The 5 People You Met at the Student Activities Fair

SAC FairEarlier today, Leo’s was bombarded by overeager Hoyas and thousands of quarter-sized flyers. You guessed it, it was our favorite event of the year: the Student Activities Fair. We here at 4E made sure to keep our eyes open and make a list of those Student Activities Fair stereotypes that we all know and maybe love. Here are are the 5 people you met at the Student Activities Fair today:

1. The Overachiever Beaver We all know this person, the one who went to every table and signed up for every club. While we applaud you for trying, there is a point where that got a little out of hand. At least you will always have enough random cups to satisfy all your needs.

tumblr_inline_mlfsg1JFAI1r79k322. The Not-So-Coherent Participants Waking up and attending the Student Activities Fair was not their cup of tea this morning. Despite the obstacles, these people did get themselves there … in whatever shape they may have been in. While they might have been dying on the inside, they were still forcing you to sign up for their shockingly specific club.

girl-sleeping-funny-wallpaper

3. The Student Activities Fair Cheaters These are the people that drive me up the wall. They come to the Student Activities Fair every year, walk around and steal all the free stuff. These people do not even try to pretend to be interested in what you are saying. Who do they think they are? ‘Cause we all know that the best part about Student Activities Fair is being able to keep all the leftover goodies (aka the candy). But no. The Cheaters ate it all.

Fo Free Gif

4. The Relentless Flier-ers. No matter your reason for going to the Student Activities Fair, it is literally impossible to get out of Leo’s without at least one flier. The flier-ers attacked you and didn’t let you leave. (Full disclosure: One of those flier-ers was probably someone on The Hoya. Sorry not sorry.) 

Pitch Perfect 75. You! Whether you were there to find a new hobby (cough, cough, remember to apply to the blog by January 17th) or just for the free stuff, the Student Activities Fair is a great time to realize all the ways you can get involved on the Hilltop! I hope you all had fun and took advantage of the people watching. It’s always the best part.

Gifs: Tumblr; Pictures: hercampus, isaactan.net, Wikipedia

Front Page Fakeout: Georgetown University Suspends All Student Activities

Screen Shot 2013-01-14 at 9.53.50 PM

Notice: Front Page Fakeout is a parody post in which a 4E writer takes a story from the front page of The Hoya and puts an exaggerated and ENTIRELY false spin on it. The Front Page Fakeout uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.

 

After numerous fraternities, sororities and other unofficial Georgetown groups weren’t allowed to table inside of the Student Activities (SAC) Fair on Saturday, Georgetown University officials have decided to terminate all student clubs, groups, and activities until further notice.

According to an anonymous source in University President John J. DeGioia’s office: “The chaos at Saturday’s SAC Fair approached a level [comparable to] a Walmart full of overeager Christmas shoppers on Black Friday. Students were talking at an above ‘indoor voice’ level. As a necessary consequence to these unprecedented actions, we have decided to permanently halt student participation in campus activities.”

A detailed memo released by the Office of the Provost explains the timetable of activity shutdown: “All activities must cease by January 20, 2013, and all documents correlating to student groups must be burned, shredded, or tossed into the Potomac in a frantic and unstable manner by that date.” The memo from the provost also threatened that if any clubs are not in compliance with the timetable, former Secretary of State Madeline Albright will quit the faculty and personally burn down the Rafik B. Hariri Building.

Despite the impending stoppage of the more than 200 student groups on campus, students seem to be taking the news in stride. Georgetown University Student Association senator Jane Hoyason even seemed pleased with the activities halt. “To be quite honest, activities aren’t a big part of life here at GU. The students here are some of the laziest, most unsuccessful people in the world. So really, who gives a flyin’ hoot and a half?”