4E’s Thanksgiving Countdown

It doesn’t seem valid to get excited year after year about a holiday that in truth commemorates our subjugation of native peoples and destructive colonial ways, but let me tell you: I am excited for Thanksgiving break.

You may ask me, “What could be so exciting about five days in central New Jersey?” Well, first of all, New Jersey is the most underrated state. Second of all, a brief reprieve from midterms is exactly what I need to restore my sanity.

Please join me on a ~journey~ to cozy, fall-time feels. Whether you’re travelling home for Thanksgiving or not, these activities should allow you to start healing that part of your soul that a semester-long midterm season has sucked out of you.

First, play this song for maximum reading experience.

Day 1: Nov. 5

Divine your Thanksgiving horoscope. What’s in the stars for you this year? If you’re going home, will you finally hook up with your high school crush? Will you get taken to the hospital with an irreversible food coma? Only one way to find out…

Day 2: Nov. 6

Go vote. If you haven’t voted yet, please motivate yourself with the thought of Great-Grandma Pat’s wrath when you tell her you abused the right she fought so hard for back when they only showered like once a week or whatever. This way, when your family members start arguing at the dinner table, you’ll be able to validate the opinions you’ve honed in all of those SFS classes by proving that you’re an active participant in our democracy.

Day 3: Nov. 7

Plan out your plate. Everyone knows that going into the holiday meal without an attack plan is a fool’s errand. Use the below image to prevent future discomfort and maximize future deliciousness.

Image result for thanksgiving plate outline

Day 4: Nov. 8

Get the 411 on those crazy relatives you’re afraid to see. Call your mom. You should probably do this anyway, but for your own safety, ask her to give you an update about Aunt Linda’s “situation” so you’re not blindsided on the big day.

Day 5: Nov. 9

Start filling up your shopping carts. Two weeks before Black Friday, go against your better judgment and let those natural consumer instincts run wild. I’ve never actually shopped on Black Friday before, but I like to imagine that filling up online shopping carts is just as good.

Day 6: Nov. 10

Check out those fall colors. Get out of your musty apartment for once and take a walk somewhere in the city — it’s actually very beautiful here and we tend to take that for granted too often.

Day 7: Nov. 11

It’s cuffing season. Have you found your big/little spoon yet? It’s getting pretty chilly outside; you should probably get on that.

Day 8: Nov. 12

Convince your dad that a turducken is a bad idea. Tell him the hard truth: 55 is too old to spice things up, especially with the multi-meat equivalent of the Human Centipede. Like him, sometimes oldies are goodies — no more of this millennial nonsense.

Day 9: Nov. 13

Start packing. I’m serious. If you do it this far in advance, you’ll avoid that last-minute packing nightmare in which you somehow only bring home booty shorts, a turtleneck and over-the-knee boots.

Day 10: Nov. 14

Do something ~cute~ with your friends. Make a pie. Drink some chai. Discuss the best moisturizing strategies for preventing dry winter skin (non-spon but pls check out this account @dewydudes). Put aside homework for a sec and appreciate the value of good, wholesome fun.

Day 11: Nov. 15

Come up with a fake major to get your grandparents off your back. They don’t understand that you’re not wasting their money; you’re just finding yourself. So, pose as a Future Government Official/Investment Person to get out of hot water with the old folks.

Day 12: Nov. 16

Learn how to play football (?). I’m very thankful that my family does not maintain this tradition, but if yours does, it’s probably time to tighten up that spiral. Who knows, maybe you’ll get concussed and won’t have to take any more exams!

Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born,” 2018 (colorized).

Day 13: Nov. 17

Thank your roommate(s). Whether you’re best friends or mere living partners, be grateful to this person for putting up with you. This way, your inability to wash dishes and sexiling habits won’t weigh heavy on your conscience over the break.

Day 14: Nov. 18

Friendsgiving! Get together with all of your friends for one last hurrah before going your separate ways. A group dinner feat. Leo’s turkey and mashed potatoes never looked so cute.

Day 15: Nov. 19

Watch the twurkey dance. This is a good distraction that will get you hype for the holiday.

Day 16: Nov. 20

What? Sorry. I’m already gone. If possible, remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the Georgetown environment. This could be done in the form of a really long nap, ripping up a blue book — you name it.

Hoya Saxa! I’m grateful for you <3

Sources: festival-collection.com, giphy.com, youtube.com, people.com

SEE THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS…From Lau!

cherryblossomslau

How is the 3rd hour of your study session? Where is that study break you intended to take?

You’ve somehow found yourself trapped in the unforgiving walls of Lau 2, wondering if the room is really full of talkative people or if it’s all just a dream? You somehow have only been living within the confines of this book filled, fun sucking metropolis, for the past week and have missed out on all of the friendly tourist filled cherry blossom hype?!

Whatever your pity story, 4E has good news: you can see the cherry blossoms from Lau!

Here’s how:

1. Enter the building.
2. Flash your card at the security/student guard while complimenting them on their shirt choice (especially if it’s uniform).
3. Rather than go to Lau 2 head to the basement, not Lau 1, the basement.
4. Find a cubicle farthest away from all windows (if there even are windows down there).
5. Sit down.
6. Try and cover the top of the cubicle to block out all light.
7. Put on your weirdest playlist to set the mood for any of other Lau-basement-ers that might be in your company.
8. Once you’re in this position you’re in a great spot for cherry blossom viewing! Just click here and enjoy.

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If this isn’t quite what you had in mind maybe you should check out: New Jersey… Is this home?! Or Dubai… check out this water park while in Lau! Or this panda down the street, this egg hatchery or spot cute couples lounging by the ocean (ahh awkward) in St Croix!

Too bad there isn’t a view of campus to offer up- you could creep on your friends and all things going on while you continue to sit there alone in that cubicle and procrastinate.

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Happy Studying,

<3 4E

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; http://washington.org/

Poli Sci for the Average Guy: Christie’s Jam Recipe

polisciChris Christie, the (usually) reputable, Republican Governor of New Jersey (and likely 2016 presidential candidate) has found himself in a bit of a jam. What did he do? We’re actually not entirely sure. But his staffers did do the worst thing people ever could do: They created a traffic jam (GASP!) on the route linking northern New Jersey to New York City. The jam created a sticky situation for all.

color-Christie-2016

Governor Christie’s (now former) deputy chief of staff has been accused of “endorsing the mysterious closure of several lanes of traffic in Fort Lee, N.J., as retaliation against the Fort Lee mayor for not supporting the governor’s reelection.” (If proven true, Christie’s red party might hit a major red light politically.) Critics of Christie have referred to the fiasco as “Bridgegate,” a pun on the infamous Watergate scandal. Is Christie the next Nixon, the-I-didn’t-do-that-oh-wait-I-did-that-oh-shoot-now-I-have-to-resign-from-presidency-president … or will he successfully dodge this political bullet and continue down the campaign trail?

christienom1Christie’s response to the whole charade has remained a persistent denial of his connection to the poor traffic control that took place. However, recently leaked emails from Christie aides have led Americans  – Republicans and Democrats alike – to question the honesty of this budding political leader. One such email sent from Christie’s then-deputy chief of staff Bridget Anne Kelly read: “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee,” and was sent to Port Authority official David Wildstein, a Christie ally, on Aug. 13, 2013.

Kelly has since been dismissed, and Christie recently announced that he was “embarrassed and humiliated” by the actions of his staffers involved in the scandal. The U.S. attorney in New Jersey has also launched an official investigation into the matter.

With the traffic cleared up and the scandal getting foggier, two important questions remain: Was Christie himself tied to the traffic jam? And, more importantly, did Bill Clinton have sexual relations with that woman?

Photos: cagle.com