorite Study Spot Says About You

Study Spot

We all have that place. It’s where, when the going gets tough, we hunker down and bust out that paper due in T-minus five hours, or cram as much information into our already occupied coffee-addicted minds. You could say that where you study is almost as important as what you’re studying. Which is why we at 4E have taken the time to prepare a little cheat sheet — not about econ or orgo but about what your favorite study place really says about you.

Lau 2

You thrive in chaos. You’re a social butterfly; however, you also suffer from extreme FOMO. You spend your weeknights sitting around a table with all of your best buds and the perfect view of the Midnight Mug line. You are either a connoisseur in the art of procrastinating or you really can get work done in the middle of pure pandemonium. If you are the latter, I commend you — you’ll survive in this world.

 

Hariri (MSB)

You are most likely in the business school or you just want to snag that booth. You are practical because you know that there will always be an outlet and it will usually be fairly quiet, until that 9 p.m. graduate business class gets out. You have an appreciation for the finer things as you soak up the light and airy ambiance of the MSB. Not to mention the bathrooms are pretty sweet.

Copley Lawn

You love the outdoors and want to embrace all and any good weather that comes along. You may suffer from seasonal depression, but when that first beautiful spring day hits campus, you’re the first one to snag the sunniest spot. You thrive while sprawled out on your plush blanket that you brought to college specifically for these lawn days. You are usually laid-back and carefree until the end of November and you see your precious lawn dusted with a layer of snow. Sorry if these next few months are a little rough for you.

 

Saxbys

You like some human interaction, but you are not willing to endure the chaos that ensues on Lau 2. You are rather sophisticated, people-watching, sipping your coffee and listening to your fantastic Spotify playlist. You like to feel cozy and independent as you rigorously study on the tiny table that can barely fit your laptop, coffee and notebook.

Regents

If you study in Regents you are either one or both of these things: Someone who has an established relationship with the Einstein’s swiper lady (because you take a bagel break more often than you should and need to be in close proximity to food), and/or a pre-med or science major and you only see the outside world from this building’s beautiful formula-filled windows. If you are one of the latter, you may feel at times that your social life is lacking, but have no fear. All of that studying will pay off … well, hopefully.

This campus is filled with an endless array of study spots that do not include the confines of your room. In the last few weeks of this semester, go explore these spots and at least try to study.

Gifs: giphy.com; Photo: payette.com

The Atlantic Calls Lau ‘Soul-Crushing,’ Confirms Everything We Already Knew

lau

Lau is “soul-crushing.” Or at least according to an article in The Atlantic out today looking at the role that architecture plays on mental state. As any of us who have spent an all-nighter in the concrete fortress can confirm, this is definitely true.

The article, which looks at the positive effects of architecture on the brain, uses Lau as an example of just the type of architecture that doesn’t produce these outcomes.

At a particular moment during every tour of Georgetown’s campus, it becomes necessary for the student guide to acknowledge the singular blight in an otherwise idyllic environment.  

“Lauinger Library was designed to be a modern abstraction of Healy Hall”: a sentence that inevitably trails off with an apologetic shrug, inviting the crowd to arrive at their own conclusions about how well it turned out. Much of the student population would likely agree that the library’s menacing figure on the quad is nothing short of soul-crushing. New research conducted by a team of architects and neuroscientists suggests that architecture may indeed affect mental states, although they choose to focus on the positive.

These researchers, led by Catholic U. professor Julio Bermudez, looked at the effect that “contemplative architecture” (basically the opposite of Lau, I think) has on the brain, finding a positive impact. And even if they didn’t use Lau in their study, I think we all know what they would have found if they had.

So the next time you’re in Lau and you feel yourself dying a bit inside, know you’re not alone — and there’s even research to back you up.

Photo: Alexander Brown/The Hoya

Ideal Alternatives to Studying

ExamsIt’s been over a week since the last day of classes, and finals studying is in full force. The prospect of two weeks on campus with no classes seemed like it might be fun. There would be so much time for activities – if only that pesky thing called “studying” were not in the way of you and holiday-spirited revelry with friends. After that sentiment fled, Lau became a time-warping alternate universe of notecards, Word documents and cabin fever. However, we know that Hoyas have other things on their minds than studying.

We asked what you’d rather do than study for exams … and here’s what Hoyas have to say:

  1. Sleeping
  2. Running a marathon, because it would be less painful
  3. Playing with my pet bird
  4. Watching Elf
  5. Drinking
  6. Traveling back in time to actually pay attention in class the first time around
  7. Stealing the Healy clock hands while everyone is too busy on Lau 2 to notice
  8. Watching TV
  9. Apparently reading Thought Catalog, since I’ve been doing that for the last hour
  10. Studying something I’m more interested in
  11. Lying next to a crackling fire with hot cocoa while watching all 8 Harry Potter movies
  12. Cuddling and listening to Christmas music
  13. Figuring out how much wood a woodchuck actually would chuck
  14. Squash
  15. I’m not really sure it’s appropriate
  16. Dancing
  17. Watching a movie
  18. Christina Hendricks
  19. Watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on my bed with my dog and a hot piece o’ ‘za
  20. Playing soccer
  21. Watching the entire series of New Girl online. Oh wait, that IS what I’m doing.
  22. Tanning on the beach in San Diego
  23. Flying a blimp!
  24. WATCHING MRS. DOUBTFIRE, DUH!
  25. Eating a banana Nutella crepe
  26. Literally anything
  27. Be on a tennis court, racquet in one hand, beer in the other
  28. Kissin’ my dog on the lips
  29. SITTING ANYWHERE THAT DOESN’T HAVE FLUORESCENT LIGHTING
  30. Going to the premiere of the new Hobbit movie solely for Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug
  31. Eating a wheel of cheese, but the wheel has lots of different sections and each one is a different kind of cheese
  32. Snapchatting the entire song “Royals” line by line while dressed as Lorde
  33. Walking through Costco eating free samples while drinking a slushie
  34. (This response was deemed too explicit to print on 4E)
  35. Babysitting Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s kids
  36. At home, on my couch, watching the latest episode of Homeland with a warm slice of pizza from my fave pizza restaurant
  37. Making a gingerbread house
  38. Flossing my teeth
  39. Hiking in the Adirondacks and eating PB&Js and trail mix with my two favorite people in the world
  40. Taking my chances with a poisonous frog
  41. Laying in bed covered in puppies
  42. Wrestling a great white shark
  43. Catching the rats in Darnall with a loincloth and a small hunting spear
  44. Scouring the city for knives to donate to Leo’s
  45. Petting little Jack … for hours

So there you have it. That’s everything you’d rather be doing than studying for finals… Now get back to studying for finals.

Photo: Pauleannareid.com

DCTC: Capitol Hill

DCTC Capitol HillWelcome back to the Hilltop, Hoyas! (Is it too late to say that now that it’s fall? Sorry, I’m not sorry.) We 4E-ers know that you have missed the D.C. Travel Companion more than an oreo Wisey’s cookie after a full day of classes. For those of you who are new to Georgetown or to 4E (which is a travesty), DCTC helps Georgetown students navigate and investigate DC affordably. Today we will be exploring Capitol Hill and all it has to offer (other than the Government, of course)!

Getting to the Metro:

The easiest way to get to Capitol Hill is to take the Metro from Rosslyn. If it isn’t Sunday, you can take the GUTS bus directly to the station (it’s free). If you are not on campus, or if it is Sunday, you can take the Circulator Bus to Rosslyn. The bus stops at 33rd and M Street and costs one dollar with exact change (or you can use a SmarTrip card). Another great option, if it is a nice day, is to walk across the Key Bridge to Rosslyn. It’s about a 20 minute walk from the front gates – fresh air, anyone?

Once at the Rosslyn Metro station

Cost $3.00 with a paper fare card and $2.00 with a SmarTrip card. Make sure to check the times and beware of rush hour traffic/ prices.

Route 1 To get to Capitol Hill take the Blue line towards Largo Town Center and get off at the Capitol South stop (estimated travel time is 18 minutes).

Route 2 You can also take the Orange line from Rosslyn to get to Capitol Hill. Make sure to take the train that is heading towards New Carrollton and, once again, get off at the Capitol South stop (estimated travel time is 16 minutes).

Now that you are at Capitol South, it is time to explore! Here are some of the sites that we love and you will too:

We, the Pizza – 305 Pennsylvania Ave. SE – Other than having an awesome name, this place also has some of the best pizza in the area. Be sure to try one of its homemade sodas and enjoy your food at its upstairs seating area! It is open Monday — Saturday, 11 a.m. — 11 p.m. but readers beware: they’re closed on Sundays.

Good Stuff Eatery – 303 Pennsylvania Ave. SE – If you aren’t in the mood for pizza, how about a burger? This is the original location and it is located right next to We, the Pizza. Be sure to try the Black & White Milkshake – it is delicious!

Eastern Market – 225 7th Street SE – Eastern Market is one of the most popular flea markets in D.C. It is open every Sunday from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. This market has tons of stores and kiosks with various goods, and it is also surrounded by restaurants that serve fantastic brunches (Monmartre at 327 7th Street SE is a personal favorite). Make sure to either get to the area early or make reservations, because the restaurants can get quite busy when the weather is nice!

Library of Congress – 101 Independence Ave. SE – Sometimes Lau just doesn’t cut it, and we here at 4E understand that. The Library of Congress is a great option for an alternative study location! Library cards are free, but you need to register in person at the Reader Registration Station (Room LM 140 in the Madison Building). When you are there, the staff will verify your information, take your ID photo, ask you for a signature and then you will be ready to go. You can also preregister online (you still have to verify your information in person).

Enjoy Capitol Hill, Hoyas, and make sure to do some people watching!

Off-Campus Study Spotlight

off campus

While we do attend a particularly beautiful university that bears an eerie, yet exciting resemblance to Harry Potter’s magical wonderland of a school, life on the Hilltop can become overwhelming scarily fast. Trust me, freshmen, during midterms and finals, Lau will transform into a demonic chamber comparable to prison or the psychotic-ridden desert in The Hills Have Eyes and you will want to flee for your life.

Luckily for you, I have a solution to said madness: various nearby oases where you can escape the clutter of homework and people to complete your studies efficiently. While I hate to give away my secret spots, I have faith that my advice will help you all find relaxing places to get those A’s you’re paying $50,000+ a year for. The added benefit of this is that completing your work efficiently will mean freeing up weekend time for shenanigans.

1. Malmaison (3401 K St, NW) You’ll feel like you’ve entered a trendy hipster café in the lower east side of Manhattan where James Franco may be lurking in the corner drinking straight black coffee. My time here is usually divided between eating their particularly herby and fresh tomato and mozzarella panini and watching the strange array of fitness freaks and artsy designers that are denizens to this teashop.

2. Marvelous Market (3217 P St, NW) I’m shocked more people haven’t discovered this place. They have the best sandwiches I’ve ever had in my entire life, there’s an ice cream store next door, and they’ve got a little seating area that really typifies an ideal study environment.

3. Library of Congress (101 Independence Ave, SE) Yes, this one’s for the more avid nerds of Georgetown, but I can promise you firsthand that you will get so much more work done in an hour than you ever thought possible. You’ll find yourself feeling rather smart, efficient and official.

4. Starbucks (3050 K St, NW) This Starbucks – located right next to the Potomac and what in winter is an ice skating rink – is the perfect place to do work. Enjoy a chai, walk by the water, and feel completely secluded from the chaos that can sometimes suffuse our wonderful school.

So relax, Hoyas. Check out some of my favorite study spots and feel free to share yours in the comments below!

Photo: Shannon Walsh/The Hoya