Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

Hot, Smart and Ranked for It

hot smart and rankedWe all think we are flawless, myself included. Just walking around this campus during spring is like walking through a J. Crew catalog (and yes, the 4E wants to check you all out).

There are few top universities that can pull off the studious and fabulous lifestyle. A recent ranking by Business Insider narrowed that search down to 25, but all we really care about is who is in the final four.

That is, the final four colleges with the hottest and smartest student bodies!

Coming in at #4 is the one and only

GEORGETOWN!

hair-touch

You’re welcome.

As much as I would love to take all the credit, it’s all of you that make us such a desirable and fabulous school. And M Street. And Lau. (Read: Never Lau.)

Why is Georgetown so high up on this list?

1. We are really good at ratios. Whether it is in Calc class or on O Street, Georgetown students always know what the right numbers are. So the hot to smart ratio? That’s child’s play.

2. We spend so many hours in Lau. Sometimes we even go there at 2 a.m. on Saturday night just to walk around.

3. We spend a good amount of time at Yates. We often pretend to do our reading there too.

4. We are always out and about. The catwalk between the ICC and Lau 2 is really refreshing.

5. When it comes down to it, Georgetown always does it better.

And for those schools ahead of us? Y’all better watch your backs. Because (if you didn’t know) spring has just sprung, and you’ve seen nothing yet.

Photo: ww.bet.com

DC? More like IQ!

Well, my fellow Hoyas, if you didn’t like living in D.C.  enough already, here’s one more reason why the experience is so great: we’re smart! (Psh. Like we didn’t know it already!) According to Fast Company, Washington, D.C. is the 6th smartest city in North America!

The rankings were based on what is called a “Smart Cities Wheel” (see here), containing six key components and three key drivers for each component. These included focuses on People, Economy, Environment, Government, Living, and Mobility.
Boston topped the list, followed by San Francisco and Seattle.

According to Fast Company writer, Boyd Cohen, “D.C. is one of the top cities in the U.S. for transit use and e-governance … [and] has been a pioneer in the adoption of new technology, including the launch of a private cloud in 2010 and the early use of mashups to become a “Geographic Information System (GIS) model city.”

D.C. was also ranked in the top five for the three of the Smart Cities Wheel components: economy, governance, and people.

We at The Fourth Edition like to think that Georgetown’s brilliant students bumped D.C. further along the list.

Stay smart, Hoyas!

Photo: houndbound.com

DC Comes Out on Top: Best-Educated City

D.C. was recently voted Best-Educated City in the nation! (as if we were surprised) Combine that with Georgetown’s number 1 win for best college town and number 3rd finish for best college sex life, good ole District of Columbia is surely making us proud.

The study was conducted by William Yu, an economist at UCLA, and was based on a bunch of educational statistics that are pretty boring but added up to D.C.’s landslide victory of 140.5 points. The points were gathered by a fancy schmancy “city human capital index”, which measured the average amount of schooling students acquire in that particular city.

With all the data and newfound glory that comes along with the title, numerous people are starting to side with notion that D.C. is one of the best places to live… and, let’s be real, who can blame that logic? As a student living in D.C., it only seems natural that the city has captured all of these coveted titles. Way to go, DC! Now, not only are we sexually active and a beautiful place to live, we’re also super smart!

Oh and in case you were interested…Boston finished second while San Francisco rounded out the top 3. (Take that, Harvard)

Photo: http://www.nahu.org/meetings/capitol/2011/07WashingtonDC.jpg