Poli Sci for the Average Guy: Christie’s Jam Recipe

polisciChris Christie, the (usually) reputable, Republican Governor of New Jersey (and likely 2016 presidential candidate) has found himself in a bit of a jam. What did he do? We’re actually not entirely sure. But his staffers did do the worst thing people ever could do: They created a traffic jam (GASP!) on the route linking northern New Jersey to New York City. The jam created a sticky situation for all.

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Governor Christie’s (now former) deputy chief of staff has been accused of “endorsing the mysterious closure of several lanes of traffic in Fort Lee, N.J., as retaliation against the Fort Lee mayor for not supporting the governor’s reelection.” (If proven true, Christie’s red party might hit a major red light politically.) Critics of Christie have referred to the fiasco as “Bridgegate,” a pun on the infamous Watergate scandal. Is Christie the next Nixon, the-I-didn’t-do-that-oh-wait-I-did-that-oh-shoot-now-I-have-to-resign-from-presidency-president … or will he successfully dodge this political bullet and continue down the campaign trail?

christienom1Christie’s response to the whole charade has remained a persistent denial of his connection to the poor traffic control that took place. However, recently leaked emails from Christie aides have led Americans  – Republicans and Democrats alike – to question the honesty of this budding political leader. One such email sent from Christie’s then-deputy chief of staff Bridget Anne Kelly read: “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,” and was sent to Port Authority official David Wildstein, a Christie ally, on Aug. 13, 2013.

Kelly has since been dismissed, and Christie recently announced that he was “embarrassed and humiliated” by the actions of his staffers involved in the scandal. The U.S. attorney in New Jersey has also launched an official investigation into the matter.

With the traffic cleared up and the scandal getting foggier, two important questions remain: Was Christie himself tied to the traffic jam? And, more importantly, did Bill Clinton have sexual relations with that woman?

Photos: cagle.com

Overcoats, More Overcoats and Other Hoya Inauguration Blunders

1. Jan. 23rd, 2009: A year of hope and change…except for DarnallScreen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.28.43 PM
In 2009, President Obama was inaugurated for his first term. Unfortunately, the first headline Hoya readers saw was not one of his historic entrance into office, but of the crap-tastic nature of Darnall’s plumbing. As we enter 2013, not much has changed: same president, same Darnall struggles.

 

2. Jan. 23rd, 2009: Enter Tobias FünkeScreen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.36.11 PM

I’m sorry, but all I can think of is the episode of Arrested Development in which Tobias gets his full leather outfit to be a “leather daddy” … Tobias storming D.C. against Obama? Tobias for president?

3. Jan. 22nd, 1993: Wait … so what kind of coats?Screen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.26.09 PM

Georgetown alumni Bill Clinton steps into office and we have one question: Why is the inauguration being compared to melted animal fats? (Schmaltz is Yiddish for rendered animal fat, usually chicken fat. Thank you, Urban Dictionary.)

4. Jan. 23rd, 1981: The year of fighting steeds

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If you’re attending the inauguration this year, I would suggest taking a self-defense class to prepare yourself for possibility of having to fight off a stallion. I would like to point out that above this inauguration feature was an article about a 25,000-person march to honor Martin Luther King Jr. and, between those two beautiful and important posts, was the article “Hoya Pick-Up Line of the Week Award.” And yes, we will bringing this post back.

5. Jan. 19th, 1973: There are so many things wrong with this.

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I don’t know about you guys, but I have some major issues with the phrase ” … a castrated Congress limping into a new session …” Well, here’s to a new Presidential term and a fully … uhh … “equipped” Congress.

 

Happy inauguration! I’m sure that 30 years in the future, our current staff will be berated for their word choices and out-of-context headlines, but until then, we will continue to be sassy and snarky, just for you.