Surviving the Sunday Scaries

Surviving the Sunday Scaries

Have a fun, crazy weekend? Feel like you need another one just to recuperate from your weekend? Are you currently in bed scooping handfuls of Nutella into your mouth as you procrastinate on your first course reading with Netflix’s “Stranger Things” stressing about your upcoming week?

If this is your current status, then you’re suffering from what 4E likes to call the Sunday Scaries. According to Urban Dictionary, the Sunday Scaries is defined as “the dreadful feeling on a Sunday morning after a long hard week of boozing … regret,the shakes, having no money left in your wallet and spending the day hugging the porcelain throne are all common symptoms.”

Yes, fellow Hoyas, the Sunday Scaries is very much a real epidemic that must be addressed and 4E is here to do just that. Please read the following if you or a loved one are seeking help.

  1. Drink more! No no, I am not talking about alcohol here! Get your shakey self over to Wisey’s and make sure to buy some Gatorade or anything with electrolytes. And while you’re at it, buy yourself a bacon, egg and cheese too.
  2. No Ragrets! Even though you may be regretting the previous two days and how you spent that precious time, live in the now. You only live once, so get yourself together and revel in your current period of relative freedom.
  3. Treat yo self! You have probably put your body through some pretty rough things the past 48 hours, so get yourself a good meal to put some nutrients into your body. Hit up Mai Thai, or if you want to be really healthy, splurge on Sweetgreen. 
  4. Don’t look at your bank account! You’re not ready for this sad, sad realization, so save the “checking your bank statement episode of horror” for Monday.
  5. Get your sh** together! Now that you’re somewhat put together, spend some time cranking out that assignment you forgot was due tomorrow.

With these five potentially difficult but very feasible steps, you can overcome that heart wrenching feeling called the Sunday Scaries. 4E recommends that you do have a a jar of nutella at the ready for those inevitable moments of weakness.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2bHbDZE

Horrors from the Intern Desk

internship horror stories

As August approaches, 4E reached out to some interning Hoyas to see how everyone’s summer has been going. What we found terrified us. Turns out that the internships that we slaved all year round to earn came with a few… quirks.
Jack Miller

Read all about our favorite intern horror stories below!

Note: Stories have been edited for grammar only. Anonymity has been granted to all contributors in the effort to preserve hard-earned reputations and dignity upon their return to the Hilltop in the fall. 

  1. Just like in the middle school cafeteria, your seating choice may make or break you.
    “The guy who sits at the desk behind me clips his nails once a week. I have to put headphones in to drown out the noise.”
  2. Hard Truth of Growing Up: Sometimes, mom won’t be right.
    “On my first day at my internship, my mom convinced me to not bring lunch because ‘Everyone will go out together!’ So I didn’t. I ended up sitting in a secluded room separate from the group of 25 interns. I decided to be brave and strolled right in there. Being my friendly self, I asked if anyone wanted to grab lunch. There was no response – not even a ‘Maybe tomorrow.’ Felt like a f****** moron.”
  3. The fashion world was, in fact, accurately depicted in “The Devil Wears Prada.”
    “My email is “intern1″ because in fashion, you don’t get a name.”
  4. When you’re an intern, you are everyone’s last priority.
    “One day, both of my bosses didn’t show up until 3 p.m. because they went to a meeting. This would have been fine, except that they didn’t tell me. I did nothing for six hours.”
  5. Intensive labor is NOT out of the question.
    “One of my jobs is to ensure that there is a pitcher of lemon water on my boss’ desk every morning. I cut and peel the lemons myself. He only accepts fresh squeezed.”
  6. You better ~lose yourself~
    “Someone in my office who I don’t know just calls me “Intern”. When I finally met him, I accidentally said “Hi, I’m Intern” instead of my name.”
  7. Not everyone is, ahem, politically correct. 
    “I [a strong independent woman] got a “You can’t be in finance! You must be on the marketing team!” last week. I can’t decide if that’s a compliment, sexual harassment or gender discrimination.”
  8. And finally, no one is safe from the refrigerator rascals of the world. 
    “Someone ate my lunch last week. I was very sad.”
    We all know what happened next…

We hope the rest of you have much better internship stories to tell this fall!

Gifs/Images: giphy.com, Death Cab for Cutie, http://bit.ly/29DldO5

The Top 10 Halloween Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Halloween-Scary-Wallpaper-2014Well, Halloweekend is quickly approaching, a time when you will reach both preak blood sugar and, most likely, blood alcohol content.

We all want a Halloweekend side bae, but finding that special person is difficult. Yes, there will be plenty of skeletons and witches, but you will most likely be unimpressed by their non-Georgetown themed costumes. We all know that a good side bae is one with a creative costume, like a sexy cat.

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While you could tell her how much her whiskers accentuate her cheekbones for hours, she will, hopefully, not be impressed and you will need to come up with your next move.

Well friends, the 4E is here for you. As everyone knows, asking someone to Netflix and Chill is the most sure-fire way to gain their favor. In the spirit of the holiday, we offer you a list of movie suggestions that are sure to both make you seem highly cultured, and make your beloved cling to you in fright.

The Top 10 Halloween Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard Of:

Ranked in order of increasing spookiness

1. Clue: This 1985 cult classic, based on the eponymous board game, is funny, campy and has enough double entendres to get your Netflix and Chill session started off right.

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Spooky Rating: 1 Pumpkin- Not at all spooky, despite the multiple murders.

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2. Rubber: A telekinetic tire rolls around killing people. Stylish and weirdly unsettling, this one will make you give that spare tire a second glance.

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Spooky Rating: 1 Pumpkin and 1 Ghost – In the words of the IMBD parents guide for this movie, “lots of humans and animals get blown the f*ck up.”

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3. A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night: An Iranian Vampire Western. If that alone won’t get you enough hipster movie cred, it’s also in black and white with subtitles. It’s a romance too, so you know, that helps.

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Spooky Rating: 3 Pumpkins – Black and white is spooky. So are vampires.

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4. It Follows: Imagine hooking up with someone, only to find out that you’re now being followed by a murderous spirit. And now imagine that the only way to get rid of this spirit is to pass it on to someone else. Scary, am I right?

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Spooky Rating: 2 Ghosts – There are some jump scares, and a spooky old woman.

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5. Let the Right One In: Another vampire romance, this time with kids. Bonus points if you watch the original Swedish version.

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Spooky Rating: 2 Ghosts and 1 Skull – Lots of gore. Lots of blood.

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6. Teeth: This girl has teeth in, um, the worst place possible. Gives a whole new meaning to the word “maneater.”

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Spooky Rating: 1 Screaming face and 1 Ghost – Not super scary, but as I’m sure you can imagine, there’s some injury to body parts that might make half of the population uncomfortable.

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*Trigger Warning: This movie includes scenes of sexual assault*

7. Rosemary’s Baby: Roman Polanski’s 1968 horror classic makes me scared to ever buy an apartment. Plus: Young Mia Farrow. Minus: The actual devil. Bonus points if you call this one overrated, and can name at least one other Polanski movie you “think is better.”

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Spooky Rating: 2 Skulls – Incredibly unsettling without relying on jump scares or special effects.

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8. Titicut Follies: A 1967 documentary that unflinchingly shows the conditions inside a Massachusetts hospital for the criminally insane. Hint: they’re not great. Fun Fact: It has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Word of warning though, don’t share this fact unless you actually know what that means.

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Spooky Rating: 4 Skulls – It’s scary because it’s real.

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9. The Babadook: You remember those books you would have your parents read to you over and over again when you were a kid? Imagine one of those tries to kill you.

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Spooky Rating: 5 Skulls – Guaranteed to make your intended cling to you in fear. May also give you a permanent fear of books and children, which is slightly less desirable.

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10. Antichrist: Full disclosure: I watched this movie in the middle of the day on my laptop and, for 70% of it, I had my hands over my eyes. Which is a shame because, as much as it will f*ck you up, this film is absolutely gorgeous. The realistic scenes of graphic genital mutilation can be a bit of a mood killer, so I wouldn’t recommend this movie for a first date.

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Spooky Rating: 2 Screaming Faces, 1 Devil, 4 Ghosts, and 3 Skulls – We had to make a new rating category for this movie because it is the absolute definition of 2spooky.

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From all of us at the 4E, have fun, be careful and please don’t die this Halloweekend. Or do. It’s up to you.

Photos/Gifs: blogspot.com, tumblr.com, giphy.com, impawards.com, designbolt.com

Halloween Plans: On Campus Horror

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As Halloweekend approaches are you panicking for plans? Is Halloween more than an excuse to ~be somebody else~ and party for you? Are you’re still struggling to plan how you will get your cultured holiday dose of horror? Fear not! 4E knows the on-campus horror scenes that will allow you to find the fright you’re looking for!

Halloween in Georgetown

Here’s our official review on the top 10 terrifying places on campus:

1. The Club Storage Room. Not only is it obscurely located overlooking the drop off garage, but rumor has it one of the cages is completely empty with the exception of three items. A coach without legs, a singular Orgo Study Guide and a Ouija board — we’ll leave it to you to put that puzzle together.

2. The Leavey Tower. Not only is it decked out in “birds chirping maniacally” graffiti, but it is also home to the locked gate where you can go no further but behind the board into the wall if you so choose to be confronted by the gaping ten story drop (use caution; this is not a joke).

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3. The tunnels. (Check my avatar for proof.) They’re freaky. They’re everywhere. They’re full of pipes. Are we really a Hilltop? Or are we the product of built up underground tunnels? We say the latter.

4. The parking garages. Honestly, I can’t think of many more things that are scarier than being in the depths of a dark parking garage, without cell service or half a clue where the nearest exit is.

5. Jack the Bulldog’s Grave. Does it exist? Is he wrapped in a gold casket? Is he stuffed and looming over the highest bidding alum? We may never know, but the mystery will surely haunt us.

6. The Exorcist steps. You could fall! That’s all there is to it.

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7. Myaccess. The grades, the transcripts, dealing with that health insurance survey…

8. The hospital. Ever stepped just the hop skip and a jump past Darnall to enter the hospital pharmacy only to realize you’ve entered the real world? It’s quite frightful seeing that the Georgetown college campus bubble will one day send us into the world of medical bills and strangers.

9. The Copley Crypt. Go at midnight. Bring a mirror and spin around three times.

10. The Healy attic. Legend has it those dormers up there are home to a forever locked room where the exorcisms used to happen. What fun.

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images: google images, freetoursbyfoot.com

Hoya Horrors on the Hilltop

Things That Terrify HoyasHalloween is upon us! From horror movies to scary costumes, we all seek the thrills and chills that come with the season. Nonetheless, there are a few terrors better left untouched, as these sorts of horrors are, without a doubt, found in every Hoya’s worst nightmares. These nightmares start as early as the moment you receive your dorm assignment, and permeate the lives of Hoyas throughout their time on campus. In honor of Halloween, here’s a list of the most horrible Hoya Horrors:

“It’s like an island out here!”

You’ve gotten through the dreaded CHARMS process and picked your roommate who will obvi be your BFF for the next four years. You choose who’s bringing the decorative posters, who’s got the fridge and whether you’re going to coordinate bedspreads or let each of your creative minds run wild with that decision. Now the only thing left is your dorm assignment. You tear open the dorm assignment letter with only one repeating thought in mind, “Not Darnall, not Darnall, not Darnall.” But it is. You force yourself to look at the words on the page. You see that dreaded dorm printed on the paper and you know this must either be a sick joke or an awful omen.

“But it’s Thursday!”

Thursday and chicken fingers have become as linked on this campus as peanut butter and jelly, Jesuits and cura personalis, 4E and happiness. By now, you’ve gotten established enough in the college life to know that this is the light at the end of the sometimes abysmal Leo’s tunnel. So imagine the panic if Leo’s didn’t serve chicken fingers on Thursday. And let’s not even mention the time when they actually switched the chicken finger brand!

“I got what grade on my test?”

We here at Georgetown tend to live up to our “work hard, play hard” reputation, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s quite heavy on the “work hard” aspect this time of year. Hoya horror number 3? That the all-nighter on Lau 5 with 6 empty cups of espresso and your 11-inch stack of note cards actually didn’t pay off. Don’t worry, Lau goblins, there’s no way this nightmare will come true and a B isn’t the end of the world, as some might think.

“Who even took that picture?!”

Finally! A chance to let loose and escape the throes of midterm season: you head out with your friends on a Saturday night. The next morning, you log onto Facebook to see a picture of you and your DFMO partner up close and personal broadcasted on your newsfeed for the world to see. Untag! Untag! Untag!

“What is this world coming to?”

The customs and traditions infused in the daily life of a Hoya are the aspects of Georgetown life that make it so meaningful and special for its students. Could you imagine if these traditions were disposed of or violated? What if we lost our late-night eatery or could no longer hang out with our mascot whom we watched grow as a puppy? Oh wait … R.I.P. Tuscany. I miss you J.J.

With all of these frightening possibilities creeping into our lives on the Hilltop, I see why we instead turn our attention to horror movies and haunted houses as distractions. Happy Halloween, Hoyas! And remember, the Exorcist steps aren’t the only place you might run into a nightmare around here.

Photo: Panoptikal, UMN.edu