4E’s Thanksgiving Countdown

It doesn’t seem valid to get excited year after year about a holiday that in truth commemorates our subjugation of native peoples and destructive colonial ways, but let me tell you: I am excited for Thanksgiving break.

You may ask me, “What could be so exciting about five days in central New Jersey?” Well, first of all, New Jersey is the most underrated state. Second of all, a brief reprieve from midterms is exactly what I need to restore my sanity.

Please join me on a ~journey~ to cozy, fall-time feels. Whether you’re travelling home for Thanksgiving or not, these activities should allow you to start healing that part of your soul that a semester-long midterm season has sucked out of you.

First, play this song for maximum reading experience.

Day 1: Nov. 5

Divine your Thanksgiving horoscope. What’s in the stars for you this year? If you’re going home, will you finally hook up with your high school crush? Will you get taken to the hospital with an irreversible food coma? Only one way to find out…

Day 2: Nov. 6

Go vote. If you haven’t voted yet, please motivate yourself with the thought of Great-Grandma Pat’s wrath when you tell her you abused the right she fought so hard for back when they only showered like once a week or whatever. This way, when your family members start arguing at the dinner table, you’ll be able to validate the opinions you’ve honed in all of those SFS classes by proving that you’re an active participant in our democracy.

Day 3: Nov. 7

Plan out your plate. Everyone knows that going into the holiday meal without an attack plan is a fool’s errand. Use the below image to prevent future discomfort and maximize future deliciousness.

Image result for thanksgiving plate outline

Day 4: Nov. 8

Get the 411 on those crazy relatives you’re afraid to see. Call your mom. You should probably do this anyway, but for your own safety, ask her to give you an update about Aunt Linda’s “situation” so you’re not blindsided on the big day.

Day 5: Nov. 9

Start filling up your shopping carts. Two weeks before Black Friday, go against your better judgment and let those natural consumer instincts run wild. I’ve never actually shopped on Black Friday before, but I like to imagine that filling up online shopping carts is just as good.

Day 6: Nov. 10

Check out those fall colors. Get out of your musty apartment for once and take a walk somewhere in the city — it’s actually very beautiful here and we tend to take that for granted too often.

Day 7: Nov. 11

It’s cuffing season. Have you found your big/little spoon yet? It’s getting pretty chilly outside; you should probably get on that.

Day 8: Nov. 12

Convince your dad that a turducken is a bad idea. Tell him the hard truth: 55 is too old to spice things up, especially with the multi-meat equivalent of the Human Centipede. Like him, sometimes oldies are goodies — no more of this millennial nonsense.

Day 9: Nov. 13

Start packing. I’m serious. If you do it this far in advance, you’ll avoid that last-minute packing nightmare in which you somehow only bring home booty shorts, a turtleneck and over-the-knee boots.

Day 10: Nov. 14

Do something ~cute~ with your friends. Make a pie. Drink some chai. Discuss the best moisturizing strategies for preventing dry winter skin (non-spon but pls check out this account @dewydudes). Put aside homework for a sec and appreciate the value of good, wholesome fun.

Day 11: Nov. 15

Come up with a fake major to get your grandparents off your back. They don’t understand that you’re not wasting their money; you’re just finding yourself. So, pose as a Future Government Official/Investment Person to get out of hot water with the old folks.

Day 12: Nov. 16

Learn how to play football (?). I’m very thankful that my family does not maintain this tradition, but if yours does, it’s probably time to tighten up that spiral. Who knows, maybe you’ll get concussed and won’t have to take any more exams!

Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born,” 2018 (colorized).

Day 13: Nov. 17

Thank your roommate(s). Whether you’re best friends or mere living partners, be grateful to this person for putting up with you. This way, your inability to wash dishes and sexiling habits won’t weigh heavy on your conscience over the break.

Day 14: Nov. 18

Friendsgiving! Get together with all of your friends for one last hurrah before going your separate ways. A group dinner feat. Leo’s turkey and mashed potatoes never looked so cute.

Day 15: Nov. 19

Watch the twurkey dance. This is a good distraction that will get you hype for the holiday.

Day 16: Nov. 20

What? Sorry. I’m already gone. If possible, remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the Georgetown environment. This could be done in the form of a really long nap, ripping up a blue book — you name it.

Hoya Saxa! I’m grateful for you <3

Sources: festival-collection.com, giphy.com, youtube.com, people.com

Halloween Costumes for Hoyas From Every School

Fellow Hoyas, prepare yourselves. Spooky szn is descending upon us — and no, I’m not referring to the sudden ubiquity of dead rodents on campus.

That’s right: It’s almost Halloween, and if you’re not interested in frantically scouring the clearance bins of every store on M Street the day before ~Halloweekend~ begins, it’s time to start thinking. Luckily, you have us lovely folks at 4E here to guide you in picking the right costume to impress that cutie from “Problem of God.”

1. For the MSBro:

You’ve been wearing stiff suits every day, Birding from your dorm to the MSB to recruitment events and investment banking job interviews like a maniac. It’s time to let loose, Brad! Shed that Brooks Brothers jacket, kick off your Gucci loafers and go a little crazy. Hugh Hefner is the perfect costume for you this Halloween — comfortable and relaxed, but still on brand.

image
This could be you, Chad!

What you’ll need for this costume: A silk robe and preferably some gray hair spray. The pipe optional, but respect that Hugh would never Juul.

2. For the NHS-er:

THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, NHS. You have the one thing no other school at Georgetown has: scrubs. Go as your favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character — AKA literally anyone but Izzie — and carry around some lollipops for bonus points. Just be careful not to be too convincing in your costume, or you’ll become the de facto GERMS dispatcher of the night, holding back your friends’ hair near the bushes of Henle Village.

You, breaking it down at the Henle in total and complete comfort as all your friends complain about their costumes being uncomfortable.
When your friend slips on some soda and thinks they broke their ankle, you can put those freshman bio class #skillz to use and tell them to rally!

What you’ll need: scrubs, maybe some lollipops and your charming self.

3. For the SFS-er:

You need the world to know both that you’re in the SFS and that you are ~politically conscious.~ You don’t just get CNN notifications on your phone — you listen to podcasts and read think-pieces as you run from “Map of the Modern World” to “I-Trade” (both of which are SFS core requirements, which the SFS has a lot of, which you have to take because you’re…in the SFS). That’s why for Halloween you should go as the anonymous New York Times Trump op-ed! Intelligence and worldliness with a little bit of ~mystery~ is what you’re all about, and this is the perfect costume to show the world what ya got — and leave them wanting more.

That's REALLY reaching! Online retailer Yandy is selling a 'sexy anonymous op-ed' costume

What you’ll need: This costume exactly (and for people to know you’re in the SFS. That’s the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, or SFS for short).

4. The College Kid:

While all your friends in other schools at Georgetown talk about their focus and their requirements and how their school is ~different,~ you have opted for a liberal arts education and greater breadth of majors/paths of study. You can’t be put in a box. Some might even say you … Can’t Be Tamed.

To capture the true variety of the College, grab a few pals from the largest of the undergraduate schools here on the Hilltop, and go as Miley Cyrus through the ages. The theater kid can embrace Miley’s performative versatility and go as Hannah Montana, while your JUPS major friend can be this new hippie Miley who meditates and enjoys her ~greens.~ There’s something for everyone!

What you’ll need: A few friends, some bleach to dye your hair and a readiness to stick your tongue out in every picture.

With these suggestions in mind, go forth and conquer those pre-Halloween costume-picking scaries! And if you’re really pressed and need a scary costume ASAP, write “70k” on a shirt and go as the scariest thing of them all: our tuition. Happy Hoya-ween!

Sources: giphy.com, esquire.com, dailymail.co.uk, savers.com

Cries for Help: Carvings in Lau Cubicles

As a nearly 230-year-old institution, Georgetown is host to secrets that current students can hardly fathom.

Hopefully no basilisks tho 🐍 #snakesofgeorgetown

Some of these secrets date back to the school’s founding. Messages etched by early students into the stone walls of Healy, White-Gravenor and Dahlgren — “Thou art fairer than a principled Jesuit,” “Thy perfume sweetens the scent of the stankiest Leo’s dish return,” etc. — have faded over time.

Actual footage of the Healy clock ringing every 15 minutes.

However, contemporary graffiti is alive and well in some of the newer and more utilized buildings on campus. Most anonymous messages, in fact, are located in none other than Lauinger Library, a hotspot of ~brutal~ nervous breakdowns on campus.

Lauinger? I barely know her.

Please join me as I reveal the most honest and repulsive thoughts of Georgetown students: those scrawled on the inside of Lau cubicles and Walsh restrooms in desperate acts of self-expression.

Me as I plumb Lau’s dusty depths. Also, if you don’t know what movie this gif is from, I can’t be friends with you.

Georgetown Confessions

It’s amazing that the president found time to helicopter over to Georgetown and vandalize our library! Spelling errors aside, this is 100% a rule to live by. #FightAgainstTheCapitalistCorp

This was found covering approximately 4 feet of vertical space on the lower level of Lau. I mean … say it loud, say it proud??? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️

Breaking down gender barriers one act of vandalism at a time.

You’ve got to admit, coming out and claiming the Walsh fourth floor women’s bathroom as one of your favorite spots on campus is a bold move. Kudos to this brave soul.

Slackademia

This one is honestly too relevant right now. I love how this ~poet~ backed up some linguistics major’s revelation with a quintessentially Georgetown story of academic humiliation.

4E was tipped off that this one was drawn by a struggling freshman who started their “Problem of God” paper the night before it was due and realized that they were supposed to “conduct a survey.” Yikes.

Quarter-Life Crises

If Lana Del Rey went to Georgetown, these would be the lyrics to her No. 1 song. FYI, if unlike this songwriter, the middle stall in the Walsh third floor bathroom isn’t really your vibe, check out these other spots on campus where you can bawl your eyes out.

This picture illustrates what happens when SFSers get too into their Neo-Sovietism class and then realize that they have to make themselves marketable to consulting firms for summer internships.

Classic Georgetown Elitism

Okay, Brock, that’s only because your dad donated a swimming pool there! Get off your high horse, please.

I mean… George Washington probably would have been a Hoya. #justsayin

Hoyas Reveal Their Ugly Side

This statement is unacceptable. Georgetown students are practically defined by their constant belittlement of campus dining and love for mainstream hip-hop. Do better, Hoyas.

Now that you’ve seen some of the innermost thoughts of Georgetown students, I encourage you to look around the next time you’re struggling to write a paper in Lau at 2 a.m. You may find inspiring messages, crude drawings or desperate cries for help.

Either way, the notes left behind by past Hoyas are an important part of Georgetown’s history that current students can and should bond over.

Did you know that Ben Gates holds a degree in American history from Georgetown? #NotableAlum

Best of luck with finals, everyone! Keep scribblin’ away.

Note: I’d like to apologize to all of the people I weirded out while sneaking around Lau and Walsh taking pictures.

Sources: Giphy, Facebook (Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens)

Bill Clinton: A True Hoya

As you may have heard, Georgetown’s very own prodigal son is returning home to the Hilltop this week. And as cynical as we usually are here at 4E, this is actually a pretty cool thing. After all, since the events of the past year have forced us to acknowledge that Eric Trump, Steve Bannon, and Paul Manafort are technically alumni, we need to celebrate the Hoyas who didn’t collude with Russia have made a positive impact in the world now more than ever.

But as you prepare to camp outside Gaston to hear his speech, many of you who were born in the late-90s may be asking yourselves, “Who is Bill Clinton?” We know from eavesdropping on Blue and Gray tours that he certainly attended Georgetown, but is he really a Hoya? If he were a student today, would he regularly attend Jersey Night? Would he mourn the loss of Quick Pita? Would he post in the meme group? And more importantly, would his memes be dank?  To try to answer some of these pressing questions, we here at 4E briefly skimmed carefully read and took diligent notes on Bill Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, and came to the following conclusion:

Bill Clinton is a true Hoya.

Take a look at our reasoning below:

1. He Loves Wisey’s

The Quote: “At Wisemiller’s Deli, just across Thirty-sixth Street from the Walsh building where I had most of my classes, I got coffee and two donuts for twenty cents every morning

Our Analysis: Like all good Hoyas, Bill Clinton both loves Wisey’s and eats there way too much. He definitely would have voted for the Hot Chick/Chicken Madness ticket back in the infamous GUSA election of 2016, and is surely a strong supporter of our unofficial school mascot, The Wisey’s Rat™. So the next time you feel guilty about eating Wisey’s cookies for breakfast as you walk in 15 minutes late to your class on the fourth floor of Walsh because the elevator was taking forever, just remember that you will probably grow up to be the President of the United States.

When you call your order in and the wait is only 10 minutes

2. He Never Leaves Campus

The Quote:In my first two years, I rarely ventured beyond the confines of the University and its immediate surroundings”

Our Analysis: For a true Hoya, Burleith is as exotic as it gets. Yes, just like a vast majority of Hoyas, Bill Clinton fell victim to the Georgetown Bubble. And yes, we know D.C. is a world-class city full of renowned food, art, and culture, but the whole Metro system is confusing and not a lot of places take GoCard. True Hoyas stick to complaining about the lack of options at Leo’s and only venture beyond M street once a semester for Instagram-related purposes. Also “immediate surroundings” is definitely code for Chi Di. We’ll see you there on Thursday, Bill. Hopefully you have a good ID though, they’ve been pretty tough this year.

When someone suggests you should “explore D.C. more”

3. He Embraces Our “Sleep When You’re Dead” Culture

The Quote: “My most memorable class sophomore year was Professor Walter Giles’s U.S. Constitution and Government… By the time I got to his class I had embraced my lifelong affinity for sleep deprivation and had developed the sometimes embarrassing habit of falling asleep for five or ten minutes of class”

Our Analysis: Same, Bill Clinton. Same. Does it even qualify as a Georgetown class if more than half its students are awake at any given time? Whether it’s in a lecture hall, on Healy Lawn, or in the middle of a professor’s office hours (it happened once), falling asleep at inappropriate times is what we Hoyas do best. Honestly, Bill Clinton, props for doing this well in an era before you could try to stay awake by scrolling through memes on Facebook while the professor thinks you’re taking notes. Side note to any of my professors who accidentally clicked on this article: I love your class! Keep up the good work!

When the professor makes eye contact during the lecture and you have to act like you’re deep in thought over whatever they just said

4. He Has a Capitol Hill Internship

The Quote: On interning for Arkansas Senator William Fulbright, “It was easy to fit the job into my daily schedule, partly because in junior year only five courses were required instead of six, partly because some classes started as early as 7 a.m.”

Our Analysis: If you hadn’t already guessed, Bill Clinton was in the SFS. This quote confirms it. I can practically hear this quote telling me he’s a STIA major and that he has to go study for MAP. Even today, when Bill Clinton meets new people, I guarantee you that he finds some way to mention the SFS. This guy is a Hoya.

When it’s been five minutes and no one has asked about your foreign service background yet

5. He Loves The Tombs

The Quote:My favorite haunts in Georgetown were the Tombs, a beer hall in a cellar beneath the 1789 restaurant, where most of the students went for beer and burgers

Our Analysis: Bill Clinton’s Tombs Night was definitely lit. But not too lit, like where you had to call GERMS and the whole night was ruined. It was just the right level of lit, like where everybody danced to “In Da Club” by 50 Cent when the clock hit midnight, and then Bill Clinton got a great Instagram pic of his forehead being stamped by the Tombs bouncer. Every Hoya since John Carrol has made some of their greatest memories at the Tombs. Need we say more?

Actual photo of Bill Clinton getting his forehead stamped on his Tombs Night. On an unrelated note, yes, I am available for freelance photoshop jobs. Serious inquiries only.

So there you have it: Bill Clinton is a Georgetown Hoya. Our diligent research has definitively proved it. We hope you all have fun accidentally falling asleep learning a lot at his speech on Monday- and huge props to the team over at #GUPolitics for making this happen! No disrespect to the time you got Martin O’Malley to play his guitar in McShain Lounge, but this is definitely much cooler than that.

Sources: My Life by Bill Clinton, Tombs.com, Facebook.com, giphy.com, Georgetowndc.com, georgetown.edu

The Seven Personalities At Recruiting Events

Believe it or not, recruiting for internships in banking for the summer of 2018 is already starting. Yes, while some of us can barely find jobs (or pretty much anything to do) for this summer, the aspiring bankers of the Class of 2019 are already on the hunt for the summer internships that will, hopefully, turn into post-graduation jobs. In other news, here’s an accurate picture of my current status for next summer:

Fortunately for many students, the search for summer 2018 internships doesn’t start until a reasonable point sometime in the late fall or early spring. However, I actually attended a recruiting session and had the opportunity to really take a look at the people who surrounded me. For those of you who have never been to a recruiting event, here are some of the people you should expect to encounter.

1. The Classic MSBro
Majors: Finance and Accounting.
Minors: Econ, Math and networking like nobody’s business.

His first word was “money” and his eyes have been on Goldman Sachs from when he first researched the starting salaries of bankers (that is, the age of six).  A true go-getter, don’t expect him to take his eyes off the presenter. Also, don’t even think about trying to talk to him; he’s in the zone, which only has room for himself and the recruiters. He’ll be the first to jump out of his seat to talk to the professionals and tout his summer internship in his dad’s friend’s wife’s office downtown. Afterward, he’ll ask you what you thought of the information session. If you’re the non-finance type like me, you’ll probably look something like this:

2. The Classic MSB*tch
Majors: Finance and Accounting
Minor: Slaying the business professional game.

Straightened hair, polished glasses and an outfit that’s sharp AF, she’ll stroll into the information session and cast her eyes across the room as she surveys the competition. Expect to feel small and judged in her presence. On the prowl for that internship, she poses a threat to the MSBros in the room so you might to be able to detect some ~tension~. Fully aware of her prominence and intimidation, she owns it and takes a seat in the front row on the opposite side of the aisle from the MSBro. The MSB*tch serves as a clear reminder that the business world is not just for men.

3. College Crossovers
Major: Government and/or English

You might find yourself sitting next to someone who happens to be in the College. If they’re a Government and/or English major, then what are they doing at an information session for banking? The MSBros and MSB*tches glare in their direction, and you know they are surely staring down the competition. You discover that although your new acquaintance takes interest in non-business affairs, he/she has resigned himself/herself to working in the world of finance for the purpose of “making bank” (#getit?). Although you pity them for giving up on their major, you also admire them for their determination to fiscally succeed in life after Georgetown. Other reasons for their decision on banking may include following their family into the industry, to which you relate, so you decide to keep your seat next to your new friend.

4. The SFS Hardos
Majors: International Economics or International Political Economy

You may notice conversations taking place in multiple foreign languages. There is no doubt that some, if not most, of these students had better résumés as high school freshmen than you will as a Georgetown senior. They probably already have plans to climb the corporate hierarchy and totally revamp the company’s policies in the first two years after graduation. Meanwhile, you’re just hoping to not be fired and maybe even have some form of a significant other at that point in your life. Somehow, their career in banking relates to their ultimate life goals of becoming Secretary-General of the U.N. and/or President of the United States (after being CEO of the bank, of course).

5. The Unsure
Major: Undecided, duh.

Here is where you find yourself (or maybe that’s just me). You heard through the weekly email update from your respective school that a bank is coming to Georgetown that employs several alumni from your school. You do some research and find out that there’s actually something within the bank relevant to your major! You show up and quickly realize that this information session was geared more toward the financial-minded students, but you stay put out of respect and curiosity. You’ve never learned this much about the finance world because your Econ professor can’t keep your attention for more than five minutes, so you might as well try to pay attention now!

6. The Returning Students

Sitting in the front of the event, there are probably a few younger-looking professionals who happen to be students that have already signed with the company for a post-graduation job. Slightly uncomfortable yet also humored by the number of underclassmen scrambling for their former positions, these students amble around the room while the go-getters rush up to them and ask them about their favorite and least favorite parts of the company. These students are probably hoping to GTFO and head to Tombs ASAP.

7. Apathetic Wanders
Major: Mystery

As the last of the students file in as the session starts, a bright color catches your eye in the back. A single student, a lone ranger wanders in wearing a big, fat Hawaiian shirt. Completing the outfit with shorts and flip flops, he/she takes the absolute last spot in the room and leans against the wall. As soon as the presentation ends and the floor opens up for networking, your hero disappears from sight as he/she books it.

Happy recruiting season, Hoyas! May the odds be ever in your favor (and not that of the person sitting next to you).

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usa network.com

Will Angelina Jolie teach at Georgetown?

Angelina Jolie Teaching at Gtown

Last week, the London School of Economics appointed four new visiting professors for their Centre for Women, Peace and Security program. One of those appointed was none other than screen legend/humanitarian Angelina Jolie! While this is a wonderful addition to LSE’s program and just one more thing Jolie can check off her already overflowing resume, we want to know when she will make it across the pond to Georgetown.

We love you too!

So 4E is here to give you the scoop! Could Jolie’s next teaching gig be on the Hilltop? In a statement to The Hoya, the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security emphasized their goal to collaborate with their sister program at LSE, which includes possibly bringing Jolie and Former UK Foreign Secretary William Hague – another of the center’s new professors – to Georgetown. In fact, GIWPS Executive Director Melanie Verveer reportedly met with Jolie during a recent trip to London.

Here is the institute’s full statement below:

The Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security has enthusiastically supported the creation of the LSE Centre for Women, Peace and Security. We are ‘ sister’ programs on either side of the Atlantic with complementary missions – to study and highlight the roles of women in peace and security worldwide. We have been collaborating and are in discussions about how to forge a deeper partnership, given our unique strengths and shared goals. We look forward to, at some point, welcoming Angelina Jolie to Georgetown, and to welcoming former UK Foreign Secretary Hague back to The hilltop. In 2014, the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security awarded Foreign Secretary Hague with the Hillary Rodham Clinton Award for Advancing Women in Peace and Security for his dedicated leadership to prevent and respond to sexual and gender-based violence in conflict.”

While LSE may have Angelina Jolie for now, 4E thought it would be fun to see who else would make an awesome visiting professor at Georgetown.

Michael Scott: MGMT-200 Managerial Communication

 

Kanye West:  ECON-002 Econ Principles Macro

Project 1: How to get out of $53 million in personal debt?

Beyonce: WRIT-015 Writing and Culture 

Because when life gives you lemons…

 

Leslie Knope: GOVT-237 Education/Politics/Policymaking

You will only get this if you watch Parks and Rec, but we are ready, Leslie Knope!

 

In all seriousness, we hope Georgetown keeps collaborating to bring the best and brightest minds to campus.  4E is here to keep you up to speed!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/1PjZSYY

ABC’s of the Hilltop

Banner - DictionaryWelcome current and future Hoyas alike! As you may know or will soon find out, here at Georgetown, we speak in code. Conversations are permeated by acronyms, phrases, and nicknames known only to Georgetown students, and are expected to be understood by all Hoyas on campus. All in all, it can be a bit overwhelming to try to keep up with at first. Lucky for you, 4E is here with the first edition of the Georgetown Dictionary to help you navigate these tricky waters, be it on your GAAP weekend, during New Student Orientation, or late in your junior year, too embarrassed to ask where Maguire Hall is.

Let’s go.

The Schools

1. “MSB“- The McDonough School of Business. “MSB” also is colloquially used as a location. You don’t go to the  Rafik Hariri Building, where the “McDonough School of Business holds classes; you go to the “MSB.” You can see how this gets confusing.

2. “SFS“- The Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service. Sadly, the school=building logic of the MSB does not follow in the SFS, as the Walsh Building located outside the front gates on 36th Street is not called the “SFS.” The SFS is the school Bill Clinton was in when he studied here.

And those SFSers will never let you forget that!

3. “NHS“- School of Nursing & Health Studies. Repeat after me: not every student in the NHS is a nurse. Non-nursing majors in the NHS are adamant about this. Keep it in mind!

4. “The College“- This is Georgetown College, the largest of the four schools for Georgetown undergrad. Unlike the other three schools, it is not known by its acronym “GC.” Don’t make this mistake. I tell you from experience.

Places to Know

  1. Yates“- Yates Field House, aka, the gym on campus. It has a smell of stale sweat and chlorine. You’ll love it! In fact, the administration knows you’ll love it so much that they’ll include your gym membership to Yates in your tuition! Yahoo!

    2. “Lau“- Lauinger Library. It’s the giant grey slab of cement on the south side of campus. You may have first heard of Lau during NSO where they’ll promote “Club Lau” as one of the nighttime activities. Without giving anything away, I’ll tell you that you may meet your best friend at Club Lau (I did) and/or you may not ever be able to look at the third floor quiet room the same way ever again (or maybe that’s just me).

    3. “Wisey’s“- Some hotshot with an older brother who graduated from Georgetown 10 years ago will try to impress you this GAAP weekend by saying he’s “skipping the catered lunch in Gaston and heading to Wisey’s for a Hot Chick.”
    Let’s clear this up. “Wisey’s” is Wisemiller’s Grocery & Deli, found on 36th Street across from the Walsh building. This is not to be confused with the other “Wisey’s” (a sister take-out location) on Wisconsin Ave., which is known as “Healthy Wisey’s.” Wisey’s is home to a smorgasbord of great sandwiches, but is best know for two game-winners: the Hot Chick and the Chicken Madness. These sandwiches are so well-known at Georgetown that they had their own ballot on this year’s GUSA election. I wish I were joking.

    4. “Tombs“- Has a Georgetown student’s experience even begun without a meal at The Tombs? I don’t think so. The Tombs is a Hilltop classic, an dimly lit American style restaurant you will frequent as a freshman for Saturday lunch, as a sophomore for birthday dinners, as a junior for a hungover Sunday brunch, and as a senior for Trivia Night and 99 Days of Tombs.

Sayings & Phrases

  1. “NARP”- Non-Athletic Regular Person. Were you on a varsity sport high school? Are you a marathoner? Or are you one of those people who have you never swung a bat, ran a lap, or kicked a soccer ball? Congratulations! You are all the same. If you are not a Varsity athlete at Georgetown, you are a NARP. Case closed.
  2. an athlete“- An athlete is anyone who is employed by a student of Georgetown University and is additionally a member of a Varsity sports team. If you are “an athlete,” you have special privileges on campus, like getting away with wearing a full sweatsuit to class, and showing off the exclusive Blue & Gray Nike sneakers around campus.
  3. Hoya Saxa“- This is the official cheer of Georgetown University. It literally translates to “What Rocks” from its Latin roots. Show off this fun fact at your next party with this banner joke:
    “Hey friend, do you know what “Hoya Saxa” translates to?”
    “No, you dork, what?”
    “Exactly!”
    Also, it’s always “Hoya Saxa!” and never, ever, EVER “What Rocks!” Don’t do the translation. Just don’t.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, nowikinow.com

The Change Georgetown DOESN’T Need

Banner - Science SFSIt was recently revealed through The Hoya that the administrators of SFS are considering changes to the core curriculum. This idea may seem great for SFSers due to the excessive amount of Econ requirements and inflexibility required by the SFS core. While reading the article, however, my eyes zeroed in on just one phrase:

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 4.09.21 PM

This phrase was met with a variety of reactions:

Shock, probably the most immediate reaction.

Despair, a reaction probably met by many non-STIA majors (including me).

Vomiting, which is what I wanted to do upon reading those words.

The acronym “SFS” is formally thought to mean “School of Foreign Service,” but we all know that it really means “Safe from Science.” With no required science classes in the core curriculum, the SFS has stood as a safe haven for those who love the social sciences, but despise the natural sciences. It builds on certain majors offered in the College (Economics, Government, Political Economy, etc.) while eliminating certain important classes, i.e. science. Moreover, the SFS core stands as, arguably, the most rigorous core curriculum among those at Georgetown (the MSB’s got nothin’ on us). Just when you thought that it could not get worse, the word science comes into play.

As bad as it sounds, some people might actually prefer to keep the four required economics classes instead of taking on a science class. That’s how ~bad~ the situation is with science and SFSers. I am personally against this possible change because, as an IPOL major, I believe it would make more sense to focus on courses that involve history and international relations…not physics or chemistry. Part of my hatred of science stems from the fact that during my senior year of high school, I received an 8/30 on an AP Physics test. In fact, I received multiple test scores below 65% in that class. My teacher was noticeably out to murder me unfriendly to me, and all of my friends thought it was hilarious. Let’s just say I didn’t receive the Physics Medallion at graduation. #Whatever.

Science belongs in the College or NHS, not SFS! While changes to the core curriculum are much needed in certain areas (cough-cough-ECONOMICS-cough), there are some changes that are definitely NOT needed. There’s a reason science has been required by the core; the fewer, the proud(?), the STIA-majors stand together as an example of ways to incorporate science into their SFS experience. The administration does not have to condemn all of us to the torture that is Bio Lab and Chem Recitation. A possible solution to this potential crisis is to let students decide between science and another subject, depending on their field of study. If this change does indeed occur, we may be facing a bigger crisis than the closing of Epi on Sunday nights. Due to the blatant violation of the SFStatus Quo, I encourage all Georgetown students to join the trend:

#keepSFSsafe.

Photos/Gifs: thehoya.com, giphy.com, cliparts.co

Which Georgetown School Are You?

og_healy_hallFeeling isolated? No one understands you? Struggling with your sense of self and purpose? Not the smartest kid anymore? Don’t worry, this has nothing to do with your overinflated sense of self being confronted with the real world for the first time. You’re just in the wrong school! Take this easy quiz to find out with 110% accuracy which school you should transfer into, thereby fixing all your problems.

Photos: georgetown.edu

The Night Before the Map Exam

mapfinal

‘Twas the night before the Map final, when all through the Hilltop,
Nervous SFS freshmen were studying, though they wished they could stop.
Their Sporcle quizzes were aced, all filled out carefully,
From Armenia with Yerevan, to Rome in Italy.

College, NHS and MSB kids were nestled, all snug in their beds,
No visions of wind patterns danced in their heads.
And you with your Atlas and I with my notes,
Were readying our brains for whatever exam JRA wrote.

When down on Healy Lawn there arose such a clatter,
I rushed from Lau to see what was the matter.
Out to the lawn I flew like a flash,
And breathlessly asked if this was about Map class.

When what to my exhausted eyes did appear,
Well, I don’t go to lecture, but I think that’s the professor standing here.
In a downpour like the summer monsoons, his capitals they came,
And he shouted with glee as he called them by name:

“Now Belize has Belmopan, now Hungary has Budapest,
On Angola with Luanda, on Romania with Bucharest!
From Russia’s long history to Greece’s financial descent,
You must know it all – er, at least 70 percent!”

So away to the files of lecture captures I flew,
To learn geographical features and geopolitics, too.
As I drew on my maps, my mind was spinning around –
We have to know rivers and seas, too? Are there no bounds?

Ukrainian elections ran through my head,
And I realized that tonight I wouldn’t be going to bed.
Reardon-Anderson, meanwhile, went straight to his work.
“What time is it in Manama when it’s 7:00 in New York?”

“In the United States South, how do voting trends go?”
“In which direction do the Trade Winds blow?”
“What are the similarities in the conflicts in Nigeria and Sudan?”
“Why does the US need to maintain relations with Kazakhstan?”

And he displayed iClicker questions up on a screen,
Then showed us the right answers, lit up in green.
Then he left Healy lawn, and went toward Red Square,
I stood all alone, feeling so unprepared.

But I heard him exclaim, as he walked to the ICC,
“The subtropical highs are north and south of the equator at 30 degrees!”

Photos: theodora.com