The Hoya’s Bunn Award Winners 2015-2016

Bunn Award Winners

Every May, the Center for Student Engagement gives out 18 Edward B. Bunn Awards for Journalistic Excellence to honor the best of student journalism at Georgetown, covering six categories: news, features, commentary, photo, sports and reviews. This year, The Hoya received 11 Bunn Awards across five categories. Along with The Hoya, other student publications including The Voice, The Independent and The Caravel were also recognized.

Please take a look at The Hoya’s winning pieces for the 2015-2016 school year.

News

1st Place: “Facilities Workers Housed Overnight,” by Owen Eagan
2nd Place: “Demonstrators Address Demands to University,” by Ashwin Puri
3rd Place: “Profiling Claims Close Thread,” by Aly Patcher

Commentary

2nd Place: “The Life of Pebbles,” by Matthew Quallen

Features

1st Place- “A Life Lived Where the Wild Things Are,” by Molly Simio
2nd Place- “Remembering Scalia,” by Kshithij Shrinath

Reviews

1st Place- “This is Acting,” by Jinwoo Chong
2nd Place- “Mockingjay, Part 2,” by Daniel Almeida
3rd Place- “The Life of Pablo,” by Tom Garzillo

Photography

1st Place- “Demonstrators Address Demands to University,” photo by Daniel Smith
2nd Place- “Students Attend Vigil for Paris Attacks,” photo by Naaz Modan

Congratulations to all of those who received an award and for all of those who helped get these pieces to print!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/24AwxLz

Best of Amazon Reviews: Gummy Bears of Death

Banner - Gummy Bears

Gummy bears are nothing more than a harmless treat, right? Wrong. According to many customer reviews for one specific brand of these gelatin treats, Haribo Sugar-Free Bears®, gummy bears are a death sentence. In order to understand the hardships one may experience when consuming them, we at 4E have found the best snippets of the reviews. We hope you find them ~easily digestible~:

rumble

“It all began when I saw an Internet article that pointed me to these reviews, how I rue that day. I laughed for at least an hour at the ridiculous stories; sure they were entertaining, but these so-called “hell-bears” as so many reviewers refer to them couldn’t live up to the hype. So, I naturally did what any curious, doubtful person with a lot of free time on his or her hands would do: I ordered a 5 lb. bag.”

Upon receipt of these non-descript and innocent-looking gummy bears, I formulated my plan: 25 down the hatch every 30 minutes, until I dutifully reached 100. These things tasted good; quite good, actually. I, however, knew the clandestine nature of these bad boys based off the other reviews so I was wary. All was well after the first, second, and third ingestion and then…

“I was out in the city walking under the hot Brazilian afternoon sun, the kind of heat that bears down on you with actual weight. To keep from wilting, I had been downing a lot of water. My stomach’s been churning the last few minutes. The bears aren’t sitting well. I’m aware I’ll need to find a bathroom soon, but no worries.

anticipation

“I immediately started to walk like I was trying to hold a golf ball between both knees. I ran into the nearest store and waddled to the back isle all the time praying I could keep my sphincter closed long enough. About this time I spied another pair of doors marked employees only and pushed my way inside. I saw a small bathroom for employees and went straight to it, all the while a stock boy is trying to stop me and tell me I can’t use it. I stiff arm him from my football days and say in what must have sounded like a demonic voice from hell  ‘I’m sick, back off.’

“To my immediate relief I got the door shut and locked just in time for Mt. St Helen’s to blow.”

“I quit trying to stay hydrated hours ago, everything I drink comes out the other end violently and ceases to stop.”

baby crying

“I spent almost 2 hours, in various positions in, around, and above the toilet, and managed to double the normal monthly water and sewage bill of the store in that same period. I also can attest to the stench. I am not a chemist by education but have concluded that the Taliban-formulated sugar substitute utilized in these bears somehow instantly combines and interacts at the molecular level with existing intestinal contents to create a foul odor that no human, or Lord of the Rings character, would ever have reason to experience. I would suffice it to say that 2 months later my nose hair refuses to grow back and I am unable to discern between the smell of roses and acrid smoke rising from burning oil.”

shaking no

“Thanks to Haribo I have a better understanding of what the meaning of life is, and how to approach success in the face of adversity. I would not say that I’m a better man, but I am better prepared for life’s little games.”

“I am sending a bag of these to every member of Congress to show my deepest gratitude.”

 

Thanks to the reliable customers of Amazon for providing the comic relief! Now you readers of 4E have a great holiday gift idea for that special someone!

 

Photos/Information/Gifs: amazon.com, businessinsider.com, giphy.com

What People Are Saying About Leo’s on Yelp

leozz

Ah, Yelp. What would we do without you? This home of restaurant reviews has become incredibly helpful in answering the age-old “where should we go for dinner?” question that constantly strains relationships and drives up tensions within friend groups.

Recently, we here at 4E discovered that a handful of Yelp reviewers have taken it upon themselves to review the tried-and-true institution that is Leo J. O’Donovan’s Dining Hall. What they wrote might (but probably won’t) surprise you.

The following are real Yelp reviews, by real Yelp reviewers.

Highlight: Leo’s was complimented for its variety

A few reviewers, like Jay T., liked the variety and number of dishes that a diner could choose from at Leo’s.

Jay wrote: “There’s plenty of choices to pick from, including made-to-order food and a wonderful assortment of desserts.”

Well, we all know that Leo’s cookies are to die for, so this makes sense.

Lowlight: Quantity does not equal quality

A lot of comments pointed out that while there is a lot of food at Leo’s, none of it is actually good. Probably the most complimentary review of the food (outside of Jay’s high praise for the desserts) was from from reviewer Danny N.: “Ah the Dining Commons, what can I say, it’s food.”

Highlight: One reviewer gave Leo’s 5 stars!

That’s right, you read correctly: our good friend Jay gave Leo’s a five star review, Who is this man?

Lowlight: The average rating for Leo’s on Yelp is 2 stars.

Sadly, Jay only gave it five stars to attempt to balance out other reviewers.

“I honestly think that Leo’s deserves three stars, but the 5 star rating is just to average out the 1 star and 2 star reviews.”

Highlight: Friendly Staff

Katia G. was one of a few reviewers that gave high praise to the Leo’s staff, saying that, “the people who work [there] are… adorable.”

(Note: Katia also mentioned “waffle-related plans of debauchery.” I’m not sure what exactly that entails, but it was a highlight for me.)

Lowlight: Just about everything else

Unfortunately, Katia’s comment about the staff was the only positive part of her review, and the other reviews were similarly very negative. I figured I would just squeeze them all into one very sad lowlight.

Katia G. wrote: “Two stars because I imagine prison is worse.”

Rebecca Y. claims: “If hell was on Earth, Leo’s would be it.”

And finally, from the very first review all the way back in 2006, John B. theorizes: “No wonder our football team sucks; there’s nothing good for them to eat.”

Most of the reviews are old, so I suggest that, if you feel strongly one way or another, entertain us and write a review. We rate our professors, so why not our dining hall?

Hey, you never know. Maybe they will take some of your suggestions.

Photo: http://aishahfarooki.com/files/gimgs/9_geo-dc-diner.jpg

Ke$ha’s $ophomore $uccess

Normally, we’d leave this sort of thing to our friends at The Guide, but due to the absence of New Releases this week– obviously for other cool content, which you can find here— we’re doing a New Release Music Review of our own. And what could be better to review than Warrior, the sophomore album of our favorite glitter-glam, laser-shooting, unicorn-meets-trashcan diva, Ke$ha?

Ke$ha’s meteoric rise to fame clearly stems from her take-no-prisoners-I’m-a-filthy-hot-mess-Jack-Daniels-rebel-princess persona, combined with her irresistibly grungy pure-pop, power-sounds of albums Animal and re-release Cannibal.

For her second full release, Ke$ha is still the sloppy and shambly pop-rockstar we know and love. Warrior is definitely not a sophomore slump; if anything, it’s just a continuation of the rindonkulous, catchy anthems that made her famous in the first place. After all, why mess with what works?

Warrior still has the infectious made-for-radio choruses of Ke$ha’s early days. (See songs Die Young, C’mon, and Out Alive for dancespiration.) It also has our girl “Ke$h” in the forms where we love her most: rap-yodeling lyrics like “Are you having fun/ With your fugly girlfriend?” in Thinking of You and glitter-rhyming “Gucci” and “coochie” in Crazy Kids.

But underneath all the fairy dust, wine coolers, and rainbows, Warrior shows something far bigger than dance-hits and brushing your teeth with liquor: maturity. No, Ke$ha’s never going to mature socially; she’s forever a rebellious lone wolf in a sparkling space desert. But Warrior shows an interesting artistic maturation: bigger and more-challenging vocals, more glam-rock, and less mindless pop. Songs like Past Lives and Wonderland demonstrate both artistry and versatility, and Ke$ha’s closest thing to– dare we say it– poignancy. But by poignancy, we mean something along the lines of a Brown House (or should I say BroHo?) DFMO.

But personally, we don’t really care, and that’s just what Ke$ha wants. Warrior is all about not caring, sticking it to the man, living in the moment, and being a rockstar. And after listening, we feel the same way. And we have a weird, insatiable urge to dance and snort pixie sticks.

Keep those classy/non-classy hits coming, Ke$ha.

Photo: The Prophet Blog

Your Guide to Georgetown FroYo

Photo via flickr user Carly & Art

by Gillian Evans

Not all froyo is created equal. Georgetown’s frozen dairy options are, in fact, incredibly unequal. When you have a hankering for something cold and sweet (that you can still sort of pretend is healthy), you have to know your way around Georgetown froyo. So we’ve assembled a cheat sheet to help you through the winter months, when clearly all you want is some nice cold frozen yogurt.

Continue reading “Your Guide to Georgetown FroYo”