Holidays and Hurling: A Guide to Your Hangovers

HangoverIt’s safe to say that the last month has been a whirlwind. The end of Thanksgiving break, all those formals, finals, finally coming home all in the holiday season, Christmas and New Year’s Eve has been a lot to handle. Amidst all the chaos, however, you probably still had time to go out and have fun with your friends. One or two nights (or maybe even all of them, if you’re ambitious) between that first study day and your first final probably looked something like this:You probably had an unbelievable night dressed as some holiday-related getup and posted the most basic picture of all time on Instagram. Meanwhile, you might have woken up the morning after and looked something like this:The mad rush to finish the fall semester ~with a bang~ included formals, sweaty Henle parties, trips to Chi Di, trips to Piano Bar (after getting rejected by Chi Di) and just relaxing evenings at Booey’s with friends. Most, if not all, of these experiences had you feeling down in the dumps the next morning or even later that night.

However, the holiday season has taught us at 4E that not all hangovers are the same. Maybe you woke up with just a slight headache one morning, but then the next morning you woke up feeling like death and slightly sick from all the Quick Pita food you had at 3 AM. So while 4E once told you how to survive those day-afters, I have composed a guide to classify what type of hangover you might be feeling as part of the Sunday Scaries.

  1. The Classic Beer Hangover– You wake up with nothing more than a pounding headache and the warm, delightful taste of Natty Light (read: you also smell like this, which makes you feel slightly queasy). This type of hangover probably came from a trip to Booey’s or the aforementioned sweaty Henle party. You’ll typically experience this throughout your time at Georgetown. The positive side of this experience? An easy remedy is to pop a few Advil and head to Leo’s.
  2. Death by Burnett’s– The other side to a typical party: a handle of some flavor of Burnett’s being passed around. Although you know this never ends well, you decide to go with the flow and deal with the consequences later. You wake up feeling ill. You feel sick and achy, but you manage to get up, clean yourself up, and then head out for the day. If you head to Leo’s brunch, this hangover is sure to be a thing of the past.
  3. The Aftereffects of Various Alcohols– The pregame started at 10 and you lasted until 2 AM. You had it all: beer, Burnett’s, some sort of juice and a sip of water at Epi (because that helps with the hangover, right?). Rumor has it there were even a few ~special~ ingredients in the jungle juice you had at that Vil B. Combining the aspects of the last two hangovers, your hangover makes you feel like death. Even after a shower, Advil and eating  the best of Leo’s brunch leaves you feeling hollow and just not your best. Unfortunately, the only way to get through this is to wait it out; by the end of the day, you’ll feel well enough to go out again and repeat the process.
  4. Post-Blackout-Mortem– Similar to the previous topic, you drank a hodgepodge of everything. You went from apartment to apartment to bar to bar, and made the most of every stop. Although you can only remember so much of it, you know you drank a lot since you wake up in the same clothes with some sort of orange liquid staining the front of said clothes. Is it a drink from last night or…? You don’t want to know, and you probably won’t find out unless your friend shows you the pictures that you wish didn’t exist. In the meantime, you focus on getting out of bed, because you can only think about one thing right now and even that takes every ounce of strength. Let’s just say that brushing your teeth, which is supposed to feel good, turns into a nightmare.
  5. Continuing Drunkenness– You wake up NOT HUNGOVER and feel like you’re on top of the world. You congratulate yourself on a job well done and figure what you can do next time to repeat the experience. As you begin to ponder this, however, your head starts to slightly throb until it feels like you’re being repeatedly thrown down the Lau steps. You start to feel sick and realize that your hangover is starting later than expected. Why? Because you were still drunk when you woke up. Although this may seem concerning, have no fear! Your options include accepting defeat or you could just keep it going! Either way you’re going to have a rough day. Nevertheless, you push forward.
  6. …Not Hungover?– Against all odds, you wake up truly not hungover and go about your day per usual. Either you didn’t drink that much or it’s just your lucky day. Although this is rare, it does happen. If it happens to you, congratulations! You can only go downhill from here.

So readers, take this as a guide for when you’re feeling under the weather on those Saturday/Sunday mornings of 2017. Happy New Year and, most importantly, stay responsible!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, viralchakra.com

The Epic of Quick Pita

Banner - CheesyRecently, it was revealed that Quick Pita will be closing at the end of 2016 (on December 31, to be precise). You can imagine the effect this news has had on me, a connoisseur of late-night food. When I heard the news, I had a meltdown comparable to that of a catastrophic nuclear accident.Many of my fellow Quick Pita regulars reacted similarly as I gently broke the news to them. In fact, some of them threatened to transfer. Hogan Lizza (COL ’19), a devout Quick Pita enthusiast, commented, “Georgetown without Quick Pita is like the Cincinnati Zoo without Harambe.” I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. Quick Pita has been around for decades, and life will just not be the same without it.The increase in rent has left Quick Pita with no other choice but to move out. I, for one, plan on venturing there every weekend until they close. I also felt Quick Pita could not go without a proper sendoff. With a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, here is 4E’s tale of the Quick Pita we know and love:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Thinking about my ~classy~ night out on the dance floor,

As I ambled, nearly stopping, I heard a great number of people talking,

Talking of Middle Eastern food, of a place where I had never been before.

“Just a small eatery,” I thought, “hopefully cheaper than Epi because I’m poor.”

Only this, and nothing more.

I looked up this “Quick Pita” and set off for my potential hangover cure.

I hurried down Potomac Street, both hungry and eager to explore,

Eager to learn more about this eatery of Georgetown folklore.

Once I arrived, I took in the striped awning and the hole-in-the-wall that would help me score,

Help me score my freshman 15, something to soon happen, of that I was sure.

Quick Pita, I soon realized, would make me fat, forever more.

 Deep into the VCE darkness returning, I ate my chicken fingers and cheesy fries, still learning,

Learning about this wonderful taste, about to tell my friends they had to come with me.

But they didn’t listen, they said Darnall was too far from this place.

But I knew they’d come with me at some point, on my life I swore.

Eventually they ventured to Quick Pita, and their lives were changed when they walked through the double-doors.

Their hearts were changed–forevermore.

(Such as going to Quick Pita)
Such as going to Quick Pita.

Quick Pita became my solace, a refuge for me, whether or not I was sober.

The chicken fingers, the cheesy fries, the gyro kept me coming back for more.

I got on the scale after finals last year, and yelped in horror.

My parents asked me why I gained so much weight, how I didn’t notice my expanding core,

I told them how I frequently followed the Quick Pita spoor,

The spoor that would haunt my dreams-forevermore.

It was an ordinary night in September this year when I found out what would happen,

What would happen to Quick Pita, my dear Quick Pita, my savior.

Someone’s Snapstory said that Quick Pita was closing and raised a fury among students.

This was just something that I could not ignore.

I marched down to Potomac Street in the middle of a downpour.

I had to confirm that Quick Pita would be open (I couldn’t take not knowing anymore).

I strolled in and walked up to Sammy, the cashier who any Quick Pita regular knows.

I said to him, “Is it true you’re closing? If you say yes, I may start sobbing on the floor.”

He looked at me and said in a sad voice:

“Our landlord raised rent by forty percent, we can pay it no more.”

I replied, “Is there any way at all you can stay open? This is a place I really adore.”

Quoth Sammy, ever so honest, “Nevermore.”I walked home, depressed and defeated.

I told my friends and all acquaintances of the tragedy, the end of the food we all go for.

We all protested, and we in 4E ranted when we heard the news.

The neighborhood took away Rhino, now this? It’s like we’re at war.

But for now, all we can do is sit here and deplore.

For come 2017, Quick Pita’s doors shall be open – nevermore.

And Sammy, never moving, still is sitting, still is sitting,

Sitting at the counter, aimlessly staring at the eccentric, yet lovable, decor.

And his eyes have all the seeming of a good man that is dreaming,

And the fluorescent light over him casts his shadow on the tiled floor;

And the amazing food that we eat after leaving the Brown House dance floor

Shall be from Quick Pita – nevermore!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, yelpcdn.com