The Seven Standard Snapchats

Snapchat-logo-e1406582518655If you aren’t a fan of Snapchat, reevaluate your life decisions. No other means of communication can get the job done. What job, you may ask? It’s whatever you want it to be. There are hundreds of awesome ways to share your life with other people on Snapchat (should I get paid for saying this?).

Since we at 4E are connoisseurs of all things “snap” (except for SNAPS – we don’t like them), we compiled a list of seven typical Snapchats you might get:

Team Snapchat Snaps

gecko sigh

These are literally the worst. First off, it’s so frustrating when you get a notification thinking someone real snapped you and then you realize you have no friends. Second, they are actually quite weird. Most of the time, its Team Snapchat wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa all in one message. To the .0000001% of people that celebrate all three of those, cheers to you. And finally, they always seem to come at the worst timing, like when you’re waiting for someone to snap you back…

Reply Snaps

The dreaded reply snaps. These remind me of those, “IF YOU READ THIS AND DON’T SEND IT TO 10 FRIENDS A LOVED ONE WILL DIE AT MIDNIGHT TOMORROW” things that used to go around on Facebook back in middle school. If you don’t send a reply back to the person doing what they asked you to do, you will be forever shamed. I’ve been trapped into reply nose-picks, reply chugs and reply trust falls.

Bestie Snaps

Nobody besides your best friends can send you ridiculous Snapchats at any time of day. They may be pointless, even foolish (think embarrassing enough to be screen-shotted and used as blackmail), but they sure are entertaining. They always make you laugh and are often inside jokes.

Toilet Snaps

He's Starting Early
He’s Starting Young

There are many appropriate times to send a Snapchat, while on the toilet is not ever usually one of them. I get it, you also poop. It’s funny, because if someone were to open the door accidentally while you were own the throne, you would absolutely flip a s*** because the bathroom is a sacred place. Yet, you’re more than willing to send a snap to a friend of yourself on the toilet? These snaps will never make sense.

Food Porn Snaps

While these are usually in the form of a Snapstory, they are so unnecessary. We all eat, too. I don’t care how many pieces of pumpkin spiced French toast you ate at Farmers Fishers Bakers (queue basic biddies google searching to see if this is a real thing), there is no need for you to remind me how bad Leo’s is by sending me a picture of your food. I’m just a poor, hungry college student trying to survive on ramen and all of the extra food I take when I use a meal swipe at Einstein’s.

Drunken Snaps

You get a snap during the wee hours of the morning from that friend that you’d rather not admit is one of your best friends on Snapchat. Nevertheless, you’re lying in your bed on a lazy Sunday morning afternoon and decide to open it up. It’s a video of them not realizing they were taking a video because they thought they were trying to take a picture. You decide to shoot them a text: “Hey, you good? I’m so hung-over that Leo’s doesn’t sound half bad.”

Play-by-Play Snaps

blackout scheduled schumer

It must be a big deal when (insert name) goes out on the weekends because they send you a snaps updating you on their location, activity and amount of drinks consumed eleven times before you can say “GERMS”. Just remember, Snapchat, like everything else, should only be used in moderation.

Happy Snapping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

My Easter in Selfies

isanybunnyhomeAs we all come back to campus from Easter break, I’m sure everyone will have plenty of stories to tell about all the cool things they did and the fun they had. However, some of us (myself included) opted to stay on campus for the weekend rather than go home. Why, you might ask? I asked myself that every day for the five-day break. So for those of you who were off enjoying home-cooked meals, dyeing eggs and taking advantage of the warm weather, I thought I’d provide a little insight into how the other half lives. We may have been all alone this week, without even Leo’s food to help drown our sorrows, but we did celebrate Easter in all its glory. And what better way to capture a super-fun solo Easter than cell phone self-portraits? So here, my friends, is a chronicle of my Easter break, in selfies.

Like all good breaks, I started off watching an abundance of Netflix:

IMG_1368 Don’t pretend to judge me. I know you were catching up on all of your shows this week too, only I didn’t have my parents around to nag me about being so lazy. I was also given Easter candy by my parents: IMG_1348 … which I proceeded to shove in my face. Again, I know you all did this too. Don’t pretend you don’t love eating those chocolate bunnies and pink Peeps. IMG_1346 I got a visit from the Easter Bunny!! IMG_1351 And yes, I just happened to be in a CVS at the time. … The Easter Bunny also left me eggs in surprising places: IMG_1369 Only the eggs I hid for myself weren’t dyed because I have no food dye … and I may have stolen this egg from my common room. Later, I ate a hearty Easter brunch: IMG_1366 My meals this week consisted of peanut butter, apples, peanut butter, bananas, peanut butter and, you guessed it, peanut butter. With Leo’s and the Corp closed, my meager sustenance came from previous Grab-and-Go swipes. On Sunday I went to church: IMG_1364 (1) OK, fine, that’s a lie — I took a selfie outside Dahlgren. But I did think about going to church … and that’s got to count for something, right? All in all, my week consisted mostly of naps, Netflix and no one to share in the Easter spirit. After being abandoned on campus for five days, I can’t wait for class to start again (just kidding). But seriously, I’m definitely going home for break next year. IMG_1367Alright, I may have exaggerated a little. Georgetown wasn’t really a desolate ghost town. Although there weren’t many students around, there were plenty of adults and prospective students who gave me weird looks as I took selfies around campus.

Photos: Sydney Bolling/The Hoya

The Ultimate Georgetown Day Guide

gudayadviceThe bloggers, as you may suspect, know a thing or two about merry-making and debauchery. So when it comes to Georgetown Day, you can rely on us for all the advice you need. We’ve seen it all and we’ve been feeling generous recently, so we’re about to lay our knowledge down for you.

We put our heads together to compile a few rules to help you make the most of your favorite darty.

Don’t waste meal swipes in the days leading up to Georgetown Day — you’ll need as many swipes as possible on our beloved holiday. Addendum: If you run out of swipes, vending machines will become your best friends.

Don’t pre-game the pre-game.

Don’t try to make breakfast after you pre-game.

Don’t ever turn down a bagel.

Don’t forget to wear sunscreen. You will get sunburned, and it will hurt just as bad as — if not worse than — your hangover the next day.

Do not nap if you won’t be able to wake up and rally.

Don’t assume your friend means you should drink more alcohol and nothing else when she tells you to hydrate.

Do not black out at Sweetgreen.

Don’t accidentally enter someone’s Nevils when you’re looking for a party at another person’s Nevils. The people in the Nevils will not be expecting you and they will get angry when you enter their apartment and go into their kitchen without permission.

Do not sit on a curb on Prospect Street for a prolonged period of time. DPS will tell you to leave and it will be a struggle to orient yourself and get up off the curb.

Do not eat a marble from a Wisey’s vase. It will be dusty.

Do not steal someone’s L.L. Bean boot.

Do not send mad pics of yourself passed out on Copley Lawn covered in Mai Thai takeout unless you understand that people will most definitely screenshot those selfies and spread them via social media.

Try to (yay, positivity!) remember as much of the day as possible because a lot of fun things are going on and a lot of memz can be made!

Finally, DO NOT forget to check out all of 4E’s coverage of the Hilltop’s Georgetown Day shenanigans, whether on Twitter @thehoya4e or on our website blog.thehoya.com.

Selfie Madness: D.C. Edition

SelfiezWhether a constant ritual every weekend when out with friends or a quick duck face Snapchat, everyone has taken a selfie at some point.

Like the frequently played new song “#SELFIE” suggests, the art of selfie taking requires many hard decisions, the least of which include proper lighting and the right angle. Here on the Hilltop, we pride ourselves on our social media savy, and now, according to InTheCapital, Washington, D.C, has been recognized as the 25th “Selfiest” city in the world.

Out of 459 cities, D.C. falls right between Helsinki, Finland, and Cardiff, Great Britain. From the database, the list calculated that for every 100,00 people in D.C., 66 are selfie-takers.

With its famous monuments, great dining locations and chance encounters with local politicians and celebrities, D.C.’s selfie mania comes at no surprise. Even Malia and Sasha understand the need for a selfie. I mean, how else is one supposed to remember her dad’s inauguration?

enhanced-buzz-3014-1386006746-4To see the rest of the top “selfiest” cities in the world, click here. But first, let’s take a selfie.

Photos: buzzfeed.com 

Congratulations! You Won a Contest I Made Up.

Slideshow:
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You thought I forgot, didn’t you? I don’t forget. I don’t mess around with competitions. Below, the five winners, and after those, the honorable mentions.

1. The Concealed Identity Selfie.

Five words for you: D.C. Superior Court Community Service. Although their identity is hidden on this unique photoshop job he/she did, you get the idea. Whoever you are, you rock for finding the time to take a selfie when doing community service on a D.C. highway. Way to find the humor in a serious thing. I like you.

2. The Classic (or Angst-y Teen) Selfie.

The self-take is really an art to be mastered, as showcased in this submission. Can’t you almost hear the Simple Plan playing in his room? Maybe too shy to submit them himself, it must be nice to know that you have such a kind friend living in VCE who really appreciates your talent and submitted them to the blog so you could have a chance at fame. Also, this may be a good time for an internet safety lesson: Always be careful with who you send pictures to over the internet, kids — you never know where they’ll show up, am I right?

3. The “Reasons Why You Regret Taking a Snapchat” Selfie.

Busted. It’s really a flaw in the design of SnapChat that you can take a screenshot of the disappearing picture, but as Forrest Gump says, it happens. And it happened that night during finals when you were bored enough to take this. Great work — it literally doesn’t even look like you. And I agree, middle parts are so much fun, Addie!

4. The Landmark Selfie.

So good, so iconic, so active. You Georgetown student, you.

5. The “Good Use of Another Object/Person” Selfie.

Like I said, good use of another object in your selfie. It’s like you’re actually with Wiz Khalifa instead of taking pictures of his picture taped above your bed, you know? Also, the facial expression. Are you guys related? Cousins? Second cousins? Brothers? So curious.

So, congrats. If you see these winners around campus, give ’em a high five. Or don’t if they’re strangers. Or do. #yolo