The Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret

We all at some point in our college careers, whether once or twice, or every week, experience the Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret. Here at 4E, we put together a step by step guide, complete with informational gifs, to help you better understand your fluctuating feelings of  weekend regret.

1. Sunday: Self-disgust

You wake up Sunday morning feeling crusty and like absolute trash. Your brain is in a haze and you enter a period of self-loathing and overall unproductivity. The two reliable constants of the day are the constant pounding in your head and your repeated mutterings of “Why did I take that last tequila shot?”

2. Monday: Mild Productivity

You may feel some twangs of post-hangover and regret, but you can get some work done. You attend classes and begin to look at assignments but you’re not 100 percent yourself yet.

3. Tuesday: Totally You

You’re feeling yourself. You’re getting work done, feeling on top of your game. This is the upward swing, the peak of the week. You might even be contemplating going to yoga and starting a juice cleanse.

4. Wednesday: Willpower Waning

It’s Hump Day! The week seems to stretch on forever. A couple of your girlfriends are having a wine night. One glass won’t hurt, right? You only have a 9 a.m. But no, you hold out until at least Thursday.

5. Thursday: Thirsty Thoughts

The week sucked. You got a C on that paper you thought you killed. Your roommate broke your blender and now all you want to do is cool off and have a beer. You casually sip on one brewsky because you’re not in the MSB and you have class on Friday.

6. Friday: Freedom

The week is over! You can’t wait to get drinks with friends before heading out for a night of dancing. You can’t even remember your regrets from last Sunday. Who was that loser? Let’s take a shot!

7. Saturday: Sipping Something

This morning you woke up with a hangover, but it’s okay. You’re sleeping until noon, going to brunch, then planning on going out to that new bar anyways. You’ll just sip the hangover away. This is when you enter peak denial phase, as you try to reason away that 10-page paper you have to wake up tomorrow and write!


Sunday: and repeat.


Disclaimer: The seven stages were created based on expert advice from 21-year-old, very legal friends.

Images/gifs: giphy.com, greatist.com

President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Guide to Spotting a Freshman

freshmanFreshman year is described as a “time of transition.” It is almost like a second awkward stage since you have to adjust to a completely different lifestyle (except hopefully you’re rocking a better haircut this time around). Perhaps the biggest “no-no” of being a freshman is looking like a freshman. Here are five obvious ways to spotting a freshman.

1. Still Reps Their High School Gear

Yes, your school might have provided you with endless Nike and Under Armor apparel, but perhaps this is best left at home so that you can pledge your allegiance to your new school: Georgetown University. On the other hand…

2. Wears Head to Toe Georgetown Clothing

We get it, you go here!!!! We know how hard you worked to get here and understandably, this comes with quite a bit of school pride. But maybe just pick the Georgetown sweatshirt and don’t go for the full on HoyaSaxa sweatsuit (including Georgetown hat and socks).

3. Wears a Lanyard with a Key Around Their Neck

Much like an ugly haircut during your awkward stage, this is simply a phase every freshman goes through. Learn from it and move on is all that I can say.

4. Actually Dresses Up for Class

No, this is not the Oscars, nor is it another Kardashian wedding. This is class (i.e. a time to catch up on sleep learn). You do not need to wear the finest clothing in your wardrobe. Please take note that athleisure is a trend people!

5. Only Travel in Packs

Have you ever seen a freshman by himself/herself? Probably not. There is safety in numbers and freshmen simply have not learned the concept of independence. We get it! You’re new here and don’t want to look stupid alone. We promise no one is judging what you’re doing; we’re all too busy worrying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will ever return to social media or if Brad Pitt will get more than a monthly visit with the kids.

If you spot a student with one (or all) of these attributes, you can be certain they are a freshman. But hey, go easy on freshmen: you either are living it or have lived through it. The same way you wouldn’t want 4E to investigate your middle school years, freshmen don’t want to be ostracized by their older, significantly cooler peers.

Gifs: giphy.com

Hilltop Hacks: Productive Procrastination

Banner - Productive ProcrastinationHappy midterm season, Hoyas! While it may be crunch-time in the classroom, you can only run on a double-shot of espresso from Midnight for so long; you should treat yourself! What I’m talking about here is productive procrastination: distractions you can feel good about. The key to productive procrastination is overdoing it and doing it well. 4E is here to show you how.

  1. Did someone accidentally jump into your Village B wall the other night and leave a gaping hole? Well, what better time than now to fix it? File that maintenance request, and while you’re at it, why not explore the other failings of your crumbling apartment? Does the right faucet in the bathroom leak? Is the outlet closest to the couch failing to charge your laptop? And what about that mysterious stain on your couch cushion left over from last year’s occupants? File them all away into the interweb for maintenance to deal with while you’re gone.
  2. Cleanse your Facebook friends. Let’s face it, you probably don’t need to be friends with the old middle school meathead or that chick from the DC Summer Conference you attended during your sophomore year summer. Here’s a tip from a serial friend-remover: Check out your Facebook birthday list. If it’s their special day and you don’t feel inclined to send them good wishes, delete ’em. But don’t stop at just this month’s birthdays; purge through April’s and May’s while you’re at it. You don’t need all that newsfeed clutter anyway.
  3. Cook e v e r y t h i n g in your refrigerator. By Friday, you’ll be packing your bags to head to little old Oyster Bay Barbados and you do not want that Trader Joe’s Alaskan Salmon getting too, uh, ripe. Save yourself the stank and prune through all of your perishables. Otherwise, you’ll be coming back to a kitchen that will make you go…
  4. Speaking of Spring Break, what better way to use your wandering brain waves than trolling around Trip Advisor for “25 Best Things to Do in Cancun” ? There’s nothing worse than arriving at your gorgeous Best Western Motel all-expense paid trip and having no idea what to do next. Is there a local zoo with a rare snake exhibit? What about a modern art showcase on the intricacies of recyclable beauty? Oh, wait, is that a Groupon for bottomless mojitos and tortilla chips after 10 AM at the Crazy Frog?

    And if you don’t know, now you know.
  5. And finally, as I’m sure you haven’t called your mom except in a stressed-out, crying fit all week, give her a ring. If anything, calling now will lessen how angry she’ll feel about the inevitable “I need $100 in my bank account mom, please. This is the last time, I promise” text you send her next week. But while you’re at it, call Grandma, Aunt Sue, your long-distance ex-but-not-really-ex-girlfriend; why not? On second thought, maybe it’s best to just text dad and ask to Facetime with the dog. You do have tests to study for, after all!

Photos/Gifs: appliedvisionworks.com, giphy.com

Finals Flashback: Favorite Facebook Posts

 

Banner - Facebook Flashback

I’m about to drop the worst of the f-bombs: FINALS. Studying for these seemingly never-ending tests can be stressful and overwhelming, if not the worst part of the semester.

When I think about finals, I think about many other f-words: food (because who isn’t hungry 24/7 when studying), fun (of which I am deprived as I sit in a dimly lit Lau cubicle), and Facebook. If you want an F on your final, just open up Facebook, click on a friend’s page, and scroll down. Scroll way, way down. I’m talking pre-2010, when middle school us talked about being on Oovoo, complained about our daily lives, and felt the need to post on social media when we didn’t have any plans.

Thanks to some very low-key stalking kind volunteers, 4E has compiled a list of your favorite bloggers’ best Facebook moments from their better days:

catherine 1I was going to confront you about this, but looks like you already noticed.

courtney 1Were you just trying to prove that you went to school? Do you want an award or something for going?

jenna 1Major retweet. I, too, am overwhelmed by the fact that “groshery” stores have food, and for that very reason, want to leave America, where I hope “groshery” stores will not sell so much food.

keaton 2Actually, it’s funny regardless. And don’t hate on Miley.

dj 1I tried this several times to no avail. Do you have any further advice, because I really love magic circles?

kat 1Yes! Just microwave the battery for a few minutes and it should dry out really fast.

mike 1mike 2Just trying to keep any stalkers up to date on my exact whereabouts at all times.

keaton 1Sporty and fun! Gold medal in embarrassing Facebook posts.

sara 1Personally, I’m screwed for finals, but I feel the pain.

dj 2#blessed

catherine 2OMG did you get his autograph?!?

matt 1Heard the one on Lau 5 is quiet and never runs out of toilet paper!

 

Hope you enjoyed those blasts from the past! Now get back to work!

Photos: videostir.com, facebook.com

The 5 Stages of Writing an Essay at the Last Minute

proper-essay

It’s 9 p.m., you have a 10-page paper due tomorrow and you’re feeling good: you have the whole night (and morning) ahead of you. What could possibly get between you and completing this paper? Sure, you should’ve started it earlier, but you were waaaaaay too busy to even think about it and, besides, there’s no looking back now. All you can do is forge bravely ahead into the vortex of procrastination and self-pity that you are inevitably doomed to enter, with its various stages listed below. See you on the other side.

Stage 1:  Blissful Oblivion

“If I start writing now and don’t stop, I can probably be done by 11:00pm and get, like, 10 hours of sleep,” you tell yourself wishfully with a wholehearted, adorable belief in your own lies. You imagine yourself typing the final sentence of your groundbreaking essay and glancing confidently at the time, impressed with your agility. You’re honestly the best. Now, all you have to do is actually start writing. *Open Microsoft Word document*

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Stage 2: Unavoidable Distraction

Hey, remember that TV show you used to watch in 9th grade and were completely obsessed with? You don’t, until the moment you have to start writing this paper. But, how can you start writing when you don’t even know what those actors are doing with their lives these days? This is critical information. While mindlessly IMDB stalking these strangers and searching for old episodes on YouTube, you might as well check your newsfeed, text a killer one-liner into the group chat and play around with Snapchat filters. While you’re at it, you might as well Facebook stalk that kid who used to sit in front of you in AP Biology. All of a sudden, this information seems totally relevant and interesting. Besides, what’s the difference between starting at 9 p.m. versus starting at 10 p.m.?

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Stage 3: Shameless Self-Indulgence

It’s currently 12:30 a.m. even though you could’ve sworn in was 10 p.m. five minutes ago. How did this happen? It’s seriously time to get to work. But, wait, how can you work when you’re starving? You absolutely need to get food immediately, and then you can definitely churn out an amazing essay in no time. “If I write three paragraphs now, I’ll reward myself with something highly caloric and temporarily fulfilling,” you tell yourself in a blatant act of bribery. You force yourself to write three paragraphs and then treat yourself to the most convenient food item you can find. Normally, you’d be able to finish out this paper now, but you can’t ignore the fact that you’re exhausted. Eventually, you’re able to get your hands on some caffeine, and continue forging ahead.

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Stage 4:  Frantic Desperation

Congrats! You’re five pages in. That’s great except for the fact that you’re only halfway done (sorry). It’s also 2:30 a.m. and suddenly you’re feeling weirdly reflective and philosophical. “What even is an essay?” you ask yourself after rereading your most recent paragraph so many times that half the words don’t look English anymore. At this point, you’re growing increasingly hopeless and start analyzing your life choices. In a brief moment of desperation and lunacy, you wonder what would have to happen to you in order to not be required to turn in this essay tomorrow. You promise to never put yourself in this situation again. You’re great at keeping promises to yourself so this shouldn’t be a problem.

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Stage 5:  Relieved Acceptance 

Realistically, if you just keep writing, you should be finished by 4 a.m. and be able to call it a night morning. This single thread of hope is enough to sustain you, and allows you to complete your sixth, seventh, eighth and, eventually, ninth page. A rush of relief washes over you as you begin the tenth page. You’ve made it to the finish line. Life is beautiful.

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Moral of the story: You should 100% procrastinate as much as possible. See ya at Midnight.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com

4E’s Guide to Dating: Cheap & Easy

old-schoolGone are the days of taking them out to dinner, going for a movie, Netflix and chill (okay so maybe not quite yet). With all the new hip things the kids are doing these days, there are new ~funky~ fresh ways to date. While we don’t have a clue what all the non-millennials are talking about in regards to our “hookup” culture, we do recognize that with all our sleek new technology like “TVs” and “fitbits” we have innovated the art of dating.
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Here are 4E’s top picks to seal the deal, get a second date, network in disguise or to make that other guy/gal jealous (but we think this last one is ill-advised and recommend you just try honest communication). Whatever you’re looking for these new hip unconventional tips and tricks are bound to leave you mission accomplished by the end of the day on a cheap nonexistent budget.

  1. Attend an info session. Did someone say free pizza?! I mean you said you were going on Facebook so you have to follow through. And, hey, if you’re actually interested you get to kill two birds with one stone. Two interests, one hour. Done.
  2. The Walking Date. Don’t have time to go to Yates and make time for the love interest? Like #1, be efficient and do both at once! If you’re really into it we suggest taking it to the treadmills. What better way to spend a first date than racing each other while sweating on machines?!
  3. The One with the Frat Party. It’s Saturday night, you’ve had exams all week and you just want to release all of your tension with a little whip and nae nae-ing but you already told that cute-ish someone you’d hangout with them. Solution: Take them to the party!! What better way to get to know someone that jumping on a couch at Brown House or weaving through a room full of sweaty less-coherent individuals.
  4.  Lau. There’s nothing sexier or more romantic than the basement cubicles… If you think I’m going somewhere physical with this, I’m not. If you really want to show this person  you’re hardworking, driven and serious about them bring your homework. Designate separate cubicles for each other and don’t speak for at least 30 minute intervals at a time. You gotta study that orgo, amiright?giphy-1
  5.  Le Metro. Get super adventurous and take them through the city. Keep it underground of course. Ride it all day if you have to. And if the couple dollars to get on is too much try the GUTS bus, we hear it runs all day and has various stops. If they try to leave after an hour or so continuously assure them that your destination awaits.

 

gifs: giphy, blog.pof.com

4E’s Ultimate Guide to Procrastination

spongebob-rainbowFinals season: it’s the most wonderful gut-wrenching time of the year! Besides spending an inhumane amount of time in the Lau basement, imbibing unhealthy amounts of caffeine, and sleeping at wholly inappropriate hours, you have likely been doing some odd things in an attempt to avoid studying.

Perhaps you have taken a Buzzfeed quiz entitled “Which Mesozoic Era Are You?” (I’m Cretaceous). Perhaps you have found yourself stalking your Grandmother’s Facebook with alarming regularity, or accidentally liking your friend’s boyfriend’s roommate’s little sister’s Instagram post from 73 weeks ago.

It may seem like you are running out of appropriate ways to procrastinate, but don’t worry! 4E is here to save the day with some innovative procrastination methods guaranteed to help you put off studying for your finals until the last possible minute.

1. Watch all 33 chapters of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”

“Trapped in the Closet” is a musical and visual masterpiece. The “hip hopera” will also give you some tips and tricks for what to do next time you are forced to hide in a closet from your lover’s husband.

Time wasted: 133 minutes

2. Wait in the Leo’s pasta line

Artistic rendering of the Leo’s pasta line. Not to scale.

Usually reserved for special occasions and days during which you have a burning desire to wait in line for an unreasonable amount of time, the Leo’s pasta line is a prime destination for procrastination. Not only will you use up a substantial portion of your study time, you will also be rewarded with a delicious bowl of handcrafted pasta.

Time wasted: 25-45 minutes

3. Listen to your voicemails

Those voicemails on your phone won’t just listen to themselves, you know. What better time than finals week to catch up on the 47 voice messages from your mom passive-aggressively letting you know that you need to call her back immediately?

Time wasted: Varies, depending on whether you delete voicemails immediately or let them sit there because who knows, you might get to them eventually.

4. Go on a scavenger hunt in the ICC

If you’re brave enough for this suggestion, just be sure to bring plenty of food and water (suggested amount: seven days worth). Also make sure to tell at least one person where you are going so that the search and rescue team will know where to look.

Time wasted: possibly eternity

5. Plan your wedding to that boy/girl in your history class that you’re in love with but have never talked to

First, decide on the perfect venue. Then, figure out what flavor you want your cake to be, make the guest list and pick out the dress. While you’re at it, you should probably also shoot a text to your preferred Maid of Honor or Best Man and hammer down a date. Maybe you’ll even drum up the courage to start a conversation with your intended spouse!

Time wasted: depends on how many things you already have pinned to your Pinterest board

6. Watch the entirety of Weird Al’s “Trapped in the Drive-Thru”

This odyssey of a song is the definition of lyrical genius. It even has a twist ending!

Time wasted: 11 minutes that you will never get back

 7. Rearrange the furniture on Lau 5

All those cubicles are not conducive to group projects or chats with your friends. Restore feng shui to the library by moving around the tables, desks and chairs as you see fit. You’re sure to get a standing ovation from all the cubicle-dwelling orgo students who have been deprived of human contact for who knows how long.

 Time wasted: 120 minutes. Possibly longer if someone doesn’t appreciate your designing prowess and decides to engage in a verbal altercation with you.

8. Fix Congress

You’re a Georgetown student, so you’re definitely opinionated and informed enough to take on this task. Don’t let your years of hard work and infinite depths of knowledge go to waste!

Time wasted: ????

We hope these suggestions have given you some inspiration for your next procrastination tactic. Good luck on your finals and on getting Congressional Democrats and Republicans to agree on something!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, youtube.com, neatorama.com, tumblr.com

A Hoya’s Guide to Last-Minute Costumes

 

Last Minute Costumes

The greatest day of the year is almost upon us! That’s right Hoyas — in just a few short hours campus will be overrun with ghouls, goblins and other more creative costumes. If you’re planning on taking part in the #debauchery (and who wouldn’t be?) then a great costume is more necessary than a double shot of espresso during finals.

However, given the hectic past few weeks of midterms, parents‘ weekend and Homecoming, many of you may find yourselves in a costume-less predicament. If your lack of a costume is starting to worry you, and you’re actually considering not partaking in all the festive fun, then have no fear! 4E is here with a guide for some last-minute costumes that are somewhat creative and fairly easy to put together.

A Charlie Brown Halloween: If you’ve never seen this classic then you’re definitely missing out! Nothing screams Halloween quite like a ghost costume made out of a sheet with a bunch of holes. You might even receive some rocks when you go trick-or-treating on Embassy Row. For this look, all you need is a white sheet and a Sharpie or black construction paper to make it look like it’s covered in holes. Bonus points if you walk around with a rock all night saying “I got a rock” to anyone you see.

Koala and Tree: Looking for the perfect couple costume for you and your significant other? Or do you just have a really tall roommate and only couple costumes work with your height difference (the struggle is real)?  If you answered yes to either of these questions, then this is the costume for you! For the koala look, rock your best groutfit, throw on some animal ears and paint your nose a la the classic animal-for-Halloween look. For the tree, wear green on top and brown on bottom, and feel free to get creative with your use of leaves and branches to authenticate the look. Such accessories can be found all over Healy Lawn because it’s fall.

Shackers/Walk of Shamers/Stride of Priders: This costume is super easy because you actually put effort into looking as disheveled as possible. No need to flawlessly reapply makeup and style hair to achieve this look! I recommend getting ready and then taking a nap before you join in on the fun so you look as disorderly as possible. Before heading out, just throw an oversized shirt on over an undersized dress and feel free to accessorize as you see fit! Grab some sunglasses and heels to carry around. Dudes can do this too: Pour various colored drinks on your wrinkled and torn button up, throw on some sunglasses and one shoe.

“God’s Gift to Men/Women”: So you think you’re pretty great, huh? Yeah, well why not dress yourself as a present with a bow and attach a gift tag that says “To: Men/Women. From: God”.  Basically you can use this holiday as an excuse to show off just how awesome you think you are really are.

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#Basic: Need some inspiration for this look? Look no further than Red Square between class times. You’re sure to see some fellow Hoyas rocking the flannel-infinity scarf/vest/riding boots combination! Replicate their outfits, find a Starbucks cup and write PSL (Pumpkin Spice Latte for you non #Basics) on it and go around saying things like “Which Instagram filter do you think I should use?”

The 99 percent versus The 1 percent:  This costume can be perfectly executed with just two people and minimal effort. Find yourself a friend in the MSB or someone with some spiffy business professional attire to be the 1 percent and dress up like the 99 percent by dressing as casually as possibly (yes, groutfits are acceptable). Make signs saying “I’m the __ percent” like in the picture below and you’ll absolutely kill it!

“When Life Gives You Lemons”: Step one: obtain a white shirt. Step two: write “LIFE” on your white shirt. Step three: carry around a bowl of lemons. BAM! A Halloween costume that required so little effort it’s ridiculous.

Royal Babies: Draw your inspiration from the greats and have a very royal Halloween. Grab two other friends and dress as Blue Ivy, North West and Prince George. You can go for the actual looks of these famous toddlers or go for a looser interpretation. Costumes could include an all blue outfit with fake ivy or leaves as accessories, a compass made out of cardboard pointing northwest or a British flag and a crown.

“One Night Stand”: This one really isn’t easy to make and definitely requires more effort than the rest, but it’s can be pretty hilarious. Use cardboard or some other sturdy material to put together a nightstand which you can wear around yourself.  Put a lampshade on your head and glue down some other bedside accessories like an alarm clock or picture frame.  Finally, enjoy the plentiful compliments your sure to receive on your creativity.

So there you have it, procrastinating Hoyas: A few costume suggestions to ensure that you have a very happy Halloween! Remember to take part in lots of #debauchery on this great holiday and stay safe.

Photos: pinimeg.com, on sugar.com, jp9.com, cloudfront.net, playborhood.com

The Five Stages of Finals Acceptance

5 Stages of Finals Acceptance

Study Days: a time when classes are over, alarms are turned off and fashion doesn’t exist. Sadly, they are simply a precursor to final exams, those pesky little tests that cover basically everything you’ve learned in the semester. Here at 4E, we know all too well that it takes a little time to come to grips with the impending doom. Here are your five stages of finals acceptance:

1. Denial

Finals? What finals? The first stage is always denial. It’s just too easy to go on, blissfully “unaware” of the impending finals-induced pain. You enjoy your final semi-formals, sleeping in and not having to go to class — ignoring the reason why you don’t have to go to class.

2. Procrastination

OK, so it starts to set in that all of your final exams and papers are about to hit you like a giant brick wall. That doesn’t mean that you necessarily start studying, though. It just means one more Sporcle quiz, one more phone call to your mom or one more load of laundry. Maybe it’s time for a new profile picture? Literally any excuse not to study.

3. Studying Begins

So you’ve finally exhausted all other options. It’s time to gather your books and head to Sellinger, Lau 2, Starbucks or any other social study environment. After all, you won’t be seeing your friends for a while after the next couple weeks. Who says you can’t study and have fun?

4. Panic

Looks like you’ve been having too much fun and not enough studying. It’s time to make the dreaded trip to the “bookends” of Lau (see what I did there?) and head to the silent sanctums of either Lau 1 or 5. You’ve got six pages of a Problem of God paper left to write and a microeconomics exam tomorrow. The Self-Control app is a necessity.

5. Relief

 

At long last, you are finally free! You hand in that last paper, fill in your last Scantron-bubble and crank up Queen’s “We Are the Champions” — maybe that last one is just me. Sure, you still have a lot of packing left, and yes, end of the year goodbyes are sad. But the burden of finals week is finally off of your shoulders.

Gif: tumblr.com, pandawhale.com, wordpress.com; Photo: wisconsinwatch.org